Chapter 15
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 15
Chapter Title: Lewd Diagnosis
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"Pardon the intrusion, Saintess..."
I greeted her in a voice even softer than usual, carefully easing the door open.
Saintess Elysia lay languidly sprawled on the sofa, exhaling smoke from the Moonlit Herb as she stared blankly out the window.
"You're here."
A lazy murmur. She turned her head, gave me a quick once-over, then looked away again. She was utterly serene. Where had that fragile girl from yesterday gone—the one who'd blushed in my arms and whispered for me to take responsibility?
Was it just me? Was I the only one whose heart felt like it might burst from the dizzying sensation of yesterday?
A strange sense of defeat washed over me at her nonchalant demeanor. Then, a displeasing thought flitted through my mind.
'What if... she does this with other people too?'
Maybe she'd shown that pale back to other priests or knights, let them touch her legs. The idea stabbed at my chest like a sharp needle—unpleasant, fishy, bitterly sour.
I had to break this stifling atmosphere. And confirm it. Where did her true feelings lie? I pulled out a few sheets of paper I'd secretly pocketed from the secretariat's office yesterday.
"Saintess, if you're bored, how about a little psychological test?"
"Psychological test? What's that?"
"It's a test where you answer questions, and it reveals your true nature or hidden desires."
Saintess Elysia narrowed her eyes as if annoyed, but soon propped herself up with evident interest. Her collar shifted slightly, revealing that smooth nape from yesterday, but I desperately averted my gaze.
"Fine, whatever. I've got nothing else to do."
I tossed out the prepared questions one by one.
"Okay, you're walking through a forest when suddenly thick fog rolls in. What's the first thing you'd do?"
"Burn it all away. What a hassle."
"...As expected of the Saintess. Next question. If a stranger grabs your hand on the street?"
"I'd chop off their wrist."
Her answers grew more violent and direct with each question. But when I finally pieced together the results and gave the interpretation, the air in the room froze solid.
"The results are in."
"What? It says I'm perfect as a saintess?"
"No. ...It says you're lewd."
Silence. Saintess Elysia's eyes widened.
"Saintess, you're truly lewd. It says your head is full of nothing but filthy thoughts."
"...Want to die?"
Her voice dropped low. Murderous intent flickered in her violet eyes, but I didn't back down.
"It's not my fault! That's just what the test says! If you don't believe it, let's try something else."
I followed up with more tests. Pick what a picture makes you think of, how you'd handle certain situations, and so on. But the results were ruthlessly consistent.
'A type that craves physical pleasure.'
'A lewd nature that wants to bind your partner.'
"Saintess... I, I believed in you."
I dropped the papers to the floor and staggered. Like a tragic woman betrayed and abandoned by her playboy lover, I collapsed delicately beneath the sofa.
"How could you give me those heated looks while harboring such lewd thoughts inside! To trample my pure heart like this!"
Saintess Elysia furrowed her brow as if exasperated by my over-the-top acting. But she soon rose from her seat, approached me, and planted her foot on my chest where I lay on the floor.
"Urk...!"
"Hey. What do you take me for?"
I hurriedly looked away. Staring up at her from the floor was a fatal position.
As she lifted her leg to step on me, the shortened hem of her skirt revealed the smooth curve of her thigh in brazen detail.
The line that should have been modest crumbled, and the faint silhouette of white underwear grazing the fabric inside clawed mercilessly at my vision.
"Saintess, have you forgotten what you're wearing right now?"
My voice cracked. I suppressed my burning heart and desperately focused on the floor's dust instead.
"What? What's wrong?"
Puzzled by my flustered state, Saintess Elysia tilted her head, then realized her own condition.
"...!"
In an instant, her already pale cheeks flushed ripe-strawberry red. She let out a short scream, yanked her leg down, and hurriedly straightened her clothes. The room filled with her shallow, shame-tinged breaths, weaving an ambiguous silence.
She quickly erased her embarrassment, a lazy and dangerous smile curling her lips as she looked down at me again.
"Well now, who's the lewd one, I wonder? Staring so wide-eyed like that."
She crossed her legs as she sat back down, her violet eyes loosely pinning me as if she knew exactly how shaken I was.
"Make me feel like you're really taking responsibility, won't you?"
I'd entered the room with yesterday's dizzying sensation tattooed into my palm, yet the culprit herself was utterly composed.
Unable to hold back the question pricking at my chest, I blurted it out.
"Saintess, you don't do this with other people too, do you?"
"Do what?"
Saintess Elysia tilted her head lazily.
"This stuff. Like stripping off your clothes, getting all close without hesitation... that kind of thing!"
Her brows furrowed sharply at my outburst. She scoffed in disbelief.
"Are you an idiot?! Do I look like the type to do that with just anyone?"
"Isn't that the case? You've been like this with me since we first met."
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, openly directing doubtful glances her way.
"No!! What do you take me for?"
"Then why do it with me?"
Saintess Elysia fell silent at my question. Her cheeks burned red as she just worked her lips, unable to unleash her usual fluent barbs. In the silence, her violet eyes shook, lost for direction.
"I don't know. But really... I only act like this in front of you."
"Sure, if you say so."
I replied with a sarcastic tone. I didn't even know why I was acting so childish, but a corner of my heart kept twisting. It felt like I was the only one treating yesterday as something special, and it soured my mood.
Her gaze shifted at my attitude.
Suddenly, she plopped down onto my chest.
"Ugh...!"
Unexpected weight hit me, along with her thick, signature fragrance. Saintess Elysia gripped my shoulders, leaned in, and whispered low into my ear.
"You don't believe me?"
Her breath tickled my ear, sending chills racing up my spine.
"You're the first... I've ever shown that brand to."
At that confession, my face exploded with heat. She stared straight into my eyes, biting her lip hard to suppress her shame.
"What will it take for you to believe me? You took my first... and now you're saying this?"
"Watch your words! That's full of misunderstandings!"
I cried out in shock, but Saintess Elysia seemed to have half-lost her reason. Unaware her cheeks burned redder than strawberries, she gazed down at me with trembling eyes.
"Need a kiss to believe me?"
"Saintess?!"
"Yeah, this is just to make you believe. Nothing else."
She muttered as if brainwashing herself, slowly bringing her face closer. Silver hair cascaded like a waterfall over my face, her violet eyes filling my vision. My heart pounded like it was right next to my ear.
"S-Saintess! Saintess! Wait a second!"
Just before our lips met, the air brimmed with explosive tension. We were so close I could see her long lashes quivering.
Bang—!
The heavy door to the prayer room flew open without warning.
"Saintess, I need to discuss something briefly..."
There stood the Pope, who should have worn a kindly smile. But upon opening the door, he beheld the scene—me lying on the floor with the Saintess straddling me, about to kiss—and turned to stone.
"......"
"......"
"......"
A suffocating silence dominated the prayer room. The Pope's eyelids twitched like they were spasming. Without a word, he slowly reached out and grasped the door handle.
Creeak, click.
As if he hadn't seen something unsightly—or anything at all—he quietly closed the door and vanished.
I stared blankly at Saintess Elysia, frozen atop my chest. Her face had turned not just red, but violet.
"...This is, um..."
Saintess Elysia robotically creaked as she tried to rise, but before I knew it, I'd grabbed her waist tightly.
"Saintess, now you really have to take responsibility. Even the Pope saw."
At my words, Saintess Elysia finally screamed and buried her face in my chest.
"Before that, let's make one thing clear. Do you like me?"