Let's Fake Date! (2)

Among the Four Great Ducal Houses stood the Duke of Evernight: Nephrine Idea.

A magnate famous for standing shoulder to shoulder with the Empire's great merchant guild, the Golden Carriage, she was known as an austere noble who devoted more care than anyone to the welfare and treatment of her people—so much so that it was said she bought loyalty before she ever bought a person with money.

She was also famous for never taking on a venture that would fail, being the sort who preached extreme efficiency and rationalism. Small wonder the merchants had a saying for her: the Duke of Evernight never fails.

And the young heir she had raised so diligently was Magni Idea—the young duke she dragged to work every day, personally teaching him everything from business acumen to bookkeeping to the management of connections. He happened to be the fiancé of Beatrice, daughter of the Iron Duke of the same Four Great Ducal Houses.

That was the man who had summoned me.

The reason, of course?

"I really can't thank you enough. I'd been wracking my brains over how to break off this engagement, and as a last resort I'd planned a fake relationship—and it worked better than I expected. You're a genuinely capable talent."

The news of my fake relationship with Beatrice had reached his ears. As Beatrice had mentioned earlier, Magni had already given his blessing to our arrangement. He, too, harbored a deep aversion to an engagement that had been forced through. On top of that, their personalities simply did not mesh, and at some point the two of them had started conspiring together to get the whole thing called off.

"At first I came right out and said, 'We'd like to call off the engagement,' but they told me it was out of the question. The family treated it as if there were no better terms to be had anywhere."

It had been an engagement the Duke of Evernight herself had pushed through—and she was already infamous for how high she set the bar. The Iron Duke, for his part, had agreed because maintaining good relations with the Empire's great magnate seemed advantageous, which made it no simple matter to withdraw on a word.

"So the strategy I came up with was a fake relationship. Haha!"

That did not mean there was no way forward. Beatrice had produced a stroke of genius no one had seen coming: a psychological assault on the Iron Duke, who was a complete daughter-doting fool. It had sounded absurd at first, but against a man who had raised Beatrice more precious than anything, it was a strategy that could actually work. If his own daughter fell head over heels and ran off to another man, the fault would lie with the woman, not the man—and that, supposedly, would let the talk of an annulment proceed that much more smoothly.

"Is there any further support you need? Ah, don't worry about any harm coming to you, junior. We'll handle everything on our end. The family won't lay a finger on you."

"You're really going to help this actively?"

"What, did you think I wouldn't?"

I was already exhausted by the sheer destructiveness of this annulment plan. A fiancée falling for another man and calling off the engagement—when you considered the fallout from that, the Duke of Evernight, who treated efficiency as a religion, was more than likely to have a fit.

The Idea ducal house was, in a sense, a massive brand. Even her extreme concern for her people's welfare existed because a stain on the enterprise's reputation would be a problem. Suppose the fiancée had an affair. The gossip would write itself: how unattractive must the man be, for the woman to fall for someone else?

And yet he was going along with this plan. Magni was every bit as off-the-wall as Beatrice, but—

"Heh. So you don't understand my thinking either. Think about it. Marriage is a pair of shackles that bind two people together."

The reasoning behind that judgment was, in its way, so rational and so efficient that even the Duke of Evernight would have had to concede the point.

"Just because we're husband and wife, we'd have to spend our whole lives together, holding each other back. There are still so many ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠things I want to do. That's why marriage isn't rational."

"Therefore, as the young duke who will inherit the house, I cannot tolerate any further waste. Marriage? Plenty of young ladies would follow me around just because they like me. If I have to produce an heir, I'll do it, sure. But I'm still young, so I'll look into that after I've succeeded."

I couldn't help but applaud a mindset worthy of a certain tech mogul.

"You're going to go far..."

This was absolutely the kind of man who would rant about efficiency even when changing clothes and wear nothing but the same outfit every day. Truly.

"Appreciate the compliment. Looking at your face, you seem like the type who'll go far yourself. Come by our house sometime. I'll find you a position."

