A Changed Daily Life (3)
After school on a weekday, I sat with Naeun at a cafe near school, talking about what had happened over the weekend.
"So, how did it go?"
"Honestly? It didn't feel like we made much progress."
"Really? Then nothing else fun happened?"
Fun, huh... had there even been anything?
I'd gotten so carried away enjoying myself that I'd pretty much forgotten the original purpose of the trip. There wasn't much to tell...
"Oh! Come to think of it, there was one thing. Not so much fun as... happy."
"Not fun — happy?"
"Yeah. I actually asked Juyeong to go into the Haunted House."
"What? You, Yeonhee, the Haunted House? You hate scary stuff so much — why would you go in there?"
I hadn't thought it would be that terrifying either. But thinking back on what had happened inside during those brief moments, I didn't regret it at all. If anything, I was glad.
"It's fine. The result was worth it."
The moment I said that, Naeun grinned and stretched her words out like taffy.
"I woooonder what good thing happened to put a face like that on you~?"
Had my expression gone all soft without me realizing? It was embarrassing, but I'd promised to tell her, so I kept going.
"Honestly, I barely remember what happened inside."
"Then what was the happy part?"
I wasn't lying. Truthfully, I'd been terrified before we even went in, and I'd only stepped through the door on a burst of courage I didn't actually have. Once we were inside, I could barely remember a thing. I hadn't had the presence of mind for it. All I could recall was screaming my head off.
And the one memory that stood out most clearly...
"Hehe..."
"Wow, you're completely smitten... Don't keep it to yourself — tell me too."
Ah... I'd only been thinking about it for a second and she was already like this. I shook my head quickly to snap myself out of it, then went on.
"Halfway through, a ghost jumped out and I was so startled my legs gave out. I just... sat down on the floor."
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then?"
"I was sitting there for a second, and then Juyeong held out his hand."
"Woooow..."
I'd been so out of it that I just stared at his outstretched hand for a while, trying to figure out what it meant, which must have looked pretty awkward.
"I took his hand and stood up, and he told me not to let go — just close my eyes and follow him."
I ignored Naeun squealing right in front of me and kept talking.
"Anyway, I was trying to just hold his hand, but my legs kept shaking so I ended up clinging to his arm without meaning to. He didn't say a word about it — just let me stay like that all the way to the end."
Clinging to that warm arm in that freezing-cold space, I felt so safe that I even forgot to be scared for a while. I just focused on the feeling of it. The rides we'd gone on before, Safari World — those had been memorable enough. But that moment had been so good I'd forgotten everything else.
"What was Juyeong's reaction when it was over?"
"Well... I was too shaken up to really look, but I don't think he had any noticeable reaction."
"You were clinging to him that much and he didn't even react... Juyeong's something else."
That's what I'm saying. Maybe I'm just not attractive to him?
But I'd gotten so many confessions before...
No. It meant Juyeong had had such a hard life that he didn't even have that kind of room to spare, right? So I didn't need to get this down about it.
"So besides the Haunted House, any other fun stories?"
"Hmm... not really?"
"What about that lost kid Hanbyeol mentioned last time?"
"Ah... that..."
Who would have thought that just helping a lost child find his parents would turn into something like that by the end.
"We were just sitting on a bench resting, and I saw some little boy crying, so we found his parents. After that, though, there was a bit of a problem."
"A problem?"
...Should I even tell her this?
I'd been the one to ask for her help, so I ought to tell her something — but laying it all out would be too much of Juyeong's private business. I couldn't tell her everything without his permission, so I'd have to filter it.
"It's related to Juyeong's family situation — the one I told you about before. I can't go into the details."
"Ah... it's that? Then you don't have to tell me the details."
"Anyway, after that, Juyeong was really struggling..."
Even when he'd been sick with that cold, he hadn't been hurting that badly. It had really hurt that all I could do then was comfort him — nothing else.
"So what did you do?"
"By the time I came to my senses, I was already holding his head and stroking his hair."
"I'd say that counts as doing pretty well, doesn't it?"
"You think so...?"
"In a situation like that, it would've been the same no matter who else was standing there."
