Trauma Awakens
She stepped in front of me, partially shielding me.
The moment Petia moved, the chill in the prayer room returned as if a harsh winter had invaded once more.
“Your Grace the Duke. You’ve surely heard the rumors about me, haven’t you? I possess the gift of foresight. Everything began with my prophecy. Yes, I saw this moment and stand here before you now. However, my foresight is not complete. Your Grace may choose a future other than the one the gods intended. In that case, my disciple and I will simply withdraw according to the natural order and pray for Your Grace’s happiness. Shall we do so?”
Izabel turned her gaze from Petia to the man standing behind her.
Then she laughed harshly, a smile like that of a female wolf leading her pack.
I wasn’t sure whether what she said made sense or not.
“As I mentioned earlier, I will be with Lady Od. Tell me, young disciple. What ability do you think I should prove tomorrow?”
She fully endorsed my plan.
My plan was long, meticulous, and required Izabel’s unique ability.
She would have to display her dignified presence before countless people tomorrow. The countless people were not just the common masses, but also numerous powerful nobles who could not be lumped together as “the common people.”
The only flaw in this plan was that if Izabel lacked the ability to carry it out, it would be better not to start it in the first place.
However, Izabel, who had initially listened to my plan with a wary expression, gradually relaxed her guard the more she heard. She looked incredulous, then astonished, and finally burst into laughter while glancing at the lady-in-waiting.
“Father was right. He said there’s a path to salvation even on the road to death!”
The lady-in-waiting’s face was frozen in bewilderment. She soon clasped her hands, knelt, and cried out, “Gerka-sama, thank you…!”
She was most likely one of the people who raised Izabel. As a lady-in-waiting, she would almost certainly be unmarried—because ladies-in-waiting must share their fate with their masters, so those with families are rarely selected. If that were the case, then for her, Izabel was both the child she had to care for and the parent who held her future and destiny in her hands.
By granting the positions of both child and parent to an eighteen-year-old girl, Izabel had become the most precious person emotionally and philosophically for the lady-in-waiting.
How overwhelming must her emotion have been when that girl, who had almost fallen into the abyss of evil, rose up proudly and stood on her own.
Izabel asked with a much gentler expression than before.
“Which noble family does the young disciple come from?”
I suddenly felt awkward. Izabel harbored deep resentment toward the royal family, and she had judged that mentioning the name of her father—the king’s right hand—would not bring good fortune.
While I hesitated for an answer, Petia spoke on my behalf.
“Arian. The only daughter of the court Chamberlain, Raymond Danier.”
“Ah, now I remember where I’ve seen you….”
Izabel’s eyes scanned me once. Her gaze was filled with goodwill. She then nodded.
“I saw you briefly two years ago. I had planned to come cheer for the tournament, but unexpectedly you didn’t even appear at the arena. Even though your brother won.”
I didn’t think it sounded quite right to say I was overprotective at home, and I didn’t think it made sense to say I wasn’t interested in tournaments either.
As I smiled ambiguously, Izabel looked at me with a soft spring breeze smile.
Why?
I could not understand the sudden change in Izabel’s attitude.
If the king was disliked, my father should dislike her too. Was there something else that had changed the impression Izabel had of my father?
She took my hand.
“If we part today, will we never see each other again?”
What are you missing? You were thinking of cutting off my neck just moments ago…?
Just what in the world had turned Izabel around like this?
“Probably. It would be better in many ways if we do not attend the wedding. As I said, you will walk among a thousand chador flowers. And since those chador were transported from our side….”
“Bringing fresh chador all the way to the north is quite an accomplishment.”
My voice became somewhat stiff out of bewilderment. She smiled cutely and removed one of the earrings hanging from her ear, pressing it into my hand.
“Please come visit Od. Show this earring and I will welcome you into my palace anytime.”
We’re not that kind of relationship, sister. Why are you doing this? You’re making it heavy.
However, in this world, when your status is low, you cannot resist unjust things but it is also difficult to refuse goodwill.
I reluctantly accepted the earring with words of gratitude that sounded sincere.
“Your Grace, the late lady’s memento….”
The lady-in-waiting muttered with a dazed expression. There was only one person the lady-in-waiting could refer to as “the late lady.” Izabel’s mother—Lady Danier, the previous Duchess of Od.
That woman, the epitome of beauty who had sent the duke’s reproductive ability into the afterlife. (Though in a good sense she was not the epitome of beauty. After all, the duke had only one daughter who could bear heirs, and the beautiful duchess was treated as a national crisis to be eliminated. Too beautiful and the country would be ruined—a infamous seductress. Of course, no one would have dared say such a thing in front of the previous duke. There might have been someone, but he would have been deleted from the world before the period could even be added, so it is safe to say there was no such person.)
