Chapter 593: The Butler's True Feelings
Chapter 593: The Butler's True Feelings
“Why are you making that face? Do you think I did something wrong?”
“Are you saying… you didn’t?”
Vanessa answered in a low, growling voice, as if forcefully suppressing an explosion of rage.
“Yeah. I didn’t.”
“…Then you have nothing more to say, do you? Wouldn’t it be best if you left?”
Vanessa muttered, glaring at me. Her fists were clenched so tight they trembled, and she even made a grinding sound, as if gritting her teeth.
To be honest, seeing her like this was terrifying.
I mean, of course it was. The butler standing before me was a higher level and stronger than I am.
But to hear Vanessa’s true feelings, to hear the voice of a heart she couldn’t even understand herself, I needed to provoke her more, to make her lose her composure.
Bracing for a punch, I subtly clenched my jaw. Then I continued my shameless tirade.
“No. I told you, didn’t I? I do have something to say. But before that… yeah, I am curious. What exactly do you think I did wrong?”
“…You said you were only after my body, didn't you?”
“So what?”
“……Huh?”
She must not have expected me to be so brazen. Vanessa’s trembling fists stilled for a moment as she seemed to process what she had just heard.
Before her anger could explode, I turned off the shower and began to circle the bathtub, my shameless voice continuing unabated.
“What’s wrong with that? Think about it. You like me, but you don’t want to be my woman, right?”
“……”
“Because a relationship with me might interfere with your duties as a butler. Because you want to remain Diana’s perfect butler. But at the same time, you also have a greedy desire to feel my love sometimes. Am I wrong?”
“……”
“In that case, shouldn’t you be happy the moment you accepted that’s what I was thinking? Wouldn’t that be the ideal relationship you’re imagining?”
“…I… I’m not like that…”
“If I truly had feelings for you, I’d relentlessly cause a scene trying to make you my woman, to the point where it would interfere with your duties. But if I don’t? If I just covet your body occasionally, at a frequency that’s just right for you? It’s perfect, isn’t it? You get to feel my love sometimes, and I get to satisfy my desires with your body. For both of us…”
CRACK!
As I continued my shameless rant, it seemed even Vanessa’s patience had finally reached its limit.
She shot up from her seat and threw a punch with all her might.
Right next to my face, into the wall.
A gale-force wind whipped past my face as a deafening roar echoed through the room, making it feel as if the entire space was vibrating.
But I didn’t even blink. I just kept my eyes on Vanessa and decided to finish what I was saying.
To be precise, it wasn’t that I didn’t blink, but that I couldn’t blink.
Even though I’d been mentally preparing for it, it happened so fast I couldn’t even react.
I was afraid to turn and look at the wall where her fist had landed.
Did she punch a hole all the way to the next room? Was she really trying to kill me?
“…a win-win, isn’t it?”
But I didn’t let my inner thoughts show, managing to finish my sentence.
The secret to not looking scared even after realizing the situation?
Focus all your attention on the breasts jiggling right in front of your eyes.
She had been under the shower until just a moment ago. Vanessa was, of course, naked, and the large fruits hanging from her upper body were swaying wildly from her sudden, violent movement.
“No! I! I don’t want that kind of relationship! I! I…!”
The moment I finished, Vanessa finally screamed, her true feelings erupting.
“You what? You’re not about to say something selfish, like how you have no intention of ever being my woman, but you want me to keep loving you with all my heart, are you?”
“Ugh… khk…! I… I… like… I like you… That’s why I want to be loved. But I don’t want to give up on myself as a butler… I want to repay Lady Diana for her kindness in raising me… I know it’s selfish, but… is that… is that so wrong?”
At my sharp question, Vanessa collapsed back into the bathtub as if crumbling.
And then, she finally muttered her true feelings.
“Are your duties as a butler that important?”
“You wouldn’t understand! My clan… how much I owe Lady Diana…”
“That’s not what I’m talking about right now, is it? Gratitude, repayment. None of that matters right now. I’m not talking about the things you feel you have to do out of a sense of burden or responsibility. I’m asking about your true feelings. Deep in your heart, do you truly prefer being a butler over being my woman? Is it more precious to you? That’s what I’m asking.”
“I… I truly believe my duties as a butler are…!”
Even after I’d pushed her this far, Vanessa, who had seemed to momentarily lose her composure, stubbornly chose to remain a butler rather than become my woman.
But my attack wasn’t over yet.
No. In fact, everything up until now was just laying the groundwork. The real thing was about to begin.
“Oh, really? Then why are you here, acting like this?”
“Wh-what do you mean…?!”
“It’s just as I said, isn’t it? Your butler duties are the most precious thing to you. More than any relationship with me. So why are you here now, neglecting those duties, agonizing over the thought that I only wanted your body?”
“I-I wasn’t feeling…!”
Her nerve struck, Vanessa panicked and tried to make an excuse, but I held up a flat palm to stop her.
“Ah, ah! Don’t give me any nonsense now about not feeling well or something. You’re like this because of me. You have been ever since you heard what I said at the restaurant yesterday.”
“Urgh…!”
