The Returned Saintess’s Exorcism Broadcast
I had been back in Korea for a while now. I had expected all sorts of complicated things to await me—reclaiming my identity, sorting through paperwork, that kind of bureaucratic headache. But somehow the Goddess’s grace had already taken care of everything in one smooth stroke.
My resident registration card was waiting for me. The room I opened my eyes to was my own apartment. A bank account had been created, and the money I had earned while serving in the Kristia Holy Kingdom had been deposited into it without a single glitch. For the time being, I no longer had to worry about starving to death.
*Is this the reward? The compensation for all the suffering I endured back then?*
If they were giving me anything back, they should have returned me to my original body. Instead I had come home exactly as I was. A mysterious woman with long black hair and piercing red eyes—Minero, the way the people around here kept describing me.
*Twenty years in this form. I’m used to it now, but…*
Gender was one thing. I had returned, yet I still had no idea what I was supposed to do. The idea of strolling into a modern Korean street and announcing, “Hello, I’m the Inquisitor Hanai from the otherworldly Kristia Holy Kingdom” would have earned me a one-way ticket to the psych ward. I couldn’t pretend to be an ordinary civilian after living so long in the Holy Kingdom.
*What I can do in this world…*
In the end, all I had brought with me was a computer and broadcasting equipment. Public preaching had been my daily bread in the Holy Kingdom, so adapting to the internet was surprisingly easy.
*What kind of channel is this?*
*Whoa. That nun outfit is straight-up fire.*
*Concept is insane.*
I had only started streaming a short while ago, and my viewer count was still tiny compared to the bigger channels. But that outfit—the one I had worn while serving in the Holy Kingdom, now reinterpreted in this era as a woman in a nun’s habit—caught people’s attention. The numbers were still modest, yet they were climbing.
*Die already, noona!*
*Don’t be reckless!*
*You’re disturbing the service!*
“Hello, everyone. I am the Inquisitor Hanai. Let us begin today’s service.”
I launched straight into the broadcast. The content was a hymn to my patron Goddess, Merci, and a solemn warning about the dangers of demons.
*“Merci, the Goddess, loves humanity and strives day and night to protect it. The only way to repay Her is with unwavering faith and devotion.”*
*What the heck? Real religious broadcast?*
*Who’s this Merci?*
*She’s a healer, right?*
*No, that’s the real one!*
*Of course it’s fake lol lol lol*
People who thought they were watching an ordinary channel were stunned. Some were stunned into silence, while others immediately flooded the chat.
*Oh no. Even fake religions are doing live broadcasts now. Aren’t they going to regulate this?*
*Even the concept is a little too far.*
*You heretic! Go burn in hell!*
*I already reported you.*
I was being called a heretic. Naturally, the viewers who actually believed in Merci were not about to let that stand.
*It’s a heretic! Kick them out!*
*Kill the heretic!*
*How dare you insult Inquisitor-nim?*
*Protect Inquisitor-nim!*
They were fighting my corner and throwing the haters out like it was nothing. It was strangely comforting to know that people in this world still worshipped Merci.
*“Demons on the surface corrupt humanity in order to gain power. Their ultimate goal is the extinction of mankind. Fighting them is no easy task, but the easiest way is to never lose faith.”*
The warning about demons was the most important part of the service. I had seen the continent itself fall to them with my own eyes back in the Holy Kingdom, so I had no choice but to speak plainly. In the old days we could legally exorcise heretics and demons by force, but here we had to do it with faith alone.
*Kyaa! Protect me, Inquisitor-nim!*
*Good job, good job! You caught that Diavolo, Mephisto, Baal trio too.*
*Is it really just believing in you that’s enough?*
*If you’re possessed by a demon, will Inquisitor-nim come save me?*
*This is too good!*
Of course, no one took me seriously. Not even I, who had once been a demon, believed in gods. Not a single demon had appeared yet. Still, knowing about them was bound to be useful one day.
*“With this, today’s service is complete. Thank you sincerely to everyone who has sent in today’s donations.”*
Fortunately, people continued to send “Today’s donation, onigiri~” along with a small amount of money—mostly a thousand or two thousand won. I had been saving every coin with gratitude. When that ran out, it would be a real blessing.
But just as I was about to end the stream, the chat took a wild turn.
*Eh? Just leave like this?*
*You really have a boyfriend?*
*Shut up shut up shut up!*
*Stop stop stop!*
*A nun having a boyfriend?*
*She’s not even a real nun!*
Why was the chat suddenly so obsessed with my supposed love life? Usually they just waved and left.
