The Girl in My Memory
I headed to the bathroom to wash off the sweat from my sudden late-night workout. By the time I finished my shower and stepped into the living room, Ayoung and Sister Hayan’s faces were flushed bright red.
Seeing several empty bottles of soju, it seemed they had been pouring them back while I was busy scrubbing up. What a pair of traitors.
“Seriously? You drank that much without me? Besides, you both look wasted.”
“No way! We’re not drunk!”
“Hehehe, that’s right! Not drunk!”
They shouted back, waving their arms around with faces as red as tomatoes. Their behavior was textbook drunk, yet they insisted they were sober. A sigh escaped me automatically.
I had originally planned to experience a bit of college life with some drinking games, but since they were already hammered, that dream was dead.
“That’s it for you two. Stop drinking.”
“Whyyy. I’m not drunk!”
“Yeah! We’re not drunk!”
“Your behavior says otherwise.”
I snatched the glasses away from Ayoung and Sister Hayan, who were reaching for more, and downed the drinks myself.
“You’re a real buzzkill, aren’t you?”
“But aren’t you just looking out for us?”
They both pouted, but soon enough, they were giggling and whispering to each other, clearly having the time of their lives. Kee-k. Nothing beats soju after a workout!
As I was filling my stomach with the leftover delivery food, Sister Hayan approached me.
“Siwoo, why were you like that earlier?”
“What… just trying to feel grateful for being alive?”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I just felt a sense of relief coming home. Ayoung is the only one I can call family.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. Ayoung and I only have each other.”
“Oh… I see…”
I watched Sister Hayan trail off before turning my gaze away. Ayoung, who had been chattering away just a moment ago, was slumped over with her head down. I wondered why it had gotten so quiet—it looked like she’d fallen asleep right there.
“Sister, Ayoung seems to be asleep, so we should call it a night. Would you like to sleep here?”
“Is that okay?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? I’ll clean up and go to bed, so why don’t you take Ayoung and go get some rest?”
I helped Sister Hayan and Ayoung to the bed before heading out.
After cleaning up everything but the snacks, I lifted my soju glass alone, using the moonlight as my companion. Kee-k. That hits the spot.
Maybe it’s because I survived death, but the alcohol tastes sweet. Honestly, after getting the Massage trait, I’d been living with a sense of half-resignation. It wasn’t a combat trait, but some bizarre, useless thing instead—can you blame me for feeling that way?
But after nearly dying, my perspective shifted a little. It felt like I had a goal again.
Rather than dying without doing anything, I felt a sudden urge to try something. Surely, there had to be something I could do even with a support trait. To do that, there were things I needed to take care of first.
“The hospital. Sangcheon Guild. Massage.”
I’d go to the hospital, meet Dr. Lee Daeho, and ask how to recover my lost memories. Then, I’d build a connection with the Sangcheon Guild that helped me earlier and investigate the purple gates. In the process, I’d use my massage ability to help hunters and earn money.
Simple is Best.
Yeah. Keeping it simple is the best way.
If I try things one by one, I’ll reach the end eventually.
Team Leader Lee Cheolho of the Kangcheon Guild waited for Han Soyu in front of the shimmering gate. It had been three hours since she entered the purple gate. It was about time for her to come out.
Sure enough, the gate rippled, and Han Soyu emerged. She looked a bit worn out; fatigue was visible on her face. The building that had been swallowed by the gate vanished without a trace.
In the hand of the Han Soyu who emerged, something was held.
“As expected, is it that again?”
“Yes. I think we can be certain now. It seems the purple gates are being opened using this.”
“Ha, what kind of people… why would they forcibly create gates?”
“Who knows the reason… maybe there was a target they needed to eliminate here, or maybe they just want to cause chaos… Let’s head back for now.”
“Yes, understood. Thank you for your hard work today.”
“Yes. I’ll head in first.”
Han Soyu bowed to Lee Cheolho and headed toward the Hunter Association. She wanted nothing more than to go home and rest, but seeing these incidents happen repeatedly, it seemed there was some organization behind it. She would have to report to the Association President quickly and find a solution.
‘How many times has this been now… I’m so tired…’
I got out of the taxi and stared at the hospital building. It was a square, white-painted building that you could see anywhere.
Daehan Hospital
I passed through the main entrance, familiar with the layout, and stepped inside. As expected, the building was bustling with medical staff and patients. I approached the information desk in the center of the lobby.
“How can I help you?”
“Ah, I’m here to see Professor Lee Daeho in the Department of Neuropsychiatry.”
“What is your name? Have you been to our hospital before?”
