[The Saintess for You - 09]
[The Saintess for You - 09]
"The Saintess-nim herself?"
"She is a stubborn person. If it were before she heard the story, maybe, but once she's heard it, I can't stop her. To begin with, I am the Saintess-nim's education supervisor, but it's only 'education' after all; I don't have a higher rank than the Saintess-nim."
Grandmother-nim drank her coffee, glanced at the documents on the desk for a moment, and then fiddled with her hair.
Her haggard appearance seemed to show just how much she had suffered until now.
At least until the time I went off to war, her dark circles weren't this deep.
The haggard look caused by fatigue was, if anything, quite impressive.
"Fine, do as you please."
"Are you sure? If a problem arises for the Saintess-nim, this matter might hold the Valtus Family responsible. Even if the Saintess-nim wanted it, it was this side that granted permission."
"If you had wanted me to refuse, you would have asked me to 'refuse' more actively. The fact that you didn't means that, even by your standards, the Saintess-nim is capable enough to fight, right?"
"Yes."
"Hah, stronger than you, who was called the genius produced by our Valtus Family?"
"If we compare at the same age, yes. 15-year-old me wouldn't be able to beat the Saintess-nim no matter what I did."
It was no joke.
15-year-old me was a Holy Knight with 5 years of experience who never slacked on training.
But since 15-year-old me either lacked experience with the Demon war or was just about to be dragged to the front lines because of it, I didn't think I could have handled the Saintess-nim's insane firepower back then.
No, honestly speaking, I wasn't even sure I could do it now.
Because she had grown surprisingly in the last few years, even though her skills were somewhat messy, her ability to handle light magic had become absurdly strong.
Since she was growing at the speed of light, I felt that at this point, it would be difficult for anyone to beat the Saintess-nim unless they were someone who had made a name for themselves on a national level.
Of course, there is no such thing as absolute in a fight, and it's common for weak people to take down strong people through various means.
Numbers, strategy, tactics, condition, situation.
Due to various problems and options, an overwhelmingly strong person could be defeated by someone weaker than themselves, and that wasn't such a strange thing in this world.
In other words, the Saintess-nim was like a raid boss that you had to run a raid for, so I felt it would be difficult to fight her alone without a really good strategy.
"......Right."
Grandmother-nim, who seemed lost in thought for a moment, fiddled with her hair and then nodded.
"It means that depending on how you look at it, it could be a blessing, or it could be a disaster."
"......."
Intuition.
I met Grandmother-nim's eyes, realized that she had noticed something, and could also realize that she had realized that I had realized it.
The scent of intuition that faintly seeped in never lied, and Grandmother-nim reflected in my eyes seemed to know that the Saintess-nim wasn't just a kind, perfect girl with a head full of flowers.
When I carefully kept silent, Grandmother-nim pondered for a moment and then said.
"Are you okay?"
"She will not become a disaster, never."
I came this far to make sure she wouldn't.
She is not evil.
She is just not good, either.
If that is the case, choosing which way to go was the Saintess-nim's choice, and the role of those around her is significant in leading the Saintess-nim's choice toward the good.
At this point, my role was significant, and I would do my best to ensure the Saintess-nim could grow up to be good.
At least so she could wear a mask of living virtuously and act.
I was working hard every day so that she could perceive that as being advantageous to her.
I thought I had done quite well, and at this point, one could say there was almost no one who doubted the Saintess-nim's goodness.
Even if they noticed the fact that her head wasn't full of flowers, her actions didn't really have any malice, and she just wanted to save people.
Even if she didn't genuinely worry about people, felt no emotion at the moment of saving them, and felt no sense of reward from their gratitude.
That doesn't erase the fact that she saved people.
"Yes, I saw it too. Even though she's still young, she hides it truly well. If I had met her when I was younger, I might not have been able to see through it. The fact that she is still young means, in other words, that the act will become even more solid."
"......."
"If I had met her when she was an adult, I wouldn't have doubted her. Because she is still young, I was able to doubt, and I was convinced by your reaction just now."
"Is that so?"
"What, don't look at this old woman with those eyes. How cheeky of a little grandson."
"I apologize."
"Being born good versus being born evil but trying to be good, the question of which is nobler has started from philosophers in the distant past and continues."
The Saintess-nim isn't particularly evil.
She just feels nothing for evil.
The same goes for good.
