Look Back
"Because you're the best at it."
"Me?"
"Yeah. Your mental state might not be exactly intact, but your skill is still above ours."
Was it really at that level?
Of course I was better, but I hadn't really shown it yet. Even last time I sang, I thought I'd gotten so swept up in the emotion that I'd overacted way too much.
"I'm mad that a guy who never knows how to be humble is pretending to be humble."
"Yeah. Seoha, that look in your eyes is kind of a problem."
Do Yeong's criticism shocked me for a second, but I recovered quickly.
Maybe it was because my bandmates had such good ears for music. They could pick up on even the skill lying hidden deep inside me, the part I'd never properly shown them.
Even if they were still lacking in some ways, these guys had enough talent to make it big in the music scene.
And they listened to me well?
I liked that.
In my previous life, every time I tried to choose a song, we'd end up in something like the thirty-one-million, eight-hundred-forty-eight-thousand, five-hundred-seventy-fifth song-selection meeting.
"Then I'm the leader."
"What? That's a separate issue. In a band, the leader is obviously the guitarist. I know you're good, but leader doesn't really suit you."
"Seoha, isn't it better for the leader to be someone who's done it before? I mean, I'm the class president."
"Hey, by that logic I should do it. I'm the student council president of Cheongsol High School."
The reaction was intense.
"You said I was the best, though?"
"An ace is supposed to be the leader. The leader should be someone who can carry the ace, too."
And so the first leader-selection meeting began, and in the end, it turned into rock-paper-scissors.
Maybe heaven was on my side, because thankfully, I won.
Wasn't this a miracle just as precious as regression itself?
"Good. As leader, I'm adding one more song to the set."
"What? You're saying we should do four songs?"
"There should be at least one song I choose."
"And you're not even the player."
"Was that an insult to the vocalist just now?"
"Yep."
"Whatever. Anyway, this one."
I suggested a new song for the setlist.
When we played it, the members looked puzzled.
"What is this, Japanese music?"
"That's an unexpected pick. What kind of song is it?"
"Uh, well, this is, so, um—"
While I floundered, Do Yeong found something and played it.
"Hmm, looks like anime music?"
After checking the video Do Yeong had pulled up, the members naturally stared at me with very serious expressions.
"You... watch stuff like this?"
"No. It's not that I like this or anything—"
"You don't have to be embarrassed. I think hobbies like this should be respected."
"Seoha has an unexpectedly adorable side."
"No, I said I don't like it."
"The music isn't bad. You're using a recorded drum track, right?"
"The guitar's flashy. Nice."
"What can we do? If Cha Seoha likes it, we go with it."
I said I didn't like it!
This was a Japanese anime song Kang Min liked!
I picked it because if he stumbled onto the performance video on YouTube, there was even the tiniest chance Kang Min might see it.
I don't even really know what this is!
What had we been like in the first life?
To be honest, I didn't remember the very beginning of the band all that clearly.
I'd quit taekwondo because of an injury and accepted Do Yeong's offer without much hesitation.
More than wanting to make music, I think I just wanted to do something.
But I learned that these guys were genuinely good people, and I realized how fun it was to make music together.
I found out I had real talent as a vocalist, and, strangely enough, that every one of my members was gifted too.
Throwing myself into music with that hope in my chest had become the most beautiful, sparkling memory of my life.
And now.
Memory had become reality, and hope had become a wish.
So over the last ten days, I understood something clearly.
This life wasn't about paying back my friends.
It was about running toward the light together.
And the beginning of that was today's busking.
Banwol Park was a place people often visited for walks, with an open square beside a wide lakefront.
At that hour, when the sun was stretching shadows long, four boys gathered there.
"How do you feel?"
At Cha Seoha's question, Heo Junseong thought about it for a moment before speaking.
"I think I'd feel wronged."
"Why?"
"Because we practiced like hell, and if we botch the performance, I'd feel cheated."
"Was it that hellish? Weren't we just at a normal level?"
"...You demon."
Unaware that he'd forced a top idol's practice routine on a high school band, Cha Seoha tilted his head, but Lee Do Yeong and Kim Jihoo were firmly on Heo Junseong's side.
"Then we just have to do well."
"We will do well. If we don't, how much more are you going to nag us?"
"When have I ever nagged you?"
"Always. Every moment. All the time."
"Hmm...?"
"Anyway, it is a shame not having a drummer."
At Kim Jihoo's words, Cha Seoha shrugged.
"You never know. After seeing today's performance, some great drummer might come find us and ask to join."
"Why would a great drummer not already have a team?"
"Wasn't I a great musician without a team too?"
"...Annoying."
"Wow. That's the first time I've heard Kim Jihoo say someone was annoying. It's usually hard to out-annoy that guy."
"I like Seoha, but he is a little annoying."
Chuckling, Cha Seoha looked over the members.
Each of them was setting up their instruments and chatting as casually as could be, but their hands were trembling just a little.
They all seemed nervous.
Well, this was their first band formation, and they had hardly ever played together as a full group.
Kim Jihoo and Heo Junseong had done some busking, but only three or four times.
