Chapter 763: Rachel's Move
Chapter 763: Rachel's Move
Some might think she’d only lost a dog, but I didn't see it that way.
Well, alright. To be honest, when I first heard the story, I thought it was a little absurd. But as I wracked my brain trying to figure out how to talk to her, my perspective changed.
I’ve never had a pet, so it’s not something I can deeply relate to, but there’s a reason people call them companion animals, right?
Besides, according to Diana, Rachel had truly cherished that dog.
The experience of watching her dog get killed by a monster must have dealt Rachel a shock comparable to watching a family member be murdered right before her eyes.
So, my first priority right now was to validate the trauma Rachel had been secretly holding onto.
“The reason you, who used to go into the dungeon, became a receptionist… was it because of your kind heart, wanting to support adventurers so that no one else would lose their life in the dungeon… wasn't it?”
“Ah…”
At first, Rachel’s voice trembled as she tried to deny it, but as I continued, she could only stare at me with eyes welling up with tears, unable to speak.
“I’m sorry if I’m wrong. If you really just wanted to see if I could love you even with all the other women, then I’m truly sorry. But… this might just be my own misunderstanding, but it doesn't seem like there's any problem between us. I thought there must be another reason why you keep hesitating to become my woman.”
“…No. Guwon… You’re right, Guwon…. It’s not a misunderstanding. It’s true that at first, my goal was to see if I could be loved. No, even I thought that was the only reason. But…”
After saying that much, Rachel fell silent again and lowered her head.
I pulled her head into an embrace, letting her bury her face in my chest, and slowly stroked the back of her hair.
“I’m sorry. If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to say anything right now.”
After all, I hadn’t heard it from Rachel herself, but through someone else. She might not have been ready to confide in me about something like this.
With that thought, I was about to end the conversation, but Rachel shook her head a few times, rubbing her face against my chest.
Then, her hands, which had been wrapped around my waist, tightened their grip on my clothes. She lifted her head and looked me straight in the eye.
Her eyes were still brimming with tears, but her gaze held a firm resolve.
“No. I think now is the best time to talk about this. Now that I’m with you, Guwon… I’m sure if I miss this chance, it will only become harder to talk about it later. So I’ll tell you. Please, let me tell you.”
Of course, I wasn’t about to refuse her.
I gave a single nod and simply met her gaze, keeping my mouth shut to show I was listening.
“Like you said, Guwon, there was no problem with our relationship. Even though we don’t live together like the others, I felt more than loved enough. Though we did have a bit of a crisis.”
As she said that, Rachel looked at me with a playful expression that seemed to take some effort.
She must be talking about what happened yesterday.
“My apologies.”
I had no excuse for that, as I had failed to properly go and see her, so I could only manage an awkward expression.
I thought she was bad at ad-libbing, but to think she’d drop a joke like this at a time like this.
Come to think of it, she’s usually perfectly prepared for almost anything, so maybe she’s not so untalented at it after all?
No. Maybe she’s bad at ad-libbing, but her consideration for keeping the mood from getting too heavy is even greater.
Either way, she’s adorable.
“You proved that you could love me enough, Guwon. Enough that as the days went by, I could only think of you. Enough that I wanted to be in a proper relationship with you right away. Enough that just the thought of being rejected… was enough to make me that anxious.”
Remembering how she’d clung to me yesterday, begging me not to abandon her, Rachel showed a slightly embarrassed expression.
But to think that Rachel, who had always stuck to her persona of an experienced older woman, would bring that up herself.
Does this mean she has no intention of pushing that persona even while baring her honest feelings?
I’ll think it again: she’s adorable.
“But the reason we didn’t become like this sooner… it must be for the reason you said. Even though I myself hadn’t realized it.”
I see. So the reason Rachel seemed to deny it when I first brought it up was because she truly believed that wasn’t the case.
But as she listened to me, she started to wonder if it might be true, and in the end, she accepted it.
“Guwon. You know me better than I know myself, don’t you?”
“No, not to that extent… I only figured it out after hearing about your past from Diana.”
This time, it wasn’t a persona.
As Rachel spoke with the expression and voice of a genuinely perfect, gentle older woman, I felt a bit awkward and retorted reflexively.
“Mhm. But even Diana, who knew my past, couldn’t guess that was the reason I wasn’t getting into a deeper relationship with you, right? You must have figured it out on your own, Guwon. Didn’t you?”
“Well…”
“Thank you. For thinking of me like that. For loving me so much.”
But what I got in return was a sincere thank you from an even more sisterly Rachel.
I feel like I’m going to die of embarrassment. How can she say such cringey lines so casually? Is this the power of an older woman?
As I thought, an older sister is a magnificent being, regardless of her actual dating experience.
“Like you said, after our Kelbi…”
“Hm?”
“Ah, our baby. His name was Kelbi. Full name, Cerberus. Kelbi for short.”
That’s a terrifying name for a pet dog that might still be alive in the dungeon even now.
I almost let the joke about the dead—no, the dead dog—slip out, but I desperately suppressed the urge. And while I was at it, I desperately suppressed the twitching corners of my mouth.
Hold it in. You really have to hold this one in. The moment you burst out laughing, it’ll be a catastrophe.
