Take a Beating, You Fucker

The world has ended.

It was because the hero fucking croaked.

Our party, formed around the hero, was humanity's hope.

The people of the world believed that we would definitely defeat the Demon King.

I thought so too.

Until the hero fucking croaked.

No.

Until every single member of the hero party, except for me, fucking croaked.

Leon, the hero who was chosen by the Holy Sword despite being an orphan.

The hero, who should have been the most noble person in the world, indulged in lust, spent a passionate night with a succubus, and fucking died of erotic exhaustion.

After that, the Holy Sword lost its light and was stolen.

Elena, the wizard who was said to have learned magic directly from dragons.

After witnessing the hero's death, she fell into despair and languished before ultimately failing to control her own magic, going on a rampage, and fucking croaking.

Afterward, the dragons betrayed humanity.

Nirsia, the legendary dark elf thief whom no one could ever catch.

While drowning in gambling debt, she messed with a mimic, got eaten, and fucking died.

I buried her half-eaten corpse myself.

Along with the stolen Holy Sword.

This bitch was the Holy Sword thief.

And me.

Ian, the saint chosen by God.

I was the sole survivor of the hero party.

I held the hero's funeral, and I was the one who cleaned up the magic Elena caused to go on a rampage.

On top of that, I even paid off the dead Nirsia's gambling debt in her place.

Looking back, I wasn't a saint; I was just the hero party's cleanup guy.

"You fucking bastards."

But everyone else was dead except me, so what the hell could I do?

All I could do was look up at the sky and spit out profanities.

"What a fucking perfect day to die."

The sky was shattered as if someone had swung a fist at it, and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the ground was covered in ashes.

However, there was one bastard interrupting my lonely end.

One of the Four Great Evils, who received power from the Demon King such that no one could inflict a proper wound on them unless they were the hero.

One of them was looking down at me from high up in the sky.

A gloomy bastard with a hundred eyeballs.

I pondered those words and furrowed my brow.

"What the fuck are you looking at? Close your damn eyes. Is this your first time seeing someone fucking die?"

[Saint. Why are you not the hero?]

"What?"

I tilted my head at the creature's incomprehensible words.

What kind of bullshit is that?

Isn't it obvious?

"I'm not because I don't have the Holy Sword. Are you mocking me?"

I tried to raise my left hand, but realized too late that my left arm was gone.

Instead, I raised my right hand and flipped the bastard off.

"If I were the hero, you motherfuckers would've all been dead long ago."

[That is why I am asking.]

Its gaze swept over my body.

[Why did the Holy Sword not choose you?]

"How the fuck should I know?"

The Holy Sword chose Leon.

There was no need for understanding, questions, or anything like that.

That was just how it was.

[You are strong.]

Its voice resounded through the sky.

[Even without the power of the hero, you killed one of us.]

"That bastard?"

I pointed my middle finger toward the corpse buried in the ashes.

"He was a total pushover."

Of course, in exchange for killing him, I lost my left arm and most of my internal organs.

I'd probably die soon.

Still, considering it was the price for the life of one of the Four Great Evils, it was quite a cheap trade.

[You were chosen by the wrong god.]

It slowly extended its hand.

[Believe in our god.]

Beyond the cracked sky, a black, formless entity squirmed.

Just looking at it was enough to make my stomach turn.

[Apostatize.]

Apostasy.

It meant betraying the god I served to believe in theirs.

The problem was, I didn't particularly believe in God anyway.

Even so, my answer was already decided.

"Fuck off."

I shoved every last drop of my remaining divine power into my right fist.

The only offensive skill I, a healer and tank, could use.

Simply gathering strength and hurling it forward.

That was all it was.

"I don't know if God actually exists..."

I squeezed out my final bit of strength and thrust my fist toward the bastard.

"...but I hate the bastard you worship even more."

———Kwaaaaaaaaang!

The distinct white light of divine power covered the entire area.

The creature floating high in the sky reeled back significantly.

However.

[It is useless.]

It failed to inflict any effective damage on the bastard.

Fucking hero.

Because I lacked the power of the hero.

[Without being the hero, your power cannot kill me.]

"I know, fuck......"

I knew it better than anyone else in this world.

Drained of all strength, I slammed face-first onto the ground.

I was exhausted now.

The bastard babbled on about something, but I didn't really want to listen.

I closed my eyes and ears.

Is it because it's time to die?

Scenes from my past life floated into my mind one by one.

Is this what they call one's life flashing before their eyes?

Looking back, it was a truly shitty life.

Cleaning up after others and saving the world kept me so busy that I never got to do anything for myself.

If I were reborn.......

I didn't even want to engage in such delusions.

Still, if an opportunity ever arose...

I definitely wanted to punch that bastard of a hero at least once.

With that final thought, my consciousness faded.

***

"......I definitely died, didn't I?"

A familiar bed and wooden desk.

And even the clerical vestments hanging on one side of the wall.

It was identical to the room I used back when I lived in the Holy Kingdom.