And for Lee Do Yeong, this was definitely his first.
"Nervous?"
"Nervous? What nerves! Not at all!"
Heo Junseong answered, clenching his fist tightly.
Was he trying to hold back the shaking?
"Right. You guys aren't nervous right now."
"I think I am nervous."
Lee Do Yeong answered in a trembling voice.
"Seoha, you're not shaking?"
"I am."
"Your hands are sweating too?"
"Yeah, of course."
"So Seoha gets nervous too."
"No, this isn't nervousness. It's excitement."
Kim Jihoo looked at Cha Seoha with an amused expression.
"I'm trembling just like you guys. I think I have cold sweat on my palms too, and I don't really know what to do. Isn't that how you feel too?"
"Well, kind of!"
"I'm feeling the same thing."
"I do have that tendency a little."
"Then think about it carefully. The applause and cheers from the audience after we show them what we've practiced properly."
At Cha Seoha's words, the three of them seemed to get a lift from it.
"I'm not nervous because I'm scared. I'm nervous because I can't wait to show people what we've practiced. I'm so eager I could burst!"
At Cha Seoha's words, the three friends' hearts started pounding faster.
Excitement and fear shared the same signal.
The only difference lay in how the mind interpreted it.
"You guys. How do you feel right now?"
"Excited!"
"Yeah, I think I feel the same way as Seoha."
Kim Jihoo answered with a smile, eyes lowered toward the keyboard.
Cha Seoha grinned.
"Then let's go."
And so their first performance began.
SUN
Kim Jihoo's gentle piano announced the start of the performance, and Heo Junseong's guitar sent a message to the passersby in Banwol Park.
Come listen to this performance.
It was going to be much cooler than you'd expect.
As the pedestrians' steps gradually slowed, Cha Seoha's singing began.
It stayed in a low range.
The delivery was almost careless, as if he were simply letting the words fall from his mouth.
Overall, it was an easy, unforced opening.
The mood fit a lazy summer evening perfectly.
"They're performing?"
"Whoa, what the hell. The singer's handsome."
"The guy playing guitar on the left is cute too."
"That's the bass."
More than the music itself, most people stopped in their tracks because they were drawn in by their looks.
After all, the first thing people saw was the strongest impression.
But what would linger with them in the end was the music.
The song moved on.
The vocal line gradually rose in pitch, and after the short intro and first verse passed, the atmosphere shifted in an instant.
Climb on!
Climb on!
With the recorded drum track and Lee Do Yeong's bass joining in, the energy exploded at once.
It was the force created when everyone's playing came together.
When people heard the song for the first time, this was usually where their first reaction came out.
So human ears really were all alike, weren't they?
After the first verse, once the music grew fierce, the passersby became audience members one by one.
"Wow."
"What the hell, they're good."
The main instrument from the original song had been replaced by guitar.
The newly chosen sharp-toned sound gave off an epic atmosphere.
Then came Kim Jihoo's synth bass following behind it.
These two instruments leading the song were almost a spoiler for its ending.
The ensemble was excellent.
No one's flaws stood out; instead, they pulled one another forward, walking together in a perfect blend.
And then came the chorus.
If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Climb on!
By then, Cha Seoha decided it was time and shifted his gaze toward Heo Junseong.
The most important part of the song wasn't the generous, spacious piano intro.
It wasn't the verse that sounded like checking in on an old friend, nor the chorus that naturally brought a smile to your face.
It was the nineteen-second guitar solo in the second half of the song.
It was forceful, yet embracing everyone; reckless, yet turning back to look behind it.
That contradictory guitar run seemed as if it would fit nowhere else but this song.
It was the killing part that completed the track, the very identity of the song.
But...
Can you do it?
Until now, Heo Junseong still hadn't been able to express that feeling.
The technical difficulty had already been covered through practice.
But Heo Junseong's greatest strength and weakness alike was that he plunged in too deeply.
He couldn't leave even a tiny space behind him to look back.
Still, Cha Seoha believed in Heo Junseong.
"All right, stop! Everyone, hold it."
On the first day they all gathered to practice for busking, Cha Seoha cut the ensemble off again.
It was already the sixth interruption in the same section.
"Aaaagh! It's me again, isn't it?"
"Yeah, Heo Junseong. Don't get worked up—play it calmly. You're the only one who sticks out too much."
"This isn't easy..."
Every time the guitar solo came around, Heo Junseong would completely run wild.
Kim Jihoo's face was pinched, and Lee Do Yeong looked worried, but Cha Seoha was different.
"Listen carefully, Heo Junseong. This is a good thing."
"...How."
"Most guitarists can't throw themselves that deeply into every practice. But the fact that you go berserk means you're immersed so completely you can't even see what's around you."
"...."
"So you're someone who plays with a narrow, deep sense. Put another way, your sense only evolves when the next level of your skill can evolve with it."
"Sense..."
"There isn't a single piece of music in this world that exists as a single note. Hell, forget music. Even the most-played C chord in the world is still a composite of three notes, right?"
Look back.
Because there would be a better sound there.