Commander, Counseling (5)

It was a little too mild to really call it a storm.

Still, the gale that had come howling in at the crack of dawn finally blew itself out, and Hitsuko and I settled into the day's work in earnest.

"Commander, would you kindly review this?"

"Ah, thanks."

One thing I hadn't expected: Hitsuko's talent for paperwork was surprisingly, genuinely excellent. Startled by the quality of her work, I'd asked her about it, and she'd explained that it was something she'd often handled back ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠home as part of her duties as a successor. She wasn't exaggerating. There was a practiced, professional touch in everything she did. A few rough patches showed here and there, but even those were so minor that a light correction put them right. I could have stamped the lot of it as-is and no one would have complained — though part of that, I had to admit, was that my own standards had gotten unreasonably high.

...Right. She was the Head of the Information Department.

The previous Adjutant flickered through my mind, and a dry little laugh slipped out of me. You wouldn't have guessed it from her looks or her behavior, but my predecessor just so happened to be the single most terrifyingly competent person in that entire field. Comparing the two of them was a little unfair. If anything, the fact that Hitsuko could even hold a candle to Calia was impressive in its own right.

...Then again, that same brilliant predecessor had kicked up an absolute circus first thing this morning.

There wasn't a single thing that woman wouldn't say in front of a child. Were she and I really supposed to be the same species of adult...?

"Hitsuko...?"

"Yes, Commander."

"Are you alright? You don't look well."

See? She'd been yelled at so relentlessly that the poor girl had gone completely wilted. On top of that, I could see her blaming herself — as if the whole morning mess had been her fault. She was doing her best to hide it, but that kind of thing didn't work on me.

"It is nothing. Truly."

Of course, people like her always denied it out loud. But I caught the faint tremor that ran through her voice all the same, and I wasn't about to let it slide.

Left alone, she'd probably bounce back on her own, but...

...Hmm.

This still felt like something I needed to address.

"Really?"

"Of course. I would never tell a lie..."

"If you tell me the truth, I'll give you a reward."

The utterly out-of-nowhere offer painted Hitsuko's face with pure bewilderment. I ignored it, spun my chair to face her, let a small smile tug at the corner of my mouth — and spread my arms wide.

"..."

Hitsuko stared at me as if she could bore a hole through my skull. Then her whole face flushed crimson, and she started fidgeting. She'd figured out what the "reward" was. The way she kept twitching in place made it obvious she wanted to come over — she just couldn't quite bring herself to bolt into my arms. She wavered like that for a long moment... and then, without a word, she crossed the space between us and nestled right into my embrace.

"...That is unkind."

"That's just how adults are."

"Truly, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠truly unkind."

"I'm a bad person. Didn't you know?"

I stroked her gently as her arms tightened around me. To look at her, she was every inch the haughty young lady of a wealthy house — but like this, she was nothing more than a child. How was I supposed to harbor those kinds of feelings toward her when she was like this? Absolutely not. No way.

"Don't take it so hard. It wasn't your fault, was it?"

"Even so..."

"Nothing's going to change, so you can relax. The counseling schedule is staying as it is for the time being."

The others had petitioned me to adjust the counseling period, true. That didn't mean I had any intention of touching it right now. This was only the first week. Jumping in and changing things already was far too soon. We hadn't even gotten a proper trial run yet — slashing the duration out of the gate would be asking for chaos.

If they had a problem with it, they could impeach me and take the job themselves. I'd be perfectly happy as a bum.

"...Commander."

"Hm? Want to get down now?"

"That is not it."

I was still entertaining pleasant visions of unemployment when Hitsuko gave my back a little pat. What, was she saying she felt better now and we should get back to work?

"A kiss... if you would."

She whispered it, and shyly offered up her pale forehead.

...A kiss, out of nowhere? That caught me off guard. It almost felt like I was being confessed to.

Well... she wants it there, then?

"If you truly find it disagreeable, you need not force yourself..."

"Sure. Why not."

I leaned in and pressed my lips to her forehead.

Well. Not like I had any reason not to.

"C-Commander...?!"

"What? You asked me to."

"B-but... I never thought you would actually...!"

"Do you have any idea how precious you are to me? You think I wouldn't do something like this?"

With all the years I had under my belt, a little kiss on the forehead was nothing. It wasn't on the lips. At this point, it was just a gesture of affection, wasn't it? If we were around the same age it might have been open to misunderstanding — but she was a child, for crying out loud. No need to be stingy about it. It wasn't as if my lips were going to wear out.

"...Commander."

"Mm. What is it?"

"Commander, you would do well to recognize how fragile you yourself are."

"...Huh?"

Apparently Hitsuko did not share my assessment. She gave a firm little shake of her head and offered the advice in a tone of grave solemnity.

...The fact that her face was visibly burning rather undercut the effect.

"If you say such things so casually, even I cannot predict what I might do."

"Ah. Right. I'll... try...?"

...Though I hadn't the faintest idea where, or how, or at what I was supposed to be trying.

After work, I stopped by the shop for the first time since the possession.

Hitsuko had said she'd skip today's counseling, which left me with a sudden hole in my schedule. Doing nothing at all sounded boring, so I figured I might as well grab a snack and eat it by myself.

Which was how I ended up at the one and only convenience store in all of Firma. In game terms, it was the cash shop — the place you went to swipe your credit card. The scale of it could have passed for a hypermarket without anyone batting an eye, but since a single person ran the entire operation, everyone just called it a convenience store.