“So, Miss Vanessa, for whom her butler duties are the most important thing in the world. Would you care to give me a convincing explanation as to why you’re here now, neglecting those very duties?”
Having completely seized the upper hand, I continued to press her.
Come on, let me hear your true feelings.
“…Isn’t that a matter that has nothing to do with you, Sir Guwon?”
Vanessa couldn’t answer my interrogation and remained silent for a long while.
Then, she finally managed to glare at me and say that.
“Why would it have nothing to do with me?”
“You… ugh… don’t even like me, do you?”
The thought seemed to make her want to cry all over again.
Her mental fortitude already weakened by my relentless questioning, Vanessa’s usual expressionless face was replaced by a faintly sad one. Still, she muttered those words as if it were better than explaining why she had abandoned her duties.
Of course, I had anticipated even this reaction from her.
“But I do like you.”
“…Huh?”
“I like you a lot. I love you from the bottom of my heart.”
“…Hah! W-wait! What are you…!”
“Haaah. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa.”
I knelt on one knee to meet the bewildered Vanessa at eye level. I placed one hand on her shoulder, holding her gently, and tapped my own head with the index and middle fingers of my other hand.
“Think about it. Have I ever said I don’t like you?”
“But my body…!”
“Have I ever said my only goal was your body? I, at least, never confirmed that.”
The moment I said that, Vanessa’s pupils began to tremble.
She seemed to be rapidly replaying our conversation from moments ago.
“B-but you said it was a win-win!”
“I meant it would have been a win-win if I were only after your body.”
“B-but! But if you truly had feelings for me! You said you’d relentlessly cause a scene trying to make me your woman, to the point where it would interfere with my duties…!”
“That’s what I’m doing right now, isn’t it?”
“B-but! But then yesterday…!”
“Vanessa. Think carefully.”
I tapped my head again with my index and middle fingers.
“I said that through our acts, I would make your body unable to live without me. In other words, I said I wanted to make you completely my woman. If I didn’t like you, why would I do something like that? I’d just settle for being convenient sex partners. It was obvious that if we just let time pass, we’d end up in a regular physical relationship anyway, right? If I were really only after your body, do you think I would have said that?”
“Wait… huh? …Th-then… I…”
Listening to me with a dazed expression, Vanessa’s pupils trembled even more violently, as if she couldn’t accept the current situation.
This is dangerous. Seeing a girl who’s usually a complete iron mask react like this is giving me a strange sense of pleasure… No. That’s not what’s important right now.
“It means you were misunderstanding everything over nothing, getting depressed, and acting all pathetic.”
As I said that, I turned the shower back on.
Streams of water rained down on Vanessa’s head again, creating a pathetic atmosphere… though to be honest, she didn’t look pathetic, she looked sexy.
Damn it. This is why beautiful women are so…!
“Neglecting your duties as a butler, no less.”
“Ugh!”
The moment I said that, Vanessa realized what she had done and hastily tried to stand up.
She might have wanted to project an image of ‘I must fulfill my duties as a butler starting right now!’, but to me, it just looked like she was trying to run away out of sheer embarrassment.
I gently pressed down on the shoulder I was holding, preventing her from going anywhere.
Of course, Vanessa, being stronger than me, could have easily shaken me off, but she didn’t resist my hand and sank back into the tub.
“In other words, unlike you, I’ve liked you from the very beginning, which means I have the right to question you. Now then, Miss Vanessa. Would you care to tell me? Why were you here, neglecting your duties as a butler?”
“I-I… I…”
“Say it.”
“M-more than fulfilling my duties as a butler… just as much as fulfilling them… y-you…”
“…Me?”
“…these feelings for you… might be… precious.”
And finally, finally, I was able to hear Vanessa’s true feelings.
It was a little disappointing that she was about to say her feelings for me were more precious, but then changed it to say they were equally precious, and that she ended ambiguously with ‘might be.’ Still, it was a satisfying enough answer.
Fulfilling her duties as a butler. In other words, serving Diana with complete loyalty.
These things represented her repayment for Diana’s kindness, Vanessa’s feelings for Diana.
In short, for Vanessa to say what she did meant she was admitting that the magnitude of her feelings for Diana was equal to the magnitude of her feelings for me.
With Diana, of all people.
What a relief. What a huge relief.
Hearing that answer, I could finally let out a sigh of relief.
I’d acted after thinking it over and over, but honestly, it was half a gamble.
The fact that Vanessa had clearly intended to become my woman when she confessed to me when we were alone.
And the fact that the moment doubt about me arose, she abandoned even her precious butler duties and locked herself in her room.
Considering those two points, I thought that if I could just strip away that iron mask and reveal her true face, it was a gamble with a good chance of success.
But still, I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.
From the moment she confessed to me, Vanessa’s affection for me must have been at its maximum.
Given her personality, there was no way she would have even considered confessing to me, no matter what she and Diana had discussed, if that weren’t the case.
Of course, the Apostle Appointment had failed.
But there was only one reason for that: deep in her heart, the obsession that she had to prioritize Diana was still rooted there.
But with her previous statement, Vanessa had finally cast off that deep-seated obsession.
Now. Now, I could definitely succeed with the Apostle Appointment.
I was certain of it, instinctively.