Are You Laughing?
Blood pooled across the ground. Human and demon limbs drifted through it like wreckage on a tide.
Hell.
No—this was unmistakably reality. But that was how it felt.
"Given up at last?"
A ghastly figure, as if human and demon had been fused together. The question came from the Demon God who had turned this continent into hell.
I panted, then spat the words out.
"Shut up, ugly bastard."
"…Hah."
For the first time, the Demon God laughed.
Facing his killing intent, a strange ease washed over me even as my chest burned hot. Still, the Demon God could not move—someone's holy power held him fast. Wounds would free him to move again, of course, but for now he stayed put.
"Sword Demon…."
Someone called me.
It was not a moniker I cared for, so I ignored it.
"Sword Demon, you son of a bitch…."
I turned my head.
A man slumped against a great boulder, body hanging limp. His brilliant silver hair had long since gone red.
"Not dead yet?"
"I can't die and leave you alone…."
I was the only human still standing on that sea of blood.
"We were never the sort to worry about each other."
"If the last human left alive is a madman, I won't be able to face the Goddess."
"Ah."
That, I understood.
I was the Sword Demon, called the strongest villain on the continent. He was the man called the strongest Holy Knight. So he had spent his days chasing me, and I had gone my own way whether he followed or not.
Old memories rose unbidden, and my brow twisted hard.
"Stop following me, Ludian. Planning to chase me all the way to hell this time?"
"……."
Ludian gave a hollow laugh.
Today, every time I opened my mouth, someone else smiled. Another epithet for the list: clown.
"Sword Demon. Can you win?"
Ludian looked at the Demon God standing motionless.
Who was the Demon God?
Father of all demons. A god with power enough to crush the world alone. That was no idle tale.
I clenched my sword.
"I can win."
Ludian glanced at me, then spoke in a somewhat easier tone.
"A pity."
"What is."
"If I'd realized sooner that you weren't simply a villain, we might have managed a better outcome."
I snorted lightly.
"Your Holy Empire decided on its own to brand me a villain, didn't it? I only killed the ones who needed killing. So I have no regrets."
"I see."
Ludian chewed on my words a moment, then spoke without order.
"I chased you all this time, but I could never catch you. You were stronger than anyone, and brilliant in every way that mattered."
"……."
"That's why it's such a shame. With those gifts, if you'd become a Holy Knight, we might have been unmatched friends."
Only those who received holy power from the Goddess could become Holy Knights. Still, for this last stretch, I simply listened.
"Sword Demon. I have a question."
"What."
"I heard your house were devout followers of Ella. Why did you take a different path?"
The one true god, Ella.
The deity worshipped by the state religion of the Holy Empire—called the mother of humankind.
"No great reason. The doctrine simply didn't fit me. I wanted to live freer than that."
"Freedom…."
"And even if I had been a follower of Ella, I doubt much would have changed. If the Goddess truly protected the good, my house would never have been wiped out."
I spoke as if swallowing flame.
"Or is it because I didn't believe in her? Then the Goddess is a narrow-minded creature indeed—abandoning the whole flock because one little lamb walked a different road."
"……."
"Look at that bastard."
I pointed the tip of my sword at the Demon God.
"The one they call the father of demons has descended to the surface himself to fight for his own. But our Goddess won't even lend her voice while the last Holy Knight is dying."
I looked at Ludian.
"Ludian. Was your faith rewarded?"
"……."
"Go on, pray. Ask her to restore my ruined house. Ask her for the power to bring that Demon God down."
Rage I had held for so long poured out at once, and my teeth locked hard.
Ludian met that fury in silence.
"Sword Demon."
"Speak."
"The Goddess does not solve the problem itself. She only grants the strength to endure the trial—just as she granted me holy power."
"……."
"Harvesting the fruit at the end is ours alone."
His blue eyes did not waver.
"Then what about the Demon God? While you're lying there like that."
Ludian blinked, then answered.
"Didn't you say you could win?"
"What?"
"I bought you time. The rest is for you to handle somehow."
His earnest face drew a sigh out of me on its own.
This stubborn fool's faith was far too solid. Even my rage-wreathed blade looked unlikely to crack it.
"Cael Luminara."
For the first time, Ludian spoke my name.
"You are neither Sword Demon nor villain. You are simply…."
His voice trailed quietly away. As if in prayer, a perfect silence settled around us.
The light that had always lived in those blue eyes was gone.
Tch. Unsettling.
I reached to close his eyes.
Or rather—I meant to.
"……."
Blood ran from the stump of my left shoulder. I had no arm left with which to shade this man's sky.
I'll take your revenge, at least.
I gripped the sword in my right hand and turned toward the Demon God. With every step, blood water sprayed up from the ground.
Then I caught on someone's arm and pitched forward. Red blood burst up in a spray.
I had already been at my limit. Hands seemed to reach up from the blood and drag me down.
"……."
A man's face lay before my eyes. He had died with them wide open.
I refused to lose, so I started a staring contest with a corpse.
"Impressive."
Through the dead man's eyes I saw the Demon God approaching, free at last of Ludian's binding.
"That vast rage toward Ella. And power that surpasses a human's."
The closer the Demon God came, the heavier his presence crushed the air.
"It would be a waste to kill you. If you wish it, I could make you a dem—"
The instant the Demon God drew near, I sprang up as if launched and swung my sword.
Slash!
Startled, the Demon God twisted away—but my blade carved deep into his chest.
He thrust out a razor fingertip; I leapt back like a fly.
"……."
