Back to the Everyday
"Whoa."
Click-click.
"Eeeeeee!"
Click.
"...What are you doing?"
Taehyun, sitting in the passenger seat, turned around to look at me.
"Taking pictures."
"Yeah, I can see that, but what's got you so worked up?"
Instead of answering, I pressed my phone right up against the window—
Click.
The thing that had just gone by was a bus. A very big, very blue bus. The kind of perfectly ordinary city bus that every citizen of this country sees thousands of times between birth and death.
And it was because it was such an ordinary bus that I loved it!
One more photo added to the collection. While I was at it, I sent a shot to Convict Grandpa too, and then a little later I snapped a crosswalk, and then a crowd of people streaming across it so I took that too, and then a delivery scooter zipped past so I got one of that, and while we were stopped at a light the cars in the next lane lined up neatly one behind the other, so that went in the album as well.
"Hajin, sorting those photos is going to be a nightmare."
"Why would I sort them? Every single one is precious!"
Along the street there was a convenience store. Next to the convenience store was a café, and next to that a phone retailer, a real estate office, a pharmacy, and some nameless restaurant, all packed shoulder to shoulder—and even as we waited at yet another light, the smell of grilled chicken skewers drifted in from somewhere. A street vendor, maybe?
"Wow, chicken skewers. I can smell them."
"...Yeah."
You poor soul. You have no idea how precious the everyday is.
Just then, a cluster of kids in school uniforms hurried past. Backpacks on their shoulders, a convenience store bag in each of their hands, chattering about something—one smacked the other on the back, and the one who got hit retaliated instantly.
"Noona! Noona! Slow down!"
"I'm driving, so no."
"Just one photo!"
"The light changed."
"Aaahh!"
Taehyun turned around again.
"Hajin, is this your first time in Seoul? You were born in Seoul."
"Yep. Same neighborhood as you, weren't I?"
"You've lived in Seoul your whole life. What is wrong with you?"
"I like it."
When I saw Taehyun's mouth clamp shut, I beamed at him and turned my head back to the window.
I loved the traffic. I loved watching people wait for the light at the crosswalk. I loved the person handing out flyers on the corner, the students crouched in front of the convenience store slurping cup ramen, the delivery scooters weaving deftly between the cars.
At the hospital, the view outside the window barely changed no matter how many days went by.
But here, something new went past every ten seconds.
Click.
"Seoul-hick. A Seoul bumpkin. Excited to be sightseeing in the city he's lived in all his life."
"Does 'Seoul bumpkin' even make sense as a word?"
"It does now."
"Hey, Kang Taehyun!"
"What is it, Seoul bumpkin?"
Oh-kay, so that's how you want to play it? Then I've got a few thoughts of my own, my friend.
"Noona! Noona! It's a huge emergency! This is a disaster! He's making fun of me!"
"What?"
Taerin's voice dropped low.
"He made fun of our Hajin?"
"...Excuse me?"
"A kid who's been out of the hospital for less than an hour?"
"Noona, he's the one who—"
"Hajin, what did Taehyun say to you?"
"*Sob*, he called me a Seoul bumpkin."
"That's just a fact!"
"Kang Taehyun, quiet. I'm driving."
"..."
I flashed a victorious smile from the back seat.
You picked the wrong family, Kang Taehyun. Should've lived a more honest life. From now on, you will submit to the great Lee Hajin. Your entire family is already on my side, you see.
After pressing against the window for so long, one serious problem suddenly occurred to me.
"Noona."
"Yes?"
"Could we maybe walk a bi—"
"No."
Rejected in 0.3 seconds. Waah.
"I hadn't even finished asking."
"You were going to ask to walk."
"How did you know?"
"Had a feeling."
I have learned that what matters most is a heart that never bends.
"Just a little. Hm? Noona, really, just a little!"
"No."
"Ten minutes. That's me being incredibly generous, seriously."
"No."
"Five minutes. I can't come down any further than that!"
"No."
"Three minutes. That's basically just sniffing the outside world!"
"No."
"Is it acceptable in a democratic society to suppress a patient's right of movement like this?"
