Jane Foresti (2)
Whether it was the warmth Melo had shared with her or simply a night of deep sleep, Jane rose and opened Red Forest's doors at the earliest hour of the morning. Her Young Master, who on any other day would have come by to greet her with a bright hello, never showed his face. One small piece of a life she had taken for granted was gone, and the lack of it left her hollow.
A little later the Traffic Light Trio came in with sandwiches in hand.
"Cosette, is the Young Master at the restaurant?"
"Yes! He was making sandwiches!"
"Was he?"
"Mm, but he looked kind of tired today. More than usual."
"...I see. I'll ring those up for you."
Jane totaled the quills and potions they held out to her. For a moment she thought of going to the restaurant herself, then decided against it. If she faced him without giving herself time, she was afraid everything she was holding in might spill out.
The trio left, and not long after Linne arrived for her shift. She edged over with a hesitant shuffle and bowed her head.
"Ah, h-hello... S-Senior..."
"........"
The words would not come. Jane was sorry for having startled her so badly, and yet, just a little, she resented her too.
Linne seemed every bit as awkward. She fidgeted for a long while, then held something out.
"M-Melo said... to b-bring you this..."
It was a sandwich Melo had made. Jane had no appetite at all, and she pushed it into a corner of the counter.
The morning trade passed without incident. Jane stayed at the register while Linne, reading the room, moved so their paths would not cross—explaining goods to customers and restocking whatever had run empty.
"Senior, I... I'll see you this evening."
"...All right."
After that Jane found herself looking back over everything, from the garden in Roten where the moon had been unusually bright all the way to this moment. The thoughts ran on and on, and before she knew it they had reached last night.
"Jane."
Skadi stood there awkwardly, calling her name.
"You look out of it."
"Skadi, what about school...?"
"I'd have to be able to concentrate first."
"Ah..."
"Hey, do you usually stay open this late?"
"Oh. Right. What time is it?"
"Ten."
"Look at me. I should have closed by now..."
Jane shut the potion shop and looked around inside. Linne had finished her work properly before leaving, and fortunately nothing caught Jane's eye. She sighed and came back to the counter, and Skadi, who had been standing still, spoke with care.
"Want to get a coffee?"
"Let's have it here. I don't really feel like going out."
"All right. Let's do that."
Jane went up to the second floor and could not help but stop. Papers lay in a jumble, and the herbs sat out all alone. A bitter smile touched her mouth. Beside her, Skadi let out a sigh heavy enough to sink the floor.
"You got caught, didn't you."
"Yeah."
"Blow must be... really angry."
"......"
"Haa...."
"Don't worry, Skadi. I didn't say anything about you."
"And you think that's what matters right now?"
Jane, who had been staring blankly, drew out the bag of Skadi's that had been under the desk and held it toward her.
"Here... I'll give this back."
"Did you use all the herbs?"
"No. I didn't even get the chance. I barely looked at the books, either. I'll put some water on."
She moved with a strengthless step. Skadi was thinking of the morning after Roten.
The day after they had soaked in the hot springs at Roten and held their gathering that night—while Hervena and Yulia were watching each other's magic and steeling their resolve—Skadi rose late, rolled about in bed a few minutes more, and finally came outside.
"Good morning. Sleep well?"
"Melo! I keep telling you, you can speak casually with me."
"I can't. The Young Master would scold me."
Melo, up before her, shook her head as she answered, and Skadi stroked her hair as if she were the most adorable thing in the world.
"All right. Did you wash your face?"
"Yes. Sister Jane said she'd braid my hair later."
"Oh my, that'll be so cute. I'll see it later, Melo."
"Okay!"
After the greeting Skadi stepped into the women's washroom and had no choice but to stop at the entrance. Jane was standing there with a hardened face, glaring at her.
"Jane?"
"......"
"Melo's waiting outside."
"......"
Jane only stared, offering nothing. Awkward, Skadi went to the sink and turned on the water. Then a voice reached her, locked tight.
