4. Church
4. Church
Crunch—
Behind the quiet main church building, where few people tread. The sound of a twig Elize stepped on as she approached Noah, saying she wanted to listen too.
Just as sounds from inside could be heard vividly outside, it seemed sounds from outside could also be heard vividly inside.
The argument coming from inside the office immediately stopped.
"... Who's there!"
At the same time as the bishop's voice, two pairs of eyes turned toward the window.
An ordinary person might have choices like crouching down or running away, but such options did not exist for the renowned elf mage Noah.
'... As if I just happened to be passing by. Calmly.'
"... Noah-nim?"
"An elf...?"
The reactions were extremely contrasting.
One had an expression that seemed pleased. The other turned pale and took a step back.
"Ah, Priest Irene! See! How can we trust an elf mage who hides outside someone's office and eavesdrops on conversations! Ahem! It seems there's no need to continue this discussion!"
"... Bishop-nim!"
"Enough! I'm busy, so I'll take my leave now. Staffing is absolutely impossible, so remember that!"
"......"
Valerius stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The BANG! was so loud it echoed all the way to the window.
Elize blinked her eyes repeatedly, checking the mood. Next to her, Noah looked at Irene with an indifferent expression.
Looking at the two of them, Irene smoothed her disheveled hair and let out a hollow laugh.
"... Please come inside. I can at least offer you some warm tea."
"I, I also want to drink tea made by Senior Priest Irene-nim...!"
"Priest Elize... please go tidy up the flowerbed first. You were the one who stepped on the twig, right?"
"... Eek."
Noah took a step back and shrugged his shoulders lightly. Showing that the spot where he had been standing was clean dirt without a single weed.
===
I had thought I would naturally meet her if I came to the church. But I didn't expect it to be a complete one-on-one meeting like this.
Pour—
I sat quietly on the reception room sofa, watching Irene's back as she prepared tea.
Her red hair cascaded down past her slender waist to just above her hips.
'... And she does priest work wearing something like that.'
I became certain once again.
This is definitely a world from an adult game. After all, what priest in the world walks around wearing clothes like that? You can clearly see her thighs through the side slits.
I didn't notice when Elize wore it,
but with Irene wearing this outfit, it's quite stimulating.
All the men who join this church must be bewitched by that Irene's hips.
"... I never imagined Noah-nim would visit the church. If you had contacted me in advance, I would have prepared better to welcome you... I'm afraid I've shown you an unseemly sight."
"Ahem. It's fine. It wasn't a formal visit anyway. I was just taking a stroll, thinking I might look around while walking. That's when I met Priest Elize."
I deliberately put on a haughty expression and picked up the teacup Irene had placed on the table.
Gulp—
First, one sip.
The warm, sweet tea went down my throat. Then I quickly picked up a biscuit with my thumb and forefinger and popped it into my mouth.
Crunch, crunch.
"This biscuit is something I've never seen around here."
"If you like it, shall I pack some for you to take home? They're homemade biscuits. I made them with the church children."
"... That's alright. I can't take the children's things."
Children...
Recalling the conversation I overheard earlier, she must mean the orphanage children.
And she had mentioned my name back then.
She must have realized I heard that conversation, so why isn't she bringing it up?
I took another sip of tea while watching Irene's reaction.
Sitting across from me, just fidgeting with her teacup.
Where did the woman arguing with the bishop go? Now she looks like a shy maiden, barely moving her lips.
Those pink lips.
Eyes that are ambiguously half-closed.
What should I say, typical subculture-style priestess vibe?
Anyway, she's definitely a beauty.
Of course, even if it's a request from such a beauty, I'm not so easily swayed as to accept everything unconditionally.
Sure, girls who smell of perfume are better than men reeking of sweat and grime...
But there's no reason to be nice to girls when I'm not getting laid.
... The important thing is compensation.
"It seems you have something to say to me."
As I broached the subject first, Irene flinched and raised her head.
"... You must have heard my conversation with the bishop earlier?"
"Elven senses are more sensitive than humans', so we end up hearing things we'd rather not."
For example, the occasional moans between men and women from the room next to my lodging.
"I'm embarrassed. It seems Noah-nim has discovered the church's shameful secret... Despite this magnificent church building, we can't even properly find a teacher to educate the children..."
"... Didn't you mention my name?"
