Chapter 865
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 865
At any rate, for now, figuring out what kind of feelings I had was the top priority, just as Matilda had said.
That’s why I’d even deliberately come without asking Silvia to join me.
While riding the carriage to the Royal Palace, I desperately racked my brain, wondering what to do.
Perhaps finding it strange that I was so quiet, even though I was alone in the carriage, Vanessa, who was driving it, unusually spoke first, asking if something was wrong.
Even as I vaguely brushed off Vanessa’s concern, I continued to rack my brain, but honestly, despite all that effort, I had no idea what to do once I got there.
Analyze my own feelings dispassionately, to see if they were love or pity. How the hell was I supposed to do that?
And even if I knew how, would it even be possible for an emotional guy like me?
Damn it. Was there really no other way than to confront it directly?
If I saw Felicia’s face directly, I would definitely feel something different from yesterday.
Even if I wasn’t sure what the true nature of these feelings was, I had definitely realized that, unlike yesterday, I was concerned about Felicia.
“Oh, darling. You’re here?”
At any rate, Felicia, whom I finally faced, at first glance, seemed to greet me as usual.
Of course, that was only if a stranger were looking.
To my eyes, which clearly knew what state of mind she was in, and what kind of voice she had made when I left her room yesterday, her appearance seemed quite forced.
To begin with, it was strange that this playful girl, seeing me return after just one day, would greet me with such a short welcome.
Normally, she would have greeted me with jokes like, “Did you sleep well last night and come prepared to work hard?” or “You came later today than yesterday? Your love has cooled, darling.”
And most importantly, when she said ‘darling,’ I clearly saw her eyes change, even if only slightly.
Perhaps others wouldn’t notice, but she couldn’t fool my eyes, trained by Vanessa’s poker face.
Now that I think about it, after I subtly rejected her before, I had forced her to call me ‘darling’.
So she kept calling me ‘darling’ because of that, but she couldn’t help feeling self-loathing?
Honestly, I didn’t fully understand why she hadn’t shown this reaction when I first rejected her, but was doing so now, but thanks to all the thinking I’d done alone in the carriage, it wasn’t completely incomprehensible.
I didn’t know why I thought that, but perhaps Felicia hadn’t considered herself completely rejected even after I turned her down. And with what happened yesterday, she probably thought she had completely lost her chance.
“D-darling? Why are you suddenly like this as soon as you arrive?”
At any rate, once I understood Felicia’s feelings, something suddenly welled up inside me, and I instinctively frowned to keep my own emotions from showing.
In fact, Felicia, who should have been the saddest right now, was instead looking at me with concern.
Damn it. Whose idea was this? To confront her face-to-face and confirm my own feelings.
An emotional guy like me couldn’t possibly do something like that.
I just got even more emotional, and now I have no idea why I’m feeling this way.
“Ah, are you perhaps embarrassed now about leaving after only doing yourself yesterday? Ahahaha. You have a surprisingly cute side for someone your size, darling, don’t you? It’s fine, really. Sometimes those days just happen in life. I’ll keep it a secret from everyone else that the Saint, who’s so famous for being amazing in that department, came once as soon as he put it in and then fell asleep.”
What do you mean, ‘it’s fine’! You’re not fine at all!
You’re not fine at all, yet you’re needlessly forcing yourself to act normal!
And that last part was true, right? Please, please keep it a secret!
I had a lot I wanted to say, but I kept my mouth shut and said nothing.
If I opened my mouth at this moment, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to control my own emotions, and all the unnecessary words in my heart would spill out.
“Ah, darling. Don’t you trust me? That’s mean. I might look like this, but I can keep a secret.”
As I remained silent, Felicia, perhaps noticing that my state was much stranger than usual, continued to smile and crack jokes.
She probably thought that since I was acting strange, she should act even more normal.
But even that smile Felicia wore only looked sad to me, and my pity only grew.
So in the end, I lost my reason for a moment and acted emotionally.
“Kyaaak!”
I approached Felicia, who was lying diagonally on the bed, and covered her face with a pillow.
…Yeah. No. I know what you’re thinking. You want to ask what the hell I’m doing, right?
But I couldn’t help it. Looking at her face, I felt like I couldn’t control my emotions.
Realizing it again, Felicia really is amazing.
How has she been controlling her emotions like this until now, and even still?
“Mmph! Mmmph! Mmph!”
“Ah, sorry.”
At any rate, perhaps because I acted emotionally, I’d put too much strength into it than I intended, and Felicia seemed to be having trouble breathing under the pillow pressing down on her face.
Apologizing to Felicia, who was flailing her arms and legs in a panic, I hastily removed the pillow.
“Haa, haa… W-what are you doing?”
This time, even Felicia couldn’t pretend nothing was wrong, and she looked at me with a clearly flustered expression.
“Uh. Well… How can you look so sexy even when you’re gasping for breath?”
Having nothing to say in my defense, I decided to just throw out a compliment.
You know that saying, ‘Praise makes even whales dance.’ …Is that really appropriate for this situation?
“What? Darling, you’re only realizing that now? After seeing me gasp for breath so many times before.”
I’ll say it again, you really are amazing.
