Saddle Up, Knightly (4)
"Alright. In that case, today's on me. Combat Department, all of you — assemble at the dessert cafe!"
"Yahoo! This is awesome!"
At my announcement, everyone from the Combat Department professors down to the junior teaching assistants lit up and made something of a charge for the dessert cafe.
"Professor! Professor Dian! Wait a minute!"
Someone called after me in a hurry, and I started to turn around — but never got the chance.
"Hurry up! Brog wants mango cake!"
Brog, the orc Unarmed Combat Professor, shoved me relentlessly forward.
No idea who that was, but if it's urgent, they'll come find me later.
We claimed a cluster of outdoor tables, and the younger professors headed inside to order dessert.
"Huh? You guys actually eat this kind of thing?"
"The Chief Professor ordered everyone to assemble, sir."
Morton, the General Combat Professor, sat with his arms folded and answered in a flat, blunt tone. Genev, the Armed Combat Professor, didn't even bother to reply.
"You've had this stuff before, right?"
"First time, sir. Dessert doesn't belong in the Long-Range Patrol. Maybe those girly regular infantry types, but not us."
"Ehh? You've seriously never had dessert? What about you?"
Startled by Morton's answer, I looked over at Genev, who gave a short, silent shake of his head.
Come on. Even so, how had they never eaten dessert in their lives? Fine, never having tried it was one thing — but what the hell did that have to do with the Long-Range Patrol?
These guys were totally that type. American-style macho men. In America, men supposedly had to prove they weren't gay at every single moment, right?
"You're academy professors now, so try eating this kind of stuff."
Neither of them answered.
"Chief Professor! What would you like to drink?"
"Ah, I'll come look at the menu and pick myself!"
A voice called from inside, so I got up from my chair and went into the cafe. I was looking over the menu, adding drinks and a few extra desserts to the order, when Pelemiya, the Psychological Warfare Professor, tapped me on the shoulder.
"By the way, Chief Professor. Aren't you going to bring the Principal?"
"The Principal? She'll eat just fine on her own."
"That's not what I mean. Strictly speaking, the Principal is part of our Combat Department too, isn't she?"
Ah. Right. Come to think of it, Kirlin also served as the assassination-and-kidnapping instructor.
I glanced around, and there she was off to the side — the Principal, ears drooping, standing by herself and sneaking looks in our direction.
"Principal!"
I raised a hand, and Kirlin's ears shot straight up.
"Come over here!"
"Ah, n-no. I'm fine. You all enjoy yourselves."
"Come on! You're a concurrent Combat Department professor too!"
"No. I don't want to. I just came to see what the inside looks like. I'm really about to leave."
"Pelemiya. Bring the Principal over."
Kirlin panicked, waving both hands and babbling, so I gave Pelemiya the order.
"I-I'm really fine! You'll be uncomfortable if I'm there!"
I burst out laughing at Kirlin's words as Pelemiya dragged her over by the arm.
That only applies when your boss is terrifying or dripping with authority, Principal.
"Over here, Principal!"
Welcomed by Professor Lina, Kirlin sat down, and at last the entire Combat Department was gathered in one place.
Looking at them all together like this, though, they didn't look like academy professors at all. They looked like some kind of shadowy cabal.
Take a look at this lineup.
Morton, the General Combat Professor — a thick-necked, muscular bulk of a man whose build made his middle age irrelevant, with a long braided white beard and a fearsome face. Genev, the Armed Combat Professor — icy eyes, a mouth clamped shut, both exposed arms and his face covered in slash scars. Brog, the Unarmed Combat Professor — a green orc over two meters tall, with protruding tusks and a massive frame. Kazadar, the Combat Equipment Professor — a dwarf with thick forearms and a vicious war hammer stuck through his belt. Waiver, the Survival Professor — a hunter who'd shot a hundred demons dead and received a medal for it. Orendi, the Magic Countermeasure Professor — baby-faced and covered in freckles, but possessed of tremendous magical power. Lina, the Infiltration Professor — a gentle, kind personality with a soft smile, in contrast to a completely unknown past as a former special task force operative. Pelemiya, the Psychological Warfare Professor — who was said to have been solely in charge of interrogating captured high-ranking demon officers. And Anna, the Combat Horsemanship Professor, a gloomy dark-haired type who always looked downcast… well, I wasn't sure about her.
On top of all that, Principal Kirlin, a dark elf from a race notorious for assassination.
These were people who did not belong in the slightest at the outdoor tables of a dessert cafe on this bright spring day. And the teaching assistants occupying the tables around us were Combat Department through and through as well — every last one of them had made a name for themselves somewhere or other in the past.
If this world were one of those "accidentally the mastermind" misunderstanding novels, leading this bunch to conquer the world wouldn't have been out of the question.
