[The Saintess, Anastasia Lacroix - 07]
[The Saintess, Anastasia Lacroix - 07]
"Adrian."
"Yes, Pope-nim."
The night was deep, and it was free time after dinner.
Pope-nim had called me to her room, so I followed her, and for some reason, we were playing chess.
I didn't know if Pope-nim was just bored, or if she had other business and just wanted to break the ice first, but playing chess together felt strange.
I almost forgot the fact that the person right in front of me was Pope-nim Serapion Lumentio, the highest-ranking person in the Goddess Church, the only religion in this world.
It felt even more so because her original personality was quite easygoing and kind, like a "gentle grandmother."
If someone who didn't know about power structures or things like that saw Pope-nim, they would feel she was so merciful and far removed from authority that no one would ever think she was a high-ranking person.
To put it more bluntly, one couldn't even rule out the possibility that, depending on the situation, people might just consider her the grandmother next door.
"The Saintess seems to be doing well."
"Yes."
"It's already been about 8 months since you became the Saintess's instructor. At first, I half-assigned her to you because there was nowhere else to put her. It's true that I saw potential in you, but I can't deny that there was also a sense of desperation within me."
"I understand."
"You understand everything. You have the kind of personality that old people love."
"......."
"Yes, regardless of what you might be thinking inside, saying that you understand most tendencies and philosophies is the best way to deal with old folks. Their heads are often too rigid, and you can't find any flexibility in them."
"Not at all, I truly understand."
"I see, fufu."
Well, even though she said that, I agreed.
There are differences from person to person, but many older people find being pointed out by a young person unpleasant, and they feel their pride, honor, or self-esteem has been wounded.
So, unless it was an absolutely necessary moment, I didn't bother pointing things out.
Yes, I understand.
With just that one phrase, you could get through most situations.
In the past, one of my comrades once asked me, "You're so strong, why do you walk on eggshells around people so much?"
I thought I was just doing the social life that was naturally expected of me, but to that comrade who thought highly of my strength, it must have looked like I was bowing my head servilely.
Courtesy.
Social life.
All of that was, at the end of the day, just a means to not make a big deal out of things depending on the situation and to avoid making enemies.
If it were a truly serious moment where making an enemy was necessary, that would be different, but there was no need to make enemies and get my feelings hurt over trivial things in everyday life.
Therefore, if I had to put it a certain way, it was for my own sake.
Using force to shut people up wasn't that difficult for me, and it wasn't hard to do it to most elders.
But I didn't think that was right.
Every time I commit an act that goes against morality like that, my reputation worsens, and my enemies increase.
People say that not everyone is moral, but when people actually evaluate others, there are truly many cases where they look at morality.
If I were in that situation, there might be almost no one who wouldn't commit a wrong, but as a third party, people are the type to evaluate those committed wrongs as if they possess objectivity.
It's common to have moral superiority, after all.
It's best not to do things that give people ammunition against you.
Of course, there are moments when you have to do it, accepting the consequences.
Surprisingly, reputation can become a magic that creates allies or neutrals in those moments when you have to act.
"Anyway, the Saintess is following your lead well."
"Yes, she has changed surprisingly. To think she would thank me, it's surprising."
It seemed she really recognized her as a daughter or granddaughter.
So, she seemed touched that the Saintess was treating her well.
Moreover, because the Saintess knew that Pope-nim viewed her like a daughter or granddaughter, she had a side where she acted out a "character" that fit that expectation to some extent.
'If I were a daughter, I'd say this, right? If I were a granddaughter, it would be good to do it this way, right?' With that feeling, she would often do things that a grandmother would like.
To be honest, that was nothing more than acting without sincerity, but the Saintess wanted to maintain a good relationship with Pope-nim, and in the point that it was acting filled with that desire, it didn't change.
If you can't be sincere no matter what you do, and if you're empty no matter what you do, you can just decorate the surface.
It would be nice if that one day achieved the miracle of filling the inside, but that wouldn't be easy.
"Come to think of it, does she still have no thoughts about an engagement?"
"Yes, I don't think she has any thoughts on it yet. Some past Saintesses lived as singles, so marriage isn't mandatory, is it?"
"True, as a Saintess, no one will say anything if she doesn't marry. But, well......."