“Yes. I was hospitalized here before. My name is Lee Siwoo.”
“Just a moment.”
As the nurse typed on her keyboard and stared at the monitor, I looked around. A large TV placed in one corner of the lobby was showing news about yesterday’s gate incident.
“Lee Siwoo-nim? The professor doesn’t have any consultations right now, so he should be in his office. Would you like me to tell him you’re here?”
“Yes. Where should I go?”
“If you go to the 4th-floor psychiatric ward, you’ll find the professor’s office.”
“Yes, thank you.”
I took the elevator to the 4th floor. I scanned the rooms in the hallway until I found the one with a sign that read Professor Lee Daeho.
Knock, knock.
“Yes, come in.”
A voice came from inside, and I opened the door and entered. Professor Lee Daeho, who had been sitting in front of his computer, saw me, stood up, and reached out to shake my hand.
“Siwoo-gun. It’s been a while. You’ve been well?”
“Hello, Professor.”
“Sit here. Coffee? Tea? Water? What would you like?”
“Water, please.”
I sat at the table he pointed to, and he sat across from me.
“What brings you here?”
“Ah, it’s nothing else, I just had something I wanted to ask.”
“Yes, ask me anything.”
“Well, I’ve been having dreams lately. But when I wake up, I have no memory of the dream. What kind of situation is this?”
Professor Lee Daeho’s face filled with surprise. What? Is it that surprising?
“Siwoo-gun, listen carefully.”
“Yes?”
“Actually, Siwoo-gun, you have a symptom of having nightmares every night.”
“…Me?”
That was the first time I’d heard that. I have nightmares?
“Do you remember when you were first diagnosed with dissociative amnesia by me?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Ever since then, you’ve had nightmares every night. And the next day, whenever someone asked you about it, you would lose your train of thought and erase the very fact that the question was asked.”
“…Please, continue.”
This, too, was the first time I’d heard of this, just like the nightmares. Why didn’t I know?
“Siwoo-gun, you had a strong desire to erase the forgotten memories themselves without even realizing it.”
“…”
“So, I assume your guardian, Ayoung-yang, didn’t tell you either. But now, years later, for some reason, you seem to have realized it yourself.”
“Ah… is it because I gained a support trait?”
A sense of guilt weighed heavily on my heart. So Ayoung had been watching over me every night while I had nightmares. For years…
“That could be it. Regardless, it’s a good sign. Since you’ve realized you’re having dreams, the possibility of finding your memories has begun.”
“Then what should I do?”
“You won’t be able to remember the dreams all at once. They’ll just remain as vague memories.”
“…”
Even if it’s vague, if it remains in my memory, it could become a clue. About the purple gates, and about my parents’ deaths.
“It’s highly likely that you’re replaying the forgotten memories during the time you’re dreaming.”
“Replaying forgotten memories…”
“So, first, try to consciously recognize that you’re having dreams right before you fall asleep. Then, they’ll remain as at least vague memories, and that itself will help you find your memories.”
“…Yes. I understand.”
Consciously recognizing that I’m having dreams… That’s a pretty difficult condition. And there’s no guarantee it will work…
“Try getting help from things like aroma candles that are good for sleep, or warm tea.”
“Yes.”
“The most important thing is not to perceive the dreams as bad. You’re likely avoiding them without realizing it, so just take it one step at a time.”
“Yes. Then—”
After talking with Professor Lee Daeho for a few dozen minutes, I left the hospital.
‘Ayoung must have had a hard time.’
I should think of a way to repay her. Should I make her a special meal every day? Should I buy some high-quality beef and grill it for her? No, things like that wouldn’t be enough.
I decided to think about it slowly. For now, I should at least buy some hangover soup. She was suffering from a hangover this morning…
I don’t know why she drank so much when she can’t even handle her liquor. Isn’t she a fool for not being able to control herself?
“Ayoung, eat this and settle your stomach.”
“What?! Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?!”
I arrived home, heated up the hangover soup, and called out to Ayoung, who was drowning in her hangover. She was startled. Honestly, anyone would think this was the first time I’d been nice to her.
“No, I went to the hospital and heard the story.”
“…?”
“That I had nightmares every night. And that you probably watched over me every single night.”
“…”
I patted Ayoung, who was scratching her head, looking shy. She must have put off all the things she wanted to do just to take care of me. That’s just who Lee Ayoung is.
“So I wanted to say thank you. You put off your own work to come home early because of me, right?”
“…Well, I guess?”
“Thank you, really. They said I’ll get better little by little.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. They said there’s a possibility that my memories will gradually return.”