How can you return such a ridiculous serve in this situation?
“Haa. Anyway, let’s stop joking around now. It seems you don’t like it either. So, darling, aren’t you going to take off your clothes?”
Did she think I covered her face because I was tired of her constant joking?
Well, it’s more convenient for me if she thinks that.
But if the situation turned out like this, did that mean I’d have to do it while looking at her face after all?
No, I mean, that was the original plan when I came here.
But now that I was actually facing her, controlling my emotions was too difficult.
“Is that what you want so badly?”
“…Of course. It was already hard to resist, and yesterday you just gave me a little taste, which only made me burn even more.”
If it were the me from yesterday, I wouldn’t have noticed right away, but even in this answer, I could feel something different from usual.
She hesitated slightly when she answered just now, didn’t she?
As if she didn’t want to be seen as just a woman who was too eager.
Now that I think about it, at some point, Felicia stopped acting like a woman who was openly eager.
Before, just looking at her sitting still would make ‘decadent’ the first word that came to mind, as she exuded such a sexy aura, but lately, she only acts sexy during sex, and when having a normal conversation, she barely gives off that vibe.
“I seriously considered calling another man and just doing it, you know? If you had been just a little later, I probably would have… Kyaaak!”
And of course, she had also completely stopped making remarks that hinted at sex with other men.
But what on earth was Felicia thinking? This time, she suddenly said something like that.
What? Was it because she was rejected and had no chance anyway? So she didn’t need to look good to me anymore, and she was just going to go wild?
I knew. I knew I had no right to be angry, even after hearing words like that.
Because it was none other than me who had rejected Felicia’s feelings.
I knew it, but just because I knew it in my head didn’t mean I wasn’t angry.
Damn it. Just now, a scene of Felicia leading another man to bed flashed through my mind.
Just that brief image flashing through my mind made me furious from head to toe, and I roughly grabbed Felicia’s clothes and stripped them off.
“Ahahaha. Aren’t you being too rough, darling? You’re the one who said it was fine to be with other men if I couldn’t wait because you were late. As expected, you’re possessive even if she’s not your woman…”
“Shut up. Be quiet.”
Felicia had screamed at first from my rough actions, but true to Felicia’s nature of rarely losing her poker face, she soon wore a smile again and threw out a joke.
But this joke felt half-serious, unlike her usual ones, and feeling properly stung, I retorted with a rough tone.
“Ugh…!”
Perhaps not expecting such a reaction from me, Felicia closed her mouth with a slightly surprised expression.
Of course she would. She must have thought I had no feelings for her at all.
And someone with no feelings wouldn’t react like this.
“Why…”
Perhaps she was even more flustered than I thought, as Felicia couldn’t compose her expression.
Not only that, her voice trembled, and she mumbled as if she didn’t understand why I was acting this way.
But I myself didn’t know if I was doing this because I truly loved Felicia, or if I was acting this way because other feelings made me concerned about her, so I couldn’t answer Felicia’s mumble.
Since things had come to this, let’s just pretend the plan to confirm my feelings by facing her directly never existed.
Being this emotional, there was no way I could calmly analyze my own feelings.
It would be more effective to just lock myself in my room and tear my hair out alone.
Today, I’ll just quickly do what needs to be done and leave.
Thinking that, I silently and roughly stripped Felicia’s clothes, and immediately reached for her vulva.
Even if she was trying her best not to appear like an overtly sexual woman in front of me, Felicia’s inherent constitution hadn’t changed.
Therefore, I expected her vulva to be thoroughly wet even before we started, as it always was, but Felicia’s vulva, touched by my fingertips, was not wet at all.
She said she wanted it so badly she could barely resist. Why wasn’t there a single drop of vaginal fluid?
Could it be that the sadness of being rejected by me had so preoccupied her mind that she didn’t even notice her aroused body?
Then why did she say those things earlier…? I see. So I wasn’t the only one who found it hard to have a normal conversation face-to-face and just wanted to get to the sex quickly.
“Ah, ahaha. Anyway, if you just use a Saint skill once, it’ll be solved quickly, won’t it?”
As I continued to stare at Felicia, unable to relax my expression, Felicia offered that excuse with an awkward laugh.
Even though she laughed, it was only with her mouth, and her eyes were still trembling with confusion.
Of course, I had no intention of using a skill.
No. I’m not even sure why I said ‘of course’.
Normally, using a skill to quickly make her wet would be efficient. Especially when I just wanted to finish what needed to be done and leave, like now.
But even as I thought that, on the other hand, I found myself not wanting to use a skill on her. Just like how I rarely used skills on my girls.
It might seem ridiculous to have such thoughts when I wasn’t even sure what kind of feelings I had for her yet, but I decided to act true to my feelings anyway.
“Mmm… D-darling…?”
Unlike my rough actions when stripping her clothes, this time I gently moved my fingers and began to caress her, and Felicia sent me an even more confused look.
I told you not to make that face. Don’t make me any more emotional than this.
“Mmm… Hnn… Ugh…”
My mind was complicated, but that didn’t mean the Saint’s techniques had disappeared, so my gentle caresses precisely heightened Felicia’s sexual sensations.