That Name Is Absolutely Not Allowed, Goddess!
I woke up to find that while I’d been unconscious, the Eris Church’s holy knights had dragged me all the way to the main headquarters in the Sectia Holy Empire. The filthy back alleys of the ‘Orphan Kingdom,’ with their bone-chilling cold and the stench of rot, were gone without a trace. Instead, I was greeted by a soft, warm cotton blanket that smelled faintly of flowers. My once-dull gray hair had regained its glossy silver sheen, and every speck of soot on my body had been scrubbed clean.
They’d dressed me in what looked like a child-sized nun’s habit. Every time I tried to put it on, I had no idea how the damn thing worked and needed the priests to help. Each time, the female priests would tear up and murmur things like, “Oh dear… how much must she have suffered to end up this thin?” But I never had the chance to answer them. Inside my head, two thoughts were slamming into each other at full force: ‘Should I run away right now?’ and ‘Maybe I should stick around just a little longer?’
Becoming the Saintess of the Eris Church meant stepping one foot closer to the miserable future that the original Beatrice was supposed to suffer. On top of that, this was the Sectia Holy Empire—the most powerful nation on the Lorencia continent, the frontline fortress standing against the Demon Realm to protect all of humanity. At the same time, because the main characters hung around here, disasters and incidents broke out every other day. And in the end, the country would be destroyed by demons in a truly pathetic finale.
In short, my current situation was no different from willingly crawling into a tiger’s den. Well, technically I hadn’t walked here on my own two feet, but still.
For the sake of my future, I should have escaped this place by any means necessary. But the meals provided by the temple and the comfortable bed were more than enough to shatter my will to run. Freshly baked soft bread and fragrant soup—things that couldn’t even be compared to the garbage I used to scavenge from the streets. The first time I put that food in my mouth, tears had streamed down my face. It was that delicious, and the life I’d lived until then felt so bitterly unfair.
Add to that nights where I didn’t have to shiver from the cold. A fluffy, cozy bed. Clean clothes that wrapped around my body instead of the itchy rags I used to wear. And the fact that I could fall into a deep, proper sleep instead of dozing off while staying alert to every little sound around me. All of these things combined, and before I knew it, the thought ‘I need to get out of here’ had changed into the lazy hope of ‘As long as I don’t become the Saintess, it should be fine, right?’
Anyway, if the empire fell, the entire continent getting devoured by demons was only a matter of time. So even if I ran far away, I probably wouldn’t last much longer. Once I added that pathetic rationalization on top, the comfort the church offered felt even sweeter.
That was how I ended up spending about a week at the church. After being neatly groomed and dressed in a tidy nun’s habit, I was guided somewhere. Waiting for me there was none other than the Pope of the Eris Church.
Since he was the Pope, I should at least show some respect…
“…Holy shit, what the hell. He’s fucking huge.”
My ambitious determination crumbled the moment I saw him, replaced by a raw, instinctive exclamation that slipped out unconsciously.
An elderly man with pure white hair tied back neatly and a splendid, well-groomed beard. Deep wrinkles from years of life etched his face, but the solid, muscular body that couldn’t be hidden even beneath his loose robes made him look less like a clergyman and more like a battle-hardened veteran who slaughtered demonic beasts on the front lines.
“What an interesting impression. Saintess.”
“Um… are you really the Pope? Not some guy who beats up demonic beasts for a living?”
“Hoho, I did that in my younger days. These days I’m just an old man who stays in the back room.”
…Yeah, I don’t buy that. No matter how I looked at it, that was a lie. If he flicked my tiny head just once with one of those massive fingers, it would definitely get crushed like a watermelon.
“And I’m not a Saintess. What kind of Saintess would someone like me even be?”
“That is for the Goddess to decide.”
Even after my irreverent words, the Pope simply smiled gently and rose from his seat. To my surprise, he personally guided me to the prayer room. It was a place that only the Pope and the Saintess were allowed to use, he said.
Contrary to my expectation that it would be incredibly ornate, the prayer room was small and modest.
“This is the prayer room. Please go inside. The Goddess is waiting for you.”
“……”
I took an unwilling step into the prayer room, then turned my head to look at the Pope.
“Hey, Grandpa.”
“…?”
The Pope looked slightly surprised by my words.
“What? Is there a problem?”
“Hoho, not at all. Grandpa… It’s just been so long since anyone called me that.”
“Should I just call you Pope instead?”
“Being called Grandpa is better. Doesn’t it feel warmer that way?”
