The Warmth of This Anxiety (3) — A Night Wanting to Be Close
Ria could not sleep.
The warmth of the herbal medicine still lingered somewhere below her throat.
The towel on her forehead had grown lukewarm, and the heat deep inside her body would not easily subside. Closing her eyes only made everything sharper.
The weight of the blanket.
The edge of the damp cloth.
The Hero’s presence, shifting ever so slightly beside the bed.
He was holding an empty cup.
Just before the cup could settle onto the wooden surface of the nightstand, his wrist paused for a moment.
His gaze went first to Ria, who lay with her eyes open.
“Can’t sleep?”
Her lips parted a little.
Her hand moved before any words could form, slipping out from under the blanket.
Just as the Hero began to rise with the cup still in hand, her fingertips brushed the hem of his T-shirt.
The fabric slipped easily between her fingers.
The strength that would normally have held on arrived late at her fingertips today.
Ria swallowed once and reached out again.
This time the hem of the T-shirt caught between her fingers.
The lightly gripped fabric crumpled softly.
The cup was set down on the nightstand.
Glass met wood with a quiet sound.
Only then did Ria look up at him.
“Please hold me.”
Her voice was a little hoarse.
The Hero sat on the edge of the bed.
As he drew closer, the T-shirt hem that had been caught on her fingertips slid down a little.
Ria’s fingers curled again.
The crumpled fabric folded small in her palm.
“Ria.”
When he spoke her name, she drew her other hand out from under the blanket.
Her fingertips fumbled for the buttons of her pajamas.
The first button slipped once under her touch, and a sharp sting inside her throat made her breath catch short.
The Hero’s hand rose briefly, then stopped in front of her fingertips.
Ria shook her head ever so slightly and touched the button again.
Thumb and forefinger took hold of it once more.
Her faintly trembling fingertips slowly pushed the button free of its hole.
One.
She steadied her breath for a moment, then the next.
The top loosened and fell open.
At the third button her fingertips stiffened briefly.
The air of the room touched her through the open pajamas.
Ria looked at the Hero just like that.
The Hero’s breathing lowered a little.
His gaze lingered between the open pajamas, then rose again to her face.
He drew closer.
At a distance where their lips might meet, Ria’s hands rose first.
Her fingertips brushed his cheek and came to rest beside his damp hair.
“You’ll catch a cold.”
A wet breath clung to the end of the words.
Just before their lips could touch, her fingertips pressed lightly against the side of his head.
The Hero’s face followed that pressure a little downward.
Through the open pajamas, his breath descended.
Warm breath touched her damp chest.
Then his lips brushed briefly near her nipple. When the tip of his tongue passed low over the moist skin, Ria’s fingers curled slightly in his hair.
His other hand cupped her other breast.
“Ah…….”
Her breath broke short.
The Hero immediately eased the pressure he had been holding. His lips softly encircled the edge of her areola and then left it; the tip of his tongue swept low across the damp flesh of her breast.
Ria’s fingertips sank deeper into his hair.
The fingers that had just curled slowly loosened. When they worked their way between the strands again, they trembled a little less.
The Hero’s tongue touched her once more.
When the tip brushed her nipple, her breath caught short in her throat. Her waist lifted ever so slightly, then settled back onto the bed at once.
His hand, still cupping her other breast, pressed a little deeper.
Ria’s shoulders stiffened first.
Her breath snagged briefly in her throat.
“A little…… strong. Just a little softer, please.”
She closed her eyes and gripped his hair more tightly.
“Okay.”
The strength left the hand that held her breast.
The pressure that had gathered at his fingertips spread low across his entire palm. In place of the gripping force, a broad warmth remained that simply supported her damp skin.
His lips touched her nipple briefly, then lingered a little longer this time.
Only then did Ria exhale.
This breath stretched a little longer.
The Hero’s tongue touched her again.
The tip did not press at once but passed slowly around her nipple. Each time the low circling motion through the moisture came near the peak, her fingertips curled and then loosened inside his hair.
She pressed lightly at the nape of his neck.
The Hero’s breath laughed low against her damp chest.
“Like this?”
Instead of answering, Ria pushed her fingers deeper into his hair.
The force was weak, but the direction was clear.
