The Voice Beyond the Screen
The house was quieter in the afternoon than it had been that morning.
The Saintess closed the textbook on the table and drew one more small star in the margin of her notebook.
Beneath the line she had left blank yesterday, a short note was now attached.
It was still difficult.
But at least she could leave marks where she got stuck.
On the phone screen floated a message from the Hero.
I'll contact you right after the last class ends.
I'll go wash up.
After sending it, the Saintess cleared the table. She laid the pencil neatly atop the notebook, slipped a bookmark into the textbook, washed the cup and shook off the water, then swept the eraser dust from the island counter into her palm and threw it away.
Between the hum of the refrigerator and the sound of cars outside the window, the phone lay quietly on the table.
The Saintess stepped into the bathroom.
Warm water ran down her hair and over her shoulders. The tension of sitting at the table all day drained from her body. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the water.
On the table remained the letters she had written that day, the water marks from the reheated lunch, and the short messages, one after another.
After finishing her shower, the Saintess stood in front of the bathroom wearing only a pair of white panties.
Her wet silver hair clung to her shoulders and back, and the towel she had wrapped around her head was still in her hand. The dress hung over the back of a chair.
The Hero had said he would be late today.
She took her time, pressing the moisture from the ends of her hair.
From the living room, the phone rang.
The Saintess lifted her head, towel still wrapped around her hair.
The Hero’s name lit up on the screen.
Hero.
Her face brightened on reflex.
“Already finished?”
She walked carefully on wet tiptoes over to the table.
A different indicator than a normal call was showing on the screen.
But her fingertip was already over the green button.
Hero.
That name came first.
She pressed the button.
“Hello?”
The screen lit up.
The Saintess propped the phone on the small stand on the table and adjusted the towel on her head again.
“Hero? Are you done with class?”
A very brief silence came from the other side of the phone.
It lasted longer than usual.
She tilted her head.
“Hero?”
The Hero was not visible on the screen. Instead, an unfamiliar ceiling and something like the edge of a desk wobbled into view. Then his voice arrived a little late.
“Ria.”
“Yes?”
“Uh… the screen’s on.”
She blinked.
“The screen?”
“Yeah.”
His voice dropped lower.
“Right now. Perfectly clear.”
Only then did the Saintess look properly at the phone screen.
In the center of the small display was herself.
Wet hair.
The hand holding the towel.
Bare shoulders and collarbones still beaded with water droplets.
The unconcealed curve of her chest and the white skin where wet strands of hair had spilled down.
While she held her breath, the phone tilted in her hand.
Her waist, lower abdomen, and even the white panties came into the bottom of the frame.
Her face flushed crimson in an instant.
“W-wait a moment!”
She yanked the towel she had been holding down in a hurry. The towel that had been drying her hair covered the front of her chest. But it was already damp from her wet hair, and it kept trying to slip when held with only one hand.
The damp towel clung to her chest.
Rather than fully covering her, it pressed the lines of her body into view beneath the wet cloth, and she grew even more flustered, tugging the edge of the towel higher.
One hand clutching the towel, the other reaching to turn off the phone—then she stopped.
Her fingertip came close to the screen and halted. Pressing the wrong thing would only make the view more awkward.
On the screen, the Hero’s camera had already turned sideways. Only a notebook and pencil case on the desk, and one corner of the lecture materials, were visible.
“I’ll look at the desk.”
He said.
The Saintess stood frozen, arms wrapped around the towel.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Really.”
“You’re not looking even a little?”
“Right now I’m only looking at the notebook.”
Truly, only the notebook remained on the screen. The tip of a pen, a crumpled printout, and the edge of the desk.
She stood there blankly, still hugging the towel, then finally let out a small breath.
It was less shame than sheer disbelief.
Until a moment ago she had been alone at home drying her hair; the next moment, instead of the Hero, only a notebook and pencil case were tilted into the frame.
With a face bright red, she hugged the towel even tighter.
“I… I’ll go put on clothes.”
“Okay. Take your time.”
“You mustn’t look.”
“I told you I’m looking at the desk.”
“Don’t trust the desk too much either.”
He couldn’t answer and gave a short laugh.
At that laugh her face grew even redder. Still, the corners of her mouth loosened just a little.
Leaving the phone where it was, she hurried into the room.
She pulled the pale beige sleeveless dress from the hanger. Her wet hair was cold against her shoulders, and her fingers lost their grip on the hem once. She briefly mixed up the front and back of the dress, turned it around again, and properly settled the shoulder straps.
Without even a glance in the mirror she started back toward the table, then stopped.
She took one steadying breath.
