Practicing How to Smile
I had a dream. It wasn't the vivid lucid dream I usually had, but the hazy kind that only came when I was utterly exhausted. In the dream, the Hero was holding onto me, weeping. I didn't really know why she was crying. No, maybe I did, but the memory was too blurry to recall.
Again? What does she mean by that?
She spoke as if she had already lost me once before. I wanted to ask what she meant, but when I opened my mouth, only a grating, metallic rasp slipped out. Well, that's not going to work.
Instead, I forced my heavy hand upward and gently rested it on the Hero's head.
It's okay. After all, this is just a bad dream.
We can always force a reunion later. It might lack a bit of narrative consistency... but that's just how dreams are. I could be resurrected, we could pretend none of this ever happened, or we could even throw in a reincarnation setting.
So...
It's fine. As long as I don't forget you, we'll meet again someday. Just like how I'm dreaming of you once more right now.
Ah. I see.
This is all just a dream—
"...Ah."
It had been a while since I woke up right as I realized I was dreaming.
Where was I? Hmm, a hospital? I smelled antiseptic. I used to be a regular at places like this. Not just because of extreme sports, but because I did all sorts of reckless things back then to gather data.
An insurance investigator even paid me a visit once, suspicious that I was committing fraud.
"Um, are you awake?"
"……Hmm?"
A voice, both familiar and strange, drifted over from beside me.
It was a voice I had heard countless times in my dreams, but never once in reality. Well, to be precise, I had heard it briefly right before I passed out.
I forced my heavy eyelids open and looked toward the source of the voice.
Just as I had guessed, Han Haneul, the S-class hunter of the Changcheon Guild, was gazing down at me with worried eyes.
"Miss Han Haneul...?"
"D-Do you know me...?"
"Pardon? Ah, yes... You're a very famous S-class hunter, after all..."
Mid-sentence, the memory of Han Haneul rescuing me from the Gate finally rushed back. Ah, right. That happened. I bowed my head slightly to express my gratitude.
"Thank you for saving me, Miss Han Haneul."
"O-Oh, no... If anything, we should be the ones thanking you... I heard that thanks to you, Mr. Porter... the others were able to hold out without any casualties."
Han Haneul's lips parted slightly, as if she had more to say but was hesitating. Perhaps she was much shyer than she let on.
I offered her a gentle smile and asked a casual question to help put her at ease.
"By the way, where are we? I thought it was a hospital at first... but it doesn't quite feel like one."
"Ah! It's, um, the treatment room at the Changcheon Guild."
"Ah..."
I had heard that major guilds operated their own private treatment rooms, but I never expected to experience one firsthand. No wonder my body felt so strangely fine. Seeing how I didn't have a single scratch on me, a healer must have patched me up.
Well, I owe them another debt.
The club president must have looked out for me, right?
"Um, where is the Guild Leader?"
"Yes?"
"Ah, I wanted to thank her... for letting me use the treatment room like this..."
"Oh! Actually, I brought you here under my own authority... so you don't need to worry about that at all."
"Pardon?"
Han Haneul, an S-class hunter? For me?
Come to think of it, the fact that she was waiting here for me to wake up was also rather strange. No matter how responsible she felt as an escort, she had no obligation to go this far for a mere porter.
Hmm. Hmmm. Hmmmmmm.
Is she just an incredibly nice person?
I had heard she was cold and aloof, but maybe she was just socially awkward and actually possessed a heart of gold. Then again, internet rumors about celebrities are always like that—people just love tearing others down.
I bowed my head once more to express my gratitude.
The first thank-you was for saving my life; this one was for getting me treated.
"Thank you. I appreciate you looking after me like this."
"N-No, it's nothing. It was only natural..."
Still, how long was she planning to watch over me like this?
She wasn't going to stay by my side until I was discharged, was she? It was getting a bit overwhelming. Maybe I should leave as soon as possible.
"U-Um, by the way, Mr. Porter... what is your name?"
"Ah, I'm Siwoo. Kim Siwoo."
"Siwoo... I see... Mr. Kim Siwoo..."
"Yes."
"I-I'm Han Haneul..."
"Yes, of course I know. You're one of South Korea's few S-class hunters. I've seen you on the news."
"On the news... Ah, um, by any chance..."
At my response, she bit her lower lip slightly, lost in thought, before asking in a somewhat anxious voice:
"Have we... met somewhere else before?"
"Pardon?"
Well, I do see you in my dreams quite often.
"Hmm, I'm not sure. If I had ever met an S-class hunter, I'm sure I would have remembered it... but nothing comes to mind."
"Ah, yes... Of course, you're right..."
