Demon King Boot-Up (3): Damn Lying God!
"You said you could grant any wish. Believe me, I'm the supreme god!"
"Damn lying god!"
-Crack! I slammed my fist down on the stone table, and it shattered once more.
"H-Hic?!"
At the same time, I heard a clattering scramble as someone bolted away from me. The source of the noise was huddled in the corner of the cave, knees drawn up to her chest, face pale as a ghost.
"D-Demon King... are you mad?"
"Yeah. Pissed as hell."
"Ugh... W-Wanna touch my boobs?"
Was she clueless, or just that dense? My anger deflated at the idiotic remark. No, that's just how she was. But why the hell was she offering her chest in the middle of this...?
More than that, wearing that sleeveless white dress and pulling a stunt like this was seriously messing with me. Silt was wearing one too—were these some kind of god uniform?
"I'm not even mad at you, so quit acting so jumpy."
"B-But you just said 'damn lying god'..."
"What does that have to do with you?"
"I'm a god... and I'm the only god here..."
"Sigh... Right, yeah. I'm not mad anymore, so come sit down. A girl's not supposed to sit on a cold cave floor."
"Uwoong..."
The girl—who was sniffling like she was about to cry... well, she called herself a god, so she was probably ancient, but she still looked like a loli—crept over cautiously and sat in the chair across from me. Her eyes brimmed with tears ready to spill any second, and she trembled at the sight of the table wreckage. She looked downright pitiful.
Pitiful was pitiful, but breaking someone else's furniture twice by breaking into their home uninvited? That was on me, so I should apologize.
"Sorry for smashing the table again."
"N-No, it's f-fine! Totally fine! I can fix it! You saw me do it earlier!"
She kept insisting while sneaking glances at me, then—
"R-Repair!"
"......"
Nothing happened.
"Hweeng..."
"I'm really fine with it, so calm down and try again."
"O-Okay... I'll do my best. Repair! Repair! Fix! Restore! Oh, right!"
-Snap!
"Repair!"
The scattered stone chunks gathered on their own, reforming into a perfect table.
"Impressive."
"I-I got praised. Hehe..."
One second she's quaking in her boots, the next she's grinning like an idiot at my sarcasm, mistaking it for a compliment. I let out a sigh. My life, reduced to relying on this to survive in this world? Tragic. Just tragic.
I'd met her just a few hours ago.
"I wanna be the Heavenly Demon."
"Then off you go—don't be surprised."
-Clap!
The moment Silt clapped, a magic circle flickered into existence beneath me. Lines of light traced out, circuits emerged, merged, split, harmonizing in perfect resonance. As it all took shape, the circle grew vivid while my body faded.
"Oh! There, your name shall be Cluster Versilver. I named you myself, so feel free to be grateful."
"Cluster Versilver... Cool name? Wait, hold up! Heavenly Demon, and you give me that kinda name?!"
"Indeed. A splendid name. Especially Versilver—it's a Chosen Surname."
"Chosen Surname my ass! Hey! Silt!"
My vision flashed white. When the light cleared, the shrine was gone, replaced by a rocky cavern. Damp, dim, and utterly dreary—like the inside of some mountain cave.
"Who goes there?"
A solemn voice echoed through the cave. I whipped around to see a woman with brown hair and matching eyes. Her beauty clashed with the gloomy rocks, lending her an air of mystery. She almost seemed to glow faintly.
"Who are you, emerging from that magic circle?"
"S-Summon...?"
"I, Goddess Lai Teresa, saw it clearly. You appeared from the summoning circle."
-Snap!
"Shall we sit and talk?"
The woman who introduced herself as Goddess Teresa snapped her fingers, and a table rose from the ground. Silt had snapped to teleport me here, and this one made tables? Gods had their specialties, huh.
"Sit there."
"So you summoned me?"
"Y-Yes! I-I summoned you. So you have to l-listen to me!"
"Lai Teresa, right?"
"Yes. But that's not a name for the likes of you to—"
-Thud!
I'd only tapped the table lightly with my fist, but it crumbled. Was I that strong now? Did that mean I was really the Heavenly Demon? No... Cluster Versilver? No way that weird name belonged to the Heavenly Demon.
"Wh-What was that?!"
"Uh, sorry. Kinda hard to feel good about goddesses right now."
Two goddesses in a row, and both rubbed me the wrong way? One renames me into some Heavenly Demon wannabe with a lame-ass title, the other lies about summoning me herself.
"Hey. Be straight with me. Did you really summon me?"
"Y-Yes..."
I stared at Lai Teresa. Silently. Straight in the eyes.
"...No! I didn't! I was just passing by the summoning circle when it flashed, and you popped out!"
