Chapter 532: The Cardinal's Dilemma
Chapter 532: The Cardinal's Dilemma
It was true that, until now, I had tried not to exploit my status as the Saint.
After all, isn’t there a saying about a rolling stone pushing out the one that’s already set?
No matter how clearly the existence of a god was established, and no matter how much I was her messenger, you can never truly know the hearts of people.
If I had used my status as the Saint to do whatever I pleased, a faction that viewed me unfavorably would have surely emerged.
In other words, I had restrained myself from using my position as much as possible to avoid causing any unnecessary trouble.
I may be exploring the dungeon for now since I don't know the details of my contract with the Goddess, but at my core, I'm the kind of guy who thinks it's more than enough to just live peacefully with my girls.
I might seem like I live thoughtlessly, but I actually do think these things through.
In the first place, the Pope probably acknowledged me as the Goddess's messenger because he judged that I wasn't the type of person to abuse that authority.
But even so, I didn't have the slightest intention of standing by idly when it came to being forcibly separated from someone I cared for.
I was prepared to raise hell, leveraging not only the Saint's authority but also Diana's power. If it came down to it, I was even ready to bow my head to Felicia and borrow the power of the royal family.
Of course, that was only if Matilda didn't want to be separated from me.
I had spoken to her in a strong tone, filled with that conviction, but for some reason, Matilda looked offended.
…Huh? Isn't this the part where she should be moved, or at the very least, relieved? Why is she making that face…?
"It's not…! It's not just about that!"
"What do you mean? Don't keep it to yourself. Tell me properly. I can't understand if you just hold it all in like that."
Not just about that?
You mean there's another problem?
"But! But what if the me who is freed from the curse doesn't react the same way as I do now…!"
Matilda shouted, placing her two fists on my chest and pounding them lightly.
Seeing her face, filled with such anxiety, I finally understood why she had been so distressed.
Right. Matilda wasn't just anxious about having to return to the Holy See once the curse was lifted.
Of course, considering her reaction earlier, that was certainly part of it, but there was another reason she didn't want the curse to be broken.
In other words, Matilda was just as anxious as I had been.
Just as I had doubted whether her love for me was a product of the curse or her own true feelings, she, too, was terrified by the possibility that the emotions she was feeling were truly caused by the curse.
She had once declared with certainty that they were her true feelings, but the human heart isn't always so strong.
With me continuously putting off accepting her until the curse was broken, it seemed it had been difficult for Matilda to maintain confidence in her own heart.
"I truly love you. I want to stay by your side forever. But if the me who is freed from the curse doesn't react the same way, you'll send me back to the Holy See, won't you? And after that, we'll never see each other like this again, right?! Then I'll have no way of confirming if I ever truly loved you…!"
I see. She was right. When the curse is lifted, many things will change.
No one knows exactly how they will change, but things will definitely be different.
Matilda probably won't enter her pink mode anymore.
She might still have favorable feelings for me. But I might see her changed attitude and conclude that she no longer loves me.
There's no knowing what the future holds.
Matilda's worries went beyond simply having to return to the Holy See or her feelings being a product of the curse. Her anxiety was about the uncertain future itself.
It was certainly a difficult problem.
But it wasn't without a solution.
Watching Matilda pour out her feelings in a tearful voice, I thought of a way to definitively resolve her anxiety.
"I'm sorry, Matilda. For not realizing until now. For my own indecisiveness."
Honestly, the reason I hadn't fully accepted Matilda until now was entirely for her sake.
Think about it. What if the curse was lifted, her feelings for me vanished completely, and we had already been in that kind of relationship?
What if, on top of that, she had the Apostle's Seal engraved on her body?
Once engraved, the Apostle's Seal can never be removed.
Of course, it could be made invisible, but it would never truly be gone.
In other words, a Matilda who no longer felt any love for me would have to bear a mark proclaiming she was mine for the rest of her life.
That's why I had been holding back, thinking it was for her own good.
But I wasn't so soft as to continue putting off a decision after seeing her in such distress.
I may not look it, but I'm a man who gets things done when it counts. I'll make the decision.
"Ah… Y-You…"
I placed a hand on Matilda's chin and gently pressed my lips to hers.
I thought her pink mode might activate, but Matilda didn't change.
She simply stared at me with trembling eyes, as if she didn't understand the meaning of my actions.
I couldn't believe she didn't go into pink mode even from a kiss. Had something changed with the curse? Or had it weakened slightly from our sessions to dispel it?
Well, now wasn't the time to worry about that.
"Matilda. From now on, you're my woman. From this moment on, and even after the curse is lifted, you will always be my woman."
After the light kiss, I whispered to her.
From Matilda's perspective, my sudden change of heart might be confusing.
But I judged that it would be far more stabilizing for her to have a certain future rather than to continue worrying about an uncertain one.
