The Way to Break a Curse
When I opened my eyes again, I was lying somewhere completely different from the underground bathhouse. The sticky sensation of the silver holy water was gone. What touched my fingertips now was smooth, pure white marble. The air, once humid and warm from the incense smoke mixing with the bath steam, had vanished. In its place was a space filled with cool, refreshing air.
Yeah, this place was definitely…
“What the hell? Where am I?”
I had no idea. Blinking rapidly as I tried to get my bearings, I shot upright like a spring and looked around. An endless expanse of white marble floors stretched out in every direction. Massive pillars soared straight up as if holding the sky itself, and an arched ceiling rose so high it seemed impossible to gauge its true height. Golden sunlight poured down through it all. The atmosphere was so majestic that even the Eris Church’s grand cathedral would look shabby by comparison.
And beyond that? A clear blue sky and clouds spread out like a carpet beneath my feet.
Clouds. On the floor.
No doubt about it. This wasn’t the human world.
“Welcome to my temple, Trixie.”
Trixie. The familiar voice called me by the nickname only people close to me used. I turned my head and saw the Goddess approaching with a warm wave. She wore a pure white dress woven from what looked like tightly packed particles of light, embroidered with intricate golden thread.
“Your temple? The Goddess’s temple?”
“That’s right.”
“…Isn’t that in the divine realm?”
“Correct.”
“Oh, shit. Did I drown in the bath or something?”
I vaguely remembered seeing news stories about people who fell asleep in bathtubs and never woke up. Surely that hadn’t happened to me?
“Hehe, of course not. I only called your consciousness here to the divine realm for a little while.”
“Is that even possible? I didn’t know living humans could come to the divine realm.”
“In principle, it’s impossible. But our Trixie is very special, isn’t she? A visit to the divine realm is a privilege granted only to children with souls strong and pure enough to withstand its energy. In other words, only the Pope and the Saintess.”
“Oh?”
I looked down at my body in wonder. Since she’d only summoned my consciousness, I’d expected to be some translucent ghost, but I felt exactly the same as I did on the ground. Appearance, senses—everything was identical.
…Though I had no idea why I was wearing the Holy Vestments.
“Of course, that would also be impossible without the thorough preparation of applying the sacred oils, burning the incense, and immersing yourself in holy water.”
“What happens if you come up without going through all that?”
“Your brain would overload and you’d become an imbecile. If your physical body had come along too, it would have burned away in the holy radiance until not even your soul remained—just a pile of ashes. Hehe, quite thrilling, isn’t it?”
“…Could you please not say such terrifying things with a smile?”
Taking a bath was apparently an incredibly dangerous activity. If it was that risky, someone could have given me a heads-up. Pope? Old man? Goddess?
But there was no point in complaining about something that had already happened, so I could only let out a small sigh.
“So, what do you think of your first visit to the divine realm?”
“It’s blinding. Isn’t it uncomfortable living here? It feels like it would be bright even at night.”
The scenery of the divine realm was certainly majestic and mystical, but everything was so overwhelmingly white and bright that I felt like I was losing my mind. If you lived here, wouldn’t blackout curtains and sunglasses be absolute necessities?
“You’re probably the first child to ever come to the divine realm and give that kind of impression.”
“The view is pretty, but the lighting is way too strong. I’d give it four stars.”
“…Out of how many?”
“Five.”
The Goddess looked utterly dumbfounded. Well, I suppose it was ridiculous for a mere mortal to be rating the divine realm.
The irreverent man who gives the divine realm star ratings—that’s me.
Anyway, I wanted to escape this mind-melting light pollution as quickly as possible, so I decided to stop trading pointless jokes and get to the point.
“Why did you call me here? You didn’t summon me for a divine realm sightseeing tour, right?”
At my question, the Goddess’s expression grew slightly serious.
“Because your body had been contaminated. I had my suspicions, but seeing you up close like this makes it certain.”
“Contaminated? My body?”
Contaminated? Could a Saintess’s body even get contaminated? Well, sure, if you let your guard down and got hit with every filthy thing imaginable, but I didn’t have any memories of that.
“Haven’t you faced quite a lot of demonic beasts under the Archdemon of Lust lately?”
“That’s true. For some reason, those particular demonic beasts have been swarming us more than usual these days.”
“Didn’t you notice anything strange about that?”
“I just figured it was because the Eris Church and Lust are mortal enemies. I thought that’s why they kept coming after us. And honestly, I was happy to reduce their numbers.”
I answered casually.
“Hehe, how admirable.”