The Hero’s face lowered close to her breast again.
This time his lips took her nipple a little more deeply.
“Ah…….”
Ria swallowed a short breath, and in that same moment the Hero’s fingertips stiffened briefly on her breast before easing their strength and cupping her again.
At that small falter, her hand pressed a little harder at his nape.
His breath scattered lower across her chest.
The tip of his tongue passed over her nipple; his lips softly enclosed the place afterward.
His palm gathered her breast gently from the side and then released it.
At that slow pressure her breath trembled short in her throat.
The fever made her short of breath easily.
Even so, each time the Hero’s lips drew away, the fingertips caught in his hair pulled him back again, little by little.
The strength was weak.
But her fingertips called him back to the same place every time.
“Ria.”
His voice resonated low near her chest.
Instead of answering, she pressed his head once more with her fingertips.
The Hero swallowed a breath.
That reaction traveled across her chest.
Ria’s eyelids slowly lowered.
The other hand that had been gripping the blanket loosened.
Her hand came slowly down from his hair.
It passed the nape of his neck, touched his shoulder, then groped again across the front of his chest.
The Hero’s breath broke low against her breast.
Ria’s fingertips reached the line of his waist.
His head started to lift, then stopped.
Without meeting his gaze for long, she put the slightest pressure into her fingertips and traced the waistline downward.
The hard outline beneath his pants met her fingertips.
The firmness under the fabric pushed briefly against her touch.
Ria swallowed a breath and lowered her fingertips below the waistline.
As the front of his pants slowly opened, the hard column that had been pressed by the cloth revealed itself toward her palm.
The Hero’s breath broke short.
Ria’s fingertips stiffened for a moment as well.
Soon she swallowed again and wrapped her fingers once more around the shaft.
When her palm enclosed the base, a hard heat pulsed briefly in her hand.
The first movement was small.
A soft stroke.
Her palm swept briefly upward from the base.
Coming back down, the strength eased a little, and her wrist slowed to match her painful breathing.
The Hero’s abdomen tightened.
His breath broke low, and the fingertips that had been cupping her breast stiffened briefly as well.
Ria followed that reaction and moved her wrist small again.
The shaft she held rose and fell slowly inside her palm.
The wet tip brushed beneath her thumb.
A soft sound.
When the slick moisture beaded at the tip spread thinly into her palm, the Hero’s abdomen tightened short.
“Ria…….”
The end of the low call trembled.
Each time the hardness in her palm moved, it touched her more hotly.
Just as she tried to stroke upward once more, her wrist shook first.
Strength left her arm, and her breath caught in her throat.
The hardness in her hand was still hot, and her fingers wanted to keep moving, but her elbow settled onto the blanket first.
“I wanted to…… do other things for you too.”
Her hand slowed for a moment.
Her gaze dropped downward.
Her lips parted a little, but the sting inside her throat rose first.
The hardness in her palm was still hot, and the strength that had gathered in her arm loosened onto the blanket.
“It’s a little hard.”
After she spoke, her face grew even hotter.
The Hero lowered his body a little.
So that she would not have to lift her arm high, his waist came down close to her hand.
When her elbow rested on the blanket, the trembling in her wrist eased a little.
Her palm enclosed the base more comfortably, and her thumb passed slowly beneath the wet tip.
A soft stroke.
The Hero’s breath broke low.
At that reaction her lips parted ever so slightly.
Her breath caught in her throat.
Instead, her hand moved once more.
The Hero’s lips touched her nipple again.
Her palm moved slowly while still holding the base, and his tongue passed briefly over her nipple.
Their breaths trembled at the same time.
Ria’s hand slowed again.
Her wrist shook small, and the motion of her palm lowered.
The Hero’s hand slipped beneath the back of hers.
When he adjusted the angle so her wrist would not bend, her palm rose more comfortably from the base to the tip.
A soft stroke.
When the slick moisture beneath the tip met her thumb, the Hero’s breath trembled low.
Ria’s elbow pressed into the blanket.
Once her wrist eased a little, her hand moved slowly again.
The Hero’s breath collapsed low.
Hearing that breath, Ria slowly loosened the strength in her fingers.
His hand slipped free from the back of hers.
