Sacrifice and Victory
A world of pure white manifested. Or rather, had it always been here? Where was this? Who was I? And why did this space feel so familiar?
I tried to move my body, but I couldn't feel a thing. It was as if my physical form had ceased to exist. I wanted to speak, to open my mouth... but nothing budged. There was only an empty void. It was utterly bewildering. Yet, if that was the case, how was I still thinking?
Just as my mind was about to shatter from the sheer confusion, a faint memory surfaced. I was... the Saintess.
But the memories were tangled, and I couldn't tell what was real. I fought the Demon King. But aren't I a man? My recollections began to warp. Memories of marching onto countless battlefields... Wasn't I just an ordinary office worker? My mind was a muddy swamp.
Two lives coexisted within me: one as a man, the other as the Saintess. A man who had lived a peaceful life, and a woman whose existence was nothing but war and struggle. Was I a man, or was I a woman?
As the confusion peaked, my non-existent body and mind felt as though they were being torn apart. Memories and information began to collide and fuse. What was my name? Woman? Man? Saintess? Office worker? Peace? Slaughter? War? Demon King?
Just then, a figure radiating brilliant light flashed through my mind. The Hero, Yu Jin... How could he smile like that? A portion of my chaotic memories snapped into place. I was the Saintess, and I had fought the Demon King. And in the end, I had sacrificed myself to save everyone...
The forbidden spell that placed even one's soul on the scales as payment: Sacrifice. If I used that, then I must be dead. Did the Hero... did Yu Jin survive?
I had been too embarrassed to ever call him by his name. I had always just called him "Hero." A pitiful man who, like me, had been dragged to another world against his will and saddled with the duty of a savior. He grumbled a bit, but he always took the lead, raising the Holy Sword because he believed people's lives were what mattered most.
But the Demon King was too strong. Why on earth did such a monster invade that world in the first place? I didn't know, nor did I care to find out. I suppose it was just the law of the jungle.
It was a shame, but this was likely my life flashing before my eyes—or rather, the final phenomenon of my soul dissolving. Dragged away by force, turned into a woman, forced to play the part of the Saintess... Standing on the battlefield, slaughtering countless demons and monsters, and sometimes even executing betrayers of humanity with my own hands. Murder... It was a horrific memory.
At the same time, I had saved countless lives. It wasn't all painful and horrific. There were warm memories, too—of my companions, the comrades-in-arms who stood by my side on the battlefield. Now... I can finally rest, right?
I wanted to know, just at the very end, if the Hero and our companions had defeated the Demon King... But I decided to trust him. I trusted Yu Jin. If it was that cheerful guy, I knew he would have pulled it off. Yes. So, let's sleep.
Just then, a familiar, irritating voice echoed.
My memories weren't fully sorted out yet, but I knew exactly who this was. The very culprit who summoned me, the deity of that other world who turned me into a woman and forced me to act as the Saintess... that damn Goddess.
Hearing the foolish Goddess's voice made my blood boil. Fuck! I felt a sudden, deep regret for letting myself get tricked by this crazy bitch into playing the Saintess, and the fact that I had sacrificed myself to save her world was starting to feel like a massive rip-off.
A wish... When the Goddess first summoned me, she promised to grant any wish if we defeated the Demon King. Does this mean the Demon King has been defeated? If I had a mouth right now, the corners of my lips would have curled upward. Yu Jin... the Hero did it. My sacrifice wasn't in vain.
Her nagging voice vibrated directly against my soul. A wish... was it? When I was first summoned, my only hope, my sole desire, was to go back home. But after rolling around on the battlefield for ten years and witnessing unspeakable horrors, those feelings had dulled. Was it even right for someone like me—someone who had slaughtered countless demons and humans alike—to return?
But I had no wishes left. I just wanted peace. I wanted to lay everything down.
Oh, for fuck's sake! I said I didn't want to, and she's throwing a fit again! That damn Goddess. If she was going to be like this, she shouldn't have dragged me here in the first place!
What is this crazy Goddess even talking about?!
I said I don't have one, so why the hell are you nagging me!
Fuck! I just want to rest in peace, and she won't even let me do that!
Fine! Just so I don't have to look at this goddamn Goddess's face anymore, I'll make a wish! Then, fuck! Send me back to my original world, and make it quick!
What! Fuck! We defeated the Demon King anyway, didn't we? Then we're done here!
I didn't understand why the Goddess was worrying about my companions. Hey! If the Hero's party won, then shouldn't I just step back now? My once-clouded memories were crystal clear at this very moment. I don't know anything about politics, and it's too much of a pain anyway! I'm just going back!