"Th-that was...! You were the only skilled mage that came to mind... I accidentally... Noah-nim is a busy person..."
Irene shook her head vigorously in denial, but in truth, my decision had been made the moment I ate the biscuit.
The biscuit was quite delicious.
That made me think the church food might be pretty good too. This could count as a kind of request. Though as I heard, the pay probably won't be high.
Can't be helped.
For the sake of my extremely ordinary elf life, teaching magic seems like a pretty good option.
I've been teaching that brat Kal magic lately anyway.
"Irene, you would know this, but thanks to the city being so peaceful recently, there aren't many requests. Adventurers and mercenaries are all practically unemployed and idle. I'm no different. In that sense, I can take on educating the children until things get busy. The pay can be appropriately low."
"... Noah-nim!!"
As soon as I finished speaking, Irene shot up from her seat. She stood up so abruptly that the teacup on the table rattled lightly.
She quickly circled around the table and came to stand before me.
Then she bowed and grabbed my hand. Her deep cleavage was plainly visible to my eyes.
"How can you be so kind-hearted! I believed in you! The way you never hesitate to step forward and resolve even the residents' minor requests...!"
"... Ahem. But is the bishop alright with this? I said I'd do it, but I believe the bishop said staffing was impossible."
"It's fine! Valerius that pig! Oh my, my mistake. The bishop said that! I'll hire Noah-nim with my own money! Then there's no problem...! Hahaha!"
Emergency. Irene was getting excited.
She grabbed my hand tightly and pushed her face close, making her cleavage constantly distract me as my gaze kept wandering there. A renowned elf can't afford to be distracted by mere female cleavage.
I steadied my mind by silently singing the national anthem of a country I can no longer return to.
"... Regarding payment, it doesn't necessarily have to be money. For example, being treated to meals would be sufficient..."
"Noah-nim... How can you be so kind-hearted. I, Senior Priest Irene, am deeply moved!"
It seems I've solved my food expenses with this...
But how do I get out of this situation?
Irene showed no intention of letting go of my hand.
She even sat down right next to me, clinging close, and began looking at me with sparkling eyes.
I felt a sense of déjà vu here.
This was exactly why I had been subtly avoiding Irene until now. Last time she suddenly started proselytizing to me...
"... Indeed, someone like Noah-nim should join our church!"
"As I said last time, I have no interest in religion."
"I don't believe doctrine must come first unconditionally. If one practices 'His' teachings through actions, that's enough. In that sense, Noah-nim is fully qualified for sainthood...!"
"......"
This girl, she's already lost her mind.
===
At that moment, the pig... no, Valerius was quite vigorously relieving the stress he received from Irene.
The sound of pig slaughter was a bonus.
"Huff, huff... Tighter...!"
"Bishop-nim...! Can, can a girl like me go to... to heaven...!"
"Of course you can! I'll send you to heaven, so stop talking and put strength in your lower mouth!"
"Hek, hek... Yes, yesss... Bishop niiim......"
The secret VIP room of his regular brothel.
Valerius had thrown off his priest robes, his blubbery body jiggling as he discharged his desires.
As usual, he irresponsibly ejaculated inside her vagina without any contraception.
Perhaps because she received that heavy body...
The woman fell fast asleep immediately after sex ended.
Without giving the woman a single affectionate glance, Valerius leaned against the chair by the window and lit a cigarette.
"... A loose woman like you talking about heaven."
His mind recalled the silver-haired elf he encountered outside his office during the day - Noah.
A pretty-faced bitch.
Just pretty-faced? Her breasts are as big as Senior Priest Irene's. Plus hips that any man would want to grab.
But...
You can't tell an elf's age by appearance.
She could easily be some ancient hag much older than himself with his sagging, disgusting belly.
Being old means having more life experience regardless of species. So her strength as a mage is understandable, and at the same time...
She must have plenty of experience with men too.
That elf bitch who acted so haughty and laughed at him is just a woman in the end. She must have been pinned under countless men, crying and moaning.
'... A woman's value ultimately lies in her lower hole. What value is there in a hole that isn't tight?'
That elf mage must definitely be loose. In that sense, that elf bitch doesn't qualify as a 'woman' to Valerius.
A real woman is...
"Maybe I'll visit that place again."
Though he doesn't know her face,
despite having fucked countless women, he's never encountered one as tight as that woman.
Valerius quietly gathered his clothes and dressed himself.