Realization (3)
It was after I finished the second round of grocery shopping and came back home.
Cheon Seo-hui, who had been taking the boxes of goods from me inside the house, narrowed her brows and asked offhandedly.
"…Didn't you buy too much?"
"Too much? I barely bought anything."
That was what I said, but it wasn't exactly a small haul.
The receipt alone listed over thirty items, and we had brought in two full boxes plus a large shopping bag stuffed to the brim. Calling it "barely anything" was a bit of a stretch.
From my perspective, though, even this still felt nowhere near enough.
I should have bought more.
The one receiving never truly understands the heart of the one who wants to take care of them.
"Anyway. Let's get this all put away first."
"…Okay…."
Together we set about carefully organizing everything we had bought.
"…Where does this go?"
At one point a strange phenomenon occurred where the actual homeowner was the one asking me for locations.
"Ah, give me that. All the seasonings and condiments are going by the sink."
They were items she would never look for anyway, so I simply arranged them where they would be convenient for me.
Doing this, it almost felt like we were putting things away in a home we shared.
Come to think of it, Yubin and I had planned to live together once.
Back before Nakyeong was even born, when I was completely head-over-heels for Kim Yubin.
We had promised that once we returned to our original world, the two of us would live together.
We used to spend nights just imagining how we would decorate the place.
"I really want a house with a veranda."
"Why?"
"It'd be nice to grow little plants. Like lettuce—pick it and eat it right there."
"You can grow that kind of thing?"
"Of course."
I never managed to grant her wish of growing lettuce on a veranda, but tomatoes were thriving on ours instead.
Nakyeong had been tending them ever since we moved into the apartment.
Just so no one can claim she's not Kim Yubin's daughter—even her tastes are identical.
Anyway.
"That about covers it?"
Once the groceries were put away, I tied on the new cat-print apron I had bought.
It was time to properly fill Cheon Seo-hui's stomach until it was round and full….
"…What are you doing?"
I found her already tearing open a bag of snacks.
"?"
Crunch. She popped a potato chip into her mouth right in front of me and spoke as if nothing were wrong.
"I'm hungry."
How many times did she have to flip my insides inside out before she felt satisfied?
I raised my voice without meaning to and started scolding her.
"Hey, we're about to eat! Who snacks right before a meal!?"
"I'm not allowed to?"
"If you eat chips now you won't be able to eat dinner later!"
"I can eat both."
Her utterly shameless answer left me speechless. I quietly gestured and confiscated the potato chips.
"Hunger is the best seasoning. Don't you know that? Hand them over."
"Tch…."
I snuck a taste of one myself. Salty and actually pretty good.
Perfect beer snack.
I was getting hungry too.
"Save these for later as a snack. Got it?"
"…Fiiine."
Telling her to come out later to taste-test, I pushed Cheon Seo-hui into her room, then rubbed my hands together and surveyed the kitchen.
Where to start.
Today's main dishes were doenjang stew and beef bulgogi.
For side dishes I had prepared a three-piece dried set—shredded dried squid, anchovies, and stir-fried shrimp—plus soy-braised beef and the rest.
Because the sudden grocery run had eaten up so much time, I needed to finish everything as fast as possible.
Might as well get the stew going first.
Time to show off the skills of a twelve-year neighborhood mom-café veteran and eighth-dan housewife.
In the dimly lit room, Cheon Seo-hui leaned against a roughly bunched-up blanket and played a game on her phone.
It was an old mobile management simulation where you built a farm and decorated a house.
The game was about to hit its tenth anniversary and could shut down at any time, but Seo-hui—who never really had any proper hobbies—still logged in faithfully every day to tend her farm.
Tractor driving complete!
She was blankly tapping at her phone, waiting for the meal to finish, when—
"……."
Her finger suddenly stopped moving across the screen.
Through the crack in the door, a delicious smell drifting in from the living room had begun to tickle her nose.
Doenjang stew.
How long had it been since she last smelled doenjang stew cooking at home?
Come to think of it, the last home-cooked meal that man had eaten before he died had also been doenjang stew.
"……."
Unbidden, old memories rose, and Seo-hui's face twisted.
The existence called "Dad" who had left an indelible scar on her left arm.
Even with the kindest possible wording, Seo-hui's father had been a hard man to call a decent head of household.
Severe gambling addiction, alcoholism, and even domestic violence.
Having achieved that triple crown, he never managed to hold down a proper job and spent his whole life bouncing between day-labor construction sites.
People in the neighborhood who knew the situation called Seo-hui a miracle.
A miracle who had grown up quietly and without going astray in the worst possible household.
"How did a kid grow up that pretty?"
"Right? Never even caused any trouble…."
Naturally, Seo-hui never particularly liked those looks directed at her.
She hadn't wanted to grow up like a miracle. She had wanted to grow up ordinary, in an ordinary house, like everyone else.
Having never once in her life been ordinary, Seo-hui felt more keenly than anyone how hard it was to simply be ordinary.
Especially on "that day."
