Change (2)
The most miserable Monday morning in the world.
On a morning that miserable, I woke up early. Today, I was going to get there first and wait for Yeonhee before she came to me.
I still didn't even know how her ankle—the one she'd hurt on Saturday—was holding up. I'd already had her reporting to my place like it was a job for a whole month. This time, I was determined to go to her first.
With that in mind, I left the apartment early and stood in front of her gate, waiting for her to come out.
Five minutes had barely passed when the door slowly opened.
"I'm heading out~"
She stepped outside.
Thankfully, there was no cast. It didn't look like she'd stretched a ligament or anything.
"Hey."
I greeted her the moment I saw her come out. She spun around, took one look at me, and tilted her head.
The way she did it looked exactly like a puppy I'd seen on Neotube, and I almost reached out to pet her without thinking.
"Juyeong...?"
If it's not me, then who?
"Yeah."
"What happened to your hair...?"
"It looks weird, doesn't it?"
Maybe I shouldn't have done it. Or maybe I'd picked the wrong style. I'd chosen something I thought would suit me, but the moment I decided she found it strange, I visibly wilted.
I already got teased often enough for how easily everything showed on my face. Now that I was openly sulking right in front of her, Yeonhee caught on at once and rushed to add,
"Ah, no! That's not what I meant—you just look so different all of a sudden!"
Ah. So that was it.
Well, even I had to admit I'd changed overnight. In the way I thought, and in the way I looked.
"Was this the thing you said you had to do yesterday?"
"Yeah."
I thought that would be the end of it, but she pulled her phone from her skirt pocket.
A shutter clicked.
I stared at her, completely at a loss.
"What are you doing...?"
"Ah... a commemorative photo?"
"A commemorative photo of what, exactly?"
"Of you getting insanely handsome?"
That's probably just how it looks to Yeonhee.
"That much?"
"Those bangs that used to get in the way are gone, so I can actually see your eyes clearly now. And you cut the sides and back that were all grown out, so your head looks way smaller than before."
So it looked big before, then.
"Well, that's a relief."
"But why'd you suddenly decide to cut your hair?"
"......"
I wanted to become someone who suited you. I couldn't say it. It was too embarrassing.
Instead of answering, my eyes slid away.
But that seemed to be answer enough, because Yeonhee's eyes curved into a sly, knowing smile.
"Heeh~? Is that it? Is it maybe what I think it is?"
She one hundred percent figured it out.
How is she this sharp? I can't get away with anything.
"...Should we get going before we're late."
I'd decided I wouldn't run away anymore. But maybe just this once would be okay.
On the way to school.
For all that we'd always held hands, the ones we laced together today carried a different kind of pounding. Our fingers were woven together knuckle to knuckle, and the heat of it had grown enough to draw sweat.
Yeonhee walking beside me seemed completely unbothered. She just kept beaming.
"Yeonhee."
"Hmm? What?"
"Doesn't this embarrass you?"
"Of course it does."
She looked at me with an expression that said, well, obviously.
Then how was she able to act so brazen about it?
The secondhand embarrassment of that line made my face burn so hot I regretted even asking.
And as if to demonstrate it in person, Yeonhee pulled my arm in and clung to it. My arm sank into the space between something soft and heavy, pressed in from both sides. It was a sensation I would never get used to even if I lived a lifetime, and a flustered sound slipped from my mouth.
"Hey...! Even so, isn't this a bit too sudden?!"
"Ah. Sorry~ My ankle still hurts a bit, so it's hard to walk properly."
If you're going to pull that, at least don't tack a "tehe~" onto the end!
And you were walking just fine until a second ago—now you're pulling this?
Look over there! If those guys had knives in their hands, they'd be charging over to stab me right this second, the way they're looking at me!
Her own boyfriend was in mortal danger, and she didn't even seem to notice—just nuzzled her face against my arm with a blissfully happy expression.
And it was the same even after we arrived at school.
"Hey guys. Good morning."
"Yeonhee, good mor...ning?"
Kim Naeun, who had come bursting out in response to Yeonhee's voice, took one look at me and tilted her head. Yeonhee opened her mouth without peeling herself off my arm.
"What's wrong?"
"Did you maybe swap out your boyfriend for someone else?"
"What are you talking about...?"
Yeonhee had figured it out this morning from my voice, but I hadn't said a word yet, so Kim Naeun—who hadn't heard it—apparently hadn't caught on.
The question of whether she'd swapped boyfriends. Honestly, if she had, I suppose she had.
From Han Juyeong: Before, to Han Juyeong: After.
"It's me."
"Huh...? Juyeong?"
