Choi Iseul
Choi Iseul. The girl I had known since I was very young—since she was a baby—was my maternal cousin, three years younger than me. She was the daughter of my mother’s younger brother. Iseul’s father didn’t have what you could call a stable job, so their life was far from comfortable. It was actually quite difficult, but since her family lived close to ours, we had been close ever since we were little. That’s why I knew almost everything about the big and small events in her life as she grew up: her parents’ divorce, her father’s death in an accident, the things with her ex-boyfriend. It couldn’t have been any other way. We spent so much time together and talked about everything.
My first kiss was with Iseul. My first time having sex was with Iseul. And the same was true for her, so we couldn’t help but be special to each other. There were times we were apart, but we had been sharing our love for a very long time. We couldn’t get married because of society’s rules, but like any other couple we went on sweet dates, traveled together, and made love. We shared sad moments and happy ones, and now we were living together like a married couple without anyone knowing.
Of course, no one knew about our relationship. People just thought we were filling in each other’s shortcomings by living together. The idea that we were pumping her pussy full of cum every night and talking about having a baby was something people with old-fashioned prejudices could never imagine. If our parents found out I had fucked Iseul so much that her pussy had been molded perfectly to my cock, they would never stay quiet. And if they knew I had awakened new tastes in her and given her experiences they could never even dream of… Anyway, we were living happily every day like a married couple.
I went to work and handled my coin investments in parallel, while Iseul took charge of studying, exercising, housework, and childcare. After I got off work, the three of us would sit together, watch TV, and play with Byeol. And when night came, sometimes we slept with Byeol, but after putting her to bed Iseul would come to my room and we would spend the night together. Sometimes we had sex, sometimes we just slept, but we always made time to kiss and whisper our love, enjoying the small happiness of warming each other’s hearts. We were that kind of ordinary couple.
But sometimes, lying in bed, we would think about it. How did we end up like this? We didn’t think it was unfortunate, but there were moments when pure curiosity would strike. My mother’s younger brother—my uncle—wasn’t particularly smart. From what I remember, he only graduated middle school and didn’t have a steady job, so he drove a twelve-seater van shuttling students to academies and schools, barely making ends meet. They lived in a shabby villa, just barely paying the monthly rent, the two of them.
Iseul’s mother hated that kind of uncle. She divorced him early and left to start a new life. So my uncle had to raise Iseul alone while driving the commuter van. When Iseul talked about those days, she would recall her memories with her father with a wistful expression, saying that even then it wasn’t so bad. Still, it wasn’t easy for a man to raise a daughter by himself. The issue of different genders created more problems than expected, so my uncle relied heavily on my mother. As part of that, ever since Iseul started kindergarten she was often left at our house, and that became the reason we grew up like real siblings.
Fortunately, the distance between my uncle’s house and ours was manageable by bus, and our house had enough rooms for Iseul to stay comfortably. At the time our house was about fifty pyeong. My parents had the master bedroom, I shared the other large room with my grandmother, there was a small room used for clothes and other items, and my older sister’s room. So Iseul shared a room with my sister and grew up like sisters. Whenever she came to stay for a month or two during vacations, she always used the same room as my sister.
My sister and Iseul grew up like real sisters, but she didn’t love Iseul as much as I did, so it was more like close relatives. Since I had carried Iseul around in my arms from when we were little, to anyone looking at us we seemed like real siblings. Sometimes Iseul would even join me and my grandmother in the bed we slept in. As we gradually grew up, Iseul and I were naturally drawn to each other by instinct and went through the process of learning about men and women.
Meaningless touches, accidentally brushing against sensitive places, thoughtless hugs. All of it changed our relationship until we became closer than normal relatives—closer than lovers. Then came the season when you could feel winter approaching. It was when winter break was almost over. Iseul’s only parent, my uncle, died in a fire accident.
Iseul became an orphan overnight. She kept vigil alone in the hospital’s smallest funeral chamber, sobbing uncontrollably. I rushed to the funeral home as soon as I heard the news, but I couldn’t learn the exact circumstances. All I knew was that Iseul had been outside the house and so escaped the fire. My uncle’s funeral chamber was quiet with no visitors. Only Iseul’s scream-like cries could be heard whenever she came to her senses. Even after her voice grew hoarse, she kept crying.
