Chapter 846: The 5.5th Floor
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 846: The 5.5th Floor
When do you think a person truly experiences hell in a Dungeon?
When the monsters are too strong? No.
When you’re caught in a trap and can’t move? No.
When you or your comrades are on the brink of life and death? Yes… but that’s not what I mean! That’s not it!
How good would it have been if the battles were just tough.
Through fierce combat, I might have been able to momentarily forget the feeling of being in the middle of this hell.
Indeed, the monsters on the 5.5th Floor were strong.
But unfortunately, the battles proceeded far too smoothly.
That’s because our party’s level was far more formidable than the monsters’ strength.
My Saint skills made monsters die of pleasure, as if I’d never struggled against 5th Floor monsters before.
Of course, it wasn’t to the extent of taking down one monster with a single Saint skill like in previous layers, but we could still handle them easily if I actively used my Saint skills.
Threon, true to his title as a Hero, slaughtered monsters with his dazzling swordsmanship, and Duke was performing much better than I expected.
Of course, he wasn’t at Threon’s level, who could traverse the 6th Floor alone, but he was an Adventurer after all. Leveraging his superior party play skills compared to Threon and his long-reach spear, he positioned himself slightly behind Threon and me, striking at the monsters’ weak points and riddling their bodies with holes.
Whatever his preferences, it seems his claim of having set foot on the 6th Floor wasn’t an empty boast.
Furthermore, the buffs and debuffs Greg provided through his songs were surprisingly effective.
Honestly, Greg’s level was significantly lower than the other party members here, especially since our party had rescued him on the 3rd Floor, so I hadn’t expected much.
Considering the buffs applied to us and the debuffs applied to the monsters, his effects might even surpass Leia’s buffs.
Of course, a Bard is a job specialized in buffs and debuffs, while Leia’s strength lies more in healing, so it’s not a simple comparison.
Anyway, for these reasons, we weren’t struggling at all against the monsters attacking us on the 5.5th Floor.
So why did I ask when a person truly experiences hell in a Dungeon?
…You’ll see.
“Muuuuscle!”
“Ah, the Saint’s magnificent thing calms even the rough waves of the Dungeon~.”
“Ughhhhh! All of you, just shut up!”
That Bard fellow, his job was to provide buffs and debuffs through songs.
And all of Greg’s songs seemed to be self-composed odes praising me.
No, praising me is fine. But why are you praising my thing?!
Besides, those lyrics aren’t even true!
If you’re talking about the currents in the 4th Floor leading to the ice cave, Diana’s magic calmed them, not my thing! How the hell could my thing calm them?!
Don’t tell me that bastard’s songs he sang in the tavern were like this too?
No wonder he couldn’t find any female party members!
Anyone who hears that song would get that impression!
“Ughhh… I, I cannot fall here! Not until I’ve butchered every last one of those abominable things!”
Of course, I wasn’t the only one who hated that damn song.
Every time Greg praised my thing, Threon would let out pained groans, as if his trauma was being reawakened.
Yet, while doing so, he’d utter subtly heroic lines and effortlessly slice up monsters, especially their things, with persistent focus. Should I call him a Hero after all? Or should I say the Bard’s buffs and debuffs are excellent, granting him power that surpasses the pain they inflict?
No. Perhaps it’s simply that his hostility towards the monsters he’s facing is even stronger than that.
“Muscle! Muscle! Muscle!”
“Muuuuscle!”
I’m talking about the hatred for these monsters, who, with their entire bodies gleaming black with muscle, get full erections and charge at us with strange battle cries.
Yes. Greg’s songs weren’t the only problem.
The monsters on the 5.5th Floor tormented us not just with their combat power, but in other ways too.
“I get that your muscles are great, so just shut up!”
What’s with all the ‘muscle’?! It’s not a bodybuilding competition, so why are your whole bodies so shiny?!
Why are you obsessed with grappling attacks?! And why do you try bear hugs so much?!
And out of all the monsters I’ve met so far, you’re the most human-like, so why aren’t you covering your crotches?! Even those Orc bastards on the 1st Floor covered theirs!
And why are you already fully erect before I even use my Saint skills?!
Anyway, this place, coexisting with songs praising my thing and Threon’s groans, was nothing short of hell descended upon the mortal realm.
Especially the sight of those black beasts charging with their arms spread wide was so horrifying I thought they’d appear in my nightmares.
Damn it. This is a sub-layer connected to the 5th Floor! Sub-layers usually inherit the characteristics of their main layer!
So, shouldn’t there be large monsters, either alone or at most in groups of two or three?!
Why are the monsters here smaller, around 2.5 meters tall, but appearing in hordes instead?!
I’d rather them be bigger and come one by one! One by one!
And just to be clear, when I say ‘bigger,’ I mean their overall size, not that thing of theirs that’s fully erect!
Originally, sub-layers were places where only one male appeared at the very end, and were basically swarming with females! Why is it only like this here?!
Is this really the last sub-layer, like Miriel said, or what?!
“Hiss… hiss…”
At first, I was nitpicking everything, but in the end, I was the first to get exhausted.
Damn it. There’s just too much to nitpick in this goddamn place.
It’s weird that I’m even the one doing the nitpicking in the first place.
Wasn’t I supposed to be the abnormal one in the party? Why do I feel like the most normal person here? Is this what they call the ‘principle of relative normalcy’ I’ve only heard about?
Ughhh. Angel-nim. I always miss you, but today I miss you especially much. Please descend and turn this hellish place into heaven… No, no. No matter how much I suffer, I can’t let Angel-nim set foot in this hell!
“Haha. Greg’s songs certainly have a unique flavor.”