“So what’s the problem with that?”
“The power demons use is called sorcery. And sorcery is always incredibly complex and difficult to understand.”
“Mm… yeah, that’s true.”
I’d faced sorcery a few times before. Higher-ranking demonic beasts and demons used this peculiar power called sorcery. Having fought them, I knew exactly how tricky and fucking annoying it was. So I nodded in agreement with the Goddess.
“And the sorcery used by that bitch Lilith is the most headache-inducing among all demons.”
“…?”
The sudden vulgar curse left me staring blankly at the Goddess. Bitch? Did that word really just come out of the mouth of the Goddess who always spoke so gently?
“Ahem. Surprised? I am, after all, the Goddess of Battle. Besides, I can hardly be expected to use polite language toward our Church’s greatest enemy, can I?”
“Still, I never expected you to use such rough words, Goddess.”
The Goddess looked at me with slight embarrassment. Seeing her like that, one hypothesis suddenly popped into my head.
“Oh? Maybe the reason my speech and personality are like this is because I take after you, Goddess?”
“………”
Ever since becoming the Saintess, I’d found it especially hard to control my temper and my mouth had gotten a lot filthier. If that was all because I took after the Goddess, it made perfect sense.
So I really hadn’t done anything wrong. The Goddess was the problem—
BAM—!
“Ack!”
While I was quietly reaching my own conclusions, something suddenly flashed in front of my eyes and stars exploded across my vision. I crouched down immediately, clutching the top of my head.
Now I finally understood why Leonid always reacted like that whenever he got a knuckle to the skull. It was just a natural human instinct.
“Owww… Why did you hit me all of a sudden?!”
“It seems you were having irreverent thoughts, so my hand moved on its own.”
“No, that’s completely unreasonable— Hehe, I suppose that could happen.”
When I saw the Goddess’s fist clench again, I laughed awkwardly and quickly changed the subject.
…This is so unfair. I’m against violence. Boo, bad Goddess, wake up.
As I grumbled internally, someone’s face suddenly came to mind.
…Leonid, so this is how you felt? From now on, I’ll try to be a little kinder to you.
“Anyway, what exactly did Lilith do to me?”
I rubbed my swollen crown and asked in a sullen voice.
“Lilith used the blood of the Lust-affiliated demonic beasts you were drenched in as a medium to activate her sorcery. To be precise, she used that sorcery to carve a certain curse into your body.”
“…What the hell? That’s possible?”
My eyes widened in shock at the Goddess’s words. Getting drenched in demonic beast blood in the Demon Realm was as common as eating breakfast. But to use that blood to cast a curse on me?
…Did that even make sense?
“For that woman, it’s more than possible. Rather than facing enemies head-on, she prefers to scheme from the shadows or use underhanded methods like tricky sorcery and curses.”
“…What kind of curse did she put on me?”
“Well, even I don’t know exactly. Lilith’s sorcery is so complex that even gods have trouble deciphering it.”
“Then isn’t there no way to break it?”
If even a god didn’t know, didn’t that mean there was no way to remove the curse on me? I didn’t know what kind of curse had been carved into my body, but it felt extremely ominous.
“Don’t worry too much. The curse Lilith placed on you was completely washed away during your bath.”
“Oh? That’s possible?”
“It is. For now, let me explain the basic principle of curse-breaking.”
“…I probably won’t understand it even if I hear it.”
“That’s true. Our Trixie isn’t exactly the brightest, after all.”
“Could you not admit that so easily? I’m smart, you know?”
…For some reason, that hurt my feelings. I just didn’t study. It wasn’t that I couldn’t.
“A curse can be thought of as mathematics.”
“Ah, my head already hurts.”
I hated math. I deliberately avoided the Goddess’s gaze, which was filled with exasperation.
“I’ll just give you the conclusion. Curse-breaking is reverse calculation.”
“Reverse calculation?”
“Yes. Imagine the number 8 is the final result of a curse. Could you tell what calculation produced that 8?”
“I don’t know. You can’t tell just from the result, can you?”
I tilted my head as I answered. Who could possibly figure out what kind of equation produced a random 8? It could be 2×4, or 1×8, or if you got really complicated, even 2+2×2. (It’s 6.)
“That’s why curse-breaking is so incredibly difficult. If you don’t follow the exact sequence, the cursed body will suffer a powerful backlash.”
“What kind of backlash?”
“That, I cannot say. We don’t know what might happen.”
“Oh my god.”
Listening to the Goddess, curse-breaking really did sound ridiculously complicated. And if it was a curse from an Archdemon like Lilith, it would be even worse.