A day when a late monsoon rain poured down hard.
A day when the man called Dad had been out drinking instead of looking for work.
A day when, instead of just resting at home, he had crawled outside insisting he would gamble.
Having lost an even more spectacular amount of money than usual, he came home completely out of his mind and said:
"Fuck, this shitty life…. What's the point of living like this? Let's just die together!"
Seo-hui had been through similar scenes often enough that she planned to ignore him again and come back in the early morning.
But that day was different.
"What are you doing!?"
"How long are we supposed to live like this? Huh? We should get to live like actual people too!!!"
He pulled out a dust-covered kitchen knife, fixed his bloodshot eyes on Seo-hui, and said:
"Let's go see Mom."
He meant it.
"Are you crazy!? If you're going to die, die by yourself!!!"
"What…? You…? You little ungrateful bitch…! Are you looking down on me too right now? Huh!!!"
A father who, in a fit of rage, charged at his daughter with a knife in hand.
Seo-hui tried to subdue him, even using mana.
That was the mistake.
"Ugh…!"
In the process of restraining him she accidentally took a deep stab wound to her left arm.
Thud!
While he, shoved hard, cracked his head and briefly lost consciousness, Seo-hui fled outside in a hurry, blood dripping steadily from her left arm.
That was her final memory of her biological parent.
The man left behind in the house ended his own life as planned.
Not long after, neighbors reported it and the police arrived to clean up the scene.
That day, as she was carried alone and lonely to the emergency room, she resented her fate—more un-ordinary than ever—with a bone-deep bitterness.
"Seo-hui!"
"……."
"Come out and taste this for me!"
Still frowning, Seo-hui slowly pushed herself up at the voice coming from the living room.
"Seo-hui…! Oh. There you are."
In the living room stood Han Dohyeon, dressed up rather handsomely and wearing a cute apron, ladle in hand.
He was filling the air with the warm, familiar smell of home cooking she hadn't smelled in years.
It suits him.
Seo-hui found that strange sight not bad at all.
"…What is it?"
"Try the broth first."
Completely unaware, Dohyeon carefully held out a small dish of broth with a serious face.
"……."
Maybe it was hunger. Or maybe it was the delicious smell.
As if entranced, Seo-hui took the small dish and tasted doenjang stew for the first time in a long while.
"Mm…."
And then.
"How is it?"
She looked quietly at Dohyeon, who was biting his lip as if a little nervous, and answered softly.
"It's salty."
"What. Really?"
"…A little?"
Dohyeon took the dish back and, with a grave expression, ladled more broth and sipped it.
"Hss…. A little salty, you say…?"
Watching him, a faint smile Seo-hui herself didn't notice settled at the corners of her mouth.
…It was only afterward that she realized she had just shared an indirect kiss with Dohyeon.
I had finished all the side dishes and was stir-frying the final menu item—beef bulgogi—when Cheon Seo-hui came out to the living room, crouched in front of the table, and started picking at the finished side dishes with her fingertips.
Judging by how she kept going back for more, they seemed to suit her taste.
"Can this be a little sweeter?"
Or not?
"It'll get hard if I do that."
"I like hard things."
She put her finger in her mouth with a soft suck, then went to the fridge and took out a water bottle.
I watched her for a moment, then shook my head and finished frying the bulgogi.
"Done!"
At last the lunch table was complete.
It wasn't so lavish that the table legs would buckle, but somehow I had managed a proper seven-dish spread.
Thankfully we avoided the disaster of eating past lunchtime.
Han Dohyeon, still not dead yet.
I felt quietly proud that my skills hadn't rusted away.
"Come on, eat. You must be starving."
"…Thank you for the meal."
I picked up my spoon first, tasting the broth while sneaking glances at Cheon Seo-hui.
She followed suit, and once her appetite was whetted by the side dishes she began stuffing food into her mouth so busily her cheeks puffed out….
Wow…. How can even the way she eats be pretty?
I was inwardly marveling at her beauty all over again when it suddenly hit me: this was the first time we had ever sat across from each other and shared a meal.
An experience I had never even had with Kim Yubin, I was having with Cheon Seo-hui.
…Should I be happy about this, or not….
I was quietly watching her eat, hiding those complicated yet tender feelings, when—
Glance. Cheon Seo-hui, reaching for a side dish, met my eyes.
"…What?"
A look that seemed to ask if I had something to say.
I reflexively looked away, scooped up a big bite of rice, and said whatever came to mind.
"Nothing. Just… you're pretty."
She furrowed her brow and started giving me a strange look.
Ah, crap.
Belatedly realizing how easily the careless words could be misunderstood, I hastily added something that sounded natural.
"…It's nice watching you eat well."
"……."
She stared at me for a while, then quietly averted her gaze and went back to eating diligently.
…Whew. That took ten years off my life….
Having barely survived an unexpected friendship-ending crisis, I secretly let out a sigh of relief.
Be careful, Han Dohyeon. You're not there yet.
I was going to have to be a lot more careful from now on.