My uncle’s body was cremated and his ashes scattered on some mountain. After that, Iseul went to live with her divorced mother. Her mother, who had somehow been contacted, had already started a new family. After some deliberation, Iseul was taken in through a form of adoption. The place was very far from where we currently lived, so I couldn’t see Iseul anymore.
Later, when I heard about the life she lived there, always watching her step, I thought that no matter how much of a tantrum I threw, I should have adopted her into our family. She said the time she spent in that house was mentally too difficult. During that period, I was the one who sometimes came to see her, and she said I became a great source of strength. From then on, she couldn’t stop the feelings growing inside her toward me.
I was the only place where she could share the stories she couldn’t tell other family members, the emotional wounds she had received. I was the only person she could open up to about how she had been living, where she was staying now, whether it was bearable—the basic daily things—as well as the discrimination she faced within the family, how people treated her, and the unconsciously hurtful actions of those around her. All the stories she had hidden deep in her heart.
In the process of listening to her worries, comforting her, we naturally grew closer and nurtured our love for each other. After I became a college student and started working part-time, gaining some spending money, we could meet more often. I remember struggling to keep Iseul, who was then in her stormy adolescence, from going astray, but every time we met we could part with happy memories.
That’s why I couldn’t leave her when she was struggling. I delayed my military enlistment until she could become independent, until she became an adult. On January 1st, the day she became an adult, our love bore fruit. We had truly loved each other for a very long time. Looking back now, it seems so foolish, but because of our conservative family background we had never gone beyond kissing, and that was something I deeply regretted.
That’s why we had planned our date for the day Iseul became an adult. We went to a motel together for the first time and became each other’s first. It was a bitterly cold winter. December 31st. The long-awaited day had come. We met at lunchtime, followed the course we had planned, ate lunch, and dated all afternoon. We linked arms like lovers, sometimes laughing, sometimes getting shy, wandering around the city in a sweet atmosphere.
When it started to get dark, we headed out to the outskirts and settled on a bench in a park we had scouted beforehand. We bought beer and soju from a nearby convenience store and started our first drink. I held Iseul, who was complaining that the alcohol tasted strange, and we listened to the New Year’s bell through my phone.
“Three!”
“Two!”
“One!”
“Waaaaaaaah~!!”
Deng~ Deng~ Deng~
The cheers bursting from the phone. The bell I usually didn’t care about sounded especially solemn today. Without realizing it, my arm around Iseul tightened. The emotion swelling up for no reason wasn’t something I felt alone. Iseul’s arm around me also gained strength. Sitting side by side at the table, looking at my phone together, we listened to the bell and simultaneously sought each other’s lips, starting a kiss.
We had done it countless times before—exploring each other’s mouths, tangling our tongues. With perfect rhythm, we enjoyed it without noticing time passing. We parted, breathing out the breath we had been holding, and raised our glasses in celebration.
“Cheers~!”
“Cheers! Congratulations on becoming an adult, Iseul!”
“Thank you, Oppa~ *glug* *glug* *glug*!”
“Kyahaha. *Chuu.* *Chu.* Slurp! *Chuu.*”
After sharing the long-awaited toast celebrating Iseul becoming an adult, we kissed again, exploring each other. After confirming our love through kisses for a long while, we packed the empty snack wrappers and alcohol into a bag, cleaned up, and stood up. We threw the bag in the park trash can. Iseul linked her arm with mine as we left the park and walked down the street.
This neighborhood was somewhat far from where Iseul lived. It wasn’t a busy area, so there weren’t many people on the street, but just in case someone who knew her was around, we walked carefully toward our final destination of the day. Following the increasingly deserted alleys, we arrived at a cluster of motels on the outskirts. We entered a building that looked reasonably clean. The woman who seemed to be the owner asked if we were minors.
“One night. Here’s my ID. She’s an adult now. Want to see hers?”
“Ha. The world really is ending. You two came straight here to do it, huh?”
“So, are you going to let us in or not?”
“… Room 304. A word of advice—make sure you use contraception.”
“I’ll take care of it. Let’s go.”
“U-um. O-Oppa.”