"I heard everything."
The weight of it stopped Skadi's hands.
"...Heard what?"
"What Teacher Mnevoir told all of you."
"How did you..."
"That isn't what matters right now, is it."
A person who rarely grows angry is frightening when she does. In that sense, Skadi was thoroughly afraid.
"Why didn't you tell me? Did you hide it on purpose?"
"I wasn't trying to hide it. The teacher..."
"Skadi."
Skadi shut off the water, turned, and faced her. Jane's eyes looked so terribly sad that Skadi dropped her own gaze.
"Listen. Next time something like this happens, I want you to tell me first."
"Blow probably only found out yesterday too. He came straight back from the monastery, so there wasn't even time to—"
"You could have called me aside after the bath yesterday and told me then!"
"Hervena and I talked it over on the way, too. Since the teacher didn't call for you, we thought it would be better not to say anything..."
Jane watched Skadi manage that much of an answer, then spoke with a sigh.
"I wasn't trying to corner you. I'm just... a little worked up right now. I heard it last night, in the garden..."
"......"
"The Young Master hasn't told me yet, either."
"Come on, he only found out last night. How was he supposed to tell you? It hasn't even been a day..."
"He said he won't tell me."
"Blow said he isn't going to tell you?"
"He said he doesn't want me to worry."
Hearing that much, Skadi forced the corners of her mouth up.
"Blow's probably just as confused as anyone right now. Once he sorts it out, you'll be the first person he tells."
"I hope so..."
Having said that much, Jane washed her face in cold water. In the quiet, only the sound of dripping could be heard.
"Skadi. If I had a favor to ask, would it be all right to ask you?"
"What kind of favor?"
"Get me some materials. If you request them from the school as supplies for an experiment, you should be able to."
"What materials?"
"I'm thinking of trying to brew a potion that can put someone into suspended animation."
Startled, Skadi asked carefully.
"Something like that exists?"
"...No. I have to make it."
"Isn't that too dangerous?"
"And even if I poured everything I have into magic, it wouldn't do any good. I don't have the knowledge. Besides... Teacher Mnevoir and Hervena will handle that side."
Skadi folded her arms and spoke as if to soothe her.
"I don't think barely forcing the result to match is going to work. So instead of that..."
"If it does work, there isn't an easier path than this."
"No, if you think about it... you don't have to—"
"It's the Young Master's business. And I'm his retainer."
"The teacher didn't tell you or Linne, and you said Blow told you he wouldn't say anything. So for now, just—"
"Skadi."
Jane stopped, then caught her hand and held it tight.
"I want to do what I can."
"......"
"I... I like how things are right now. That's why."
In that moment two thoughts came to Skadi at once. One was worry for a girl who seemed to be standing at the very edge of a cliff. The other was fear that if Blow later learned of this, he would resent her for it.
Then tears fell from Jane's eyes in heavy drops.
"Skadi, please. All right? Even if something goes wrong, I won't say a word about you."
"......"
Think of it kindly. Jane's way might actually work.
Thinking that, Skadi nodded.
"I'll do everything I can."
"Thank you, Skadi. Really. Thank you."
And then Jane pulled her into a tight embrace. In that moment it reached Skadi clearly: the anxiety, and the trembling, of a Jane who had always seemed so calm.
The two of them finished their coffee quickly and were now fiddling with the empty cups for no particular reason.
"But when I think about it, I'm a fool too. The Young Master was bound to find out someday."
"What are you talking about? He's the bigger fool...! How long was he planning to hide it from you? Honestly..."
Jane looked at her and let out a faint sigh.
"I was hurt. So yesterday I just... said whatever came out."
"You did? I can't even picture it."
"I asked why he hid it from me. Said I was anxious. Asked why he wouldn't understand me."
"......"
"I even compared myself to Hervena. Said I was a blemish on him. That I wasn't any help."