"Hajin, no."
Damn it, an impenetrable wall! Fine. Then I'm changing targets.
I leaned forward and poked my face out between the two front seats.
"Taehyun-ah."
"No."
"I hadn't even said anything yet!"
Are these two siblings connected by a radio or something? Usually, true to form, they don't get along at all—it's only times like this that they're in perfect sync.
"Just a short walk. A really short one."
"Says the person who collapsed walking down a hallway the moment she left her hospital room."
"That was a hospital hallway."
"And outside your stamina magically recharges?"
"Photosynthesis."
"You're not a plant."
"That hasn't been medically confirmed yet."
"It has."
"How can you be so quick to limit a person's potential?"
After my relentless whining, the compromise we finally negotiated was this: park the car somewhere suitable and take a quick look around the nearby shops, but the instant I get tired we go straight back, and if Taehyun says it's time to leave, I come without a word of complaint.
"Why is he the one who gets final say?"
"Because if it were up to you, we'd never go back."
I couldn't argue with that.
The moment the automatic doors slid open, a wave of air conditioning swept over me along with the scent of cosmetics, perfume, and a dozen other smells all at once.
"Wow."
I'd lost count of how many times I'd said it today. But a "wow" was still a "wow." Like ice cream, you know? Maybe I should have some. But if I eat it, will Dr. Choi get mad? Diets are so sad.
Walking through it all on my own two feet felt different from watching through a car window, and I loved it. People brushed past me, a child cried somewhere, a store clerk greeted a customer—and before I knew it I was gawking around like a tourist, and when my eyes met a woman walking by, she smiled at me, and I smiled back.
I couldn't tell you why I smiled. If you pressed me for a reason, I'd just say it felt nice?
"Hello."
"Oh my, hello there."
She even returned my greeting. Pure profit.
"Why are you greeting strangers?"
"We made eye contact."
"And that means you greet them?"
"That's what they call human connection, Taehyun-ah."
"She was a stranger thirty seconds ago."
"Connection formed thirty seconds ago."
Taehyun gave up on understanding. Shutting down systems. Beep-boop-beep.
The place we went into was a big shopping mall that sold everything from clothes to household goods. The original plan had been to grab a few necessities before heading home—the small wrinkle being that my closet at home was stocked entirely with relics from my boyhood days.
Granted, T-shirts and hoodies I could just wear as-is.
Pants too, whatever, fine. Except—
"What about underwear?"
Courtesy of: Taerin.
"..."
When I turned to Taehyun with my most natural expression, he took two steps back.
"Why are you looking at me? Are you insane?"
"So much for loving your childhood friend."
"Noona, I'm going to be over there."
"Sure. Take good care of our Hajin's friend, won't you."
"Hey! Traitor! Kang Taehyun! If you leave, am I supposed to just walk around with a bandage on?!"
"Noona, I'm leaving Hajin in your hands."
"I demand compensation in macarons!"
No loyalty whatsoever, that boy. I curse you, Kang Taehyun! I shall never forget this!
Taerin dragged me into the women's clothing section, and a clerk spotted us and came over.
"Welcome! Are you looking for—"
The clerk's words faltered for a moment, her eyes landing on me, then moving to Taerin, then coming back to me.
"We're here to look at clothes."
"Ah, of course! Clothes for your younger sister here?"
Younger sister. The moment those words left the clerk's mouth, Taerin very naturally wrapped an arm around my shoulder. Wheeeze.
"Yes. She needs a whole new wardrobe."
"Noona, you just called me your little sister."
"You are one, aren't you?"
"I mean, yes, but."
Something about it felt off. Was I imagining it? While I was busy wondering, the clerk was already pulling outfits off the racks. Sales work is a terrifying profession.
"You're a student, right? How about this one? With skin that fair, light colors will suit you beautifully."
A student. A little sister. Skin that fair.
At the hospital, I had always been a patient. Lee Hajin in a hospital gown. Lee Hajin in Room So-and-So. Lee Hajin whose blood pressure needed taking. Lee Hajin whose medication time had come.
But here, I was just—
"This would look so pretty on you."
"Really?"