That was true. How many people could actually dig into someone else's family situation and fix it? At the very least, I wasn't one of them. But that didn't mean there was anyone else who could help Juyeong, either.
"Still, for spending a whole day at the Amusement Park, isn't that a pretty thin haul of stories?"
"Uh... well, it's not something that happened at the Amusement Park, but I'll tell you one more thing."
"Something happened outside the park too?"
"Kind of? Sort of? I don't know if it counts..."
"Just tell me. I'll decide after I hear it."
I thought for a moment about how to put it, then opened my mouth.
"It started... after we got off the subway, I think. I'd just woken up, so I was still kind of half-asleep."
"Uh-huh, uh-huh."
"I'd dressed a little too light, so I was shivering, and Juyeong took off the jacket he was wearing and gave it to me."
"Ooh~ isn't that a green light?"
If only it had been.
"Anyway, I just put it on and that was it."
"No review of wearing your crush's jacket?"
A review? I have to go that far?
What had it felt like, again?
"Uh... it was big, and warm, and it felt like I was being... held by Juyeong, and just... really floaty...?"
My voice kept shrinking in the middle, all shy, and by the time I finished, Naeun was staring at me with a scrunched-up face.
"What?"
"What even is this? You're not even dating yet and I feel like I just got salt rubbed in an open wound."
"Hey, you're the one who asked me to tell you."
"I told you to tell me — I didn't think you'd actually say it!"
Then what was I supposed to do...
"Ugh, I dunno! I don't have a boyfriend, so why do I have to listen to this?! Give me a boyfriend too~!"
Naeun had started throwing a tantrum, but I was used to it by now, so I ignored her and drifted back to that moment.
In movies and dramas, people always got shy wearing their lover's clothes. I'd never understood why. But having done it myself, I finally got it. It really did make my heart race. The jacket hung past my waist, as if to prove it wasn't mine. That faint scent I always caught whenever I stood beside him now seemed to rise from my own body.
I didn't want to miss a single bit of it. It felt like, through this, I had taken one more step closer to him.
And I've changed my mind a little, too.
It might be hard for Juyeong to notice first. Which meant sitting here getting embarrassed and hesitating was a stupid thing to do. So from now on, even if it was embarrassing, I wouldn't hesitate to act.
And until the day you tell me you like me.
I opened my phone and checked the date. It had already been over a week since we'd gone to the Amusement Park. My alarm hadn't gone off yet. I'd woken up a little early, finished getting ready, and now sat on the bed lost in thought until it was time to leave for school.
Time really does fly.
As the days passed, I was getting more and more used to this everyday life. It had only been a little over a month since we'd met, but in that short time, so much had changed.
If it hadn't been for all that, what would I be like now? I'd have woken up alone in a cold room, gone to school alone, eaten lunch alone. I'd have spent a whole year in a corner seat, unnoticed by anyone. That much was certain.
When had I gotten used to being alone?
I'd gone around saying I liked it that way. But now that things were like this, I was enjoying it without even realizing.
Is this okay?
I didn't know. If it feels good, that's all that matters.
With that thought, I stepped out the front door.
I took the elevator down and stepped outside, and there she was, waiting for me like always.
"Good morning~"
The moment I came through the door, she gave a little wave and greeted me.
"Morning."
These days, I was still walking to school with Yeonhee. Ever since that first time, she'd been coming all the way to my apartment every morning. At first I'd wondered what she was doing there, but maybe I'd gotten used to it too. I took the hand she held out like it was nothing, and we walked to school.
Maybe that was what she'd wanted to see. Yeonhee walked ahead with a bright smile.
Same as always, we walked to school hand in hand, soaking up jealous stares, and before long we'd arrived.
"Hey, guys. Good morning."
She walked into the High School Classroom and gave her usual greeting, and—
"Ah! Yeonhee! Listen to what Hanbyeol did!"
"What did I even do?!"
Kang Hanbyeol and Kim Naeun, bickering and complaining at each other. And once she got pulled into it and started talking, the day would begin.
"W-wait. Calm down and tell me slowly!"
At the sight of it, a little laugh slipped out of me. I had a feeling today was going to be exhausting, too.