That was when Magni laughed, hearty and unrestrained.

"Wait. Hold on."

He nodded, as if a brilliant idea had just struck him, and started to speak. In that instant, I felt a chill.

"Right. Come to think of it, this is a little unfair. If only one side gets cheated on, that's a problem in its own way. There's even a saying about the business of romance. I can't just sit here and take it."

This feeling. This sensation. Déjà vu. The premonition of a disaster so large I swallowed dryly and stared into empty air.

No. He couldn't possibly be thinking—

"In that case... I should fake date too..."

Yep. Damn it.

I stepped in front of Magni as he slammed the accelerator and fired back.

"No, Young Master. A double fake relationship? If this already damages the family, that would only make it worse. Better to maintain the current state and keep the momentum going."

"Hm? Is that so?"

"It is. Uncontrollable variables aren't opportunities—they're poison. For now, how about we take care not to lose what we already have in hand, and proceed with the plan as it stands?"

"That's certainly..."

Early suppression, and thorough. I rattled off my thoughts in a machine-gun burst, desperation doing the talking, and Magni swallowed a hum and sank into thought. I checked the status window. It was quiet. Nothing stirring.

If I stop it before something big happens, even the status window can't do anything, huh.

I let out a breath of relief. If I had sat there zoning out, I would have gone from fake dating straight into double fake dating, dragged Iris into it, and watched the whole thing explode. Factoring in that I still had to look after Michelle later, I wanted no part of any further headaches.

However.

Ding.

Our status window, it seemed, had no intention of leaving me alone. An unwelcome chime punched through my ears, and a familiar interface flickered in the corner of my vision.

I barely managed to hide my rotting expression and muttered inwardly.

And what's a Villain Duo supposed to be?

So now they were going to run wild as a pair.

At the same time, Magni finished his deliberation as if he had been waiting for this and reached a decision.

"Still, I can't just do nothing. I should join this operation in earnest myself."

I'm actually going to lose my mind.

I clenched my teeth and cooled my temper at the sheer absurdity of it.

Fine, status window. So that's how you want to play it?

"Um, Young Master."

"Hm? What is it, my capable junior?"

"There's a young lady I think would be a good match. What do you say? She's so promising that princes from every country joined the same club just to see her."

"...!!!"

Don't you dare come crying to me later.

And so the meeting between Iris and Magni was arranged.

"Have you now extended the curse of harem-pure-love even to me, Young Master Kassel...!!!"

She properly exploded with outrage and burst into tears all over again.

Arranging Magni and Iris was not difficult. The moment I arrived at the club booth with him in tow, every eye in the vicinity snapped toward us as a matter of course.

At first, people assumed he had come out of interest in the Literature Club, which was currently drawing quite a crowd. Plenty of students were already putting a foot in the door, offering to invest in the club's exhibited works in advance. Magni, who could smell money about as well as Oliver, was more than the type to do exactly that. He and I, however, had come for an entirely different purpose.

"So... you're telling me I have to fake date this person?"

"Yes, that's right."

"The reason being that there are club members who joined because of me? So even if the Young Master inserts himself among them, it shouldn't be a problem?"

"Exactly."

That other purpose was, of course, a double fake relationship: connecting Magni and Iris.

Once she had heard the circumstances, she trembled from head to toe with humiliation and shouted.

"Have you now extended the curse of harem-pure-love even to me, Young Master Kassel...!!! I am truly disappointed!"

"What even is harem-pure-love, my lady?"

"How does a devoted monogamist who only ever looked at one woman end up walking the path of infidelity! You weren't this kind of person, Young Master! Why, why, why...!"

"Just how exactly have you been seeing me?"

Had she actually believed I was some knight of single-minded devotion? To clear up the misunderstanding, I did my best to boil the situation down and explain it.

"As I said before, we need to cooperate if we want to wrap this fake relationship up quickly. Young Master Magni has offered to help. He says that ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠should make the annulment proceed that much more smoothly..."