"Really. Would you like to try it on?"
"I would!"
That was the extent of my thought process. She said pretty, so of course I'd try it on—but that's where the trouble began, because the moment I stepped into the fitting room, I hit my first wall.
Why is women's clothing engineered in so many different ways? Where is this strap supposed to go, why are the buttons in the back, and why is the zipper in a spot where no human can reach it alone?
"Noona."
"What?"
"I'm trapped."
Laughter drifted in from beyond the curtain.
"Trapped by what?"
"The clothes."
"...Give me a second."
Taerin came in and rescued me.
"Arm, here."
"Whoever designed this garment did it out of pure malice."
"Hold still."
"Why is the zipper in the back? Human arms bend forward."
"But it's pretty."
"This is aesthetics built on the graves of practicality. You women actually live like this?"
"Isn't that obvious? Just wait, someday I'll dress you in even more impractical, even prettier clothes."
Somehow, some way, I got the outfit on and pushed the curtain open, and the waiting clerk took one look at me and her eyes went wide.
"Oh my."
I looked straight at Taerin.
"Noona, you heard that, right?"
"Mm-hm."
"She said 'oh my.'"
"I heard her."
The clerk burst out laughing.
"It really suits you. Just a moment—this would be even prettier with this."
And then, suddenly fired up, she came back with one top. One skirt. One cardigan. Eventually she was bringing hair clips too, and hey, I was getting fired up myself, thank you very much.
"What about this one?"
"Pretty!"
"And this?"
"Also pretty!"
"You'd really carry off this style, miss."
"I'll take it."
"Hajin."
Taerin grabbed my arm, smiling.
"Your noona has plenty of money, but how about we try them on first and *then* buy?"
"Oh."
I nearly forgot the first rule of capitalism. Phew. In the course of trying on outfit after outfit, I even learned the clerk's name. Learned she was twenty-six, too. Even gathered the valuable intel that the tteokbokki place nearby was delicious.
Heh heh heh. That's me for you.
"I'll definitely check it out sometime."
"It's genuinely good. Get the fried stuff too."
"Noted and memorized."
"You know, you're such a friendly, easygoing kid."
"I happen to like people."
"I can tell."
Trying to hold back a smile that kept bubbling up over absolutely nothing, I eventually walked out of the store with an armful of shopping bags.
Technically, Taerin was carrying them, and the only thing on me was the brand-new cardigan I'd thrown on, but still!
Taehyun, sitting on a bench in the distance scrolling through his phone, looked up—and froze.
Puhuhu. What a dummy.
"What."
"...Nothing."
"Am I pretty?"
"No."
"You hesitated."
"I didn't."
"You were 0.7 seconds late."
"Get lost."
"Men who can't be honest don't get any girls, Taehyun-ah."
Taehyun stood up.
"Let's go, Lee Hajin. We're going to be late."
"Already? I still have to shop for household stuff."
"Noona. Look at her face."
The smile faded a little from Taerin's face.
"Hajin. Are you tired?"
"Nope?"
I really wasn't. There was still more to see. I had tteokbokki to eat, that stationery store we passed earlier that I wanted to visit. There was a photo booth across the street, and the convenience store had a new ice cream flavor I'd never tried.
So.
"I'm perfectly fine."
One step, and my knee buckled. Taehyun caught me.
Again.
Hey. Legs. Buddy. Read the room, will you? I got discharged today. When your master says she wants to play a little longer, you haul her around. That's the deal.
"Let's sit for ten minutes and then go."
"We need to get home now."
"Five minutes."
"Home. Lee Hajin. Are you listening to me."
While Taerin ran to grab some water for the road, Taehyun crouched down in front of me.
"Piggyback."
"No."
"Then a wheelchair."
"Even worse. Is there a third option?"
"Nope."
I looked around. Crowds everywhere. Well, of course—I was the one who insisted on going somewhere packed with people. And I was supposed to ride through them on Taehyun's back? My social dignity would never surv—
"...Fine. Take the empty side streets."
"Nope."
"Hey."