The Demon God and I glared as if each meant to kill the other. Blood ran down his chest.
I hated Ella. I hated the Demon God who had made this continent hell even more.
The silence stretched awkward, so I opened my mouth.
"Fell for it, didn't you?"
"……."
The Demon God's brow twitched. Then his mouth moved, and he burst into laughter.
Caught off guard, I said,
"Why are you laughing. Did that ambush knock your wits clean out? Fine. From now on your name isn't Demon God—it's Mad God. No objections accepted."
At last the Mad God stopped laughing and fixed his gaze on me.
"That was nearly dangerous. If you'd wielded holy power instead of mana, the result might have been a little different."
His chest was slowly knitting shut.
It no longer even surprised me.
Most of Ludian's attacks had left scars. The marks my sword carved healed clean away.
"In any case, I've heard your answer."
The Demon God lowered his stance. Blade-sharp killing intent stabbed through my whole body.
He vanished from where he stood and reappeared before my eyes. I cut for his exposed throat.
Clang!
His fingertip caught the blow. With only one hand I could not put force behind the sword, and the blade shattered.
Severing!
At the same time a hot sensation brushed my neck.
When I came to myself, my vision was floating up into the sky.
Whoosh—
As a child I had envied the birds that flew free across the sky. Becoming one myself was not particularly beautiful.
While I took in the scenery of hell, I saw Ludian's corpse.
I could not bring myself to meet his eyes, so I closed mine.
Your faith was too much for me.
Truth be told, I never denied the Goddess's existence itself. Scripture and a Holy Knight's holy power proved that much.
But that was separate from worshipping her.
There were simply too many things I was told not to do. The only being fussier than my father was the Goddess.
Cael! You good-for-nothing brat! When will you ever grow up?
Better to listen to that kind of scolding from my father than to read scripture.
But I can't hear it anymore. If there truly is an afterlife, Father goes to heaven and I go to hell….
Thwack!
A dull impact slammed into the crown of my head, and my eyes flew open.
"This bastard falling asleep on me?"
Some half-baked thug was glaring daggers at me.
Did this guy just hit me in the head? The kind of face I could kill with a look alone?
I tilted my head, then checked my body first.
The neck that had gone flying was properly attached. The exhaustion that had been devouring me was gone completely.
Even stranger—an unfamiliar yet familiar energy was circulating inside me.
My strength, though, was nothing like usual, and both hands were bound behind my back as I sat in a chair.
Ah.
I finished reading the situation at once.
This was the afterlife. Here I would be judged for my sins.
I had thought heaven and hell were just human inventions spun from the Goddess's words—but they were real….
Then this ugly bastard is probably some kind of hell's judge.
I had always expected to end up in hell someday, but facing it in the flesh did not sit well.
"Bring the Goddess. I refuse to acknowledge that she has any right to judge my life."
"What?"
"Hurry up."
He stared blankly at me, then sneered.
"I heard you were a troublemaker, but you're just a full-on lunatic, huh?"
I narrowed my eyes.
"Did the Goddess say that?"
"Why do you keep going on about the Goddess? Because you're from an Ella-worshipping house? Save that for after you're dead and sit still."
"After I'm dead?"
"Aish, why can't this bastard understand plain talk. You got kidnapped, that's all—you're still alive, so shut your mouth."
He tapped my head as if to knock some sense into me.
Something rose in my gut, but a vast curiosity crushed it down.
Not dead? Kidnapped?
I had clearly been fighting the Demon God until moments ago, and my head had gone flying.
And yet I was fine?
Come to think of it, this ugly face looked somehow familiar….
"What? Why? Got a problem?"
There were things I forgot, but men who hit me, bad men, and ugly men—I always remembered those.
And remarkably, this one checked all three boxes.
When I was kidnapped on the way back to the house.
As a boy I had left home under the excuse of pilgrimage and wandered the Holy Empire.
On the way back to the family, unknown men had seized me.
And what do you know?
One of those two faces matched this man exactly.
Even the place of the kidnapping is the same.
A dark warehouse with moonlight leaking in.
It had happened just before my house was wiped out, so I remembered it clearly.
"Eyes down."
What I could not understand was why he and I were both still alive.
Have I returned to the past?
Why?
Had the Goddess who never once looked my way finally given me a chance? Or had someone I did not know sent me back?
Hm.
Plenty of questions, but one thing seemed certain: I had come back to the past.
Which meant every piece of that past could be rewritten by my own hand.
The house that had fallen. The family that had died. The hell that had been my past.
"Haha…."
A laugh slipped out. How long it had been since I last laughed, I could not say.
"This bastard's laughing?"
His face twisted into something ugly.
"Is my face that funny?"
That was when I kicked the chair back and stood up straight. Our eyes leveled in an instant, and he flinched.
I glared and stepped forward one pace at a time; he backed away on instinct to match.
When I stopped, so did he. The distance between us was close enough for our noses to nearly touch.
Still staring him down, I only opened my jaw and let out a low laugh.
"Hahahahahaha…."
When I laughed like a madman, he looked so dumbfounded he forced out a hollow chuckle of his own.
"Haha, this guy's actually lost it…."
I shut my mouth at once and hardened my face.
"Laughing?"
"You started—"
I tipped my head back, then drove my skull into his face with everything I had.
Crack!
He began to crumple backward.
The trail of his nosebleed. The stinging pain in my forehead. The scent of blood digging into my nostrils.
I savored the sensations waking every inch of my body and smiled bright and clear.
Ah….
I really came back.