Impervious to a Hundred Poisons
The very next day, I drew up a certain list and asked both the Association and Geumgang Guild to procure everything on it. Before long, word came back that the whole order had been filled.
"You're certain this is what you actually requested?"
"Everything's here just as I asked. Do give the two of them my thanks."
Hearing that, the secretary scrunched up her face and walked out of the training hall.
Honestly, I wished I could have followed her right out that door—and who could blame me? Every herb laid out before me reeked to high heaven.
Just how bad does a smell have to be to do that to Awakeners?
Even by my own judgment, eating these things was a bridge too far. But eat them I had to. It was absolutely necessary for the future—and if this attempt failed, I would simply have to find something stronger.
"Time to begin, I suppose?"
I asked myself the question. Asked whether this was really the right thing to do. And no matter how many times I turned it over, the answer hadn't changed since the moment I'd walked in.
"I have to... I have to... I have to..."
I kept hypnotizing myself as I lifted one of the herbs in front of me. Most of them had gone past khaki and were verging on black. In scent, in color, and in taste, every one of them was utterly, irredeemably awful.
Well, they weren't herbs to begin with. They were poisonous plants.
Poison. Every plant gathered here acted on the body as toxin, not medicine. And I had collected them for exactly one reason: to eat them.
Gulp! I swallowed one whole, and the herb didn't betray my expectations—it delivered the worst taste imaginable.
"Ugh."
And it didn't stop at the taste. True to its poisonous nature, the reaction hit almost at once: a sharp sting in my belly that flared into vicious cramps.
Next. Right now.
I forced down another herb. This time my legs began to shake and the feeling in them went dull. Without stopping, I shoved the next poison into my mouth immediately.
"Uurk!"
The moment it went down, nausea surged up and a splitting headache bloomed. Three poisonous plants so far. Twenty-seven to go. All I had to do was repeat this twenty-seven more times.
"All I had to do," my ass, damn it!
I wanted to march back in time and beat the daylights out of my past self for ever coming up with this. One poison on its own was bearable. The problem was that their effects hit all at once, and my body simply couldn't take it.
I can't stop here.
I hurried the next poison into my mouth. This time I could feel my own blood moving through me with terrible vividness, every nerve standing on end.
I'm losing my mind...
The pain, already hard enough to endure, grew worse with my senses sharpened. The feeling in my legs came flooding back too, bringing agony worse than before.
N-next...
I snatched up the next herb and crammed it down. Black spots spread across my whole body. It inflicted no immediate pain, which made it almost gentle compared to the others.
Next. Gathering my momentum, I took the next poison fast—and my ears went numb, so that not a single sound reached me.
Next. Now it felt as though my legs were being torn from my body.
Next. The feeling in my arms vanished. Twisting my body every which way, I somehow managed to get the next poison down.
Next. My sense of taste deserted me—which, if nothing else, meant I no longer had to endure that horrific flavor.
Next. This time my sixth sense seized solid. The thought crossed my mind that a poison capable of killing my intuition might be the most dangerous of the lot.
Next. And now I went blind. The one mercy left was that only a single poisonous plant remained.
Finally. The last one.
I scooped up the final herb however I could and forced it into my mouth. The instant it went down, blood surged back up my throat, bringing pain beyond anything I had imagined.
"Hurk—!"
Blood spilled from my lips. I wanted to say something, but my jaw had locked and no words would come.
And I have to hold this state even longer than this...?
It occurred to me that hell might only be beginning now. Taste, hearing, sight, sixth sense—four senses stolen, with only smell and touch remaining. And in truth, smell had long since been paralyzed by the stench of the poisons, while touch was so drowned in pain that it couldn't do its job at all.
What frightens me most is how much of this I still have left.
Losing one's senses always brings a terror beyond imagining. Even when it's something you've survived once before.
I wonder how much time has passed...
The pain had grown familiar. At some point, I had become able to think without it demanding all of my attention.
Have I gotten it yet?
Without my senses, I had no way of knowing how long it had been. Part of me hoped only a few minutes had gone by—but it could just as easily have been seconds, or hours.
Hm... I think this might have been a bust?
The plan, after all, had been to consume every poisonous plant, acquire the trait, and then purify all of the poison with holy water. It had gone sideways because I hadn't expected each individual poison to be this potent.
Well... someone will come save me.
With stats as high as mine, I could hold out for days even in a poisoned state. And in the meantime, someone would eventually enter the training hall.
Yeah. They will.
To shake off this fear of the unknown, that was the only thing left to believe.
Not long after I finished organizing my thoughts, I let the last thread of consciousness slip away.
When I next came to, I was lying in a hospital intensive care unit.
So someone did come in after all. Thank god.
I looked around. No one else in sight—a private room, even by ICU standards. Judging by the wallpaper and the paintings, it didn't look like any ordinary private ICU, either. And there was one more thing: a woman asleep with her head propped against my bed.