He turned his back on me. I held out for a few seconds, but eventually my arms found their way around his neck—that feeling was familiar. Annoyingly enough, even as a boy my body had never been heavy, and after turning into a girl and spending a year wasting away in a hospital, I was basically a featherweight now. Infuriating.
"Am I not heavy?"
"You are."
"That stings my pride in its own way."
"Quiet."
When I settled my chin onto Taehyun's shoulder, my view rose higher.
Oh. Being tall is something else. I pulled out my phone and browsed around, then picked out one of the pictures I'd taken earlier.
A crosswalk packed with people.
What is with this bone-dry response.
It's September right now, though? The September sun is blazing?
I was snickering to myself when a shadow fell across my phone. Taehyun had turned his head slightly.
"Who is it?"
I covered the screen.
"Grandpa."
"What grandfather?"
"A friend I made at the hospital."
"...How old."
How old was he again?
"Under eighty, I'd say?"
Taehyun stopped walking.
"Don't contact him."
"Why not?"
"Just don't."
"Out of nowhere? At least give me a reason!"
"Don't."
Excuse me?
"Do you have some kind of grudge against the elderly? Old people are not legitimate targets. The great Lee Hajin will have to start your ethics education from scratch, I see."
"I don't have one."
"You do. You totally do. This is a crisis, a genuine crisis. My own childhood friend doesn't even know to respect his elders."
"I said I don't."
"I'm reporting you to the National Senior Citizens Association."
"Do whatever you want."
Weirdo.
By the time we pulled up to Taehyun's house, the sun was beginning its slow descent. For the record, I'd wondered why we were going to his place instead of mine—and the moment the front door swung open, I got my answer.
"Hajin!"
My mom.
"Our daughter's here?"
And Dad was there too.
And from behind them, two more familiar faces burst forth: Mr. Kang Jinwoo and Mrs. Han Seoyoung, the proud manufacturers of Taehyun and Taerin themselves.
Our two families had known each other for ages, and we'd lived close by, so we were friends who knew each other down to the number of spoons in the kitchen drawer since we were kids.
Mrs. Seoyoung in particular had spent my entire hospital stay showing up with armloads of food, only to have every single one confiscated by Dr. Choi Eungyeong every time.
And now.
"Oh, Hajin, sweetie!"
Mrs. Seoyoung came barreling over and squeezed me tight. How many hugs is that today alone?
"Wait, wait! My structural integrity is—"
"Let me look at your face. Goodness, how did you get this thin?"
"Ma'am, this is the natural build of a beautiful girl—"
"Honey, Hajin's here!"
"I see her."
"Somebody bring out the cake!"
"She hasn't even taken her shoes off yet."
A full spread of food covered the living room table, and hung along the wall were balloons somebody had put up.
...It's a real party.
"Wow."
I wobbled for a second while kicking off my shoes, but Taehyun steadied my arm from behind, so the great catastrophe of face-planting was avoided!
"Is there meat?"
"Obviously."
"Cake?"
"Yes."
"Chicken?"
"Ordered."
"I love you all ♡"
One step. Two steps. Three steps. The road to the living room. What a long, long journey it had been. Enough time had passed for France to surrender about ten times!
All hail the plush, inviting sofa. Surely a teensy sit-down wouldn't hurt?
"Hajin, what do you want to eat first?"
"I'll go fo—"
I sat down on the sofa.
No. I tried to sit down, and at some point I was lying sideways instead.
"..."
Huh. There's not a single gram of strength left in my body.
"Hajin?"
Taerin's voice reached me from somewhere.
"Hajin?!"
Let's review the day, shall we? I'm a person with excellent self-awareness.
Hmm... discharge from hospital. Tour of the hospital. Shopping. A walk. Piggyback. And then a party. Aha! Battery fully drained!
"Just... thirty minutes of charging..."
As my eyes slid shut, I vaguely registered someone pulling off my slippers, and someone else saying to go grab a blanket.
"See? This is why I said we should go straight home."
With my eyes closed, I raised my middle finger. Probably. I couldn't actually feel my hand, so I'm not sure it was a success.
Event) Collapsed before the party even started (Congrats
Ugh, dang it, we're supposed to be having a party...