“Is that all?! Is that the only thing you have to nitpick here right now?!”
As I huffed and puffed, dealing with the monsters, Duke said that from behind me, flashing a refreshing smile.
That perverted bastard, despite being a high-level male Adventurer, had a perfectly normal face, and when he flashed such a refreshing smile, it just made me even angrier.
And there’s one thing I want to ask. Why are you so normal, you perverted son of a bitch?! And what ‘flavor’ are you talking about?!
“So, I have an urgent suggestion for the Saint, but if you wear the bracelet, at least he won’t be able to sing about your thing being huge…”
“It’s still huge even with the bracelet on, you bastard!”
“H-huh?! Is that so! Is that so!”
“Stop giving me that dirty look and lower your eyes, you bastard!”
“Muuuuscle!”
“Agh! Sh…!”
I almost swore! This crazy monster, naked and trying to hug someone!
Their attacks were monotonous, but their speed was incredible, so much so that I thought I would have been hit several times already if not for Shadow Movement. It was truly threatening.
But since they’re smaller, wouldn’t their attack power be weaker than 5th Floor monsters?
I have no intention of getting hit by those disgusting attacks just to find out!
“Muscle!”
“I cannot lose! I cannot lose!”
“The Saint’s splendid hand techniques lead even monsters to climax~”
“Saint. Now that I think about it, if their bodies are smaller, it should be easier to dodge these monsters’ attacks…”
“Ughhh! All of you, please just shut up! Please, let’s just clear this Dungeon quietly!”
And so, in the middle of this hell, my personality, which had become much gentler from spending time with my girls, was crumbling in real-time.
Ughhh. I really hate this party. Girls, I miss you. I want to go home.
Angel-nim. I promise I’ll never go off on my own again against your wishes.
Quite some time had passed since we entered this insane muscle-field.
How many days had it been? I’d forgotten to count.
Even the habit of strictly distinguishing day and night within the Dungeon, leveraging the advantage of being able to check the time whenever I wanted, had broken on the very first day we entered here, making it even harder to tell how many days had passed.
We slept when we could sleep and moved when we could move, meticulously filling out the map of this crazy muscle-field.
There was only one hope. Whether this was truly the last part of the Dungeon or not, if we filled out the entire map, we could escape this hell.
Clinging to that single hope, I somehow made it this far, pulling my crumbling sanity together.
And now, before our eyes, stood a muscle-bound bald guy who looked twice as big as the other muscle-bound bald guys.
“You know the plan. I’ll use Shadow Movement to distract the enemy as much as possible while only firing Saint’s Wave. Threon, you’ll slaughter him while he’s disoriented. Tiger, you’ll stay in that corner and focus solely on buffs and debuffs, and Justice Pervert, you’ll cover the three of us as the situation demands. Got it?”
“Yes!”
“Good! Let’s go!”
After meticulously planning our strategy, we faced what might be our final battle.
And we won.
“Hmph. How anticlimactic.”
Watching the creature twitching on the ground, its head buried in a puddle of white and red liquid, I offered a self-deprecating smile.
How exactly did we win, you ask?
Can’t you pretty much picture it just by looking at that sight?
Why would you specifically want to know such a gruesome detail?
Anyway, after dealing with the sub-layer’s boss, we collected the Magic Stones and paused for a moment, lost in thought.
Though we hadn’t explicitly mentioned it, all the creatures in this sub-layer, despite being male, hadn’t dropped their Monster Penises even after dying from my skills.
And the boss we just defeated didn’t drop a Monster Penis either.
Does that mean this sub-layer, like the others, also has a special male individual?
But we had meticulously filled out the entire map of the sub-layer to get here, yet we hadn’t found any trace of a special male muscle-bound bald guy, nor any secret hidden locations.
Of course, it’s possible we just missed something… but I really hope that’s not the case.
We investigated so thoroughly precisely because we didn’t want to go through the trouble of revisiting places we’d already passed.
Go back and search every single place we’ve already been to find a hidden location?
Just kill me now.
“…Let’s just go through the passage first.”
Like other sub-layers, this one also had a boss guarding the passage.
Normally, that passage would most likely lead to the 6th Floor, but this sub-layer had so many peculiarities that I couldn’t be certain.
Yes. I’d rather it lead somewhere new instead of the 6th Floor. Then at least I wouldn’t have to search for hidden locations in that hell.
“This is… the 6th Floor.”
Of course, the Dungeon was precisely the kind of place to thoroughly crush my hopes like that.
Duke, who had set foot on the 6th Floor before, looked around as soon as he exited the passage and trampled on my hopes.
“…He’s right.”
I turned my gaze to Threon, clinging to a sliver of hope, but Threon also nodded, delivering the final blow.
…Goddess. Are you serious? What kind of Dungeon is built like this… Hold it. This is a world with real gods. What if divine punishment falls upon me? I’ll just endure it, being the good person I am.
“…First, let’s go back and calmly examine the place where the floor boss was.”
“…Are you serious?”
“…I am.”
“So the adventure isn’t over yet! This is getting more and more exciting!”
“Although it’s not a journey to rescue a beautiful maiden, a journey to save the world isn’t bad either.”
…I honestly never dreamed I’d say this, Threon, but right now, you’re the only one who understands how I feel.
Why are those bastards perfectly fine after going through that hell?!
“Ah, Saint! Saint!”
We had no choice but to go back through the passage we’d just come from, but even as we walked, these damn guys wouldn’t stop talking.
“Please, just shut your mouths…”
“Ah, no. This time, it’s not about the bracelet.”
“You son of a b… You were aware of it, you bastard?!”