Chapter 21
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 21
Chapter Title: Catching Up (3)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Huh?"
I blankly echoed her.
"Where? Your room?"
"Yeah, my bed."
Erendel flung the bedroom door wide open and jerked her chin toward it.
"If you sleep on the floor and catch a chill that twists your face, I'll have to nurse you back to health before we even save the empire. That'd be a pain in the ass. Just come in."
"No, still... we're a man and a woman. That's a bit..."
"Man and woman my foot. Are we husband and wife?"
She snorted derisively.
"Hey, don't you remember 500 years ago? We're the ones who huddled together covered in mud and blood in those filthy trenches. Why act all shy now? It's gross."
"That was because we might've died the next day. Extreme circumstances."
"Same thing now. Outside's got that curse or whatever keeping the heating on nonstop. Gotta save mana, so quit yapping and get in. I don't wanna deal with a frozen corpse."
Erendel didn't wait for my answer and stormed into the room. I glanced back and forth between the still-open door and the icy living room floor, pondering for three seconds.
Fine. Better than freezing to death. This tsundere elf doesn't see me as a man anyway.
I shrugged off my coat, tossed it on a chair, and slipped into the bedroom.
The room was cozy. A faint lavender scent mixed with the smell of old books filled the air.
The bed was custom-made, just like she said. Big enough for four people to roll around in.
"......"
Erendel had already turned toward the wall, burrowed under the covers up to her head. I cautiously perched on the edge of the bed, then slowly slid under the blanket.
Fluffy.
Wow. This is cheating. Even softer than the mattress back home in the real world. A bed infused with a 500-year-old elf's wealth and magic.
"Hey."
A muffled voice came from under the covers.
"Yeah, what?"
She wriggled around and grabbed a pillow, plopping it right down the middle between us.
"Don't cross this line. Touch me even with a fingertip, and I'll give you frostbite on the spot."
"Don't worry. I wouldn't take it even if you offered. I have standards, you know."
"What? You little..."
She kicked my shin with her foot.
"You haven't changed a bit when it comes to talking crap."
Erendel grumbled and turned her back to me. Silence settled in. Lying side by side, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling, it felt strange. Memories overlapped with those nights huddled in trenches, gazing at the stars while bullshitting.
Then, Erendel quietly spoke up.
"Hey."
"What, can't sleep?"
"You... really went to another world, huh?"
"Yeah, I told you. How many times?"
"What was it like?"
Rustle. She turned to face me. Even in the dark, her eyes sparkled with curiosity.
"Eh, no wars, no magic, no orcs. Just normal."
"Whoa, no magic? Then how do you light fires? Get water?"
"Flip a switch for lights, turn a faucet for water. There's ways."
"Hmm..."
Erendel pondered for a moment, then casually tossed out,
"So."
"What?"
"What'd you do there for 500 years? Get married? Have kids? Live happily ever after?"
There was a subtle tremor in her voice. Like she was comparing her lonely centuries to my happy ones.
I chuckled and propped my head on my arm.
"Married? Didn't even hold a girl's hand. And it wasn't 500 years."
"Huh?"
"For me, it was just one day. Less than 24 hours."
"What?!"
Erendel bolted upright like a spring. The warm blanket slid off, letting cold air rush in. Even in the dark, I could sense her shocked expression.
"A day? What bullshit is that? 500 years passed here! Enough time for mountains to change 50 times over, and it was a day for you?"
"Yeah. Right after I got back, I ate that chicken—no, that roast chicken I'd been craving so bad... thought, 'Ah, bliss,' lay down to sleep..."
The more I thought about it, the madder I got. I punched the bed.
"Woke up here. Those idiot descendants summoned me back! My first vacation in 20 years after discharge! Forced shutdown after half a day!"
"......"
Erendel gaped blankly at my words, then burst into rolling laughter, clutching her stomach.
"Pfft, hahahaha!!"
"Don't laugh. I'm serious."
"No, insane... heh heh! Ahahaha! So while I was here aging for 500 years, polishing your grave and moping, you went there, ate a piece of chicken, and slept?"
"That's right? I'm so pissed, seriously."
"Ahahahaha! Serves you right! Perfect karma!"
Erendel laughed until tears streamed down her face. My misfortune was apparently the ultimate comfort for her.
"Ah, feels so good. Like decades of heartburn just vanished. At least I wasn't the only one suffering."
She wiped her eyes and lay back down. Her voice was much lighter now.
"Yeah. Better here than fattening up on chicken. You're stuck rolling around here for life."
"Don't jinx it. I'll leave as soon as the job's done."
"......"
The laughter faded into heavy silence. After a moment, Erendel's voice dropped low.
"Hey, Kasian."
"What now."
"You... really like this empire that much?"
"What?"
"Be honest. It's disgusting. The emperor's an idiot, the nobles are the same trash. The glorious empire we knew, the one we bled for—it's been dead for ages."
Erendel spat it out without hiding her disgust.
"That's why I've been holed up here. Couldn't stand the sight. Refused to admit that what we fought for turned into this garbage heap."
She stared straight at me.
"But why are you busting your ass right away? Just let it all burn and leave. Why bother cleaning up the trash?"
I stared at the ceiling. Faded patterns danced in my vision.
"Can't let it go to waste."