I looked up at Izabel with a bewildered expression. If it were possible to return it, I would have desperately wanted to hand it back immediately, but Izabel simply smiled faintly.
She personally made me clench my fist, as if telling me I must never return it. Then she said,
“Both of you may leave in peace tomorrow morning. I will not waste the wisdom of the two of you. Evacuate to a safe place.”
She had not mentioned borrowing knights from the Od family. We were not supposed to be related. She understood that clearly. Petia, as always kind,
“May everything proceed naturally. Blessings will accompany you to Od.”
She blessed us. And I, clutching one earring of the late duchess with a trembling hand, did nothing but force my face into a smile.
Damien furrowed his brows at my words.
“That’s a summons.”
Indeed, Izabel giving me only one earring of her mother’s meant she was inviting me to come retrieve the other.
Hah. It was rather scary. I could have pretended not to know and never gone to Od. She hadn’t called me explicitly.
But could I truly avoid facing the Duke of Od forever? No.
Although this era was not like the Victorian age with its ballroom season when everyone flooded the capital, there were still moments when we would have to meet. For example, the wedding of the Serpine heir.
Of course, the duchesses would not attend the Serpine heir’s wedding. If a married man with a title leaves for external affairs, his wife must stay behind to guard the territory, so they do not move together.
But suppose I became the wife of the Hamilcar Marquis. The duchesses would not come to my wedding anyway, but the Duchess of Od would be an exception. She would come herself and her husband would guard the territory. She possessed the title herself.
Then at the wedding the Duchess of Od would appear and request the necklace, saying, “Don’t you remember the one I gave you?” Of course, I had snubbed her for several years, so she would be furious.
From a modern perspective, this was like the line “You gave me the hand cream for my birthday, now give it back.”
But from a medieval perspective, it was quite different. In modern terms it was almost at that level. “You received the key to our house and never visited even once while I was moving? Ah, your heart was only that shallow?”
Ah, it was more serious than that. Yes, it would be similar if something like “Our mother baked kimchi and soy sauce kimchi for you every season and you never came even once?” was added. It was that serious.
The icing on the cake was this: “And you sent the invitation? Even with a mobile phone?” In reality, the situation would reach that point. Therefore, I absolutely had to return that earring beforehand.
Of course, since it was not the modern era, Izabel did not expect quick movement. As long as there was a plausible reason such as a delay of a year or more, it would be accepted.
Something like, “I died” or “I was imprisoned”….
“Anyway, the duke said we can go quickly. We’ll place the chador in the prayer room this early morning and decide when to leave after checking the atmosphere in the morning.”
“Petia, I’ll extract her first.”
It was rare for Damien to emphasize this. I also unconsciously glanced at Petia.
Seeing her, who looked unusually tense today due to the power struggle, almost collapse and fall asleep, I felt a mix of pity and worry.
“Is there something wrong with Petia?”
Damien shook his head.
“There are people who flip their eyes when the Saint is involved, and there are quite a few of them, so I’m just being careful from the start. You’ll understand when you see the Serpine Marquis.”
He recalled for a moment and nodded. As soon as I remembered the medieval man who had been flirting despite his wife being beside him, it made sense.
In any case, if we skipped breakfast, the Serpine Marquis would think it strange, so we decided to attend breakfast only, with Petia being extracted by Damien afterward.
I wondered whether it was right to make such a decision without Petia’s permission, but since Petia would listen to anything I said, it should be fine.
After staying up all night checking the plan once more, I left the room following the young maid who had come to fetch me.
It was early morning, so the air was somewhat cold and the world was quiet. In the darkness, only the candle given by the maid barely illuminated the path at my feet.
While descending the stairs, a faint light appeared far away. I stiffened for a moment. It was because I thought of monsters.
Unconsciously, the maid in front of me and the light approaching from afar became even more terrifying.
Damien.
I thought I could jump to him right away to save me. If Damien knew I was scared, he would definitely take me to the prayer room.
Only now did I realize anew that I had been fine all along thanks to Damien.
When Damien was not there, daylight had come and I had been with Petia, so I hadn’t thought of monsters.
But the moment I became alone, I felt afraid like a person surrounded by people.
The farther the distant light approached, the more terrifying the back of the maid in front of me became. I stopped, frozen, unable to take even one step, trembling.
Damien, please save me.
My mouth had dried up from the unexpected appearance of trauma.
The maid was a person, and the approaching light was a candle carried by a person. No matter how I rationally repeated it to myself, it was useless.
I recalled the moment I faced a monster. I had been very scared then. Actually, I had been… actually, I had been.
“Damien.”
It was the moment I unconsciously muttered that name.
“Yes.”
The answer came from behind my back.