He lowered his head close to her breast again.
A wet warmth remained on the nipple his tongue had passed over.
This time his lips enclosed that place a little longer.
Ria’s waist lifted ever so slightly, then lost strength to the fever and settled at once.
The Hero’s hand moved down below her breast.
His palm touched her stomach.
Her belly tightened a little.
Before his hand could descend to her waist, Ria first released the hand that had been gripping the blanket.
She drew in a breath.
Exhaled slowly.
The tension across her stomach loosened a little late.
Then his hand went down to her waist.
Ria closed her eyes and opened them again.
The Hero’s hand touched the waistband of her pants.
She lifted her hips ever so slightly.
Even that alone made her breath grow short.
The Hero’s forehead brushed briefly near her stomach.
He swallowed a low breath.
His hand waited, loosely holding the waistband.
“Slowly.”
The end of the word sank low.
Ria tried to smile small, but her throat stung, so only breath slipped out.
“Hero?”
Instead of answering, he pressed his lips briefly to her stomach.
And then the pants came down.
When the fabric passed her hips and descended over her thighs, her breath grew short again.
“Just a moment.”
The Hero’s hand eased its strength on her thighs.
Ria held his shoulder and steadied her breathing.
The strength that had gone into her knees came a little late.
Only then did the fabric descend again.
Halfway down her thighs the pants caught once.
She moved her toes a little.
The fabric shifted slightly.
At the end she pushed the pants off with her toes.
The cloth fell beneath the bed.
The air of the room touched her bare legs.
Ria swallowed a breath.
The Hero’s hand returned over her thighs.
When his palm touched her first, her gaze followed that hand.
His gaze wavered briefly over her legs.
Ria’s hand gripped his arm a little deeper.
The Hero’s hand stroked her thigh slowly.
From near the knee upward along the thigh.
Then a little downward again.
She kept becoming aware of the strength trying to enter her legs.
The more she tried to relax them, the more awkward it felt.
Her hand found his arm first.
Once she held that arm, her breath trembled a little less.
His hand touched the edge of her underwear.
Ria’s fingertips gripped his arm more deeply.
The Hero looked down at her hand once.
Then he brought his face a little closer and buried his lips against her breast again.
Her breath shook hard.
In that interval the underwear slid down a little.
The fabric brushed her damp skin as it pushed over her thighs.
Her waist rose briefly.
Soon the strength left and she touched the bed again.
The underwear had come down below her thighs.
The Hero’s hand followed the fabric downward.
When she pointed her toes small, the last of the underwear slipped past her ankles.
A thin thread of wetness followed between the cloth and her body, then broke.
Even that brief trace made Ria’s face flush, and the Hero’s fingertips stiffened for a moment on her thigh.
The air of the room touched bare skin.
Her hand gripped his arm more deeply.
His hand came back up over her thigh.
His palm cupped the inner thigh broadly.
His fingertips slowed as if stopping near the damp place, then moved a little farther inward following the strength of her arm.
Ria did not close her eyes.
The Hero’s fingers moved ever so slightly.
“Ah…….”
A small sound mixed into the end of her breath.
Her hand gripped the inside of his arm again.
Following that force, his fingertips drew closer between her legs.
She swallowed a breath.
When his fingertips touched near the wet place, her body flinched first.
Slick moisture clung to his fingertips.
A soft glide.
When his fingertips passed shallowly along the wet edge, her waist lifted ever so slightly and then settled back onto the blanket.
Strength entered her knees.
The Hero’s palm touched her a little more broadly.
She put more strength into the hand holding his arm.
Her fingertips pushed outward ever so slightly.
Just a little.
Slowly.
The moment his fingertips brushed near the most sensitive place, her breath broke short.
“There…… just a little.”
Her voice was almost pure breath.
The Hero’s wrist faltered under her hand.
She pushed his wrist a little to the side.
It was the direction of a single fingertip.
His fingertips changed by that much.
The pressure that had been pressing directly shifted aside, and his fingertips passed only slowly along the wet edge.
Her breath connected again.
This time it was a little longer.
His fingertips did not press the bud directly but circled shallowly over the wet flesh beside it.
Her breath continued once more.
Only then did his fingertips descend slowly near the wet entrance.