"What? This rotten country?"
"No. The price we paid."
"....."
"Kyle was crazy for justice, fine. But Alexander—that crown prince—wielded a greatsword on the front lines, hacking demons. Lucia prayed nonstop for three days to hold the holy barrier, vomiting blood before collapsing."
I clenched and unclenched my fist.
"Just because the descendants are trash now... doesn't mean I can let what those guys risked their lives for get treated like cheap junk."
"......"
"If Kyle or Alexander had survived and come back, they'd do the same. Different methods, maybe."
Kyle would've preached until they got it—a week, a month. Alexander would've just seized the throne first and sat on it himself.
"And you... after the war, you didn't go back to the elf forest. You stayed in the empire."
"......"
Erendel fell silent for a long time. Then she let out a small snort.
"Still a weirdo. Total stubborn mule."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"Hmph."
"Which is why... help me out with some research."
"What?"
"Make a reverse summon magic circle instead of those idiot descendants. You're a genius. You can do it."
The empire's top archmage could open dimensional gates no problem. But Erendel scoffed and turned away.
"Nah. Why should I? I'm not letting you go."
"......What?"
"Not sending you. Dream on."
"Hey, 500 years ago, every time I whined about wanting to go home, you'd scream 'Get lost! Get out of my sight!' Why change your tune now?"
"That was then. You were here. Now..."
Erendel's voice trailed off. She pulled the blanket up to her nose and mumbled.
"If you go again... it might not be 500 years this time. Could be 5,000. Or never see you again."
"......"
"So no. I'm never letting you go. Rot here forever."
This old hag—loneliness evolved into obsession.
I sighed deeply and forced my eyes shut.
Saving the empire might be easier than convincing this pissed-off 500-year-old senior to let me go home. Felt like that'd be the final boss of this reincarnation.
'Sleep first...'
Asking her would come after everything here was wrapped up. And that was far in the future.
=====
The next morning.
"Mm..."
A heavy pressure crushed my chest.
Sleep paralysis?
In my groggy haze, I opened my eyes.
"......"
Right in front of me was skin white like glutinous rice cake. Lowering my gaze a bit revealed Erendel's slender nape and collarbone line, starkly exposed.
And my right arm was tightly wrapped around something soft and squishy.
"Hnn..."
Regular breathing tickled under my chin. The pillow DMZ we'd strictly set in the bed's center last night had long been banished to the floor, KIA.
"...."
Situation grasped.
I'm screwed.
No idea what happened overnight, but waking her means point-blank thunderbolt for sure.
Cold sweat dripping, I tried ever so carefully to extract my arm.
That's when it hit.
"Mm... cold..."
Erendel grumbled in her sleep and burrowed deeper into my arms. Her ear tip tickled my jaw.
"......"
Only one way out of this.
Pretend to sleep. Whoever wakes first is guilty. So I shut my eyes tight and played dead.
Ten minutes felt like 100.
"Mm... smack."
She smacked her lips and stirred awake. Her head lifted. A blank silence as she took it in...
"Eek?!"
A short scream, and a mana-charged kick slammed into my gut.
Thud-!
"Guhk?!"
I tumbled off the bed onto the floor, banging my head. Stars exploded in my vision.
"You! You pervert bastard! Psycho! What the hell did you do while I was asleep?!"
Erendel wrapped herself tight in the blanket and shrieked. Her face was tomato-red ripe.
"What did I do? You did! I'm innocent! You rolled over saying you were cold and hugged me like a furnace! My arm went numb!"
"L-Liar! Noble elves don't have bad sleeping habits! You assaulted me!"
"Look in a mirror and talk! Drool marks still there!"
"Die! Memory wipe spell—forget it all!!"
"Why shoot me? Aim at your own head!"
We yelled ourselves hoarse from morning, bickering like kindergarteners. Hardly dignified for a legendary hero and archmage.
=======
After the commotion, we hurriedly prepped to descend.
"Gotta pack all this?"
I stared at the bundles Erendel had packed, looking queasy.
She'd grabbed my dagger from the display case, Alexander's greatsword, Kyle's shield—even the used alchemy cauldron.
"Of course! My trophies, remember? Can't lose a single one."
"We're saving the empire, not moving house. Pack essentials. Rest goes in sub-space magic."
"Sub-space pouch is full. You carry it."
"I'm a porter now? Empire's hero?"
"Heroes are strong, right? No whining."
Grousing, I took the bags she handed over. I knew what these meant to her—couldn't tell her to ditch them.
"Wait a sec. Changing clothes."
Erendel dumped the luggage and headed to the bathroom. Moments later, the door opened, and she stepped out.
"Whoa..."
An admiring whistle escaped me.
The pure white robe draped elegantly over her figure, blue mana stones on the collar gleaming mysteriously.
"What're you staring at? Close your mouth. Drool's dripping."
She gripped her staff tighter and snapped.
"They say clothes make the man. Now you look like old times. Same girl who was snoring and drooling in my arms minutes ago?"
"Mention that once more, and I'll yank your tongue out and tie it in a knot."
She thumped her staff on the floor. Ice debris blocking the tower entrance melted away like magic, opening the path.
"Let's go. Wonder how messed up the capital's magic tower is."
"Time to clean house."
We set off down the snow-cleared mountainside.