The Weight of a Name
All was quiet in the dead of night. Even Rebecca, who had whined and fussed about not wanting to sleep, had finally been put to bed. Tom and Susan had long since drifted off as well.
I sat alone in the darkness, thinking things through with calm precision.
Then, from the system window that had remained stubbornly silent all this time, a new message appeared.
A new quest has been issued.
From the feel of it, once this quest was over, I would probably be allowed to return to the real world. It only made sense that after finishing one episode, the system would give you a chance to save and take a breather. That must be this anomaly’s own set of rules.
My three months in Eclipse hadn’t been bad at all. But even so, I had a life waiting for me in reality. This place was nothing more than a momentary escape. Even if that life meant holing up in a corner of my room, barely breathing in oxygen and nothing else, the place I belonged was still the real world.
A thin sliver of wind slipped through the gap in the window.
Sna, was it?
The imugi whose memories had been forcibly crammed into my head as part of this so-called tutorial. What exactly had that creature been to me?
The one who had raised “me” when I was a weak, barely-speaking newborn. Should I be shouting for revenge and drawing a blade?
I let out a small snort.
Of course not.
I was a five-year-old brat. If Tom hadn’t taken me in, I would have been sold off as a slave at this pathetic age. Revenge was a luxury I couldn’t afford.
Then what was the right thing to do? Should I feel gratitude toward the bastard who had dragged me into civilized life?
Fuck that.
Yeah. From the very beginning, there had only ever been one thing I could do.
Do what was within my means, then go back to reality.
“Yeah, I’m heading out for a bit, Han.”
“Yes, Mister Tom.”
“Kid, I told you to speak comfortably. You’re making me feel awkward.”
“…Yes.”
Tom rested his elbows on the table, chin propped in his hand, and stared at me from across the way with a steady gaze.
“Did your memories come back? Are you going home?”
“No, sir. There’s just… something I absolutely have to do.”
“Can’t I come with you?”
“Yes. That would be… a little difficult.”
Tom tilted his head, clearly displeased.
“Han, you know your words sound pretty strange, right?”
“I understand.”
Who in their right mind would accept a five-year-old saying he was going on a journey? The normal reaction would be to jump up and declare it nonsense.
“But you… yeah, you’re a clever kid. Maybe ‘clever’ isn’t even enough. Anyway, you’re definitely not normal. At first I thought you might be a dragon hatchling or something.”
…Because the inside is a two-thousand-year-old vampire.
“But after living with you, I can tell you really are a five-year-old. A very pure one, at that.”
Uh… yes?
“I’m not your parent, so I can’t stop you. Going on a trip is your choice.”
Tom’s face openly showed his complicated feelings.
“But listen, Han. Being an adult also means having the duty to protect children.”
“…”
“All that talk about oppression is bullshit. The ones who say that are just people who never grew up properly.”
I understood. Protecting the young was an instinct even animals possessed. Those who denied it were vermin who used reason as an excuse to act superior while going against their natural instincts.
“Haa.”
Tom let out a long sigh and rubbed his forehead with a thick hand.
“If Rebecca had said the same thing, I would’ve broken her ankle before I let her go.”
So this was permission, then.
“But damn, I must be possessed by a ghost or something. The way you look at me so seriously and say you have to go… I just can’t say no.”
“I’ll be back soon.”
“How long do you think it’ll take?”
If I went as quickly as possible…
“Four days. I’ll be back within four days.”
Tom exhaled deeply, adjusted his seat, and spoke.
“Han, from now on, no matter what look you give me, I don’t want to see a five-year-old leaving home alone overnight.”
“…”
“So… um… how about becoming my son?”
“Excuse me?”
What the hell was he saying?
“Exactly what it sounds like. If it were my daughter Rebecca, I would’ve stopped her. The fact that I can’t do the same right now really pisses me off.”
“I’ll make sure nothing like this happens again.”
“No, no, that’s not the point. Han, you’ve been with us for well over three months now, haven’t you? Yet you still act like a guest. It bothers me.”
“Well, I am a guest…”
“Haa, where do I even start fixing this. Fine, let’s say you’re a guest for now. But I want you to feel more at ease here.”
His lips pouted in clear dissatisfaction.
“You said you don’t have a home or parents, right? I want to live with you like this. Susan and I already talked it over.”
“I-I…”
The sudden heat rising in my chest made it impossible to hide my bewilderment. I ducked my body behind the stairs.
“Huh? It’s… okay! Ahem… you can refuse, you know.”
“N-no. That’s not… what I…”
“Bwahahaha, what? Were you crying? So you can cry after all.”
Tom clutching his stomach and laughing was incredibly annoying.
That greenhorn brat…
This was… well.
Living as a vampire whose tear ducts didn’t even work, I was simply startled by this bizarre human body. Damn it. I used to be able to watch melodramatic dramas without batting an eye.
“Han! Pfft, you don’t have to be that moved!”
“Hey! I can’t see you properly from up there! Does that mean you accept the offer to become family?”
…It would probably be rude to answer without even showing my face.
I blinked a few times and cautiously peeked my head out from the stairs.
“When I get back. I’ll give you an answer when I get back.”
Tom looked at my face, then trudged up the stairs.
“Alright, there’s no rush. If you become my son, you definitely won’t be allowed to stay out alone anymore.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll make sure there’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“Good. And when you return, I hope you’ll tell me everything someday. It’s not good for a kid to start keeping secrets so early.”