When the desserts arrived, I offered Kirlin the first taste. She might have been a hopelessly inept principal, but she was still the highest-ranking person here.
Kirlin took a bite of strawberry shortcake, and both ears flapped as her ruby-red eyes went wide.
"This is incredibly delicious…?!"
Before long she was wolfing down the cake until her cheeks puffed out.
"The Principal looks just like a puppy right now."
Lina giggled at the sight and whispered it quietly to me.
The rest of the professors were all satisfied too, and even Morton and Genev — who so fiercely insisted on being manly men — seemed to be quietly enjoying themselves.
On the way home that evening, I bought a few desserts for Olicia. Naturally, she loved them too. This kind of thing was a cheat code for girls her age.
"It's nice not having to take a carriage all the way into the city anymore."
Olicia said it while chewing away at a cream cake.
"Even if it is a carriage assigned exclusively for you, Dian, it always felt awkward asking the coachman when it wasn't academy business."
"Just use it. The academy issued it for personal errands too."
"Still. If we use it too blatantly, we might get on the wrong side of someone important later."
Olicia lived in constant dread that I'd get fired from the academy. If I did, we'd have to go back to that backwater harbor town of Brunswell.
"Oh, and Dian — did you put a stone next to the wall?"
"A stone?"
"There was a flat foundation stone I'd never seen before, right up against the wall, so I thought maybe you'd brought it over for some kind of work."
"What work would I be doing? This place is in perfect shape. Nothing needs fixing."
"Huum. Then what is it…"
Olicia lowered her voice, still chewing on cake.
"Could it be… a thief?"
"A thief?"
"They put a stone there, climb up on it, and peek inside looking for an opportunity."
"What are you talking about, Olicia? This is the Special Operations Academy. There's no way a thief could get in. A demon suicide squad, maybe, but not a thief."
"I guess…"
"Kyaaaaah!"
A scream rang out from outside without warning.
"Thief!"
Before I could even grasp the situation, Olicia shot to her feet, grabbed a cast-iron pan from the kitchen, and bolted out the door.
"Aigoo, that girl. Honestly."
I figured I'd better go bring her back in, so I followed her outside.
"Hey, Olicia. Don't make a fuss. There's no way a thief broke into the academy. Probably just a cat in heat in spring… wait, that's not…"
"Ah… hello, Professor…"
The moment I saw Knightly sitting slumped at the foot of the wall, I was at a complete loss for words.
"So you came all the way here to complain about private lessons? And you snuck out of the dorms to do it?"
"Yes."
Knightly answered coolly, sipping the warm tea Olicia had given her. The flustered girl whose cloak had been yanked off earlier was nowhere to be seen.
"You're the class president. Is this really okay? And if it was something that minor, you could've just come find me during the day…"
"You never stay in your office, so how am I supposed to find you?!"
Knightly's voice rose without warning.
"Every time I go, you're out, and when I look for you you're always at the construction site or joking around with students! And if not that, you're hanging around with the Combat Department people!"
"Dian! Is that true?!"
Olicia jumped at the torrent of words pouring out of Knightly.
"Are you really not working and just playing around all the time?"
"No, it's not like that. Hey, Knightly. People will actually think that's what I do."
"Dian. What if you get fired? I don't want to go back to Brunswell!"
"I'm never getting fired, you little brat. Anyway, you go wash up and get ready for bed."
I shoved Olicia into the bathroom and sat back down across from Knightly.
"So the point is, you want me to start giving you intensive private lessons already. Right?"
"That's right. This is a proper contract. You know verbal contracts are binding, don't you?"
"I know."
"Then fulfill the contract in good faith. You said you'd give me lessons every week, and you haven't done it once since the night infiltration."
That was true. So much had happened in the meantime that I hadn't given it any thought. Knightly had been the one to demand it unilaterally at first, but I'd wanted to try teaching a student like her myself, and I'd agreed in order to keep Principal Kirlin in her post. As Knightly said, it was a contract between both parties, so I ought to carry it out in good faith.
"I actually had something to do anyway. Perfect timing. Come along as part of your private lessons."
A flush of color flickered across Knightly's endlessly cold face, just for an instant.
"When?"
"We leave tomorrow. So hurry back to the dorms and get some sleep."
"Where are we going? What's it about?"
"You'll find out when we get there. We done?"
"Fine."
Knightly kept her expression under control as she stood.
"Then good night."
"Go on."
After she left, I shook my head and sipped my tea. Valedictorian or not, duke's daughter or not — coming to a professor's house in the middle of the night? Kids these days, I swear.
"Huh? Did she leave?"
Olicia asked as she came out of the bathroom.
"Yeah. Go to bed. You have to sleep early to grow taller."