Muttering that she was being nosy when we were in a hurry, I grabbed Iseul’s hand and got on the motel elevator. As soon as the elevator doors closed, Iseul gripped my hand tightly, as if nervous. Before I could even comfort her, we arrived on the third floor and walked straight down the hallway looking for room 304.
“Hngh! Ahh! Ahn! Ahn! Ahn!”
“Heut! There! Right there, it feels so good! Hngh!”
As expected, other couples had already gotten rooms and were enjoying the first day of the new year. Was the soundproofing not very good? The moans echoing quietly in the hallway made Iseul’s grip on my hand even tighter. But just as she was nervous, I was also tense in this first-time situation, so unlike my pretense of being fine, I had no composure to comfort her. We hurriedly found room 304, opened the door, and went inside with the nervous Iseul in my arms.
Click!
The room we entered was nothing special—just a bed and a bathroom, a typical motel room—but for some reason it felt like it had an incredibly good atmosphere. But that feeling lasted only a moment. Now was the time to release everything we had been holding back, so I forgot even those brief thoughts and looked at Iseul.
I slowly turned her body and hugged the extremely tense girl, lifting her stiff face to start kissing her. The awkwardness and freshness of a first kiss came from our mutual nervousness. Iseul, who had been standing stiff as a log, must have felt the same because she couldn’t move her tongue properly, and our long-awaited moment began with a messy kiss.
But after a little time passed, our relaxed tongues began to entwine pleasantly, and Iseul hugged me back as she gradually loosened up. We held each other, kissing as we moved toward the bed. Along the way we took off our outer layers one by one—my coat, Iseul’s padded jacket, her knit sweater and jeans, my hoodie and wool skirt, her pantyhose—dropping them to the floor.
By the time I laid Iseul on the bed, we were already down to just our underwear. As I laid her down and pulled back for a moment, I looked down at her in her white underwear with heated eyes.
“Chuu! Slurp! Paha! Haa! Haa! Oppa. Oppa…! Heut!”
“Iseul. You’re really beautiful.”
“Haa. Oppa. Oppa. Hurry…!”
“I love you, Iseul. Chuu! Slurp! Chu! Chu!”
It seemed I wasn’t the only one starving for love. Iseul urged me on impatiently. I smiled at her eagerness and told her I loved her, then removed her underwear and mine as well. I lifted her into my arms and moved to the center of the bed. After laying her down, I got on top of her and kissed her again. I carefully ran my hands over her body, stroking and kneading, beginning our first caresses.
I massaged her soft skin, her plump breasts and elastic buttocks, then slowly spread her legs and positioned myself. I had prepared a lot for today. I had researched on the internet, watched porn, gathered information from friends—I had memorized exactly what to do with a woman’s body during her first time. But study and practice were different. With the beautiful Iseul baring that gorgeous body right in front of me, as a virgin I couldn’t make any rational decisions.
And Iseul was no different, so there was no one to correct our mistakes. Without even showering, without any mood or atmosphere, we went straight from kissing to caressing. I explored her body while she touched, stroked, and kneaded mine. Drunk on overflowing sexual desire, we licked and bit each other’s bodies before kissing again. With clumsy hands we caressed each other’s genitals, sometimes failing to control our strength and drawing pained moans.
As we continued our clumsy caresses for a long time, I panted, holding back an ejaculation that felt like it could explode any second from the excitement of exploring a woman’s body for the first time—the fact that the woman was Iseul. Iseul, for her part, was dripping clear fluid from between her spread legs, showing she couldn’t hold back her excitement either.
When should we start? I couldn’t even catch the timing, and neither could Iseul. Then at some point our eyes met, and without deciding who would speak first, we both said it.
“Iseul. It should be okay now, right?”
“Oppa. Come now. Please…!”
“……”
“……”
“Pfft!”
“Ahahaha. What was that, Oppa!”
We had spoken the same words at the same time. Maybe because we confirmed we felt the same way, we burst into laughter that didn’t match the atmosphere. Thanks to that, we could shake off some of the tension and hurried feeling about our first experience. What had been so urgent? Neither Iseul nor I were going anywhere.
After shaking off that inexplicable pressure, we were able to prepare for our first time a little more calmly.