Chapter 97
Chapter 97
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 97
Chapter Title: vs 08/09 Bayern Munich -1
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***
“Chan-hyuk, then you should come over to Munich, right? I mean, we're Bayern Munich.”
Philipp Lahm just laughed it off, brushing past my suggestion.
Well. I had tried to recruit him once, but the chances of Lahm coming to Union Berlin were practically zero.
For German players, Bayern Munich was practically a dream club.
Unfortunately, the status gap between Bayern Munich and Union Berlin was still starkly clear.
‘To begin with, if he were going to join another team, he would have done it ages ago.’
Plus, Jürgen Klinsmann would be sacked from his Bayern Munich managerial post before the end of the season...
Beep—!
Anyway, the referee's whistle blew, and the Union Berlin vs. Bayern Munich match kicked off. Klinsmann's face was beaming with smiles.
‘Well, yeah. If I were managing a team like Munich, I'd be grinning too.’
Klinsmann sat on the bench, utterly relaxed.
I found myself tensing up a little without realizing it.
Thomas Tuchel had managed Bayern Munich, so Klinsmann's tactical outlook might have shifted somewhat.
And Bayern Munich as a club was a straight-up bully purely on the basis of its pedigree.
Under Jürgen Klinsmann, they'd racked up 25 wins and 9 draws in 44 games.
Klinsmann got the boot because of those '10' losses.
Bayern Munich was supposed to crush the league.
‘...Yeah, it's a little intimidating.’
But not long after kickoff.
I started feeling intimidated for a whole different reason.
‘...What the hell tactic is that?’
I couldn't make heads or tails of Jürgen Klinsmann's setup.
***
Bayern Munich's current tactic was straightforward.
Hoof it long from the back, Luca Toni wins the headers, and Klose and Ribéry sort out the goals themselves.
The very definition of ‘let 'em have it’ soccer.
‘At least there's no U-shaped buildup. Silver lining, I guess.’
For reference, Klinsmann's Bayern Munich wasn't just a mess in attack tactics—their defense was a disaster too.
‘Come to think of it, didn't Philipp Lahm say in his autobiography there was zero tactical training, just endless fitness drills?’
Watching Bayern Munich's tactics unfold made Lahm's deadpan reaction totally relatable.
Thomas Tuchel to Jürgen Klinsmann.
‘This... is kinda rough.’
Well... not everyone was grim-faced. A few players actually looked brighter.
Tuchel wasn't exactly the warm and fuzzy type, so he probably hadn't been on great terms with the squad.
***
‘...Huh, this is more manageable than I thought?’
Union Berlin's players, who'd been on edge remembering last season's Bayern Munich, started thinking the game felt winnable as it went on.
Union Berlin's Brazilian connection stonewalled Bayern Munich's attacks.
Union Berlin's midfielders overwhelmed the central battle through tactical overloads.
Union Berlin's forwards kept rattling Bayern Munich's backline, churning out solid chances.
As the clock ticked, Union Berlin's tension melted away.
The momentum swung naturally toward Union Berlin.
Yannick Poit took Luka Modrić's through ball and sized it up.
With Oliver Kahn retired at the end of last season, Michael Rensing had the gloves.
There was none of the dread Kahn brought. Rensing felt approachable.
He stayed as cool as possible, swinging his right foot.
But right as he connected, the ball took an awkward bounce.
Tick—
It clipped his boot, squirting toward the keeper.
‘Ah... flubbed it.’
The instant Yannick Poit clocked his error and grabbed his head.
Splash.
The ball, arrowing right at the keeper, ripped into Bayern Munich's net.
Bayern Munich keeper Michael Rensing had botched the save.
Rensing fumbled the greasy ball straight into his own goal.
An absurd blunder that you wouldn't believe from a Bundesliga shot-stopper.
‘...Did that actually go in?’
Even Yannick Poit, the scorer, felt more shock than joy.
“Whoooooooo—!”
Yannick Poit stood frozen like a statue in front of goal for ages until Park Chan-hyuk's whoop yanked him back to reality.
“...My celebration!”
***
I pulled off the season's first reaction steal—no, celebration hijack.
Allianz Arena's crowd hit me with boos—no, cheers?
“Boooooooooo—!”
“You bastard!! You pouring gas on the fire right now?!”
