The Behemoth Is No Living Thing
It is not a living creature.
"Uh... isn't it usually the other way around?"
"This one is the one offering to treat, so have you an objection?"
Besides, I seem to recall telling her several times not to lump me in with 'people in general' — but if this is what my so-called normal looks like, what can one do? Ah well, she did give me a gift, after all.
"No, no, it's not that."
"Then have you a film in mind?"
"There's one! It just opened yesterday, and the viewers are all saying it's great."
Frankly speaking, I do not place much faith in 'viewers.' If it proves truly dreadful, I suppose I could always spend the time training instead.
"And what manner of popcorn will you have?"
"I like caramel! What about you, Teach?"
"I eat anything, so caramel it shall be."
As long as it is outrageously sweet, like eating candy outright, it will suit me fine.
"We shall now enter the theater. We will speak again when it ends."
Well then. It seems there is at least one person looking after Aso.
"This is seriously good, apparently. It's a sequel to Top Gun, they say..."
And so what we came to watch was a follow-up to a film called Top Gun. Watching Aso explain it with the fervor of a true believer, I could tell she genuinely loved it.
"Mm."
How curious.
As the credits rolled and the audience filed out of the theater, Aso's face had gone completely scarlet, her excitement impossible to contain.
"Compose yourself a little."
"Haaah... Yes!"
I said compose yourself, girl.
Truthfully, I find it decent viewing — aside from the men and women being reversed, that is. Still, it is alien enough to me that I struggle to lose myself in it. But the modern warfare I never had the chance to experience properly was fascinating, I will admit.
"A fine film, that."
"Right? It really was..."
But look how much time has passed. It is about time we parted ways.
Leaving behind Aso, still adrift in the lingering afterglow and unable to find her way out of it, I turned on my broadcast — and sure enough, the very chat messages I expected came swimming into view.
"Aso got rather worked up. I am calming her down even now, though it is proving no easy task."
"What?! You can't just SAY that out loud!"
"Well. It happened just as I said."
"N-no, no, it's not—! Teach...! If you keep this up I'm going to get freeze-framed on Wetube as 'Aso Gets Flustered at the Movie Theater'!"
If you ask me, the way she's screaming right at this very moment is precisely what a thumbnail should look like.
"Calm yourself. Breathe, in and out."
"Yees... yees..."
"Are you calm now?"
"Yees..."
"Even if I could hypnotize you, rest assured — there would be no occasion to use it upon the likes of you."
So kindly cease your idle fantasies.
"Today made for an enjoyable time."
"Uh... yes. Yes?"
"We shall do this again sometime. This one will be occupied with the Abyss for a while yet, so feel free to reach out whenever suits you."
"Yeees sir."
Even as she answered, her expression said she could not grasp the situation at all. One might read it as, 'Where am I? Who am I?'
"My thanks — I had a good time as well."
When I offered the greeting once more, only then did Aso finish grasping reality and return it.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"I was not rejected! We were never dating in the first place, so what even—!"
"Then, until we meet again."
"Sh-should I walk you home?"
"Do I appear to require an escort?"
"No."
Goodness, how decisive. She's cutting me down like a blade through paper.
"So it is."
"Get home safe!"
With a wave toward Aso, who bowed her head in a deep, polite farewell, I made my way home.
Upon arriving, I finished a shower, folded the clothing Aso had given me with care, and tucked it away in a drawer. Then, having changed back into my familiar attire, I settled into bed with the thought that it had been a pleasant day.
I closed my eyes; when I opened them, it was morning.
Dreams are a luxury for one of Murim. There were those who trained even within their dreams, and many a night left one feeling as though no sleep had come at all. But that no longer troubles me.
"Morning has come, has it."
So I murmur, simply confirming that a new day has arrived. Time is all too fleeting for a martial artist of Murim. And yet I have never once heard of anyone idling it away, shutting themselves in seclusion for this reason or that. Seclusion, surely, is something one does briefly, only when the need for solitude arises — is that not enough?
