Helplessness
The grand design drawn by the Emperor had been utterly shattered by Roan and his companions.
Everything regarding the demonic manifestation and the demon army was exposed, stripping their carefully laid schemes of all power in an instant.
The nobles joined forces to rebuild the listing empire, and in the process, a massive overhaul of the arena—the very symbol of the empire—was announced.
The atmosphere outside was loud and chaotic.
But unlike the rest of the empire, an awkward peace hung over the lodging of Roan's party.
"...Good job."
"Ah, right. You too, Jane."
"It's not like I did much."
"Come on, you did plenty. You even brought him his sword..."
Perhaps because their sense of helplessness ran too deep, the two could do nothing but reminisce about what had happened.
I think I'm going to throw up...
The suffocating atmosphere was giving Charbun severe indigestion.
Yet, he too felt a lingering sense of regret.
He hadn't been able to play any active role in his very first battle.
Having just sworn to dedicate his life to his savior, the bitterness of his uselessness tasted especially foul.
Regardless of his inner turmoil, the halting, fragile conversation between the other two dragged on.
"...Are you feeling okay?"
"Huh? Yeah. I didn't really get hurt this time."
"That's good."
Jane, who had been speaking in fits and starts, cast her gaze downward.
"Hey, Roan. I'm really sorry to ask, but... do you think we could rest for about a week?"
"Hmm? Here?"
"Yeah... No, actually, not here. I'd like to change lodgings. Even if it's just me."
Roan shook his head.
"No, that won't do. If we move, we all move together."
His stance was clear: they had to act as a group.
Jane knew this well enough.
Yet, as if she had a guilty conscience, her shoulders flinched slightly.
Roan shifted his gaze, seemingly noticing her reaction.
However, he chose not to voice it.
...He didn't notice, right? Thank goodness.
Relieved, Jane offered her suggestion.
"If possible, somewhere quiet would be nice. A secluded place where people don't pass by often."
"Ah, in that case, how about the slums? I know of a place..."
The back alleys of the slums.
Since ordinary thugs stood no chance against them, and the rent was dirt cheap, it was an excellent choice.
...
Some time after they relocated, deep into the night.
Belgard, who was sharing a room with Jane, blearily opened her eyes.
A sickening, gloomy energy had roused her from her sleep.
It feels similar to the Emperor's energy...
It was a sensation that dragged up terrible memories.
Following the faint trace of that energy, she looked up.
Jane was sitting at the desk, doing something.
Even though darkness had completely enveloped the room, she hadn't lit a single candle.
"Jane...?"
"Eek!"
At the quiet voice, Jane flinched violently.
Though she had always been afraid of the dark and easily startled, her reaction this time was different.
It was the reaction of a child caught red-handed doing something bad.
"...Oh, Belgard. What's up? Need to use the restroom?"
"No... I just felt a strange, unpleasant energy."
"Really? I don't feel anything. Aren't you just paranoid because of what happened with the Emperor?"
Belgard stood up from her bed.
In response, Jane hurriedly threw her body over the desk.
"...What were you doing?"
"It's really nothing. Just reading an interesting book."
"How interesting could it be for you to read in the pitch black and scramble to hide it?"
Her entire body language screamed guilt.
Seeing Belgard's absolute certainty, Jane closed her eyes and thought for a moment.
After a brief silence, Jane spoke, as if she had finally made up her mind.
"Are you really satisfied with this?"
"...With our strength, you mean?"
"Yeah. We trained, we had confidence, but it still wasn't enough. We keep running into enemies our attacks can't even scratch. And we're going to keep meeting them in the future."
Jane had pierced right through the very worry Belgard had been harboring.
Perhaps overwhelmed by her own words, Jane took a breath to steady herself before continuing.
"Honestly, I thought I'd be able to keep up somehow. But I was wrong. It feels like he could do everything on his own. The gap between us is just too wide."
She was showing her vulnerability, letting out all the pent-up frustration she had kept locked away.
Once unleashed, her resentment and irritation could not be easily contained.
"If it was going to be like this, why did he even look for us? Why did he say he wanted to find other comrades? He could probably finish everything by himself."
"...But he said things would be different in the future. If we keep gaining experience and building ourselves up..."
"No."
Jane cut her off.
It was the same flat, absolute denial that Roan so often used.
"We can never win using our current methods. This isn't like the old days when I lived in my own little world of self-satisfaction. We can't go on like this. I... I can't wait for that future."
She needed power right now.
"Back then, if Roan hadn't blocked those attacks for me, I would have died ten times over. If he hadn't ended it in a single blow, we would have tasted an even deeper despair."
—I don't ever want to experience that again.
Having said her piece, Jane showed Belgard the book she had been reading.
"...Demon Summoning."
"Exactly. And you can guess why I'm showing this to you, right?"
"You want me to turn a blind eye."
Jane nodded.
"I want power right now. And the greatest strength I can think of right now is that bastard of an Emperor who sold his soul to a demon."
He had retained his free will.
If she could achieve the same, it was well worth the risk.
"Belgard. You felt that helplessness too. You hate it, don't you? We can't just ride his coattails forever."
"That's..."
"I've already made up my mind. And as long as you keep your mouth shut, I can pull this off."
Impatience.
It wasn't that Belgard couldn't understand.
To be completely honest, Belgard wavered for a brief moment at her words.
But it was only for a moment.
Even if she obtained immediate power, it would ultimately lead to ruin.
A ruin that wouldn't just claim Jane, but could drag everyone else down with her.
I have to tell Roan.