"Dian. What she said earlier — that isn't actually true, right?"
She was still worried enough to ask again.
"Yeah. It's not, so don't worry. If I get fired as a professor, I'll transfer my entire fortune to you."
"Really?! Wait a minute! Quick, a pen and paper…!"
Apparently intending to write up some kind of pledge, Olicia was scrambling around when the door suddenly creaked open.
"Professor."
I turned, and there was Knightly standing there with a cloak pulled over her head.
"What are you doing? Why'd you come back? Still something to say?"
"That's not it. I don't think I can get back to the dorms."
"What? Why?"
"It's past midnight, so the security magic activated. I can't get through."
The academy's major facilities were warded with Professor Orendi's security magic to prevent nighttime intrusions from outside. So it activated at midnight, did it.
Bypassing security magic cast by a mage of Orendi's caliber wasn't all that difficult, honestly. But that was for when you were infiltrating somewhere. The situation here was different. An academy professor couldn't very well smash the security wards just to sneak a student who'd gone AWOL back into the dorms.
Well. Not much choice, then.
"Then just sleep here and go back early tomorrow morning. That should work."
"Eeeh!? Dian!"
Olicia shrieked even louder than Knightly.
"You can't do that! If anyone finds out, it's over!"
"Then we just don't let anyone find out. Your bed's big enough, so the two of you sleep there. That works, right?"
"No. I'll just sleep on the sofa. That's more comfortable."
Knightly refused without a second's hesitation, pointing at the sofa I was sitting on. She didn't say it outright, but sharing a bed with Olicia the maid was apparently unacceptable from a noble young lady's point of view.
"Fine, if that's more comfortable for you. You heard her, Olicia? Bring some blankets."
"*Hahh*…. Fine."
Olicia brought the bedding, and Knightly spread it out on the sofa in a fumbling sort of way.
"Alright, everyone get some sleep."
"Good night."
Olicia went into her room on the first floor, Knightly lay down on the sofa, and I went upstairs. I stretched out in bed, finished the novel I'd been reading while snickering to myself, and drifted off.
In the middle of the night, Knightly quietly opened her eyes and turned her head.
No light leaked from the room the maid had gone into. She was already asleep, it seemed.
Knightly got up from the sofa and, just in case, crept quietly to the window to look outside. Fortunately, there was no sign of Priestess Maya's head popping up over the wall or anything of the sort.
Having confirmed that everything was in order, Knightly headed for the stairs to the second floor. She was so excited about tomorrow's private lesson that she couldn't sleep at all, and she was planning to go to Professor Dian's room. If he happened to still be awake, she figured they could talk about this and that — what he'd done in the past, how he'd become close with her father, what had brought him to the academy, and so on.
Professor Dian was always running around all over the place, so opportunities to talk one-on-one in a quiet setting like this were rare. She hadn't even managed a proper meeting request up to this point, had she? If she let tonight slip by, there was no telling how things would go from tomorrow on.
"Where are you going?"
She had just set her foot on the first step when a voice came out of nowhere. Knightly nearly screamed, clamped a hand over her mouth, and looked up.
Around the middle of the stairs, Olicia lay at an angle, wrapped in a blanket, looking down at Knightly with half-open eyes.
Wh-when did that girl get there without a sound…? More importantly, what on earth is she doing there?!
"Ah, I, um…"
Completely thrown by a situation she hadn't anticipated, Knightly stammered and fumbled until she finally managed to scrape together an excuse.
"I-I really need to pee…"
"The side door by the kitchen."
"Right…"
Damn it…. That girl is an obstacle every single time we meet….
Knightly bit her lip and went into the bathroom to pee when she didn't even need to. And when nothing actually came out, she had to endure the humiliating ordeal of making a "psssshhh—" sound with her mouth to fool Olicia.
Listening from outside as Knightly made peeing sounds with her mouth, Olicia clicked her tongue.
Nobles, I swear. What kind of noble in this entire world makes peeing sounds with their mouth? Give me a break.
The moment Knightly finished her unconvincing performance and came out, Olicia pointed a finger toward the living room.
"The sofa's that way."
"R-right…. I was going there anyway…"
Watching Knightly hesitate her way back onto the sofa, Olicia shook her head.
I knew she'd pull something like this. I had her figured out from the moment I first saw her. Clearly a vicious female student who'd come all the way to the residence just to see Dian.
I'd heard rumors that Dian had become quite popular lately thanks to all the things he'd been doing. That was probably why. And just as I expected, she tried to barge into Dian's bedroom, didn't she?
Good thing I stood guard after all. If something improper happened between that deranged noble young lady and Dian, he'd be driven out of the academy, and I'd have to go back to Brunswell.
I will never let that happen. As long as he's an academy professor, no one gets near Dian!