"Quit hiding behind the chair and sit properly."
"Y-Yes, ma'am!"
She'd ducked behind the chair since I smashed the table, but now she scurried to sit ramrod straight—back glued to the chairback, fists clenched on her knees, the picture of deference. I hadn't meant to smash it, and I wasn't mad at her anyway—Silt was the culprit. But it scared her that bad?
"Relax. I'm not mad at you."
Her lie bugged me, but maybe she had her reasons. I was the intruder here, after all, invited or not.
"R-Really?"
"Yeah, really. Sit comfy."
"Th-Thank you."
Thanking me for sitting in her chair in her house? Whatever. I needed her help, so best to stay on good terms.
"Mind if I ask a few questions?"
"Of course! I'm a goddess overseeing this dimension—I can answer anything!"
"Why was I summoned here?"
"No idea!"
"Fuck!"
"Hweeng! Sorry!"
Whew... Calm down. She probably figured anyone popping in outta nowhere could be useful. Made sense.
"Some goddess sent me here. Called herself the supreme god. You know her?"
"No clue..."
"What do you know?"
"Everything except what you asked..."
Sigh. I could say that too. I sighed inwardly, sorting my thoughts. If she was really a goddess, three possibilities: Silt was fake, this one was utterly useless, or both. Since I'd crossed dimensions, Silt couldn't be fake—so this one was the dud.
"What a headache."
"I know, right! Headache means tension, and dimension-hopping stresses the body and nerves. I can heal it!"
"Not that. No need for healing."
"Sorry..."
Just shut up already. The words nearly escaped, but she was my only lifeline right now, so I held back.
"Sigh..."
"Um..."
"Yeah?"
"Why do you keep talking down to me...? N-Not that it bothers me! But I'm a goddess..."
She yelled it wasn't a problem, then her voice trailed off meekly. Kinda pitiful.
"You drop the formal talk too."
"R-Really? I can?"
"You're a god, probably ancient. Casual's fine. Easier that way."
"Hee... For real? Casual? Casuaaal~?"
Yeah, yeah. I rubbed my dry face without thinking. She lit up again.
"Hehe, shy now that we're casual? Can't be helped~ Getting chummy with a great goddess like me is embarrassing, huh~"
Her cheeky attitude made me wanna snap back, but a talkative ally beat a terrified one. Loose lips sink ships—or spill secrets.
"Give me the basics on this place?"
"This is my carefully crafted rock cave~ This room's all gloomy to scare intruders, but over there's all sparkly~"
"I mean this dimension. This world."
"Oh... Right... No interest in my cave, huh..."
"Kinda got that wuxia vibe. Dig it."
"Huh?"
Her eyes went wide, but since I'd be crashing here awhile, I asked her to give me the tour later. She perked right up. Was this girl really a goddess?
"Ahem. Before questions, I wanna ask first!"
"Shoot."
"What's your name?"
Oh yeah—she and Silt had given theirs, but I hadn't. I'd chewed Silt out for it, then forgot my own intro. I was shameless anywhere, it seemed.
"Seo Eunjong..."
Wait, no? No need for my Earth name here. Silt gave me something fitting this world—a "precious" name, even. And this cave screamed wuxia hideout. Maybe "Westerner" or something in murim terms? Heavenly Demon Cult was west-adjacent, after all. Actually, the name was growing on me. Silt, goddess, I misjudged your wisdom.
"Cluster Versilver."
"Cluster, huh~ Call me Lai since I'm Lai Teresa... Wait, what? Your name again?"
"Cluster."
"No, not that. The surname?"
Lai gaped. Was it that impressive? I puffed up a bit, reintroducing myself proudly. Felt kinda embarrassing.
"Versilver. Cluster Versilver."
"Y-You! D-D-Demon King?!"
Demon King already? She muttered something about sensing demonic mana... Whatever.
"I'm the Demon King?"
"The worst Demon King in continental history. Same surname as Radia Versilver."
"Not Heavenly Demon...?"
"Heavenly Demon? What's that?"
Her face said it all. Heavenly Demon? What's that, weeaboo? She just didn't know it—otherwise, she'd have led with it. Conclusion...
"Damn lying god!"
And now—
"Demon King~ If I teach you about the continent~ will you praise me again~?"
"Kinda beat right now. Later okay?"
"Sure sure! Lessons tomorrow, tour today. This rock cave~"
Getting scammed by a goddess pissed me off enough, but my only lifeline being this airhead? Could I even get back home safe?
"Heavenly Demon, huh..."
Silt muttered to herself, thinking of the man who'd just vanished before her eyes.
"No demand for male Heavenly Demons these days. Closest match I could find—hope he's satisfied."