“However, if the target’s life reaches the brink of death, the curse’s backlash won’t trigger. Because curses are made to harm living bodies. That’s why I kept your body fixed at death’s doorstep.”
“…Ah, I see.”
It was quite a brutish method. She’d put my body into a coma-like state in order to break the curse.
“That’s why you must always wear the Holy Vestments in the Demon Realm. Although a Saintess’s body has strong resistance to demonic energy, we can’t be sure it will hold up against the schemes of an Archdemon.”
“Ugh…”
I made a face of pure disgust at the Goddess’s words. I only wore the Holy Vestments during battle—and even then, only during truly dangerous fights. The reason was simple: as a man, my pride simply refused to let me walk around in such an embarrassing outfit.
Wait, wouldn’t even a woman find it hard to walk around in something that revealing?
“Don’t make that face. Didn’t your body almost fall victim to Lilith’s schemes? The Holy Vestments will perfectly protect you from such things.”
“Sigh… I guess I have no choice.”
I let out a small sigh in response.
…I really, really don’t want to wear that thing. But now I’ll have to wear it whether I like it or not.
“Looking at the form of the curse, it seems to be the type that only activates upon contact with other corrupt energies. If you simply stayed inside the temple, the curse would never have a chance to activate.”
No corrupt energy could enter the Church. If it was a curse that required contact with some other force to activate, then holing up in the temple would indeed prevent it from triggering.
That raised one question.
“Then couldn’t we have skipped the emergency bath?”
“Is our Trixie the kind of child who would stay put just because I told her to?”
“………”
I had nothing to say to that. Having my question so neatly resolved, I nodded silently.
“The important thing is that she carved a curse directly into a Saintess’s body. You must never let your guard down. Understood?”
“Yes. I’ll be careful.”
I accepted the Goddess’s words with a small sigh.
“Now that the urgent matter is taken care of, I feel much more at ease. We still have a little time left before you must return to the divine realm. Would you like to look around the temple with me?”
“Yes, I’d like that.”
It seemed the important business was finished. Although the brightness was a bit much, it felt like too rare an opportunity to pass up. I agreed to the temple tour.
As I followed behind the Goddess, I decided to bring up the extremely unsatisfactory design of the Holy Vestments.
“By the way, Goddess, couldn’t you change the design of the Holy Vestments a little?”
“No.”
Wow, that was decisive.
“Why not? Are you saying it’s fine if your Saintess dies of embarrassment?”
“Didn’t I already explain? Covering that body is a sin, and as the highest woman in the Church, Trixie must…”
The long, long lecture about ‘the aesthetics of exposure’ that I’d heard before continued. I listened with one ear and let it go out the other as I followed her, until my eyes landed on the Goddess’s own attire. And there, I discovered a very sharp contradiction.
“Goddess.”
“Yes?”
“You said I was the highest woman in the Church, but actually, aren’t you the highest woman in our Church?”
“That’s true.”
The dress the Goddess wore was buttoned all the way up to her neck. The sleeves covered the backs of her hands, and the hem was so long it swept the floor. The only skin showing was her face and fingertips.
“Then why are you covering yourself up so completely? Didn’t you say that the highest women must reveal their beauty?”
“……”
The Goddess flinched and stopped walking. After hesitating for a moment, her answer was…
“It would be embarrassing if I showed that much skin.”
…Excuse me, Goddess?
Her answer left me standing there with my mouth hanging open in disbelief.
“Then what about me?”
“Hm?”
“Isn’t it embarrassing for me?”
“Well…”
I’d suspected something was off ever since I received those Holy Vestments with their ridiculously perverted design, but this Goddess really—!
“Ahem. It’s time for you to return now. No matter how strong a Saintess’s soul is, staying in the divine realm for too long isn’t good…”
“Goddess?”
“There are children waiting for you to wake up…”
“Hey, Goddess? Could you listen to me for a second? How about we have a serious discussion about me and the design of my Holy Vestments? I thought you said we still had some time left.”
“It’s time to go back now.”
“You’re not listening to me at all.”
If you keep doing this, I’m going to turn into that middle-aged clown guy from that one movie and go full dark side, you know?
“Ah, right. There will be quite a bit of aftereffect from visiting the divine realm. Be prepared.”
With the Goddess’s final words, I heard the sharp snap of her fingers.
At the same time, I woke up in the underground bathhouse of the Eris Church.
“…What the.”
So dumbfounded I couldn’t even speak, I could only stare up at the bathhouse ceiling for a long time.