Yes! Anger awakened my primal emotions. I was going home. I would see my parents, my sibling... my family again. Yes, that was what I had fought for... I hadn't fought with some grand, noble goal. It was just that, as I fought, I saw so many pitiful people. So I did my best in my own way, struggling to save everyone. The result of that struggle was my sacrifice, but in the end, we succeeded, didn't we? That was enough. So now, let's go back!
Even though my hands were stained with blood... like that damn Goddess said, I saved people. I saved the world. That was enough.
What! You damn Goddess! I made the wish just like you wanted! I'm going back to my original world! Don't tell me you can't grant it? If so, that means my ten years of struggling were completely pointless. Suddenly, my heart felt like it was sinking into darkness.
Ha! A "problem" from this damn Goddess? Isn't that basically the same as saying she can't grant it?
I couldn't trust a single word out of her mouth. Come to think of it, wasn't she just so incompetent that she couldn't protect her own world and had to beg another world for help? She was a total failure of a deity. Believing in this useless, deadbeat Goddess was my first mistake.
Somehow, even without eyes to see her, I could picture the Goddess sulking. Then just grant my wish right now!
Did I really think that? My mind was clear now, and my memories were returning one by one. Of course, they weren't perfect, and there seemed to be some gaps here and there, but this was close enough to normal.
A warm light enveloped my body, and my surroundings gradually came into view. This place... I knew where this was now. It was the chamber where the Goddess had first summoned me.
The Goddess was sitting at a desk in front of me, working diligently on something. Looking around, the situation was a bit different from when I was first summoned. Back then, the space had been much smaller and in ruins, but now it was clean and spacious. There hadn't even been a desk—just a shabby, empty room—but now there was a proper desk, and even the Goddess looked neat and tidy.
I felt a small swell of joy. I really did it... A sense of pride washed over me.
And then, I recalled the moment I was first summoned. I had been an ordinary office worker. I had graduated from a mundane two-year college, so I couldn't land a high-paying job... but I had found a normal job at a factory to earn a living. It was a truly ordinary life.
Aside from going to an all-boys middle school and high school, meaning I had never even properly held a girl's hand, it was an extremely average existence... I never could have guessed my life would get so spectacularly derailed.
One day, after finishing work, I was heading back to my studio apartment with a bottle of soju. I was walking under the night sky, looking up at the stars and the moon, when I was suddenly pulled into this place.
What did the Goddess say back then? It was something along the lines of her world being in danger and needing my help. Naturally, I told her to fuck off. There was no way an ordinary guy like me could do something like that.
The Goddess begged and pleaded, claiming she had prepared everything for me. And besides... she said there was no way back. To return, I had to defeat the Demon King and make a wish. What kind of bullshit was that? It was hard to believe, but it was the absolute truth... So, I had no choice but to resign myself to my fate.
And so, my soul was placed into the body the Goddess had prepared, and I was sent down to the Other World to serve as the Saintess.
The world was in a far worse state than she had let on. Humanity's territory had shrunk to a mere twenty percent, and so many had died that they were at their absolute limit, barely able to wage war anymore. There was a reason the Goddess had resorted to relying on an outsider like me.
The only saving grace was that the body I received was extraordinary. It was a vessel crafted in the exact likeness of the Goddess herself—a human form, but possessing power that transcended humanity. According to her, it was practically a Demigod... Yet, even with such a body, I couldn't turn the tide of the war on my own. My intervention only managed to barely balance the scales, allowing us to maintain our territory.
When the situation failed to improve, the Goddess summoned yet another soul from another world: the Hero, Yu Jin. Once the Hero arrived and a party was formed around him, we were finally able to light the beacon of counteroffensive.
The Hero's party tore through the demon forces without hesitation. Bit by bit, we reclaimed our lost lands, but our limits were all too clear. Thus, all the surviving races gathered to devise a single strategy: a commando operation to send the Hero's party directly to the Demon King.
Meanwhile, the remnants of humanity would expend all their remaining resources to launch a massive assault on the demons. Their role was to keep the demon forces pinned down so they couldn't interfere with the Hero's party. While we, the strike force, targeted the core of the Demon King's army and the Demon King himself, humanity would hold the line at all costs. We fought with our lives on the line, determined not to let their sacrifices go to waste.
There were countless dangers, and moments where we teetered on the brink of defeat. But in the end, we stood before the Demon King. And...
According to the Goddess, we won. I didn't know what would happen to that world now. Having spent ten years there, I felt a certain attachment to it... but that was for the people who would continue to live there to worry about. It wasn't the concern of someone about to return to Earth.
So, damn Goddess! What was the problem?!
What is she even saying? This crazy Goddess!
Hey! Hey! You bitch!
Don't say things like that... You damn Goddess... You worked hard too, Goddess.
My vision gradually darkened. I felt my body being pulled somewhere. Was I finally returning?
Why was she apologizing so profusely even as she sent me back? I didn't understand the reason. Not until the very last moment.