“…Yes.”
He stopped at exactly my eye level and grinned.
His bandit-like beard curled neatly along the corners of his mouth.
“On the way back, practice saying ‘Dad’ a few times in advance.”
“I never said I would become family…!”
“Were you going to say no, then?”
“…”
“Bwahahaha, hearing you call me Dad is going to feel so satisfying.”
The way he slapped my back while shaking with laughter left me in a very foul mood.
Setting aside the fact that I was being toyed with by such a young punk, asking me to call him Dad? That day would never come. Never.
“You really have to be careful, okay? Really!”
“Yes! Thank you, sir!”
“Hey, Han! You didn’t take the sandwiches!”
I had received a lot.
Plenty of travel money, food, cold-weather gear. Tom had repeatedly warned me that the small self-defense knife was only to be used for threats.
Hmm. We’d see.
That day, Rebecca, who had been hiding and eavesdropping, burst into tears the moment she heard I was leaving.
The girl who had sobbed her eyes out had sulked and ignored me completely until this morning, but now—
“Uwaaah… Lee Han! I won’t tell you not to go! I’m sorry for pretending to be mad! But you have to come back quickly! You have to be back after I sleep just a few nights!”
That tiger-like brat. The second I thought of her, she came running right out.
I smiled and waved my hand.
This was Zachsen, the border town in the Larsen Kingdom closest to the Talan Jungle. It would cost a bit, but if I took a carriage, I could reach the jungle in half a day.
The real problem was finding Sna’s nest somewhere inside that vast jungle. Still, my gut told me that once I entered the jungle, I would be able to locate it within a day.
Normally I wouldn’t trust something like “gut feeling,” but when it came from a two-thousand-year-old vampire, it had already crossed into the realm of foresight. It was safe to believe.
By my calculations, four days at the most. I would be back within that time.
As expected, traveling in the body of a child was no easy task. But at least I didn’t have to pretend to be a helpless kid, so maybe this was more comfortable.
I had grabbed the collar of a coachman trying to overcharge me, and I had pressed a knife to the throat of some thug looking for a fight. Compared to a vampire’s body, this one was merely human, but it was still far from ordinary.
The only reason I had been caught by that yellow-toothed back-alley vagrant and human trafficker was because my body hadn’t been in normal condition at the time.
I ignored the commoners’ exaggerated warnings that even the outskirts of the jungle were dangerous and strode confidently inside.
The various venomous insects and predators of the jungle posed no threat. Not only would I not fall to them, but a strange scene unfolded where the creatures instead slunk away from me.
The only issue was the distance.
“What are you?”
A deer suddenly appeared before me, stared intently, then knelt and offered its back.
“…Are you telling me to get on?”
It was an extremely suspicious situation, but there was no reason to be hostile toward an animal. For some reason, it felt familiar from the memories left behind by “Lee Han.”
When I climbed on, the deer began trotting quickly toward a specific destination. The Deer Express, complete with rest stops whenever it grew tired.
After camping for one night by a fire, I arrived at Sna’s nest early the next morning.
The scorched landscape and the chaotic traces of battle. Since there were no cleaners here, the marks from three months ago were relatively well preserved.
And at the center of the scene, I found Sna’s half-burned corpse.
Pathetic and lonely, all alone.
Charred and decayed, with only the hide left clinging to its bones.
I dug with the shovel I had brought.
I dug and dug, centering around the massive remains of Sna.
I didn’t know the customs of this place, but a memorial only needed to carry the heart of the one performing it. This was my way.
While I spent nearly the entire day noisily digging, the animals of the jungle gradually came to help. Creatures that felt both familiar and unfamiliar from memory lent their claws and hooves.
I covered it with a thin layer of soil, decorated it with flowers, and finally carved and planted a headstone.
Sna
“Sna, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Lee Han.”
The subject of this memorial felt a little off, and it caught in my throat.
“No, I might not be the Lee Han you knew. I’m sorry. The Lee Han you tried so hard to protect… that wasn’t me. It might be hard to understand, but that’s the truth.”
I placed a hand over my heart and lowered my head.
“But Sna, I will live as Lee Han. So I will carry both that child’s past and future on my shoulders.”
I pay my respects.
“I don’t remember my parents. The Lee Han you knew was abandoned by them. In that sense, you were my first parent.”
A silent prayer for the dead parent.
“I don’t know if you took in an abandoned child in the jungle out of kindness or mere whim. But one thing is certain. This Lee Han… and this body…”
I could feel the heartbeat thumping beneath the hand pressed to my chest.
“…feels affection for you and mourns your death endlessly. Thank you, Sna. I am a life you saved and a soul you raised. As long as this life continues to breathe…”
I swallowed quietly and steadied my breath.
“I will remember you.”
So.
“Goodbye, my big guardian.”
I’m sorry, Sna.
That the one offering the farewell is me.
You were not a demon.
I will remember you as someone warmer than anyone else.
May you rest in peace.
The return journey was just as arduous as the way there had been. But they say home is sweet, right?
It had only been three months, yet why did returning home feel so comforting?
With a heart both heavy and strangely light, I arrived back at Tom’s house only to be greeted by a shattered front door and bloodstained footprints.
I couldn’t breathe.