"Yeah."
"Looks like a lot happened over the weekend...?"
She looked at me, then at Yeonhee still glued to my side. The bewilderment was written all over her face.
Had a lot happened? We'd talked a lot, sure, but all that had actually happened was me giving her a piggyback and holding her. As for what had happened to me, all I'd done was go to a salon.
"Yeonhee, don't you have something you need to talk to Kim Naeun about?"
She still thought we were fake lovers, didn't she? Shouldn't she explain?
The moment I said it, it seemed to finally occur to her, and she peeled herself off me. The sensation of her against my arm vanished, and a strange little pang of loss settled in its place.
...I'm a guy. Can't be helped.
I hung a reasonably convincing excuse on that undeniable male truth and headed for my seat. I pulled out my chair, sat down, and was tidying my bag when a puzzled voice suddenly came from in front of me.
"Who the hell are you? This is Han Juyeong's seat."
"I am Han Juyeong, you lunatic."
I answered bluntly, and he struck a pose of theatrical incomprehension, complete with an outrageously fake reaction.
"So, what's with the hair?"
"Eh... just felt like a change of pace. It's gonna get hot soon anyway."
Did I really need to be honest with this guy too? I didn't see the point, so I brushed it off.
"You look five years younger."
"Could you not talk like I was some old man before?"
I'm still a high schooler, you know?
The closed front door slid open, and the homeroom teacher walked in.
"You lot. Sit down already. I've got an important announcement."
He was carrying a whole stack of papers that looked like school notices. It felt weird to say, but for once, he was actually working hard.
The papers traveled from the front of the room to the back, then further back still, passing through Kang Hanbyeol's hands before arriving in mine. The content was a notice for the school trip.
"The school trip's been scheduled for the dates written there, so take it home, show your parents, and get a signature at the bottom."
"For the record, you don't have to go if you don't want to—but not going doesn't mean you get to skip school, so keep that in mind."
"Yeees~"
"Alright, morning assembly's over! Get on with your own stuff."
"Ah, Juyeong—come see me in the faculty office for a bit."
"Yes, sir."
With that, the teacher left. A few glances drifted my way at the sound of my name, then the class promptly stopped caring and dissolved into their usual scattered chatter.
"What'd you do to get called in by the teacher?"
"Start by dropping the assumption that I did something."
I had a rough idea why he'd called me aside.
"Anyway, I'm heading to the faculty office."
I stood and hadn't taken more than a few steps out of the class when Yeonhee looked up at me, worry written across her face.
"Is something going on?"
"No? Why?"
"The teacher called you, so I just thought maybe..."
She knew my family situation in detail, so maybe something had occurred to her. But unlike whatever she was thinking, it was a needless worry, and a wry smile tugged at my mouth.
I set my hand gently on her head as she sat there and stroked her hair.
"It's nothing like that, so don't worry."
I said it while I kept stroking, and from one row up I could feel Kim Naeun watching the two of us with a thoroughly pleased look on her face. That gaze made me awkward enough to clear my throat, and I slowly took my hand away.
Her head followed my hand for a moment, as if reluctant to let it go, then settled back into place.
"I'll get going, then."
"Okay. Come back soon, okay?"
"Got it."
With that, I left the classroom and headed straight for the faculty office.
The door slid open.
Teachers were hard at work at their desks. The homeroom teachers of each class looked busy with the school trip plans, and the subject teachers looked equally busy putting together their lesson materials.
"Sir. You asked to see me."
"Ah. Right—sit down in the chair next to me."
He pulled out a round rolling chair. I sat in it and waited, listening, for whatever he was about to say.
"You roughly know why I called you, right?"
"Yes. It's about the parental signature for the school trip, isn't it?"
"Then this'll go quicker."
The school trip. Or a retreat.
For the students who did nothing but study, a small chance at a getaway. For the students who didn't study, a chance to make memories with their friends. It was the kind of event no one would fail to welcome—but as anyone could guess, my family situation was complicated enough that I'd never had the luxury of going, and I'd never particularly wanted to, either.
I didn't have a single friend anyway. Why spend the money just to go get left out?
For that reason, I had skipped every retreat from middle school through last year, and spent those three days at school instead.
"Do you want to go?"
"Sorry?"
......This was the first teacher who had ever asked me if I wanted to go.
In the past, I would have just circled "will not attend" the moment I got the notice and turned it in.
Maybe it was okay to go this time.
"I'd appreciate that."
"Alright. Leave it to me, and go get ready for class."
"Yes. Thank you, sir."
Because the person I was now had friends.
Because I had a girlfriend I loved.