2. Double Life
2. Double Life
Under the cool moonlight,
Two men were quietly basking by the fire.
"......."
"......."
Noah had temporarily stepped away. After barely managing a spoonful or two of the soup Hans had made by throwing in all sorts of ingredients, he had excused himself to look around the surroundings and disappeared.
It felt a bit like the roles had been reversed,
but perhaps because he still had some awareness of having come as a guard, Noah had told the two of them just before leaving that he had cast a perception-hindering magic around the campsite.
Of course, the two men, who were practically ignorant about magic, could only think, 'The great elf mage must have taken care of everything.'
Crackle, crackle...
The firewood burned.
A damp mossy scent hung in the air. From deep within the forest, the cries of insects and beasts could be heard intermittently.
And the blue moonlight illuminating the two men.
If there were alcohol here, it might have been considered a rather charming night. That's how Bargus seemed to feel.
He pulled a bottle of liquor from inside his coat. Then he glanced sideways at the soup bowl placed nearby, which Noah had barely touched.
Seems the noble elf mage's taste didn't quite agree with this country bumpkin's cooking. Bargus chuckled and tossed the bottle to Hans.
"Here, have a drink. On a night like this, you gotta have some liquor."
"... Is it okay to drink now? What if some beast or monster jumps out?"
"Tsk! The mage took care of everything before leaving! We just drink, sleep soundly, and wake up properly tomorrow morning, man. And... since when did you start talking back to me?"
"I-I'll drink...!"
Hans hesitated, then took a swig. But perhaps because it was too strong, he immediately flushed and coughed.
"Hehe... That's the taste of life, man. If you wanna make it in the smithy, you gotta get friendly with this strong stuff."
Bargus chuckled as he stared into the flames.
A decent buzz, pleasant moonlight... and the drowsy warmth of the campfire.
It was just the right atmosphere for Bargus, who was also a bit of a geezer, to teach Hans, the smithy's youngest and a fresh country bumpkin, about the ways of life.
For example,
Money, gambling... and women.
That night, the conversation naturally drifted to women. In a way, it was an inevitable flow.
If you consider what Bargus had done with whom and where earlier that dawn, it was predictable that he'd be itching to talk about it.
He went on about how amazing the lower lips of the woman he'd screwed this time were...
Of course, our country bumpkin Hans was still pure. His interest was solely focused on the unfamiliar elf.
"... What kind of person is Noah-nim?"
Hans cautiously opened his mouth. Bargus immediately scanned the surroundings. As the saying goes, out of sight, out of mind—when talking about others, you need to make sure the person in question isn't around.
Fortunately, that noble elf showed no sign of returning yet. Maybe they went to wash up by the river. Or perhaps they were attending to some embarrassing business.
'... Hehe.'
Elves must shit as much as they eat, right? With such a vulgar thought, Bargus opened his mouth.
"... What kind of person? Hey, don't tell me you fell for them at first sight?"
"N-No! It's just... It's my first time seeing an elf..."
"Stop it. They're not on our level, and there's a whole bunch of guys who ended up with broken limbs for messing around where they shouldn't. They're a different breed from us."
Then he immediately gulped down the liquor. So much that his Adam's apple bobbed heavily.
Naturally, every time he spoke, the smell of alcohol was obvious, along with a foul belch...
"But you know, Hans. The ways of the world are really funny. There's nothing as satisfying as taking those high-and-mighty bitches to bed. Hans, you. Have you lost your virginity yet?"
"... Huh?"
Hans widened his eyes in surprise.
He had once told Bargus... that he had a childhood friend left behind in his hometown or something like that.
But so what?
In Bargus's opinion, half the world is women. Though their faces vary, the holes they have down below are as numerous as there are men, if not more.
"The reason your sword is dull is because you haven't thrust into a woman's pussy. A real man becomes a man only after he's been with a woman. When we get back... I'll introduce you to a good place."
"... No, I don't think I..."
"Can't do it?"
"I have... a fiancée back home..."
Bargus chuckled.
So that's why your sword is like that... He ended up repeating that like a refrain.
Even though it was such a vulgar conversation, Hans listened intently because, despite appearances, Bargus was the owner of a fairly renowned smithy.
Could it really be that his sword was soft because he hadn't lost his virginity...? He found himself thinking that. In the end, the promise with his childhood friend was only that much.
"The place I'm gonna introduce isn't like that, man. You... ever heard of a wall brothel...? No, of course you haven't."
"It's my first time hearing about it..."
"You don't even need to see the woman's face. It's just the right place for a guy like you to lose your virginity. Now, listen. When you go in, you see that moon. That moon over there, see it?"
Bargus pointed at the brightly shining moon.
It was just the right moon for talking about women.
"A butt as round as that moon is sticking right out of a hole, I tell you."