Pope-nim moved a chess piece and said.
"I hide it so it's not obvious, but I half-consider the Saintess my granddaughter."
"......I see."
Did she think I didn't know?
Even the Saintess, who was no different from having no such intuition, knew.
From what I could see, there was almost no one in this Cathedral who didn't know.
There must be quite a lot of people who could see them together and read the emotions in the eyes looking at the Saintess.
I couldn't know why those benevolent and affectionate eyes chose the Saintess as a granddaughter, but she must have felt something, and there were plenty of cases where intuition or instinct suggested an answer or path in a flash, rather than logic.
"So I have a desire for the Saintess to marry and have a family, since I couldn't."
In the Goddess Church, 'marriage' wasn't exactly forbidden.
In other words, there was no problem if clergy, priests, Saintesses, or nuns wanted to get married.
Sometimes there were people who wanted to maintain their chastity on their own as a way of dedicating everything to the Goddess, but it wasn't forced, and rather, if it were forced, they would receive bad evaluations from those around them, asking what kind of people they were.
Even if it is a religion, image is important, so even if it was like that in the past, these days, chastity is not forced.
Even in the old days, it wasn't forced by the rules, it was just forced by implicit rules.
'Even so, the reason Pope-nim didn't marry was because she was too busy.'
It's peaceful now, but until just a few decades ago, the war with monsters had gone to a truly serious situation, so there were too many wounded, and most of the clergy had to go to the front lines.
Pope-nim, who looked like a kind grandmother in front of me right now, was a hero of the battlefield who saved countless people when she was young.
It wasn't for nothing that she had been sitting in the position of Pope until now, despite having that kindness and somewhat indecisive personality.
Pope-nim definitely possessed the track record and honor to deserve it.
"I was too busy. I had no choice but to prioritize the people dying right in front of me over a husband or family, and it was obvious that if I did that, I would neglect my family."
"......."
"It wasn't necessarily a job only I could do, but it was a job I could do. So I don't regret the days I spent saving people on the battlefield and in the rear without having a lover or getting married."
Pope-nim smiled.
"But sometimes, looking back, I think it would have been fine if I had married and lived a little more for myself. Fufu, they say it's typical bad parenting to project your dreams onto your children... I think I understand that feeling just a little bit."
"That's understandable. But the Saintess is still young, so I don't think she understands those feelings."
"What about you?"
As I was drinking water, I almost spat it out at Pope-nim's words.
"J-joke, right? There's an age gap between me and the Saintess."
The Saintess is thirteen years old now.
I am twenty-five.
In my past life, it was an age gap called a twelve-year difference.
"It doesn't mean much in the face of love. Besides, aren't there plenty of cases where people marry despite an age gap?"
"That may be so, but."
"Well, let's talk about that later."
Are we talking about it again later?
"Is there anything you wish for? Honestly, in 8 months, that child has changed like a different person. Many things have been satisfied, and she has started to show a Saintess-like appearance. Some people complain, saying 'only now?', but there are also people who are happy that she is finding her place."
"That's a relief."
Among them, there must be people who know the Saintess's true nature, frown, and think that it is definitely a mask and acting.
If she had been acting since long ago, I wouldn't know, but the people in the Cathedral would have just seen the Saintess, and there must be people who understood her true nature and judged that her instinct would never change.
Because Pope-nim is a person who holds the belief that people can change, she probably doesn't think deeply about that part.
The day the Pope, who is no different from the head of this Goddess Church, says "people can't be fixed," she would be dragged down from the Pope's seat immediately.
Because the weight of a statement made by an individual and a statement made by the head of the Goddess Church is different.
"Hmm, that's right. A wish, huh......."
I thought for a moment and then said.
"The Saintess wants to walk around the capital. Since it wouldn't be a big problem to be seen outside now, I was wondering if we could get permission to go out."
"......I was asking for your wish."
Pope-nim stared at me blankly for a moment, then smiled and asked.
"Will you go with her?"
"That is the plan for now."
"Then it's fine. If anyone says anything, tell them to use my name."
"Understood."
It seemed like it was my first time walking around crowded places together.
I had a bad feeling that I might get caught up in something weird for some reason, but I decided to ignore it.
Since there was nothing I could do even if I worried about it, let's not get a headache and not worry about it.