But...
"...Alright."
For now, she would keep quiet.
There was nothing to be gained by starting an argument when they were alone.
I'll tell him tomorrow. That Jane is planning something related to demons.
Having made her decision, Belgard steeled her resolve.
Jane's crimson eyes stared intently at her.
"Belgard."
"...Yes?"
"I've noticed this for a while now, but you are a terrible liar."
"Ah."
Jane turned her gaze back to the desk.
"Go ahead and tell him if you want. I don't care."
But.
"If he says no, if he tries to stop me, I'm leaving the party."
Leaving the party.
For Roan, who cherished his companions above all else, this was the worst-case scenario.
...Oh, heavens.
The crushing weight of knowing the truth pressed down on Belgard's shoulders.
Her shoulders grew heavy.
"Of course, I'll come back eventually."
*Flip.*
Jane murmured casually as she flipped a page.
"Though I might be a little different by then."
Jane's words were like an anchor dropped onto Belgard's already burdened shoulders.
The night deepened, carrying Belgard's agonizing dilemma with it.
And the next day.
"Huh? Jane, Belgard, both of you look exhausted. What were you two up to?"
"Roan."
Belgard, who had spent a sleepless night sorting through her thoughts, spoke with quiet resolve.
She addressed Roan calmly.
"Jane is trying to summon a demon."
"...D-Demons, you say?"
Charbun spoke up hesitantly, as if there was something he wanted to say.
But he had not yet fully integrated into the party, making it difficult for him to voice his thoughts freely.
"I don't know if she's following the exact same path as the Emperor. But she is definitely trying to summon a demon."
Belgard squeezed her eyes shut as she delivered the final blow.
She didn't want this party to fall apart.
Partly due to her naturally kind disposition, but even more so because she had grown deeply attached to them.
"...Jane."
Hearing Belgard's accusation, Roan turned to Jane.
"Is it true?"
"Yeah, it's true."
Contrary to expectations, Jane nodded readily instead of making excuses.
There was a hint of helplessness and tension in her demeanor.
Yet, she showed no sense of betrayal toward Belgard. Perhaps she had already expected this.
"Why?"
"Because I realized we can't go on like this."
"So you chose a demon?"
The air grew as tense as a balloon on the verge of popping.
Charbun anxiously watched their expressions.
He felt it would be better for the tension to just explode; this suffocating, unresolved standoff was giving him a knot in his stomach.
"Even if you say no, Roan, I'm not changing my mind. This is my way, and this is how I'll close the gap. If you try to stop me—"
I'm leaving.
But Jane's lips merely trembled, unable to bring herself to utter those words.
"I'll l—"
"No!"
A denial.
As always, Roan blurted out a flat refusal—though this was the one time he absolutely shouldn't have.
"R-Roan!"
Belgard cried out in shock.
"We literally just dealt with a demon crisis...! Even if she's our comrade, this is a bit..."
Roan shook his head, instantly dismissing her concern.
"Actually, I'm glad. It shows Jane really considers us her comrades. With her usual personality, her pride would've made her deny everything."
Jane remained silent.
It was an admission that he was right.
"Honestly, I had a feeling. Ever since you suggested changing lodgings."
He hadn't known it involved demons, but he knew she was plotting something.
"That's why I'm even happier. Belgard might have brought it up first, but you still admitted to it of your own free will."
Roan patted Jane on the shoulder.
"So, you want to summon a demon to get stronger? How are you going to do it? Are you planning to sell your soul?"
"...Yeah. The Emperor sold his soul but kept his free will. So I figure I can..."
"That's a bit different."
Roan stated flatly.
It was a complete pivot from his praise just moments ago.
"That only worked because the demon and the Emperor were like-minded, and they seemed to have a mutual affinity. Normally, it never goes down like that."
He was right.
And Jane knew it, too.
The truth was, she didn't actually have a solid plan.
She was simply being driven by sheer impatience.
"Then what am I supposed to do? Are you just going to praise me and leave it at that? Tell me to give up on demon summoning and grow the honest way? While I'm taking my sweet time doing that, am I just supposed to sit back and watch you solve every single crisis like I've been doing?"
"W-Wait a minute, Jane."
Belgard tried to calm the overheating Jane.
Charbun hesitated for a moment before trying to wedge his massive frame between the two.
And then,
"I never told you to stop the demon summoning!"
Roan's shout froze both Belgard and Charbun in their tracks.
It also doused Jane's boiling anger like a bucket of ice water.
"Go ahead and do it! Don't hesitate—do whatever pops into your head!"
Roan spoke loudly, making sure the other two heard him clearly.
"But! I need you to promise me one thing!"
No matter what she planned, she had to share it with her comrades without hiding anything.
"Because I want us to see this through to the end together. So whatever it is, tell us first. That way, we can all join forces and help you."
His boundless tolerance, embracing her to the very end.
The venom in Jane, which had driven her to hide and distance herself, seemed to melt away under his warmth.
Well, in truth, it was less about being touched and more about her being utterly dumbfounded.
But as long as the outcome was good, did it really matter?
*Sigh.*
Jane let out a long, heavy sigh.
It was as if she were expelling all the heavy, stagnant air settled deep within her lungs.
Having cleared her chest, Jane looked at Roan.
Her eyes were remarkably clearer now.
"Alright, fine. Let's say you're letting me summon a demon. How exactly are you going to help?"
"Let's beat it to a pulp!"
"...Huh?"
"We beat it half to death and rob it of its stuff!"
The return of a scheme so wicked it would make even a demon weep.