154. (H) Awakening to True Feelings (1)
According to Emilia's analysis, even a single sip would take effect on an ordinary woman, and excessive consumption could shatter the mind entirely—a potent aphrodisiac of the strongest grade. Hearing this, Eunhyeon sank into thought.
Questions about how Emilia knew such details on the drug's composition could wait. Right now, his heart weighed heavy with concern over how to resolve Elenoa's current state.
The first faces that came to mind were Abros, Alex, and the Duchess of Luness—her family, to whom he had promised to bring her back safely.
"Fuck...."
He wouldn't have the face to look at them.
"Master, the camp is ready."
"Got it."
Eunhyeon nodded, halting his thoughts as he rose from the campfire. He approached Elenoa, who sat leaning against a tree by the flames, warming herself.
"Even if it feels unpleasant, bear with it just a little."
"Hnnng...."
He carefully embraced her body, shrouded in the robe. She let out a small moan, her frame trembling faintly. Eunhyeon couldn't begin to imagine what it felt like for her now, dosed with that aphrodisiac and touched by a man's hands. He worried she might convulse or shove him away, but fortunately, she didn't resist—instead, she leaned her head against his chest, entrusting her weight to him.
As he lifted her, the robe slipped from her body to the ground. Her ample breasts were now exposed above the raggedly torn priestess robes, defenseless and bare. He bent hastily to retrieve it, but—
"It's... fine.... Just like this... take me like this."
Elenoa's sudden move—arms wrapping tightly around his neck—pressed her bare breasts against his shirt.
"......"
Eunhyeon was certain she wasn't fully aware of her own words or actions. For now, he focused on carrying her as she wished, stepping into the tent. Gently laying her on the mattress inside, he covered her brazenly revealed curves with a blanket and rose to leave.
"Don't go."
He paused as her slender hand clutched his wrist. He gazed at her steadily.
"Don't go. Please...."
"...Lady Elenoa."
"Please, stay by my side just a little longer. I beg you."
"Lady Elenoa."
"Don't leave me behind. Don't leave me alone. Don't abandon me."
"...I won't abandon you."
Seeing her desperate, pleading face laced with despair, Eunhyeon gave up on leaving. He clasped the hand gripping his wrist and sat back down on the mattress. Elenoa pulled his hand to her cheek, rubbing against the back of it as hot breaths escaped her lips.
"Haaa...."
"Why did you think I would abandon you?"
"Because... you're heartless."
"Me?"
"You're neither saint nor sinner—you move solely by cold calculation of gain and loss."
Her sharp insight made his shoulders twitch slightly. He quickly masked the flicker of unease, feigning ignorance.
"I don't follow."
"I told you back then. On that expedition to rescue Brother, when it was just us two—you said if I became a burden, you'd leave me behind, and if necessary, you'd sacrifice me too."
"That was mostly a threat to keep you from coming along."
"And if needed, you'd even stake your own life. I knew for sure after the demon attack on Fernin—locking yourself in prison, putting your life on the line in a public trial like some madman."
"But that's different from this. I came here to rescue you and return you to the Duke and Alex. Why would I abandon you now and slip away alone?"
Even after such persuasion, Elenoa shook her head.
"I don't know. I don't understand why you're here, why you came to save me, why you're helping my family—I've wanted to know everything about you, but now I don't know anything. It feels like you'll just abandon me and leave. I'm going insane with anxiety."
Gone was the poised, mature woman who had earned Erin's admiration. Her words, plagued by anxiety, lacked logic and coherence. He'd tried soothing her, reasoning it away, but her body shuddered violently, her eyes steadily losing their spark. Seeing she was on the brink of mental collapse, Eunhyeon frowned as the situation worsened. She gripped his hand tighter, pulling it under the blanket toward her breast.
"...Lady Elenoa!"
"Haaa...."
As his hand touched her breast, she moaned from the strange sensation.
"They fed me that weird drug, and over twenty men leered at my chest with vulgar grins."
"......"
"My hands bound, unable to resist—they ravaged me with their eyes, cocks bulging in their pants as they stroked themselves, ogling every inch."
"...Lady Elenoa."
"Priest Bark brought his face close to my breasts, tongue out to lick my nipples, his thing stiff in his pants."
"Lady Elenoa, enough...."
"But your hand... it doesn't feel wrong. Their stares crawled over me like bugs, their touches repulsive as they defiled me—but yours is warm, gentle. I want you to keep caressing me."
Lying on the mattress, Elenoa swept the blanket aside. Clutching his hand to her breast without letting go, she opened her mouth.
"Hold me."
With her reason crumbling, Elenoa began making outrageous demands of him.
"You're the daughter of a ducal house."
"I know."
"Doing this would only diminish your own worth—it's foolish."