“That’s a relief… such a relief…”
I smiled at Ayoung as she let out a sigh of relief, and we ate the hangover soup together to settle our stomachs. For now, let’s be satisfied with this. I’ll think carefully and make sure to repay you.
After telling Ayoung to get some rest, I returned to my room and opened the system window. From today, I have to start doing things one by one to find my memories.
I thought about buying an aroma candle outside, but I didn’t buy one separately because I thought the ones in the Massage Shop would be more effective. As I purchased the candle, a portal appeared in the air.
I grabbed the candle, placed it by the bed, and lit it. A citrus scent gently filled the room. Now, I have to fall asleep while recognizing that I’m having a dream.
I lay in bed, closed my eyes, and repeated it slowly in my mind, like counting sheep.
‘Dreams are not bad.’
‘I am having a dream.’
‘Dreams are a replay of past memories.’
‘I am having a dream.’
‘Dreams are not ba—’
I’m running for my life, having escaped the apartment. I need to get as far away as possible. No. Where can I go to find someone to help me?
‘Think, Lee Siwoo. Think fast.’
Even while moving, I kept looking around. But I couldn’t see anyone in the apartment complex. Did everyone evacuate? The gate appeared, so why aren’t the hunters coming?
There’s no time to stand still and worry. I have to keep moving and find someone to help. Before it’s too late. Right now.
As I passed between the apartment buildings, I was suddenly sent flying through the air, spitting blood. Then, I felt excruciating pain in my chest.
“Aaaargh!”
I hit the ground and rolled several times. I struggled to lift my battered body, and when I coughed, a mix of saliva and blood came out. As I lifted my head, I saw a figure a few meters away.
A magic beast that looked twice as big as me. It had the head of a bull, a human-like body, and rough-looking fur. Huge, sharp horns. Nostrils puffing out steam. It was a minotaur-type magic beast from Greek mythology.
“*Cough, cough.*”
I couldn’t breathe properly, and blood kept erupting. My hand, which I used to cover my mouth, was stained with blood. Every time I coughed, my chest felt like it was being stabbed; it seemed a rib was piercing one of my internal organs.
In an instant, uncontrollable fear washed over me. The fear that I might die. My brain wasn’t functioning normally.
“P-please, save me. *Cough.*”
I could see the minotaur approaching, puffing out steam.
“P-please, *cough*, save me. *Cough.*”
I forced strength into my body and struggled to get away. How many meters had I walked?
“Oh? A human.”
I heard the voice of some girl? It was devoid of emotion.
“W-who… *cough*.”
I forced my head up toward the sound and saw the figure of a girl who looked like she could be in elementary or middle school. What? Why is a young girl here?
“R-run away. *Cough.* There’s a magic beast here. *Cough.*”
“That thing? It won’t attack me. I’m stronger than it.”
“*Cough.* What?”
“Look. It’s just standing there.”
I whipped my head around to see the magic beast standing still. It looked terrified. A magic beast… afraid of a human?
“*Cough.* Who, who are you?”
“I don’t know. I just appeared here.”
“What, *cough*, does that mean?”
“I don’t know. I want to tell you, but I don’t know either.”
The girl’s voice felt completely devoid of emotion. It felt like a machine without feelings was speaking.
“O-okay. *Cough.* Can you save me for now? *Cough.*”
“Sure. Since you’re the first person I’ve met, I’ll do it as a special favor. I just need to send you somewhere that thing isn’t, right?”
“*Cough.* T-thank you.”
As soon as the girl’s voice faded, my vision went dark for a moment.
“Huh? *Cough.*”
My vision cleared, and I saw the landscape around me. A vacant lot about five minutes away from the apartment complex. How did we get here in an instant?
I turned my head to find the girl, but she was nowhere to be seen.
“N-no… *cough*. Mom, Dad…”
I kept coughing and forced my body to move. I had gotten the order wrong. I shouldn’t have asked her to save me; I should have asked her to help them first. I didn’t know what kind of ability she had or who she was. If it was that girl, she could have saved my parents.
My desire to live had been so strong that I couldn’t even think of my parents. I had left them behind. I had kicked away another chance.
“*Cough, cough.*”
I couldn’t take more than a few steps before I collapsed to the ground. My vision blurred, and my consciousness began to fade.
“N-no. Mom, Dad. I’m sorry…”
Jolt.
“Ugh.”
My head felt like it was splitting, so I wrapped my hands around it. I looked to the side and saw the candle had burned down halfway. It seemed I had been asleep for a long time.
And.
I had a dream… what was it?
I couldn’t remember everything. But there was something vaguely remaining in my memory…
Surely…
“I saw a girl that day. Who was she?”