Living Together (2)
It was a pleasant weekend morning, the kind where warm sunlight seemed to greet the day. The feeling of someone shifting in front of me pulled my eyes open on their own. Still half-lost in a dream, I looked ahead and found myself holding someone in my arms. It didn't take long to realize who it was.
......!
I nearly cried out in shock, but the memory of last night stopped me just in time. After Juyeong had fallen asleep, I had snuck under the covers and secretly wrapped my arms around him. Looking back now, it had been so impulsive I could hardly believe I'd gone through with it.
Just a little longer......
The warmth flowing through both my hands kept me holding on. The heat of his body against my tightly wrapped arms, the clean scent of fabric softener brushing my nose — it all felt so good. I wanted to stay just like this until he opened his eyes.
I closed my eyes again and savored the feeling, and Juyeong's face rose unbidden in my mind — the boy who had always been there to help me.
It had started as a relationship I'd half-forced him into. I'd dragged him around with the most ridiculous excuses, and though he'd always looked faintly put-upon, he'd gone along with it every single time.
At the Department Store, an unexpected accident had ended with me hurting him. He'd acted like it was nothing, and that only made it hurt more. The way he hadn't shown even a flicker of irritation after being cursed at — it was almost infuriating. And then he'd been the one to comfort me.
He's so stupidly kind......
Lately, he'd helped me with things that went well beyond our arrangement. I'd been stalked, and I couldn't tell anyone — I'd just suffered through it alone, bottling it all up. And he'd reached out a hand to save me. He hadn't needed to do any of that. Not for my sake.
Thinking that, I opened my eyes and looked at Juyeong's back, and my head felt strangely, wonderfully clear. My heartbeat was picking up. Unable to contain the feeling overflowing inside me, I put more strength into my arms and held him tighter.
"Mm......"
Juyeong stirred and woke. I startled, loosening my grip, and squeezed my eyes shut, pretending to still be asleep. Not long after, I felt him rustling past the arm I'd wrapped around him, slowly sitting up. As he rose, the blanket covering me began to slide up with him.
......!
He must have been startled to find me beside him — I heard him suck in a sharp breath. Then, once he'd collected himself, he carefully pulled away so as not to wake me.
Ah......
For some reason, I felt a pang of disappointment. Juyeong pulled the blanket back over me and left the room. I cracked my eyes open just enough to confirm he'd gone, but my heart showed no sign of settling.
Why am I like this......
It took a full thirty minutes to calm my runaway heartbeat. Every time it started to settle, the memory of that morning would surface again and set it racing all over. Once I'd finally gotten it under control, I cracked the door open and headed for the living room as if I'd just woken up.
"You're up. I was just about to come wake you."
The voice reached me the moment I arrived in the living room. I turned toward it and found Juyeong in the kitchen, putting away ingredients. The instant I saw him, the heart I'd barely managed to calm started pounding all over again.
"What?"
I was just standing there, so he tilted his head and asked. I must have been staring without realizing it. I hurriedly shook my head. He gave me a look like I was being weird, then pointed off to one side.
"Breakfast is ready."
Only then did the table come into focus. On it sat a plate of toast, bacon, and a fried egg, along with a cup of coffee still sending up thin curls of steam.
"Ah... thanks."
With my face burning, I sat down meekly and picked up a piece of toast. Juyeong, finished with his tidying, sat down across from me and started eating too. Even as I ate, my eyes kept drifting upward, stealing glances at him. Whenever our gazes met over the toast, I quickly looked away. Juyeong would look faintly puzzled, then turn aside just as fast.
Why is it so embarrassing to look at him......
Normally, meeting his eyes wouldn't have been a big deal. But today, every time our gazes crossed, my face flushed so hot I couldn't look at him properly. We picked at our toast in silence until both plates sat empty.
"Thanks for breakfast......"
I said I'd eaten well, but my mind was so scattered I couldn't have said whether the bread had gone in my mouth or my nose. As I was thinking that, I saw Juyeong gathering up the plates in front of me.
"Ah... I'll do the dishes."
He'd even made breakfast. Letting him do more than that just didn't sit right with me. When I said so, he told me it was fine, the way he always did. That only made me more stubborn. I reached for a plate — and my hand met his, arriving a beat too late.
I yanked my hand back in a startled flinch. He just gave a wry smile and went to the sink. Getting this flustered over a little brush of hands was even weirder, honestly.
......My body just reacted on its own.
I couldn't control these feelings running wild, so I said nothing and went to the sink, standing beside him. I took a soapy plate, rinsed it, and set it on the rack. I'd been worried he'd refuse even that, but he started handing me plates one by one, so it seemed he wouldn't turn this down at least. And so we stood side by side, doing the dishes together.
"I'm going to the mart to pick up some groceries."
That was what Juyeong said the moment the dishes were done. What would the usual me have said here? Probably the exact same thing I was about to say.
"......I'll come with you."
The words might have been the same, but the meaning behind them was different.
"Sure."