Yes. The certain future of always being by my side as my woman.
"B-But you… You said you were sure my current feelings were because of the curse…"
"It doesn't matter whether your feelings right now are your own or from the curse. I'm a selfish guy. I want to keep everyone I love by my side. And it doesn't matter if you stop loving me after the curse is lifted. I'll just make you fall for me all over again. I'm the Saint, after all. What kind of Saint would I be if I couldn't even steal the heart of the woman I love? So, you don't have to be anxious anymore."
Even I had to admit it was a slightly—no, a very high-handed declaration.
But I had already made up my mind. I decided to stop the useless worrying and push forward with my decision.
Acting like this instead of agonizing over an uncertain future was more my style, anyway.
And above all, I was sure this was what Matilda wanted.
"So, all you have to do is answer. Tell me, Matilda. Tell me you'll be my woman."
"Y-You… Yes… Yes…!"
Just as I expected, despite my selfish declaration, Matilda's face was filled with emotion.
To think I had made her worry for so long over something so simple.
"You… You… I love you… I really… truly do…"
A single tear streamed from her eye as Matilda entered her pink mode. She cupped my cheeks with both hands and kissed my lips over and over again.
"Yeah. Me too. And I'm about to show you the proof."
With those words, I wrapped my arms around Matilda's waist, lifted her up, and carried her toward the bed.
To ensure my own resolve doesn't waver, I'm going to engrave the Apostle's Seal on her right now.
The thought that I hadn't gotten permission from my girls flashed through my mind, but this time, it couldn't be helped.
I had come here to talk to Matilda, but I never imagined our relationship would progress this far, so I hadn't thought to ask for their permission beforehand.
But thinking back to when they gave me their blessing for my relationship with Rachel, it seemed my girls had already accepted Matilda as a matter of course.
Just this once, reporting it after the fact should be fine, right?
Having reached my own conclusion, I gently laid Matilda's body down on the bed.
To engrave the Apostle's Seal, I first needed to finish inside her.
"Ah… You…"
Once she was lying on the bed, Matilda called out to me, her voice tinged with anxiety.
Our conversation had likely eased much of her fear, but it seemed she couldn't help but feel a little scared of the act that would break the curse.
Come to think of it, it seems her pink mode has been flickering off whenever she feels these negative emotions. Is it somehow related to the curse?
"It's okay. This is to prove that my resolve won't waver."
I looked down at her and spoke in a soft, reassuring voice.
Engraving the Apostle's Seal was, in a way, like branding her. A declaration that this woman would be mine forever.
In the game, the Apostle's Seal was something you could use when a character's affection reached its maximum, but in truth, the seal had no binding power.
In other games, a skill used on an NPC with maxed affection would naturally come with a feature that locked their affection at its peak. But in the games from Great Earth, which I suspected the Goddess was involved with, there was no such function.
Because of that, back in my original world, many people criticized the company for needlessly raising the difficulty by omitting such a convenient system. But thinking about it now, perhaps it was a feature they intentionally left out because forcibly locking someone's emotions went against the Goddess's philosophy.
In any case, what this meant was that even with the Apostle's Appointment, her love for me could fade at any time.
But even if it did, the seal, once engraved, would never disappear.
Instead, if her love cooled, the seal would change, appearing as if it had split in two.
When love faded, the unique ability of the Apostle's Appointment that let you see a partner's detailed stats would also disappear. So, in the game, the only ways to know if affection had dropped were to use a special item to check it or to look at the seal itself.
If the seal split, you had to raise their affection once more to make its shape return to normal.
It was a convenient feature in a game, but if it became reality, it was nothing short of a brand.
I had used the Apostle's Seal on my three girls because I was confident their love for me would never fade, and even if by some miracle it did, I was determined to use any means necessary to make them love me again.
But with Matilda, I had hesitated and agonized over using the seal because I didn't know what would happen once the curse was lifted.
Even if I succeeded in engraving the seal because of the curse, if the curse was lifted and the seal split, Matilda would be unintentionally branded.
But now, fully aware of that possibility, I was going to engrave the Apostle's Seal on Matilda's body.
This was a promise and a vow to myself.
A pledge to myself that no matter what happened, even if Matilda's feelings for me faded after the curse was lifted, I would, as I said before, absolutely make her fall in love with me again.
"You…"
As if sensing my resolve, Matilda completely shook off her fear of the curse-breaking act and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me close.
Her hazy eyes told me she had changed back into her pink mode.
Usually, I had a hard time dealing with Matilda, who would switch into pink mode at the drop of a hat, but right now, looking at her, I felt a sense of relief.
It supported my hypothesis that her pink mode was deactivated when she harbored negative emotions.
The fact that she was in pink mode now meant that, at least for this moment, she wasn't feeling any negative emotions like anxiety.