Elenoa had a destined path: marriage to some nobleman from another house. It was her duty and responsibility as a daughter of the ducal family. Entangling herself with him here would bring nothing good for either—for him or her—only harm.
"If you hadn't come today, I'd have been gang-raped by twenty men, losing my first time. And I'd be carrying a child, not even knowing who the father was."
"That's why I came—to prevent that."
She shook her head at his continued persuasion.
"In that moment, the first man who came to mind was you. If I had to give my first time to someone, I wanted it to be you—my heart said so."
"......"
"There's a vast difference between a man you must embrace and one you want to. Today, I realized my true feelings. I don't want any other man touching me. Only you... I want only you to hold me."
Words unthinkable from a noblewoman. Casting aside family duty and obligation, realizing her genuine emotions only after reason shattered and she teetered on the brink of gang rape—it was absurdly contradictory, irrational. Elenoa gave a bitter inward smile, staring straight at Eunhyeon as she conveyed her unadorned heart honestly.
"I'm to be your husband soon."
"It's fine. I'll convince Lady Iliana. I'm confident. Father had multiple wives too. I don't even covet her position. Strictly speaking, I'm a concubine's child myself. I just... want you by my side."
She hadn't even proposed a relationship yet, and here she was, already thinking of marriage—it left him profoundly flustered. He'd never felt such dread of a woman's assertiveness before.
"I'm no noble of this kingdom—more like a foreigner. It doesn't suit your station."
"I don't care."
"The Duke and Alex won't leave me be."
"I'll convince Father and Brother too."
They didn't show it openly, but when she was out of sight, they doted on Elenoa fiercely. If he truly crossed that line here, Abros and Alex would lose their minds, ready to tear him apart. He had no intention of yielding if it came to blows, but stirring unnecessary trouble over this was the last thing he wanted. Besides, the ducal house was in a symbiotic relationship with him, one of the pillars upholding the Pernias Kingdom. Iliana flashed in his mind, along with the kingdom's political ties, trapping him in a dilemma.
"Do you... hate me?"
"It's not about like or dislike...."
He tried to voice his honest thoughts, but swallowed them upon seeing her face shift from anxiety to hollow emptiness. One wrong word—like "no"—and she might truly shatter, perhaps even take her own life. Her fragile expression screamed danger. The overdose of aphrodisiac had eroded her reason and mind to a perilous edge.
"You said you'd take responsibility."
He hadn't meant this kind of responsibility. Like the difference between "ah" and "eo," his "responsibility" had twisted into this—he felt an urge to sew his lips shut. But partly, she was right. In Princess Yuria's foresight, Elenoa was originally sold to the Vesta Temple under Bishop Harkan—via a political marriage to Priest Bark in exchange for massive temple supplies including food. But Eunhyeon had summoned Anies, ousting Harkan, altering that future. Yet considering she'd nearly been raped by Bark anyway, it was ironic—hardly a complete change. Strictly speaking, this situation was the result of him forcibly wrenching fate's path. Thinking it over like this stirred an unwanted sense of obligation.
"......"
Suddenly, Eunhyeon recalled Iliana's words before leaving Fernin.
"Don't get hurt. Just come back alive. Then, even if you bring another woman along, I'll forgive you all of it."
...When did she awaken future sight?
It was reasonable to suspect she'd foreseen this and said it. Or maybe just a casual remark. If he actually slept with Elenoa and returned, and Iliana found out...
...I don't even want to imagine.
He didn't dislike Elenoa. He even held favorable feelings toward her. But it wasn't love. Yet rejecting her now would surely break her—and whatever form that took, it wouldn't end well for her. That dilemma gnawed at him. But was embracing her without love the right thing?
No, thinking about it...
Even his first time with Iliana hadn't stemmed from love. He'd learned from experience with her that love could blossom even from relations without it.
"Sigh... Lady Elenoa. Are you truly okay with this?"
"Yes."
"...I'll do it. Take responsibility."
"Really?"
After much hesitation and swirling thoughts, his unexpected consent widened Elenoa's eyes. In answer, Eunhyeon pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers.
"Chuu... haa...."
Even a pure kiss of lips alone melted her expression into ecstasy, a moan spilling forth—the clear effect of the drug heightening her sensitivity.
"Emilia. Turn away."
"...Requesting command revision."
"Turn away."
"This unit has a duty to closely analyze the process of life conception and explore unknown knowledge. Command revision—"
"Baby-making goes ovulation, fertilization, implantation. Satisfied? Turn away."
"Command accepted...."
With a subtly sulky face, Emilia turned her head.
"Disable recording and video functions."
"Command accepted...."
Just in case, but feeling chills that she'd already prepared for it. Slowly laying Elenoa back on the mattress, Eunhyeon kissed her again, slipping his tongue into her mouth.
"Nhng... chuu."