Chapter 350: Guwon’s Counterattack
Chapter 350: Guwon’s Counterattack
But even my furious shout was silently swallowed and swept away by the roar of the fanatics chanting Guwon’s name.
“Diana. Do you have some kind of magic that can amplify my voice?”
“Hm, mm. Do you need it?” Diana asked, her expression showing she was just as fed up with this wave of fanatics as I was.
And she wasn’t the only one.
Leia and Matilda were so startled that they were cowering behind me, terrified by the sea of zealots.
Meanwhile, Sara, who despised all men other than me, was radiating such a murderous aura that she looked like she was shrouded in black energy.
It was probably thanks to her intense bloodlust that they weren't daring to get any closer, just shouting from a distance.
After all, these fanatics looked like ordinary civilians, not adventurers.
Even Silvia had entered combat mode, drawing her sword and assuming a defensive stance, which must have made it even harder for them to approach.
“Yeah. Cast it on me.”
After confirming that Diana had cast the voice amplification spell, I took a deep breath, tensed my stomach, and bellowed with all my might.
“Everyone, shut the hell up!”
My voice came out much louder than I’d expected, and the entire area fell dead silent in an instant.
“Ahem. You there.”
“Yes. Ah, y-yes, sir!”
Feeling a little embarrassed, I pointed at one of the fanatics in the front.
“You can be their representative. Explain what in the world is going on right now.”
“W-Well… we heard that… that you are the Saint sent by the Goddess.”
The man I’d singled out looked a bit flustered, but he soon seized the opportunity and began explaining eagerly.
“Who told you that?”
“Well, there were many rumors… The priests said so, and according to a certain bard, you are even in the process of healing the Cardinal, who was afflicted with a curse no one else could cure…”
Alright. The first name on my shit list is that beastkin bastard. What was his name again?
“So?”
“Ye-Yes?”
“So, what is it that you all have gathered here in a mob to ask me to save you from?”
“We heard that if you, O Saint, would bestow upon us your great techniques, then even a man with no talent could learn to please a woman.”
“What kind of bull— Ah, don’t tell me… Hey. Who told you that?”
“I-I don’t know the details, but… I heard there is definitely one couple who has been saved…”
Johan and Hanna, you bastards…
First that beastkin son of a bitch, and now them. Why is everyone around here so loose-lipped?
Do they have any idea that their actions are repaying my kindness with enmity?
“So, in other words, every single one of you here is a man who doesn’t know how to satisfy a woman, and you’re looking to me for salvation?”
“Th-That’s right! Please, save us pitiful souls, O Saint!”
“Save us!”
As the man cried out, the others seemed to think it was their cue and began to clamor for salvation once more.
“Stop making puns with my name…! Ugh! Dammit!”
I was about to lose my temper, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it when I saw the men desperately prostrating themselves and crying out for salvation.
I mean, they had to be truly desperate to go this far.
These men, who had never once properly satisfied a woman, were now clinging to me as if I were their last straw.
Of course, it would be a lie to say I completely understood, since I’d never once had that problem, but as a fellow man with the same equipment, I could sympathize with how they must be feeling.
But even if I felt sorry for them, this wasn’t a problem I could solve.
How was I supposed to lecture this many people one by one?
Was I supposed to hold a seminar while we all engaged in a group orgy? Walk around and correct the clumsy ones? I’d rather die than do something like that.
For now, I decided to placate them and send them away.
“Everyone, be silent and listen to my words!”
I spread my arms wide as if I were a true saint, lowered my voice, and spoke in the most solemn tone I could muster.
Well, I mean, I am a Saint, but not that kind of saint.
Hearing my cry, the men who had been shouting for salvation instantly fell silent, their eyes sparkling with anticipation.
Don’t look at me like that, you grimy bastards. It makes me want to hit you.
“I understand your plight well! If I had the power, I would wish to help you in any way I can! But alas, I am currently engaged in a matter far more critical than your salvation!”
The moment I shouted that, the eyes that had been filled with expectation were now colored with the light of anger.
In short, I had just told them that their suffering in their sex lives was nothing compared to the work I was doing now.
But let’s see how long they can keep glaring at me like that.
I immediately wrapped my arm around the waist of Matilda, who was right behind me, and pulled her to my side.
“You see this poor woman! This beautiful lady is the very same cursed Cardinal whose name was mentioned earlier, Cardinal Matilda! She is a magnificent woman who has suffered alone, shouldering a terrible curse that causes her to fall in love with any man she lays eyes on, and then renders every single one of them impotent!”
“H-Hiiieeeek!”
As soon as I said that, a space with a radius of about twenty meters instantly cleared around us.
They were in such a hurry that some people were pushed over, trampled, and even injured.
But paying it no mind, the men scrambled to get away from me in an instant.
It seemed that no matter how useless their equipment was, the thought of it not working at all was truly terrifying.
This was what I’d been aiming for when I brought Matilda into it, but still, wasn’t their reaction a bit too much? You’re going to make the girl cry.
“Poor woman… Beautiful woman…”
Nope. She didn’t seem to mind at all.
Held in my arms, Matilda was lost in her own world, staring blankly at my face with a dazed look in her eyes.
In any case, things seemed to be going as planned, so I decided to continue.
“There are still thousands of men in this world suffering, unable to even get an erection because of this curse! Your situations are pitiful, but unfortunately, I have only one body! As a Saint, I must prioritize my duties! And in my judgment, it is only right to first save those who cannot even get it up! Am I wrong?!”