"A butt, out of a hole... Is that what you mean...?"
Hans sank into deep thought.
What on earth could a butt like that be like? His country bumpkin imagination was too poor to picture it. His only memory of a woman's body was from secretly peeking at women bathing back in his hometown.
Bargus chuckled and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Yeah, man! You don't know the name, you don't know the face. Just a white lump of flesh sticking right out of a hole in the wall. Then you just pull down your pants, get hard, stick it in the hole, and enjoy. Fuck it hard. Then just cum. You pay, and there's no hassle..."
"Is that... really sex?"
Without any emotional exchange, isn't it just moving your hips? Like masturbation? Hans was saying something like that.
Bargus suddenly remembered.
Gulp—
'That was a top-tier pussy. That one.'
Honestly, Bargus also had negative thoughts about wall brothels. What kind of decent woman would hide her face? Unless they were ugly or had some serious flaw, why would they work in such a place if they had the ability to sell their bodies properly?
But rumors circulated.
In the wall brothel, the most expensive room has a crazy woman. Ah, more than a woman...
A hole. It's closer to a hole. A hole that grips your dick tight and doesn't let go.
"I thought the same at first. But you know... you'll understand when you see that butt. That silk-like skin. It has to be a beauty. I don't know why she's working in such a place, but... if you're born a man, you gotta stick it in a hole like that at least once."
"... How much does it cost?"
"Hehe, interested now? Don't worry. If we confirm the goods properly this time, I'll give you that much as a bonus. A man gotta fuck a pussy like that. By the way, it's three months of your salary."
"Huh? Isn't that too expensive?"
"Once a man sets his mind to it, there's no backing down!"
And at that moment,
While the two men were heatedly exchanging vulgar talk by the fire, Noah was blankly staring at the river flow by the riverside.
While listening to every word through the sound transmission magic cast along with the perception-hindering magic.
Naturally, Noah's ears were burning bright red.
===
'... I'm a hole?'
Last night, until I returned to the campsite, the vulgar talk about how the pussy was, how the butt was, didn't stop.
Though I ended up hearing it by chance,
I didn't want to hear such talk while facing them, so last night I made noise by tapping the ground with my staff from far away as I walked to the campsite.
Part of me even thought about using a fireball to burn that mouth—that vulgar mouth.
'Sigh, let's not mind it. That's not me. I'm just lending out my lower body... um... Since I'm lending it, during that time, it's not really my body.'
Stupid logic... but as a self-defense mechanism, attaching a plausible reason had its own effect.
I'm... not just some hole.
I am Noah, that noble elf mage whom others look up to and are too afraid to speak to casually.
Pulling myself together, as usual.
"Follow slowly."
"... Yes."
At my brief words, the carriage following behind clattered and matched my pace. No need to show discomfort. If I act cold as usual and show off my magic, they'll naturally fear and look up to me.
There's no clue that could connect me to that butt.
I lightly swung my staff and summoned a low-level spirit.
"Scout the surroundings and report back to me."
[ ...... ! ]
A transparent light orb danced around me before quickly disappearing into the forest. I could hear Hans, who was following behind, gasp shortly upon seeing me use spirit magic.
'... That's right. I'm someone you dare not covet.'
Unless I were some pretty woman.
I had not the slightest intention of getting close to the men of this era, who didn't even have proper hygiene.
"Do you have a question? Staring like that is distracting."
"N-No...!"
The guy's gaze avoided my face and fixed on the ground.
Last night, he was drunk and talking like that, but in front of me, it seems all he can say is 'No.'
Swallowing a laugh inwardly, I led the way along the narrow forest path.
Behind me was the greenhorn Hans, and behind him, Bargus followed driving the carriage.
I found myself hoping that some monster would appear by chance on the way to the mine.
If I could show off some suitable magic as a spectacle...
There would be no better chance to display the dignity of an elf mage.
===
"......."
Gulp. He swallowed dryly.
The faint pink smoke filling the air and the stimulating scent of spices were blurring Hans's reason.
Bargus's words were true.
Literally, Hans was looking at a moon.
Huuup...
He swallowed his breath. It was really there. A vulgar sight of an extremely thin waist pulled out through a hole, with only the butt roundly presented.
As soon as they found high-quality iron ore in the mine, the three hurried back to Bellua. Noah said they had business, signed the request form, and disappeared immediately.
Bargus seemed in a very good mood. He was usually like this on days when they brought in good iron.
So he kicked Hans out of the smithy, along with a pouch containing three gold coins as a reward, telling him to go rest since he'd worked hard carrying the load—or rather, because he was getting on his nerves...
Telling him to go lose his virginity already.
And so, Hans came here.
A moon-like butt. And a tightly closed pussy. The hole was there.