"That is not the problem right now!"

The moment I finished, Iris barked a sharp rebuke and fired back.

"Kassel, do you truly not know the laws of romance?! A mutually agreed contract relationship! At first they shout, 'We're strictly professional!' but in the end they fall for each other and the whole thing falls apart!"

"I see..."

"And then they look at the person sitting next to their swapped partner and think, 'That's an expression they never used to make for me...'—even jealousy! How can you accept so easily that this is the destiny of a contract relationship!"

The clichés were rolling off her tongue like water.

Magni pulled his eyes off the sobbing Iris and looked at me. We exchanged a brief glance.

Is this young lady always like this?

She's like this fairly often.

And she's actually a decent person?

Hard to believe, but people really did come to the club room just to see her.

Magni's face shifted a little. His expression seemed to answer, Seriously? I understood the feeling perfectly. Even I sometimes wondered whether Iris was actually the heroine.

"Even so, my lady. The situation you're worried about will never happen. If it's drawing a line, I'm more confident than anyone."

"Liar! Can you still say that after yesterday's date?! Put your hand on your heart and say it again!"

"...The thing you're worried about truly won't happen."

Honestly, I had gotten swept up in Beatrice's flow yesterday, but even then I had drawn a proper line. So I could promise that, even in the middle of a fake relationship, nothing would happen that would come back to hurt Iris.

Worst case, if anything happened to you, the status window would throw a fit.

Considering this main scenario, I was planning to go a few rounds of sword-dancing with the status window anyway, so I intended to treat Iris well. After this, and after that, too.

"And! Do you even think this makes sense, logically?! Kassel, you're at least the heir of a border marquis. I'm just the daughter of a rural farming barony! How am I supposed to enter a contract relationship with a ducal heir?!"

While I had been thinking about something else, Iris seized on a practical problem and pointed it out. Her objection, to be fair, had a point.

Call her a rural baron's daughter if you wanted to be generous. The Celine Barony was little better than a village headman's household on farming land, a family with no shortage of shortcomings. For a young lady of that house to catch a ducal heir's eye and start dating? For Magni, of all people—famous for his efficiency—to fall first and keep her as a secret lover?

It was absurd on its face. Even if you wanted to leap ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the limits of station, you needed a background people could actually see. Because Iris was a monstrous prodigy? Until she actually produced results, the word talent was just a pretty label with no substance behind it.

"I understand. I have nothing to say to that."

I nodded as if conceding and pretended to back off. Magni, seeing straight through me, shot me a look of genuine interest.

"But if the background issue is resolved, then this contract relationship is fine—is that what I'm hearing?"

"W-what?!"

"I'll take that as noted for now."

Go on, then. If you want to struggle, struggle all you like.

"Young Master. Just wait until this exhibition. Then everything should more or less be resolved."

Before you are a romance-fantasy heroine, before you are the Ash Saintess—you are in the palm of my hand.

I made the promise with every appearance of reliability, and Magni nodded, moved.

"As expected... you're capable. Heh."

As an inscrutable current flowed between us, Iris clenched her teeth and spoke.

"...Fine. You'd better watch yourself on the last day of the exhibition. I've prepared a finishing move."

And so the day passed, with entirely different thoughts crossing in the air.

"Ah, Senior Yuri."

"H-hieek! I'm sorry, Kassel! This is all part of the operation, so please don't misunderstand! I'm absolutely not avoiding you because I dislike you!"

"...???"

That day, Yuri was unusually busy running away from me.

"Then what about the date?"

"That can wait until the last day! It'll only take a little while, so I'll see you then!"

The second-day date was completely scrapped.

What the hell was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠this?

I tilted my head, unable to make any sense of it at all.

And on top of that, a new problem presented itself.

"My boyfriend's schedule is free today?!"

"Haha! You can't run anymore! Kassel, today you shall date me!"

"Ah, damn it."

Having somehow caught wind of the news, Michelle and Beatrice came charging in like hyenas.