As I looked around at the crowd, the men hung their heads, unable to say a word.
Though I had a feeling half of them were doing it to avoid making eye contact with Matilda.
Don’t overreact. As if Matilda would fall for guys like you just from a glance… right?
“Th-Then, O Saint! Once you resolve her curse, will it be our turn next?!” a brave young man shouted, lifting his head.
He must really want to satisfy a woman.
“Of course! So, all of you faithful followers of the Goddess, you may now leave in peace. The curse is being treated steadily. If you continue to block my path like this, the treatment of the curse will be delayed, the suffering of the men who cannot get an erection at this very moment will be prolonged, and the improvement of your own sex lives will be delayed that much longer!”
I clenched both fists, raised them powerfully beside my head, and shouted in a tone that could not have been more persuasive.
Whether they were convinced by my persuasive tone or not, the wave of men who had been crying for salvation began to stir with a different meaning than before.
Good. It’s working.
“Then I shall depart at once to continue treating the curse!”
I put Matilda in front of me and walked forward into the crowd.
Then, with Matilda at the center, a path opened up through the wave of sweaty men, parting like the Red Sea in the miracle of Moses.
I never thought the day would come when Matilda’s curse would be helpful. You really have to live a long time to see everything.
As I forged a path, my party members, realizing the situation, hurriedly followed behind me.
“Phew. That scared me. What was that all about? How did so many people know when I’d be coming out and gather in front of the Guild like that?”
Only after we entered a high-end residential area devoid of people was I finally able to let out a sigh of relief.
This area was mostly inhabited by nobles, so it would be difficult for those men, who seemed to be mostly commoners, to just barge in.
“It just shows how desperate they were. By the way, what were you thinking, saying something like that?”
“Huh? What?”
“About saving them later. Were you being serious?”
“No. Of course it was a lie. So what? From now on, I can just wear a robe and hide my face so they don’t recognize me, right?”
“You seem to underestimate the tenacity of man,” Diana said, shaking her head.
Come to think of it, Diana was my senior in this particular field.
Did she think I wouldn’t be able to avoid people’s eyes forever?
“Besides, if you say something like that and then do nothing, the temple might get involved.”
“Huh? The temple? Why?”
“Did you not just declare yourself an emissary of the Goddess? Think about what happens when such a person breaks a promise. To prevent the Goddess’s name from being tarnished, the temple might pressure you. Have you not considered that? Even I would have a hard time shielding you from pressure from the temple when it acts for the sake of the Goddess’s dignity.”
“N-No way… Really?”
I looked at Matilda, who would know the temple’s intentions better than anyone in our party.
Matilda, who had by then snapped out of her own world, avoided my gaze with a slightly apologetic look on her face.
“Well, it’ll work out somehow! I might have to fight a Demon God, for crying out loud! I don’t have time to worry about stuff like that! I’ll think about the future later. For now, let’s go back and get some rest!”
I gave up and shouted in a ‘let’s just see what happens’ kind of way, then headed for the mansion.
“Welcome back… Did something happen, sir?”
When we returned to the mansion, Vanessa, who was greeting us at the entrance as always, asked the question.
It seemed that even to Vanessa, our expressions looked utterly exhausted.
“Vanessa, you… you don’t know what was happening outside?”
That’s how massive the crowd was.
And that was just the number of people who were on standby, not even knowing when I would appear.
The rumors about me must have been circulating throughout the entire city for the past few days.
“…Did something happen, sir?”
But from her expression, Vanessa had no idea what I was talking about.
I’ve finally found a weakness in this super-butler.
This woman, unless it’s something special, she’s always cooped up in the house, so she’s incredibly slow on the uptake when it comes to rumors.
Well, not that it really matters.
“No. It’s nothing. I’d like to rest for a bit. Could you get things ready?”
“Yes. I will prepare the bathroom for you.”
“You mean the big bathroom, right? Great. I’d love to soak my body in a large tub. So, shall we all go wash up together?”
“Stop trying to sneakily satisfy your own desires!”
Tch. It was a perfect plan. How did she see through it?
“Why not?! We’ll just wash! We can dismiss the maids who attend to us, right? We can all just get along and…”
“Guwon. Have we ever once had a time where we went to bathe together and only bathed? What are you planning to do in a place where everyone is naked?”
“Guwon-ssi… Even so, in a place with everyone present…”
“Th-That’s right! There’s a limit to shamelessness!”
It wasn’t just Sara; even my angel didn’t seem to believe my claim that I wouldn’t do anything.
And now that Leia wasn’t the only cleric, the opposition was even stronger.
Matilda, you weren’t even the target… well, I mean, your figure is… yeah. Fine. I’ll acknowledge it. Ugh.
“…I will wash quietly in my room.”
Attacking me with facts like that is just cheap…
In the end, my attempt at instigation failed, and I had no choice but to say that.
“Mm. I’ll be waiting. I shall be there shortly.”
“Ugh…”
As Diana spoke cheerfully, Sara, who had just attacked me with facts, grimaced.
Heh heh. Serves you right, Sara. That’s what you call reaping what you sow. If you hadn’t objected, you could have at least had some fun with me in the bathroom.
I gave Sara a little smirk, then returned to my room, alone and lonely.
What is this feeling of defeat?
No. If I just wait a little while, a bright future—a happy time with Diana—awaits me!
I decided to soak leisurely in the bathtub, enjoying some time to myself, before sprawling out on the bed to wait for Diana.