And above all, the thing that bewildered me the most was...

"What the fuck?"

Because of the white-haired beautiful girl reflected in the mirror.

The girl in front of my eyes was dazzlingly beautiful. Her skin was white and smooth, looking as if she had never experienced hardship in her life, and her blue eyes sparkled like gems.

With clerical vestments draped over her on top of that...

She looked like the spitting image of the goddess described in the scriptures.

The problem was that this ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠beautiful girl was me. The only thing she shared with my original self was the color combination of white hair and blue eyes.

On top of that...

"My arm is back, too...."

Even my left arm, which I lost on the battlefield, was attached completely intact.

Did I come back to the past?

And as a woman, no less?

"Ha."

A dry laugh burst out at the unbelievable situation. Calling it a dream felt far more realistic.

I raised my hand and slapped my own cheek.

Jjak! Jjak! Jjak!

"......Ow."

My cheek hurt like hell.

Stroking my stinging cheek, I sat in front of the desk. A diary bearing signs of someone's use was resting there.

Crooked, crawling handwriting.

Anyone could tell it was written ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠by me.

If so, then the girl in the mirror really was me.......

I checked the last recorded date.

"Holy Kingdom Calendar, Year 481, February 7th."

Exactly ten years before the day I died.

Seventeen years old.

Still five years before the hero party would be formed.

I closed my eyes and wiped my dry face with my hands.

And I fell into thought.

I had obtained an unwanted second chance. Save the world again, save everyone this time...

Such grand thoughts didn't cross my mind at all.

In my past life, I croaked after spending my whole life cleaning up after others.

So this time...

Should I live however the hell I want?

It was just when I made that resolve.

Ttok-ttok.

"Ariel, are you awake?"

I opened my eyes at the familiar voice accompanying the knock on the room door. It was the nun who had taken me in and raised me ever since I was an orphan in my childhood.

By the way.

Ariel?

It was a name as common as Ian.

A name so common that if you shouted "Ariel—" on the streets of the Holy Kingdom, about five people would turn around.

It seemed that since I turned into a woman, even my name had changed.

"...Come in."

The door opened, and a nostalgic face revealed itself.

"Were you awake?"

"......Yes."

The nun's face looked younger than in my memories.

Well, around this time, she must have still been in her twenties. I looked at her while holding back the uncalled-for tears welling up in my eyes.

"Oh my, why is your cheek so red?"

The nun approached with ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a surprised expression and examined my cheek.

"......That's..."

Trying to explain it made me feel ridiculous too.

"Never mind, stay still for a moment."

The nun let out a sigh, took out face powder from the vanity table, and patted it gently onto my cheek.

"Today is the day the Hero-nim comes to the Holy Kingdom for the first time, isn't it? You can't go out looking like this."

The hero.

The moment I heard those words, I felt my blood run cold.

"That bastard... I mean, the hero?"

The nun put on a stern face. Just like when I broke the glass bottle that the Pope halbae cherished.

"Ariel."

"Y-Yes?"

"How many times have I told you that a Saintess-nim shouldn't use such language?"

Saintess.......

"Ah."

Right, of course.

Because 'Saint' was a term used for men.

My head understood it, but I couldn't help a corner of my heart feeling strangely empty.

"Damn it."

"Sseueup."

"O-Oops......."

I trailed off and shut my mouth. The rough speech mannerisms acquired through the orphanage and the battlefield were not something that could be fixed in a single moment.

And when I came to my senses...

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the main gate of the Holy Kingdom.

Clergy and holy knights lined up on both sides. Their faces were filled with pride for the Holy Kingdom and respect toward me, the Saintess.

A long red carpet was even laid out directly ahead.

Did they really have to go this far just because that single bastard was coming?

My stomach was burning already.

With money like this, it would have been much better to feed the orphans a delicious meal instead.

How long had I been chewing out the hero in my head like that?

Along with cheers, a man stepped out of the carriage.

A tall height and brilliant golden hair.

And blue eyes that looked as if the sky itself had been poured into them.

He had an appearance so noble that it was hard to believe he had been a street orphan.

Of course, the same went for me being an orphan, though.

Anyway.

The moment I saw that mug of his, strength naturally gathered in my fists.

Leon, the hero walking upon the carpet while receiving the cheers of the citizens.

Just like in my past life, he was waving his hand in all directions with a good-natured smile.

That hypocritical bastard. Of course, during this period, he probably wasn't a completely rotten bastard yet, but...

Before long, Leon came to a stop in front of me.

Up close, his face was even more fucking infuriating.

"Pleased to meet you, Saintess-nim."

"......"

"I am Leon, the Hero."

Leon held out his hand with a bright smile.

There was only one answer I had for him.

"Fuck off."

"......Pardon?"

Instead of offering my hand, I clenched my fist tight.

The wish I had thought of right until the moment before I died in my past life.

The time to fulfill it had finally come.

Get ready to get beat up, you fucking bastard.