Then she roughly smoothed her hair with her hands. Silver strands still damp spilled over her shoulders. Her cheeks were still flushed, and one shoulder strap of the dress was slightly crooked.
She fixed it with her fingertips and sat down in front of the phone again.
Only the notebook was still showing on the screen.
She took another breath and spoke.
“You can… look now.”
His voice returned at once.
“Really?”
“Yes. This time I’m dressed.”
Only then did the screen slowly move.
The edge of the desk and the notebook passed by, and the front of the Hero’s shirt and part of his shoulder came into view.
His face still had not entered the frame.
The camera shook once, and his voice drew closer.
“You were really startled, weren’t you.”
She pursed her lips slightly.
On the screen only his shoulder was visible.
His face was not.
Instead his voice was lower and more careful than usual.
She toyed with the ends of her wet hair between her fingers, then said very softly,
“I was startled.”
“Yeah.”
“But…”
She stopped. Her cheeks heated again. This time, though, she did not lower her head.
“You saw a lot last night too.”
The other side of the screen went quiet.
It was a different silence from before.
As it stretched, her fingertips tightly gripped the hem of her dress.
But she did not bow her head.
Only after a long while did he answer.
“Ria.”
“Yes.”
“If you say it like that right now… I really don’t know where I’m supposed to look.”
She could no longer hold it in and laughed.
“That’s why you looked at the notebook.”
“Yeah. And I never knew a notebook could be such a grateful object.”
“Did you really only look at the notebook?”
“The whole time.”
“Even while I was gone?”
“Until you came back.”
She lightly covered her lips with the back of her hand.
Still, laughter kept slipping out.
“That’s a little… funny.”
“I was pretty desperate, though.”
“Then did you study the notebook well?”
“I think I looked at it longer than today’s lecture material.”
This time she laughed properly.
A single droplet fell from the tip of her wet hair onto the shoulder of her dress. She wiped the moisture away with her finger.
On the screen the Hero’s face still was not fully visible.
Embarrassment still lingered at the end of his voice.
She drew the phone a little closer.
“So this was a video call?”
“Yeah. A call where you can see each other’s faces.”
“I thought it was just a regular phone call.”
“The icon is a little different, but it’s easy to mix up the first time.”
“You should have told me from the start.”
When she spoke with a slight note of reproach, he answered in a flustered voice.
“I didn’t think you’d pick up right away either. I was about to send a message and must have pressed the wrong thing.”
Her fingertip traced the edge of the sky-blue case.
“Then we both pressed the wrong thing.”
“Pretty much.”
A brief quiet settled.
Around the table the traces of a moment ago still remained one by one.
The damp towel.
The hastily put-on dress.
The notebook that had been hiding from her on the other side of the screen.
She set the towel down on the chair beside her. The damp cloth folded quietly. The dress was a little wrinkled from being put on in a rush, and her hair was still not fully dry.
The seat across the table was empty, and the Hero’s voice continued from the phone.
She touched the sky-blue edge of the phone case with her fingertip.
“But.”
“Yeah.”
“Talking while looking at each other’s faces like this… I like it.”
He was silent for a moment.
This silence stretched a little more gently than the earlier ones.
“Me too.”
The corners of her mouth lifted slightly.
“I was startled earlier, though.”
“I was really startled too.”
“You were more startled, Hero.”
“I can’t deny that.”
She leaned forward a little. The front of his shirt and his shoulder grew larger on the screen. His face still was not visible, but his voice alone was close enough.
Far away, yet near.
No one sat across the table, yet the Hero’s voice sounded right in front of her.
“Hero.”
“Yeah?”
“Where are you right now?”
“School. An empty lecture hall.”
“Then you still have a ways to go before you get home.”
“It’ll take a little while.”
The light from outside the window lay long across the living-room floor. The day that had begun that morning was already sloping toward evening.
“Then can we stay on the call a little longer until you get home?”
His answer came quickly.
“Yeah. I’d like that.”
She set the phone more securely on the table. When the screen wobbled slightly, she heard him laugh.
“A stand would make it easier.”
“I’ll buy one tomorrow.”
“A phone stand?”
“Yes. Today I’ll just hold it with my hand.”
She held the phone with one hand and carefully pushed her wet hair back without the towel with the other.
He said,
“Your hair’s still wet.”
She paused for the briefest moment at those words. Then she shot a sidelong glance toward the screen.
“Then don’t just say it—when you get home, dry it for me.”
He went quiet.
She realized what she had said a beat late and flushed, but this time she did not take the words back.
From the other side of the screen he laughed softly.