Dammit. I should have asked Diana for the dog’s name beforehand.
If I’d heard it during a normal conversation, I would have just snickered and moved on, but hearing it dropped so suddenly in the middle of a serious talk like this makes it so hard to hold back.
Seriously, Diana, you said it was a fluffy, cute puppy! Why the hell is its name Cerberus?!
Well, if she took it into the dungeon with her, it must have been a pretty intimidating-looking puppy… or rather, a full-grown dog, so I guess the name fits in a way!
And the way she shortens it to Kelbi makes it sound subtly cute, which is even funnier.
“I-Is that so.”
A myriad of thoughts flashed through my mind in that brief moment, but with immense patience, I managed to overcome them.
“Anyway, like you said, after I lost Kelbi, I realized I was afraid of losing people I knew in the dungeon anymore. The reason I became a receptionist is just as you said. And the reason our relationship didn’t progress… I was definitely afraid of losing you in the dungeon. No, I’m still afraid. Especially since I got a small taste of that feeling when you were stranded on the 4th Floor. Even before we had confessed our feelings to each other, I felt a sadness even greater than when I lost Kelbi. If I were to lose you now, after we’ve confessed… no. If our relationship progressed even further, and I lost you after we became a proper couple… Just thinking about it…”
As if imagining such a scene, Rachel’s body, held in my arms, trembled.
I held her tightly until the trembling subsided.
“So I’m sure I was subconsciously dragging out the progression of our relationship on purpose.”
After saying that, Rachel let out a small sigh and muttered in a self-deprecating voice.
“And yet, our relationship has steadily progressed anyway, so it’s all meaningless now. No, even if our relationship had stagnated, my feelings for you would have kept growing, so it would have ended up the same, I guess.”
Just as Rachel said, the problem she’d been putting off remained unresolved while only our relationship had moved forward.
That must be why she was feeling even more conflicted.
Hoping to lighten her mood even a little, I decided to start with some banter.
“Have we… really made any proper progress in our relationship?”
“…That’s so mean. How can you say that after what we did yesterday?”
“No, I just want to hear you say it properly with your own mouth—is it okay for me to confidently call you my girlfriend from now on?”
“…Of course it is.”
“Does that ‘of course’ mean of course it is? Or of course it isn’t…”
“…Guwon, are you teasing me now?”
“Of course not. It’s just that happy words are always a pleasure to hear, no matter how many times.”
“I think I’m starting to understand why Sara always calls you an idiot.”
“Hey, that’s mean.”
After that, we looked at each other and chuckled.
Though Rachel’s eyes still held a complicated light.
But I wasn’t finished talking yet, either.
“Well, jokes aside. To be serious, you don’t need to worry at all about losing me in the dungeon. I have a reason why I absolutely cannot die. I will never die.”
“…Because you have to complete the mission given to you by the Goddess?”
“No. I don’t even know what that mission is yet, so of course not.”
“Is it okay for the Goddess’s messenger to say something like that? Leia or Matilda would faint if they heard you.”
“I’m sure the Goddess is generous, so she’ll understand something like this. And Leia and Matilda definitely love me, so they wouldn’t faint over just this… Still, please keep it a secret for now.”
You’ll let this slide, won’t you, Goddess?
And Leia and Matilda would surely understand, since they think my life is more important than the mission, right?
No, still, saying something like ‘to hell with the mission’ might be a problem.
“Hehe. I’ll see how you behave, Guwon.”
Well, for now, Rachel smiled again, so I’ll count it as a win.
I composed my expression again, looked at Rachel, and continued in a serious voice.
“Anyway, more than that, I have a much more concrete reason why I can’t die in the dungeon.”
“What is it? This reason.”
“Because if I die, Diana said she’ll follow me and commit suicide.”
“Huh?”
At my following words, Rachel’s eyes went wide, her expression asking if she had heard me correctly.
“No, really. It came up once when I was talking with Diana. That girl threatened me, saying she’d kill herself if I died. And she wasn’t joking; she was dead serious. So I can’t die. If Diana were to actually kill herself, millions of mages would become vengeful spirits and chase me all the way to hell.”
“……”
“Of course, that part’s a joke. Ah, I mean the part about the vengeful mages is a joke. The suicide part is real. Anyway, even if it’s after I’m already dead, I could never stand to see one of my women commit suicide. So I will never die. I can’t die. So you can rest assured too, Rachel… Sorry. I guess something like this isn’t really reassuring, is it?”
To be honest, even for Rachel’s sake, I couldn’t stop going into the dungeon.
It wasn’t because I was burning with a sense of duty. And it was even less because I was burning with a sense of adventure.
It was simply because I had no idea how the Goddess would react if I quit exploring the dungeon.
In the worst-case scenario, there was even a possibility that she’d take away all the abilities she gave me and send me back to my original world.
If that happened, I would never be able to see not only Rachel but all of my women ever again.
For me, who was now so invested that my relationships with my girls were everything, that would be no different from a death sentence.
So I couldn’t stop going into the dungeon.
Therefore, all I could do for Rachel, who would have to keep watching me go into the dungeon, was to say things like this to help her feel even a little more at ease.