Pope Grandpa winked as he answered. He was surprisingly good-natured for an old man.
“What am I supposed to do in here?”
“Just pray. Since the Goddess has called for the Saintess, she will answer right away.”
Having said that, Pope Grandpa slowly closed the door to the prayer room.
“I will wait outside.”
With those words, the door to the prayer room shut completely.
I had lived my entire life without religion, so I had never prayed before. I didn’t even know how prayer worked in this world.
“Umm… I guess I should still do something, right?”
It felt a bit awkward, but since I had seen people do it here and there, I politely knelt down and clasped my hands together.
At that exact moment, a brilliant light poured into the once-silent prayer room. The pure white radiance that filled my entire field of vision made me reflexively squeeze my eyes shut. By the time the light that had been stabbing my retinas gradually faded, I opened my eyes again.
On the simple altar prepared for offering prayers to God, a woman was sitting.
Black hair and white eyes. A beauty who radiated a dazzling charm while giving off an eerily dangerous aura.
“Welcome, my child.”
She smiled softly. In complete contrast to her chilling presence that took one’s breath away, the voice that flowed from her lips was incredibly warm and gentle.
“Uh, um… Are you the Goddess, by any chance?”
An overwhelming aura that made it hard to believe she was human. There was only one being who could appear in this prayer room accompanied by pure white light.
The Goddess of Love and Combat, Eris.
…She didn’t just send her voice—she actually descended in person?
I completely forgot my resolution to say I wouldn’t become the Saintess and simply stared at the Goddess with my mouth hanging wide open in a stupid expression.
“What a clever child. That is correct.”
“Uh… Can a god descend this easily?”
“It is not easy. But this is our first meeting with the Saintess of our church, so is it not only proper that I greet you in person? Of course, due to the restrictions, I won’t be able to talk for very long.”
Goddess Eris pouted her lips and grumbled in a slightly sulky voice. Maybe it was because of that brief, human-like gesture. Only then did I truly see her otherworldly appearance that had been veiled behind the massive curtain of divinity.
Hair like melted midnight sky and eyes that looked like they held embedded jewels. Even her slightly furrowed brows were elegant like a work of art.
Overwhelmed by the absolute beauty that only a god could possess, I unconsciously lost myself and stared blankly at her face.
‘Whoa… holy shit, she’s insanely beautiful.’
Her beauty was on a level where even the most celebrated celebrities couldn’t even hold up their business cards in comparison. I was so stunned that I couldn’t even utter a proper exclamation and could only swallow dryly.
But that admiration lasted only a moment. Deep in my brain, my survival instincts began blaring warning sirens at full volume.
Get a grip. Are you really going to let that face mortgage your entire life?
I shook my head violently to forcibly pull my dazed mind back together. Then, with a determined expression, I opened my mouth.
“Um, Goddess. Everything’s great and all, but……”
Despite my determination, I couldn’t help but trail off at the end. No matter what, saying “I don’t want to be the Saintess!” right in front of a goddess required far more courage than I had anticipated.
“Are you trying to tell me you don’t want to become the Saintess?”
“…Wait, can you read minds or something?”
Having had my thoughts seen through, I could only glance around like a kid caught playing a bad prank.
“When you’ve lived as long as I have, you can roughly understand what people are thinking even without a special power like mind reading.”
Goddess Eris said with a gentle smile.
“I will not force you to become the Saintess. A life that is forced upon you will eventually feel unhappy no matter how abundant it may be.”
“Huh?”
The Goddess’s words were completely different from what I had expected. I had been sure she would say something like, “You must become the Saintess no matter what, and that is something that cannot be defied,” or “How dare you defy a god’s command?”
“However, the predetermined fate will eventually lead you to the position of Saintess. Whether you want it or not.”
“Uh… Sorry to say this, but… that sounds kind of like a threat?”
“If that is how it sounded, then I cannot help it, but I have simply spoken the truth.”
Of course it was. I pouted and grumbled to myself. If what the Goddess said was true, then from the very beginning, something like a choice had never existed for me.
When I thought about it carefully, there really hadn’t been any choice. If I had never come near the church at all, maybe it would have been different, but the moment I set foot here, rumors that a “silver-haired, white-eyed Saintess candidate” had appeared must have spread like wildfire throughout the church.
If I packed my bags here and said, “I don’t want to be the Saintess!” and left, the church would never let me go peacefully. And even if they did, that would be a problem too. Prophetic dreams were a privilege of the Saintess. If I went out into the world without the church’s protection, I would be nothing more than delicious prey for those in power who coveted prophetic dreams and the demons who drooled over them.