That said, the place was open twenty-four hours. How did that even work? Did she have like four bodies or something?

"Hey, Mel."

"Ah, Commander. Looking for something?"

"Nothing special. Just came to grab some bread."

"Is that so? The bakery section is over that way — please, take your time."

"Thanks. But what's that door?"

I was heading in the direction Mel had indicated when I noticed a pink door standing ever so slightly ajar. Something about it snagged at my attention in a way I couldn't quite ignore. What was that?

"Oh? Is the Commander interested in that as well?"

"Huh? No, I was just curious. Do you actually sell something in there?"

"We certainly do. You didn't know? I'll have to show you, then."

...Wait. It wasn't a storage closet?

I was still tilting my head when Mel took my hand and pulled me along. Trying to clear up my confusion, I supposed. Turning her down felt awkward, and I was curious anyway, so I let myself be led inside without a fuss.

"Wha—?"

The sight that unfolded in front of me stopped me cold.

Handcuffs. Blindfolds. Rope. Tape. Gags. Massagers...?

...This was a full-blown adult shop. Why were they selling this here? Did they even have a permit?

And what were those medicine bottles doing next to them? They didn't belong there at all — so why were they sitting right alongside?

"People have been asking for this kind of thing a lot lately, you know? So I went ahead and made a whole section for it."

"...Why?"

"Who knows? I certainly don't."

A prickle of suspicion made me press her, but Mel just took a step back, claiming she sold whatever turned a profit and that was the end of it. Something about her smelled like she was hiding more than she let on, but prying it out of her here felt like more trouble than it was worth. If they were selling it this ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠openly, I'd find out whether I wanted to or not.

I bought the bread and drinks I'd actually come for and turned to head back to my room.

"Anyway — do take care of yourself, alright?"

"...Yeah. I'll... do that...?"

Mel left me with that oddly loaded remark. Asking her to explain felt like a bad idea, so I gave her a vague answer and let it go.

...But was there any reason I needed to be careful?

...What is this.

It was dark.

A darkness without a single scrap of light sealed my eyes shut completely. In a pitch-black void that looked ready to swallow even the sun, I stood alone.

Where... am I?

I remembered going into my room. I wanted to confirm something — anything — but I couldn't see a thing. I waited minutes, and even dark adaptation never came.

I was frowning at the strangeness of it when, before long, I heard footsteps.

Click. Click.

...A chill ran through me.

A shiver of instinctive dread crawled up my spine. I threw every ounce of strength I had into my body, thrashing to get out of whatever this was — but my limbs were locked in place, and I couldn't move so much as an inch.

Thud.

And those few seconds I'd spent straining for nothing were more than enough for the owner of those footsteps to show herself.

...There was no way I wouldn't know her.

She was the one who had attacked me on that recent trip to Berta. The one who had used a senator as a puppet and then murdered him. The one who had carved this trauma into me in the first place.

Her voice sounded, faintly, as if it were echoing from inside a cave — but that hardly mattered. The same long black hair as that day. The same dress code of unrelieved black from head to toe. Even in a darkness that held not a single source of light between us, her figure alone stood out with unnatural clarity — as if demanding that I remember her, and remember her well.

A surge of anger I couldn't name rose in my throat, and I tried to shout something, anything—

"...! ...!"

No sound came out. Something was caught around my neck. No amount of straining made a difference. And before long, even the attempt itself was cut off.

Shiiing.

The woman in black brought the great scythe in her hands up to my throat.

It was cold.

A blade that would slice through human flesh as if it were nothing sat just beneath my neck. My chin was locked in her grip, so I couldn't look down — but I felt it all the same, in my bones. The moment she swept that scythe upward would be the end of me. Even a three-year-old would have understood that.

...I understood it too.

...This is it?

The terror of death crept over me, slow and certain. I'd always expected I'd end up in danger someday, but nothing like this had ever been in the calculations. I was so afraid I could barely think, and I reached for the experience I'd accumulated as "the Commander" for something — anything — to hold onto.

Even that was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠useless here. All it gave me back was a thicker, heavier dread.

Was I really going to die?

Like this — with no one around, lonely, and powerless?

"Finally. It's just the two of us."

She had no interest in what I was feeling. She simply started talking, as if the words had been waiting on her tongue.

The instant those words left her mouth, the cold edge of the blade began to carve up through my throat—

"Hah—!"

I sat bolt upright, eyes flying open.

"Hah... hah..."

My heart was hammering as if it would burst. My breathing was rougher than it had ever been. And still, I couldn't calm down at all.

How could I? Everyone around me called me Commander and held me up like I was something special — but until not long ago, I had been an ordinary person. As long as I still had human feelings, how was I supposed to be fine after that?

"Nnh... hh..."

With a hand shaking like a leaf, I slowly touched my neck.

...It was still there.

Not a mark. Not a gap. Still attached, exactly where it should be.

I had survived.

I hadn't died in that cold, distant place.

A thin thread of relief wound through me, and I looked around, slowly.

...The familiar bed. The lights were off, so it was dark — but this was the same room I saw every morning and every night. My pajamas were plastered to my skin with sweat. The sheets, the blanket, everything was damp. And even so, there was no question. This was my room.

Which meant...

"...A dream?"