A soft sound.
The slickness near the entrance followed onto his fingertips.
The inner side of her thighs trembled small.
The Hero’s gaze rose to her face.
Ria swallowed a breath and wrapped the inside of his arm a little more.
“A little…… lower.”
Her voice was small, but the direction was clear.
His fingertips descended to match the words.
When they passed slowly along the edge of the wet entrance, her lips parted quietly.
The fever made her body lose strength easily, yet the wetness between her legs was growing a little hotter.
Without withdrawing his hand, the Hero slowly lowered his body.
Ria’s fingertips entered his hair again.
The force was weak, but this time it pointed downward.
He followed that force and went lower.
His breath arrived first.
Hot breath scattered low over the wet flesh.
Her thighs trembled small.
The tip of the Hero’s tongue touched near the wet entrance.
A soft glide.
The wet flesh opened slowly beneath the tip of his tongue.
Her fingertips gripped his hair more deeply.
A soft sound.
When his lips touched the wet edge low and then left it, her waist lifted ever so slightly.
“Ah…….”
The sound caught in her throat and flowed out a little late.
The Hero’s tongue rose around the bud, then immediately eased the pressure and shifted aside.
Her breath broke short and then continued again.
“There…… feels good. Slowly…….”
At those words his lips enclosed the wet edge more lowly.
A soft suck.
The wet flesh was drawn briefly into his lips and then released.
The inner side of her legs grew wetter and hotter.
She put strength into the hand gripping the blanket.
The fever made her arms give out quickly, yet each time the Hero’s tongue touched near the wet entrance, the inner side of her thighs trembled first.
The tip of his tongue descended along the wet entrance.
When it touched the inner flesh ever so shallowly, her thighs trembled small.
A soft glide.
Without going deep at once, the tip of his tongue rose again along the edge of the entrance.
Wet breath scattered low between her legs.
Her fingertips moved weakly inside his hair.
A little lower.
Then to the side again.
The tip of the Hero’s tongue followed that small direction from the bud down to the wet edge.
A soft sound.
His lips enclosed the wet flesh low and then released it.
Her breath trembled once more.
Through her blurring vision she looked at the Hero’s shoulder.
Each time he tried to add more strength, the fingertips gripping his hair changed direction ever so slightly.
The tip of his tongue followed that signal and eased the pressure.
From around the bud to the side.
From the wet edge downward.
Near the entrance again.
The longer the caress continued, the hotter the wetness between her legs grew.
Her aching body was heavy, and strength did not last long in her fingertips.
Yet between her legs she was growing wetter and wetter.
Each time the Hero’s tongue drew near, the wet entrance flinched first, and the inner side of her thighs trembled with a heat different from the fever.
“Hero…….”
Ria’s voice flowed out small.
He lifted his face.
His lips were wet, and his breath was low and disordered.
He looked at her face.
The towel on her forehead had been pushed to one side, and her silver hair clung to her cheeks from sweat and heat.
Ria steadied her breath and took hold of his arm.
Words did not come at once.
Instead her fingertips wrapped the inside of his arm more deeply.
The Hero looked down at that hand.
Her legs had settled without strength onto the blanket, yet her fingertips did not push him away. Rather, they pulled him a little closer.
Seeing that small force, his breath trembled low.
He carefully lifted away the towel that had been pushed up on her forehead.
The damp cloth was moved to the side of the nightstand.
His hand stroked her cheek.
Ria rested her face ever so slightly against the back of that hand.
For a moment their breathing continued.
Even in that interval the wetness between her legs did not cool. Each time the Hero’s breath drew near, the wet entrance tightened small first.
He pulled another pillow from beside the bed.
He slipped his hand beneath her waist and pushed the pillow in low.
When her hips rose a little, the space between her legs opened more comfortably.
Her fingertips wrapped the inside of his arm again.
His hand descended to the inner side of her knee.
His palm carefully cupped and lifted her leg.
Her legs, resting against his hands, opened a little more.
The wetness between them had already spread hot.
Holding his arm, Ria drew in a short breath.
“Come…… slowly, please.”
The Hero’s breath trembled low.
Instead of answering, he cupped the inner side of her knee even more carefully and lifted it.