"At last, the day I satisfy my curiosity has come."
Connecting to the virtual reality device and starting my broadcast, the viewer count began to climb — not quite at its usual pace, but briskly enough.
"Good morning to you all."
"A... private home guard?"
I have not the faintest idea what manner of occupation that might be.
"How curious — it sounds rather like my own line of work. After all, this one guards his own home as well."
Whether any scoundrel possesses the audacity to intrude upon my residence is, of course, a separate matter entirely.
Judging by their words, one thing is certain: that was in no way meant kindly. Somehow or other, I have found myself joining in their jesting.
"No matter. Let us begin the Abyss."
Dear me. I know not whether an irregular heartbeat is such a common ailment, but do take care of yourselves. One must learn to cherish oneself... yes, cherish oneself indeed.
So that you do not end up making such foolish displays... that is.
"I simply could not contain myself, wondering what those spiders and that Behemoth feed upon to survive."
Ah well — what is past is past. Let us attend to the present.
There is virtue in waiting patiently, true enough. But the man who could keep his hands still with the truth resting right there upon his palm — I doubt one could count such men on one hand across all of Murim. And I am not one of them.
"Now, then. It is time to open the box."
I close my eyes; I open them. I find myself lying in the VIP chamber's bed from last time, gazing up at the ceiling.
"I'll take the skip."
Come to think of it, last session did end on a somewhat sour note. I already issued my warning, and I eased my mood by playing with Aso — so what does it matter now?
"Pay it no mind. This one's memory is too fine to forget it easily, but I shall not hold it against you."
So I have become named as the 'Cult Leader' now, have I? Truly, it is an inimitable character I cut...
"Yes. So long as everything stays at the level of good fun, all is well."
Once the whole of the night had passed and the skip ended, I stepped out of my room — and knights bustling about every which way caught my eye. I caught one of them and asked:
"What business is it that has you all rushing about so?"
"S-Seojun, sir! It concerns the Abyss matter that you reported to Her Imperial Highness Shilla yesterday."
His pronunciation was hardly natural — but at least he did not call me 'Seojju' like a certain someone. Small mercies.
Though that certain someone's ranks have swelled considerably of late, I must say.
"The Imperial Princess Shilla, you say?"
Wait — did I meet an imperial princess yesterday? Of all those I encountered, the only one who could be called a princess was the holy knight.
Her bearing was certainly befitting of a member of the imperial house; more to the point, she was the very one who relayed the matter of the Behemoth. But for a scion of the imperial family to take the field of battle in person?
"...Pardon?"
As we stood there staring at one another, both awash in confusion, I saw yesterday's holy knight hurrying toward us from down the corridor.
"Sir Seojun — you have risen."
"I have. The bed was most comfortable. But — you were the Imperial Princess, were you?"
"Ah — forgive my discourtesy. Allow me to introduce myself properly. I am Shilla de Stia, Second Imperial Princess of the Stia Empire."
I had sensed something out of the ordinary, certainly — but never imagined she was the Princess herself.
"Indeed. This one is the swordsman Cheon Seojun. But seeing you all so busy this early in the morning — it seems something has gone amiss."
Compared to her greeting, mine may have seemed humble indeed — but my name, Cheon Seojun: those three syllables tell one more than any title could.
...Though, of course, this is not Murim.
"I shall explain as we walk. I must ask your understanding for relaying things in such haste — there is little time."
For an Imperial Princess, she pays me respect far too lavish. That excessive deference of hers is rather like watching the junior disciples of Murim — as though she could not dare meet my eyes. To be sure, her deference is excessive; but now that I know she bears the rank of Imperial Princess, I cannot help but wonder why she lowers herself so.
"First — the matter of yesterday's Behemoth."
But there was a far more pressing question at hand. The Behemoth — what in the world was that creature? Why had it eaten nothing at all?
"Yes. It has troubled me all along. What, in heaven's name, was that thing?"
At last, the question will be answered.
"That Behemoth is not a living creature."