“Okay. I’ll dry it for you.”
At that answer she could not hide the curve of her lips.
For a while the two of them talked about nothing important.
What had come up in class that day.
Which problem she had gotten stuck on in the afternoon.
Whether lunch had reheated better than yesterday.
Whether the microwave buttons were starting to feel a little familiar.
In the middle of the conversation the screen would shake. Because she was holding it by hand. Then he would say, “A little to the left,” and she would move the phone, asking, “Like this?”
Once she brought it too close and only her eyes filled the screen in a huge close-up.
He burst out laughing.
“Ria, too close.”
“Ah.”
She looked at the screen and laughed too.
Her own face inside the phone felt less strange than when she had taken her first selfie yesterday.
Wet hair and flushed cheeks, even the slightly crooked dress strap—all of it was inside the frame.
This time she did not cover the screen.
A moment ago far too much had been visible, and now her hair and the strap were still messy. Yet he had waited looking at the notebook, turned the screen back, and was now continuing ordinary conversation as if nothing had happened.
She set the phone down on the table and propped it with both hands.
“Hero.”
“Yeah.”
“Next time I’ll call first.”
“A video call?”
“Yes. This time it was a mistake, but… next time properly.”
She closed her lips for a moment after saying that much.
A droplet still fell from the tip of her wet hair onto the dress. She rubbed the spot with her fingertip, then lowered her gaze beneath the screen.
“And… what you saw earlier.”
“Yeah.”
“Is void.”
“Void?”
“Because I answered thinking it was a regular call.”
The other side of the screen went quiet.
“Then do I need to see it again?”
The tips of her ears turned red.
The answer did not come at once. Instead strength gathered in the fingertips gripping the hem of her dress.
“That…”
Her voice grew gradually smaller.
“Not the screen.”
His breath caught for a moment over the speaker.
She added almost in a whisper,
“You can see it in person at night.”
“Ria.”
“…Yes.”
His shoulder on the screen went rigid.
A very short silence passed. He drew in a breath as if to answer, then could not speak right away. Only his shoulder and the front of his shirt were still visible, but she heard the sound of him adjusting his posture a little.
She gripped the hem of her dress tighter and swallowed a laugh.
“That was a foul.”
She smiled small with her head lowered.
“Penalty for only looking at the notebook.”
He could not answer for a while. His shoulder on the screen moved just a fraction. Whether he was laughing or steadying his breath, she could not tell.
The tips of her ears grew even hotter.
Still, a smile remained at the corners of her mouth.
She toyed with the hem of her dress, then finally laughed softly.
What sounded like distant footsteps came from the hallway outside the front door.
He said,
“I’m heading out now. Want to switch to voice while I walk?”
His shoulder was still on the screen.
She felt a brief pang of regret.
But she soon nodded.
“Yes. When you get home we can see each other’s faces again.”
“Yeah. I’ll be there soon.”
“Have a safe… no, come carefully.”
“Okay. See you in a bit.”
When the call switched to voice, the screen went dark.
But the voice continued.
With the screen off, only the sound of breathing remained closer.
When she closed her eyes, his breath came even more clearly.
She sat in the table chair with the phone in her hand.
Afraid her own breathing might be heard too, she closed her lips for a moment.
“Ria?”
His voice sounded right beside her ear.
“Yes.”
The answer came out a little small.
“Still embarrassed?”
Only her fingers showed faintly against the darkened screen.
“A little.”
After speaking, she lightly brushed the edge of the phone with her fingertip.
“But with the screen off… your voice feels closer.”
He was quiet for a moment on the other side.
“Same for me.”
That voice was a little lower too.
They said nothing for a while.
Inside the quiet house the thin thread of breath from the phone continued. Outside the window the sound of a passing car came from far away, and from the towel on the table a faint damp scent still rose.
She drew the phone a little closer into her arms.
The Hero who had been on the screen a moment ago was now only a voice.
The screen had gone dark, but the voice continued.
“Hero.”
“Yeah.”
“Can I keep talking the whole time you’re walking?”
“Yeah. Keep talking to me.”
The light from outside the window lay long across the living-room floor.
With her face still warm, she adjusted her grip on the phone.
Still, she did not end the call.
She said softly,
“Tomorrow I’ll call first.”
His voice laughed from the other side of the phone.
“Okay. I’ll be waiting, Ria.”
The towel on the table was still wet. The shoulder of her dress was not fully dry either, and moisture remained at the ends of her hair.
She pressed the phone screen once.
Against the darkened display her own fingertip was reflected.
The very same fingertip that had pressed the wrong button a little while ago.