"Hold on... why are you here?"
The mutter slipped out on its own. With good reason—the person slumped over my bedside was the secretary. The very woman who had dumped me in the association chairman's office and walked away was now face-down and fast asleep against my bed.
What is this situation, exactly?
I pinched my own cheek and gave it a tug. Strangely enough, it hurt. So this was reality, not a dream.
"Mm..."
I tried to wake her, only to realize I didn't know her name. And somehow, rousing her with a cheery "Hey there, Miss Secretary~" didn't feel right either. In the end, I left her sleeping and checked my system messages.
You have consumed 100 different poisons and endured for 1 hour.
You have acquired the trait: Impervious to a Hundred Poisons.
Just as I'd intended, the trait Impervious to a Hundred Poisons was mine. I had eaten thirty varieties, but those plants triggered chain reactions in one another, and thirty poisons became a hundred—that was the only reason it had registered. Which was why the order in which I ate them had mattered so much.
The problem was what came next: Impervious to a Thousand Poisons and Impervious to Ten Thousand Poisons.
I have to do this two more times, with even stronger poisons?
The experience had been searing enough that a traitorous little voice whispered, maybe just... don't?
Well—at least my preparations are complete.
Why had I gone after Impervious to a Hundred Poisons now? Simple: it was groundwork before going to North Korea. That land was choked with poisonous mist three hundred and sixty-five days a year. Blunder in unprepared, and even your bones would melt away. There are protective items, sure, but they cost a fortune. Worse, those items were single-use—gone the moment you spent them. Mine was not a household that could afford such waste. Hence, the trait.
Now all that's left is to formally bring my proposal to the Association Chairman.
Whether he would actually grant permission was anyone's guess—but you have to swing at least once.
"Mmmm..."
Just then the secretary beside me stirred, then began to murmur something in her sleep.
"Mmh... the report... ah..."
I couldn't make it out. Just as I leaned my ear closer, I sensed someone outside the door. A presence I already knew, so I didn't bother tensing up.
"Oh? You're awake?"
"Yes."
The one who opened the door and stepped in was Guildmaster Han Min-joon. Judging by his clothes, he had come straight over the moment he finished work.
"How's the body holding up?"
"Thanks to you, I feel like I could take flight."
It was no figure of speech. My condition truly was at its absolute peak—given half a chance, I really might have flown.
"Glad to hear it. So—did you get what you were after?"
"Yes."
"I went through my own share of hell earning that one, you know."
As expected of Guildmaster Han Min-joon: he possessed Impervious to a Hundred Poisons—and quite possibly Impervious to a Thousand Poisons on top of it.
"How many days was I laid up in here, exactly?"
"Hmm... you lost consciousness and didn't wake for exactly ten days."
Ten days. Long, if you chose to call it long; short, if you chose to call it short. By my own yardstick, though—ten times over my planned schedule—it was unmistakably long.
"I passed the word along to your family properly."
"And what exactly did you tell them?"
"Mm... that you ate thirty varieties of poisonous plants, poisoned yourself from head to toe, and got carted off to a hospital."
I was a dead man. No mother on earth would spare me after hearing that. Dad was an A-rank Awakener, so he would understand why I'd done it—but he would obviously keep his mouth shut around Mom rather than get dragged in with me.
"I'll go ahead and say a prayer for your soul in advance, then."
"This is your fault!"
At my shout, the guildmaster only chuckled—ho ho—and waved it off. I had truly no words for that brand of slippery good humor.
"Nnngh..."
Just then, the secretary showed signs of joining the living. I waited a moment, and she rubbed her eyes and sat up.
"Huh? Guildmaster?"
Spotting Han Min-joon seated right in front of her, she tilted her head. Then, at last, her gaze found me.
"...Huh?"
"Hello there..."
Her eyes went round as saucers at the sight of me sitting up. I gave an awkward greeting and looked away.
And then, catastrophe.
"You're awake!"
With that cry, she flung herself into my arms. Right in front of Guildmaster Han Min-joon, no less.
Why? What is going on? Why is this secretary, of all people—?
Every thought conceivable flashed through my head, and while my brain sat frozen, she burrowed her face into the nape of my neck like an affectionate puppy.
"Ho ho."
I stayed turned to stone, unable to manage a single movement, until Guildmaster Han Min-joon studied the two of us with an odd glint in his eyes and let out a low chuckle.
"G-get off me!"
Only then, coming back to my senses, did I pry the secretary off my body. I had no clue what was happening, but I understood one thing instantly: lingering like this was dangerous.
Keep this up, and the guildmaster will get exactly the wrong idea.
And even if the misunderstanding never took root, he would squeeze this for every drop of mileage it was worth. On that much, I'd stake my life. Which was why I moved fast.
"Don't tell me, son... you and our secretary..."
And so, at the guildmaster—already revving up to milk it for laughs—and the secretary alike, I hollered:
"Both of you, OUT. NOW!"