The greatest luck for the world is that the Saintess-nim just feels nothing about goodness.
If she possessed that talent and felt pleasure or freedom regarding evil, it would have been game over at that point, and a few years later, we would have seen everything torn apart in a living hell.
A being blessed by the Goddess who grows stronger just by existing, even if she does nothing.
That was the Saintess-nim.
"Right, then I'll have to make preparations on my end."
"Preparations? What kind of preparations?"
"What else, wedding preparations. No, wait, is an engagement first? There's a bit of an age gap, but that's not a big problem, is it? Once you become an adult, that is."
"......."
"Why are you making that face? I can tell just by seeing the Saintess-nim by your side."
"When did you see that?"
"Didn't you know? This mansion is my eyes. I can know what happens in the mansion. You know that the smile the Saintess-nim sometimes shows you isn't a fake smile, right? Try telling me you don't know, you dull little grandson."
"......."
"Or do you really not know why the Saintess-nim is acting like that?"
I know.
I knew that the smile the Saintess-nim sometimes showed me wasn't a smile as the Saintess, but a smile as Anastasia.
I could answer the question of why the Saintess-nim was trying so hard, and I could be sure that it was the correct answer.
Because I want her to.
There was no other answer, and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that the Saintess-nim was moving solely for that reason.
"Right, so you have a worry? Tell this old woman. More than that, speak. It's an order."
"You're being coercive."
"Can't I even vent my anger at my little grandson who ignored his grandmother's words and went off to the battlefield as a Holy Knight on his own?"
"It was something that needed to be done."
"It was something you didn't necessarily have to do."
Other people opposed it too, of course, but Grandmother-nim especially strongly opposed me going to the battlefield.
But since the supplies and money needed at that time could be filled if I just performed well on the battlefield, I eventually left for the battlefield.
I was able to perform well on the battlefield, and the Valtus Family was able to be maintained by sending most of the supplies and money I received during that war back home.
But apart from that, there wouldn't be anyone who likes sending their grandson to the battlefield.
My father, who judged that he couldn't stop me, just apologized to me, and my mother cried halfway and then fainted.
Only my older brother said something trivial like, 'Don't make a lover on the battlefield, there are many novels where you die if you do that.'
"So, what are you worried about? The age gap? Or is it status?"
"The Saintess-nim's whim."
"Whim?"
"Let's say she gets her hands on me. With all her passion, using everything, she gains my heart, gains my body, and we become connected like that."
"Right, isn't that a happy ending?"
"After that, will the Saintess-nim be able to maintain that emotion, that enthusiasm?"
"......."
I'm worried.
Right now, she was moving based on the motive of getting her hands on me.
Receiving education.
Working as a Saintess.
Being kind to people.
Doing good deeds.
All of those things were for me, not for any other reason.
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say it was a girl's heart wanting to win my favor and be evaluated well by me, even just a little.
But if she were to get her hands on me, would that enthusiasm be maintained?
Things that you really grit your teeth to get before you have them often suddenly lose their value once you actually get them.
It's like important items that people don't manage properly once they get their hands on them.
The enthusiasm that comes from the process of getting them.
There was no guarantee that it would be maintained after she definitely got her hands on me.
Even if I asked the Saintess-nim directly, she had no such experience, and would the Saintess-nim, who is dull to emotions in the first place, even know the answer to that?
"I see."
"Do you understand?"
"There's no point in worrying about a problem with no answer, little grandson."
"......."
"What you need to do is not really about what will happen to the Saintess-nim."
"Then what is it?"
Grandmother-nim drank her coffee and looked at me as she said.
"It's whether to trust the Saintess-nim or not. ......Do you believe she will be able to pretend to be such a good person with you for the rest of your life, or do you think her interest in you will drop the moment she gets her hands on you....... There are only two choices."
"That's troublesome."
"Life is a series of difficulties. It's not about what the Saintess-nim does, but what you do that is important. Because what's important in life is my choice. You pay too much attention to others."
"I lived a life where it was troublesome if I didn't."
"My, you really won't let a single word slide."
Grandmother-nim turned her chair and said.
"Sleep today, you should also seriously think about the Saintess-nim. And, little grandson."
"Yes."
"Do you even have the right to refuse in the first place?"
"......."
It was a strangely hard statement to deny.
Even if the Saintess-nim, who becomes an adult later, approaches me saying 'the strong make the choices,' there was nothing I could do.