"What are you saying? Blow would never think that. I thought it was incredible that you were even trying to make a potion like this..."
Jane looked at Skadi. She had things she needed to pour out, and Skadi looked like someone who could take them. Everything they had been through together had earned at least that much trust. After a pause, Jane forced a smile and spoke.
"I was sold, you know."
"...What?"
"When the Young Master collapsed, I was sold off to Splas."
Skadi, at a loss for words, looked at her. It was not that such a rumor had never reached her ears. The moment she heard it she had made plain how much she hated it, and after that no one around her ever opened their mouth about it again. Then she had forgotten it entirely. She had never imagined she would hear it as fact, from Jane's own mouth—the person it had happened to. Pity gathered in her eyes.
"Back then... the Young Master traded Drenor for me."
"So that's why the sword was gone. Jane, are you all right?"
"I was lucky. I stayed at the merchant guild. Nothing cruel happened to me..."
"I'm really glad..."
"Still... it isn't a good thing, is it. Being sold, and coming back."
Moisture returned to Jane's voice.
"Before I know it, those words keep slipping out. That I'm a blemish on the Young Master..."
"So you've said it before."
"Yes. When Grayg came..."
Only then did Skadi's expression harden into something grave. She was hearing, at last, the full story of Blow's duel with Grayg. Blow had said only that something had happened between them. He had never told her the rest.
"He really had that beating coming."
"The Young Master was so angry then. At the table yesterday, I remembered it."
"...When Linne asked Cindy what Blow looks like when he's angry?"
"Yes."
"Honestly, I don't even see how that would be a blemish. I don't understand why you'd say something like that to Blow."
Skadi hesitated a moment, then went on.
"I think it must have been really hard on him, every time he heard you say it."
"I suppose I was just afraid he might think that way too."
"As if he ever would."
"......"
Skadi shook her head as if the very idea were impossible.
"There's no way."
"He could think I'm no help..."
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
"Hervena is better than me in every way."
"Jane... I think you're taking this way too far..."
With those words, Jane saw again the Blow who had raged at Grayg. And yesterday's conversation, too. Was it because she had said it aloud to Skadi? The unease she had felt toward him, the hurt, even the thin edge of anger—all of it was settling.
I only wanted to be fussed over. Like Skadi said, there's no way the Young Master would ever think of me like that.
The thought made a tear fall, a single drop, and a flustered Skadi stepped closer.
"What if the Young Master... tells me to step down?"
"What are you talking about? Why would Blow ever tell you to step down?"
"I keep doing strange things... and yesterday all I did was say harsh things... He hates it when I suffer. The Young Master does."
"......"
"All I ever do is tear myself down, and that was the one thing I asked of him."
"Come on, he wouldn't. The potion shop is called Red... Forest, of all things! And you said you'd talk this evening, didn't you? With Blow..."
Speaking as if to comfort her, Skadi patted her shoulder for a long while.
"I'll stay with you. And... while I'm at it, I ought to tell Blow I'm sorry, too."
"Thank you, Skadi."
Skadi was just as uneasy, but she decided to pretend she was not. Jane would be far more so. She poured lukewarm water into the emptied cup. For a long time, only the sound of sighs drifted across the second floor of Red Forest.
That night Jane and Skadi sat at a table with Linne and Megan. In the quiet, only a clatter came from the kitchen. A little later Blow came out carrying the great pot used for steaming potatoes. When he lifted the lid, a deep, savory smell filled the space between them. While he did, Hans set a bowl before each of them, fork and spoon beside it. Once he had seen that it was done, Blow ladled onto every plate in turn a piece of chicken so tender it fell apart at the slightest touch of the spoon, broth and all.
"...Let's eat first. Then we'll talk."
At Blow's words, once he had taken his seat, every spoon rose. Jane lifted hers without strength, scooped a mouthful of broth, and brought it to her lips. It tasted like being held. Warmth spread through her whole body. From her eyes, tears fell, one after another.