‘…At this point, refusing is already impossible.’
It was a perfect checkmate.
Still, preparing for the one definite threat called ‘Cassian’ from inside the church was far more reasonable than leaving the church and fighting against all sorts of dangers out in the world. In the end, there was only one conclusion.
Rather than whining and putting off the position of Saintess, it would be better to accept it quickly and build up my strength. If I could obtain both the position of the church’s second-in-command and powerful strength, no one would be able to touch me easily.
“Alright. Fine, I’ll give it a shot. I’ll be the Saintess.”
“Puhuhu, that is a good choice. Still, do not be too upset. There are many special benefits given to the Saintess of our church. You will not regret coming to the Eris Church.”
The Goddess smiled softly and added, “If you must be the Saintess anyway, wouldn’t it be better to enjoy it?”
The Goddess’s smile was beautiful, but what entered my ears was the word ‘special benefits.’
“Benefits? What kind of benefits?”
Don’t call me materialistic. You’re supposed to take everything you can get.
“Freedom to date.”
“?”
“And freedom to marry as well. Since I am the Goddess of Love, marriage is something I bless above all else. In simple terms, it means you do not need to maintain lifelong chastity or live alone.”
“Excuse me, Goddess! I have zero intention of dating or marrying a man!”
Stunned by the completely unexpected benefit, I came back to my senses and shouted at the top of my lungs. Even though I had a woman’s body, my mind was still that of a man. Why the hell would I date or marry a guy!
“…Well, after seeing so many terrible things in the back alleys, it makes sense that you might dislike men.”
I had no idea what she was imagining, but the Goddess seemed to have jumped to her own conclusions and made a sad face.
I wanted to tell her that was absolutely not what I was thinking, but the Goddess spoke faster.
“Women are fine too, you know? While a man’s firm muscles are nice, a girl’s soft skin is also……”
“Hey! What are you saying to a kid!”
“Ah, I’m sorry. You seemed more mature than I thought, my child.”
Huhu. As I watched the Goddess cover her mouth and laugh, I trembled with indignation for a moment before quickly pulling myself together and getting straight to the main point.
“By any chance… can I become strong? Strong enough to smash through anything that stands in my way.”
“Oh my, it seems what our child wants is not to become strong as a Saintess, but as a ‘warrior’ who cuts off the heads of her enemies. Am I right?”
“Yes, that’s right. Sitting quietly in the back, praying, healing people, and giving buffs doesn’t suit my personality at all.”
In my previous life, I had never been the type to just take things lying down. I had zero intention of becoming a fragile flower that needed to be protected just because I was a Saintess.
Did she sense my true nature? The Goddess’s eyes sparkled with interest.
“What kind of goddess am I?”
“Huh?”
When I stupidly asked back at the sudden self-promotion question, the Goddess smiled faintly.
“I am the Goddess of Love, but I am also the Goddess of Combat. The children of our church are strong ones who will not hesitate to fight any battle if it is to protect what they love.”
“…Oh.”
“If you choose the path of a warrior, I will bless that path. And the talent sleeping within your body… you know it better than anyone, don’t you, my child?”
“Yes.”
That’s right. I had felt this body’s talent to the bone while living in the back alleys. No matter how many prophetic dreams I had, without the overwhelming physical ability to back them up, I would have been buried in some nameless pit long ago.
“By the way, child, what is your name? Now that you are the Saintess of our church, I cannot keep calling you ‘child’ forever.”
“I don’t have one. I was just called the damn gray brat or something like that.”
There was no way an orphan like me would have a name. Even if I did, I couldn’t remember it. Of course I had a name from my previous life… but it didn’t suit this place.
“…Oh dear, how pitiful.”
The Goddess made a sympathetic face and gently stroked my head.
“Then I shall give you a name myself.”
“Heh…”
The Goddess’s touch was so warm and gentle that I unconsciously let out a satisfied little sound like a puppy and enjoyed the warmth.
But what name should I ask for? If possible, something a bit manly and cool would be nice.
“Your name shall be Beatrice. It is a name that carries the meaning of ‘blessed existence.’”
“…What? Wait a second!”
But my calm pondering was shattered by the Goddess’s next words. No, why would you suddenly give me that name?! It’s the exact same as the original!
Before I could say anything, the Goddess’s form turned into light and disappeared.
I blinked and stared at the altar.
“…You won’t change the name if I ask, will you?”
And so, my life as Beatrice began.