The answer came back short and simple, as if he'd expected it. Even I had to admit I'd always tagged along with one excuse or another. If I suddenly said I wasn't going, that would have looked even weirder.
We left the apartment and headed for the nearby Local Large Mart. The same mart where we'd once run into each other — close to my place, close to his. This time it wasn't a coincidence. We left from the same home and arrived together.
Even after we went inside, I followed silently behind Juyeong as he pushed the cart. Unlike before, when he'd only ever loaded it with greens, this time — maybe because I was there — he was filling the cart with a little of everything. The way he thought of me from start to finish... that same consideration felt so good.
I'd been walking along staring blankly at the floor when a voice from up ahead snapped me back to my senses. I lifted my head and found Juyeong looking at me with a faintly serious expression.
"Hey, you okay?"
"......Huh?"
"You've been staring at the ground this whole time. I thought maybe you weren't feeling well."
He'd been walking in front of me. How did he even know? I didn't need to think long — he must have been checking on me now and then, making sure I was keeping up. The thought made me so embarrassed I started stammering.
"Y-yeah... I-I'm fine......"
Even I could tell I didn't look fine at all, but Juyeong seemed reassured enough. He turned back around and started pushing the cart again. We wandered through the aisles, filling it for a good while, and by the time the cart was about half full, we headed to the register and finished checking out.
On the way back to the apartment, I glanced behind me at the girl following in silence. Yeonhee, trailing along with her eyes glued to the ground. I kept looking back now and then, wondering if she was even keeping up. Whenever our eyes happened to meet, she'd duck her head even lower. Something about it felt off.
Come to think of it, she'd been acting strange since this morning. I'd had breakfast ready, and then she'd just appeared and stood there staring into space. During the meal, she'd kept sneaking glances at me. And after breakfast, when our hands had brushed while clearing the plates, she'd jumped so badly I felt sorry for her. I'd had to laugh.
She'd handled far more than this just fine before. And now she was getting this flustered over something so small. Still, I had a feeling that saying anything would only make it more awkward, so I just hoped time would take care of it.
I brought Yeonhee — still staring a hole through the floor — back to the apartment and checked the time. It hadn't gotten as late as I'd thought.
It felt like hours had passed......
Lunchtime was almost here, but there was nothing to do between lunch and dinner. Normally I'd just lie in bed on my phone, but I had a guest this time, so that was out. I couldn't think of anything to fill the hours, so I started moving to slowly get lunch ready — and Yeonhee stepped in front of me, blocking my way.
"......?"
I looked at her, wondering what this was about. She kept her lips pressed tight for a long moment before finally speaking.
"Um... could I make lunch......?"
......Out of nowhere?
The sudden request caught me off guard, but I didn't have anything else to do anyway, so I figured why not. The moment I said she could, her face lit up. Was it really something to be that happy about?
We moved to the kitchen, and I sat in a chair watching her cook. At first she pulled out a knife and started cutting vegetables......
"Wait...!"
Something about her stance looked all wrong, so I stopped her in a hurry. She flinched, her shoulders jumping. Yeonhee looked at me as if to ask what the problem was, but from where I was sitting, the problem started with her posture. One look at the way she was holding the knife and a sigh escaped on its own.
"Haa... who holds a knife like that."
Even the grip was wrong. She looked like she'd never cooked a day in her life. Then again, I'd never actually seen Yeonhee cook. She'd said she'd do it, so I'd assumed she'd be fine. Apparently not. Even someone who seemed good at everything had a thing or two she couldn't do.
I guess being too perfect would be weird in its own way.
I had no idea what she was trying to make, but she didn't look like she was about to quit, so I decided to just help. I quickly stepped behind her, almost like I was wrapping her in a back hug, and placed my hand over hers on the knife. I felt her flinch. I knew this position was problematic in more ways than one, but from my perspective I couldn't afford to think about anything else — not with her holding a knife and an accident waiting to happen.
"Here, hold the knife like this... are you listening?"
"Uh, uhh... yeah."
I was trying to teach her seriously, but whatever she was thinking, she could barely get the words out. After that came a string of near-disasters. She mixed up the sugar and the salt. She tried to throw in the wrong ingredients. She lost control of the heat and nearly boiled the broth down to nothing. Through all that back and forth, lunch was finally ready.
Once the cooking was done and I sat down, I was exhausted even though I hadn't done all that much. But seeing Yeonhee look so satisfied at the table laden with side dishes, I figured it hadn't been a wasted effort.
"Thanks for the meal."
I picked up a side dish with my chopsticks and took a bite. It was... ordinarily tasty. It had gotten quiet, so I looked across the table and found Yeonhee watching me with an expression that said she was waiting for me to say something. So I just told her honestly what I thought.
"It's good."
Only then did she start eating, looking like the happiest person in the world.
And we still have dinner to go......
Just thinking about it was exhausting, but it had been a long time since someone had cooked for me, and it warmed me a little. This time, thanks to a Yeonhee who looked to be in such a good mood, we made it through lunch with a little less awkwardness than breakfast.