Truth be told, I hadn't expected the celebration steal to land either.
‘...Did that even work?’
After Yannick Poit's goal, I'd just stared at the net in a daze.
My brain couldn't register it as a goal.
‘...Hold up, Yannick's not celebrating?’
That snapped me awake—Yannick skipping the celly.
I bolted straight to the corner flag and unleashed the whoop.
My celebration obsession outran Yannick Poit by a mile.
***
“Goaaaaaaal—! Yannick Poit! Yannick Poit's opener!”
The moment Bayern Munich's net rippled, the roars exploded.
Union Berlin's hot streak meant fat bonuses.
“Ah.... That's a killer error from keeper Michael Rensing.”
“Exactly. Lady Luck's smiling on Union Berlin!”
And right then.
Naver overseas soccer article comments were blowing up.
[Union Berlin strikes first vs. Bayern Munich. Goal: Yannick Poit!]
└ lmao
└ Whoa ㅋㅋ Thought Munich just choked hard, but Union Berlin scored first?
└ Bundesliga leaders right now lmao
└ What the hell's with that keeper? Gloves dipped in oil?
└ Rubbed my eyes when he spilled it.
└ Swear it looked like match-fixing.
└ Why no Son Heung-min in today's squad?
└ Beijing Olympics duty, now resting.
└ Ah, explains no Japanese players too.
└ Btw, what's this Park Chan-hyuk personality drama?
└ Ppl saying he talked down to Five Star Red Wings players post-game.
└ ? Can't a manager speak casually?
└ Park Chan-hyuk's way younger than them tho...
└ Oh...?
└ Park Chan-hyuk's 23, legit maknae status lol
└ Mind blown;;;
└ Lmao if Park Chan-hyuk enlisted, he'd get wrecked.
└ Why'd Park Chan-hyuk skip military?
└ Park Jung-ah-nim: Tore his ACL celebrating, got exempt.
└ ...Dude?
└ Park Jung-ah-nim: Fair, can't argue that.
For the record, Park Chan-hyuk's casual speech slip-up came from him blanking on his own age—a total non-issue.
***
The Union Berlin vs. Bayern Munich match rolled on.
This game drove home why soccer's a manager's playground.
The Bayern Munich that steamrolled the league, Champions League, and Pokal last season? Ancient history.
After the opener, Bayern's players tried dusting off last year's playbook.
Sadly, Union Berlin ate it alive.
“Switch to Plan B!”
Park Chan-hyuk spotted Bayern Munich's formation and called it from the touchline—shattering it on the spot.
Right now, no one knew Thomas Tuchel's tactics like Park Chan-hyuk.
Tuchel's system was built on Park Chan-hyuk's future intel from the jump.
Inevitably, it baked in Park Chan-hyuk's soccer philosophy too.
Park Chan-hyuk was the one who'd fed Tuchel those future tactics, after all.
Anyway.
Park Chan-hyuk turned Bayern Munich's ‘player’ tactics against them.
Fifteen minutes later, Union Berlin doubled up.
Yannick Poit dragged Bayern Munich's defenders with a dummy run.
Robert Lewandowski ghosted into the gap.
Luka Modrić's lofted pass found Lewandowski.
Lewandowski chested it down coolly, then rifled a low, vicious shot home.
[Goaaaaaaal!! It's in! Union Berlin leads by two! Union Berlin drops the Bundesliga's kings, Bayern Munich, to their knees!]
└ Holy shit Union Berlin's thrashing Munich? Time to rethink Union Berlin fr.
└ Five Star Red Wings lucky it was only 10-0 smh lol
└ 10-1 btw^^
Jürgen Klinsmann's grin started to fade.
***
Meanwhile.
Park Chan-hyuk leaped from the bench at Robert Lewandowski's strike.
Daniel Teixeira eyed him with a helpless sigh.
“...! Chan-hyuk!”
Out of nowhere, Park Chan-hyuk crumpled to the turf.
“You okay? What happened...!”
Union Berlin's staff sprinted over, faces drained white.
Park Chan-hyuk flashed an awkward grin at the crowd around him.
“Cramp. Got a cramp.”
“Argh! Cramp? Scream next time! Thought you were having a heart attack!”
“Yelling would've made me sound like a chick.”
That day, Union Berlin's players fought the urge to stomp their manager.