Even after that, Han Haneul kept asking me various questions.
It felt like she was either trying to break the ice with random small talk, or she was desperately searching for some kind of information. It couldn't be that she was interested in me... right?
Hmm. Is she just really bored?
"U-Um, where did you learn your swordsmanship?"
"Ah, an acquaintance of mine runs a dojang that teaches hunter swordsmanship, so I learned it there. I picked it up thinking it might be useful if I ever awakened, and it ended up saving my life."
"A hunter dojang... Still, fighting monsters in person is very different, isn't it? You must have been terrified and incredibly tense..."
"I've always been a bit fearless. Besides, the situation was so urgent back then that I didn't even have time to think about being scared."
To be precise, I was used to it because I had trained in my dreams, but that was too difficult to explain. And it was true that I didn't scare easily. I used to be a coward, but after repeatedly training myself to overcome various nightmares in my lucid dreams, my fear had vanished somewhere along the way.
Thanks to that, I was able to remain calm even while being wounded by monsters.
Contrary to the common belief that you can't feel pain in dreams, once you get used to it, you can feel pain as vividly as in reality. In fact, I often had dreams where I died in excruciating agony.
"By the way, aren't you busy, Hunter Han Haneul? I feel a bit bad that you're spending so much time looking after me like this."
"Not at all! Thanks to you, we were able to save so many people. If a civilian dies, the responsibility falls on us as the escorts. Besides, you're practically a benefactor to our guild, Mr. Siwoo, so you don't need to feel bad at all."
"Ah, I see."
"...By any chance, is my presence making you uncomfortable?"
Well, a little? It wasn't so much uncomfortable as it was overwhelming.
How could I not feel pressured when someone I had only ever seen in my dreams was sitting right next to me, anxiously fussing over me? On top of that, I felt a twinge of guilt because I had recently used her as a model for the 'Hero' in my dreams.
It didn't matter when she was a complete stranger, but using someone I actually knew as a character in my dreams felt... a bit inappropriate.
As I fell silent for a moment, lost in these thoughts, she seemed to take my silence as confirmation. Her face paled slightly, and she bowed her head, her eyes welling up with tears.
"I-I'm sorry for bothering you when you must be so tired... *sniff*..."
Wait, what? She's crying? Just like that? Why? How?
Did I do something wrong?
Panicking slightly, I hurriedly shook my head and tried to explain.
"Ah! No, that's not it! I-I'm not uncomfortable at all! It's just, well, I've always been a big fan of yours, Miss Han Haneul... so my heart was fluttering a bit? I was just shy... Yes, that's why. Haha..."
"……You're a fan of mine?"
"Yes, yes. You're incredibly famous, Hunter Han Haneul."
To be honest, calling myself a fan wasn't entirely a lie.
In fact, depending on how you looked at it, dreaming about her made me practically a hardcore fan, didn't it?
"I see... You're a fan of mine..."
"Yes!"
"Then, um, by any chance... would you like to exchange phone numbers?"
"……Pardon?"
After Mr. Siwoo was discharged, I stared blankly at my smartphone. His phone number was saved on the screen.
"It's the Porter... right?"
He didn't seem to remember... but he was definitely the Porter. The more we spoke, the more certain I became. My soul, my heart, my reason, my instincts, and every single nerve and cell in my body were screaming that Mr. Kim Siwoo was indeed the 'Porter' I remembered.
I hope we can become close again, just like in our past lives...
Mr. Siwoo was exactly the same as he was in his past life.
My appearance was similar, but... my personality now was so different from back then. If Mr. Siwoo's tastes hadn't changed, would he dislike a cold, emotionless woman like me? In our past life, the Porter always said he loved it when I smiled.
A smile...
"Pfft..."
Looking into the mirror, I tried to mimic the way I used to smile in my past life.
It felt incredibly awkward... but while it was unfamiliar, there was also a trace of comfort to it. Just like with my swordsmanship, I felt like I would get the hang of it quickly if I practiced.
Yes. Good.
Let's start by practicing how to smile.
"Pfft, pffft, hehehe, hahaha..."
"Um, Haneul—"
"..."
"..."
"...Yes, Unni."
"Ah, right. Well, about that assassin-class hunter who was in charge of escort duty... the disciplinary action has been finalized..."
"Please make sure the porters are properly compensated."
"Of course. That guy will probably have to spit out everything he's ever earned while working at Changcheon just to pay the damages. Especially for that one person who protected the other porters—I've secured a promise from the guild to compensate him separately."
"Thank you, Unni."
"Sure. But, um, what were you doing in front of the mirror just now—"
"I'm tired, so I'm going to bed."
"Ah, okay..."