*“Is there something wrong? Why are you asking?”*
*It’s the last day of December. Just leaving feels weird.*
*I was thinking you’d do some kind of event, but I guess not.*
*Nothing at all?*
*You’re such a tsundere!*
*Ah, right. Today is the last day of December. The end of the year. I hadn’t even noticed the time passing.*
*“Normally this kind of day is spent with family.”*
*I have no family.*
*Oh.*
*“It’s all right. Then perhaps it would be good to spend a moment reflecting on any sins you may have committed this year.”*
*Will the nun do confession?*
*“Confession? I suppose. If you have been misled by a heretic or tempted by evil, I will help you.”*
*I’ve been thinking… I’ve done a lot of wrong things lately.*
*I’ve done it too!*
*All I can think about with the nun is… only you can help me!*
*Get out.*
*“I see. Shall we begin by exorcising the demon from your body with a holy scourge?”*
*Whoa, that’s a little much.*
*Hahaha*
*Dom Huang Cha*
*I can do it*
*?*
*Heueung*
*That upper-class guy definitely has a demon attached lol lol*
Fortunately, I was able to wrap up the broadcast while the mood stayed light. The only person who kept pushing for a boyfriend was… well, they always got the same answer.
*“I am a woman who has sworn purity of body and soul to the Goddess. I have never kept another person in my heart besides the Goddess I serve, Merci.”*
*Right!*
*We believe!*
*Hanai! Hanai!*
*Is Merci male?*
*Merci-nim is a goddess!*
*Anyone who doubts you can leave!*
Even if I had lived twenty years in a woman’s body, the idea of dating a man still felt completely foreign. The thought alone made my skin crawl.
*I’ll never die a death like that.*
I shook the useless thought away, changed into normal clothes, and stepped out.
*What should I eat tonight?*
After streaming, it had become a routine to stop by the nearby convenience store for a quick meal. Back in the Holy Kingdom I had thought convenience-store food was disgusting, but coming back here seemed to have sharpened my appetite. The best things were the convenience-store bento boxes and triangular kimbap.
*“Welcome! Welcome!”*
The young male part-timer who usually worked this shift jumped up the moment he saw me, flashing a bright smile. He was truly kind.
*Let me see… today I’m craving pork belly bento, so I’ll buy that…*
While I was paying, the convenience-store speaker chimed in.
*“Today is December 31st! Another year of hard work is behind us! Today, let’s spend it with family! With your lover! With the people you love! Let’s end the year with the variety of products we have in store!”*
Even the convenience store was playing the year-end song. Right. For a New Year’s Eve send-off, I should buy cake and beer too. I placed the extra items on the counter. The part-timer, who had been fidgeting the whole time, suddenly decided on something and pressed a can of cola into my hand.
*“Um, please take this!”*
*“This? Why?”*
There was no one-plus-one promotion or gift certificate among the items I had bought.
*“Ah, well… I bought a drink and it came with one-plus-one, so there’s an extra can. It’s a little too much to finish by myself, so I thought maybe you’d like it… I’m not saying you have to take it for free or anything… It’s just… I thought you’d enjoy it… If you’re uncomfortable, I’m sorry… I’m really sorry!”*
He was stuttering and turning bright red, struggling through a flood of words. But the intent was clear. He genuinely wanted to give me something nice.
*“Thank you. I happen to need cola, so I’ll drink it with pleasure.”*
*“Thank you!”*
*“I received it, yet you’re thanking me for giving it?”*
I grinned and tucked the can into my bag. The part-timer’s face split into a grin so wide it looked like it might crack.
*“Well, have a blessed New Year.”*
I turned to leave, but he called after me again.
*“Um… wait!”*
*“Do you have more to give me?”*
*“No! That’s not it! Please be careful when you go home! There’s a serial killer roaming around lately, and he’s only been targeting young women.”*
I had seen the news. They said the killer’s radius included this neighborhood… Was he actually worried about me?
*“Are you worried?”*
*“Ah, well… you’re a regular, so if I’m overstepping, I’m sorry.”*
*“You don’t have to worry. If you’re really concerned, just check my channel tomorrow. ‘Hanai’s Faith Broadcast.’ If I’m streaming, there’s no need to worry, right?”*
*“Ah! You’re streaming! Now I understand why you look so pretty!”*
*“You thought I was pretty every time you saw me?”*
*“Ah! I’m sorry!”*
*“There’s no need to apologize. What exactly are you sorry about?”*
The part-timer had a playful streak. I had done the same thing to my juniors back in the Holy Kingdom.
*“Anyway, I’ll be careful. Thank you for worrying about me.”*
I hummed cheerfully as I walked home, thinking it had been a long time since anyone had shown me genuine concern.
Then I felt someone following me.