Chapter 10
Translator: True Detective
[The Saintess's Point of View - 03]
Ed is strange.
He really was conducting repetitive education, bringing books with different morals and ethics every time to teach me.
If that education lasted a day or two, it would be incredibly boring, but when it continues for two months, you gradually begin to feel a sense of wonder. Even though there were days when I purposefully pretended not to focus, or listened while half-dozing, the sight of him educating me without a single sign of exhaustion was surprising.
Listening to it every single day like that, I ended up taking the lessons whether I liked it or not.
Above all, about once a month, we would take a test as if reviewing what we had studied so far.
—Oh my? Do you not remember? I heard from the Pope that you were smart, but it seems I had too high expectations. I apologize.
This bastard?
That tone of voice, which somehow seemed to contain a hint of laughter, was honestly the first 'mockery' I had experienced in my entire life. This bastard, he was mocking me while pretending not to.
Gripping my pencil tightly enough to snap it.
'Alright, I'll show you,' with that mindset, I was easily able to get a perfect score on this test.
I had intended to at least see a flustered face, but instead, Ed was actually leisurely.
Still wearing that affable smile, he spoke.
"Good work. As expected of you, Saintess. A perfect score. You are amazing. I would like to buy you something, but the things I can buy for you are only things you can get just by asking, so it's difficult."
"……."
"What is the matter?"
Could it be that I am being made fun of right now?
Am I being toyed with?
The suspicion that the teasing, mocking tone from a month ago was just said on purpose to make me act this way started to rise within me like smoke.
"No, it's nothing."
Even so, to pick a fight over it, there wasn't exactly any evidence or anything, so I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut.
"So, how do you find studying? We've been studying for about two months now."
"It's trivial. I understood that it's more complex and philosophical than I thought, but my impression is 'So what?'"
"Do you think you can mimic it?"
"……."
He asks every time.
Can I mimic it?
Can I follow along well? That statement meant he knew I wasn't someone who could become that kind of person, and at the same time, it carried the meaning that I could become normal just by mimicking them. Honestly speaking, I didn't care either way. But the educators I had met so far.
No, out of anyone, he was the first person to treat me as if it didn't matter if I just stayed as myself. Because even the Pope only pitied my situation and sympathized with me, and she had eyes that seemed to view my state itself as something wrong.
Yet Ed keeps asking if I can mimic it.
He says we should make an effort so that I can pretend to do so.
In moral or ethics books, or novels containing such stories, there was always a question that appeared.
Between a truly good person and an evil person who spends their entire life pretending to be good, which one is more noble?
'It's on purpose.'
There was no doubt he was purposefully bringing only books that would raise such questions. That meant Ed had already read all those books before giving them to me. No, maybe they were books he had read before, but he was working quite hard at it.
This guy.
Ed wanted me to pretend to be a good person, even if it was just acting.
In the sense that he understood my fundamental nature, he was a person I had never met before, but because of that, there was a part I couldn't understand.
"Why are you helping me?"
"Pardon?"
"For someone doing this because the Pope ordered you to educate me, you seem to be working quite hard."
"……." "There have been many educators before, and it's not like there wasn't anyone who seriously wanted to educate me. But doing it to this extent is a first. Even if you just stay around moderately, no one will say anything. Look, if you say you were attacked by me once, won't everyone sympathize with you?"
It would have been enough to just appropriately pretend to educate me while receiving money.
Yet, I couldn't understand the reason why he went out of his way to find books, went out of his way to educate me, and poured his passion into educating me while even engaging in a dangerous sparring match. No, is it passion? Personality-wise, he seemed a bit far from the word 'passion', but considering the devotion he showed, no other word came to mind besides passion.
"Do you want something from me?"
"When anyone sees a young child fall into a river and struggle, they feel surprised and pity for them."
"……." "It's not for profit, it's not for honor, and it's not to avoid criticism; it's just human nature that naturally reveals itself."
That is definitely something I don't have.
"They say humans have four sprouts of a good heart. Commiseration, which is a feeling of pity and the beginning of benevolence."
It was something I had read in a book.
"Shame and dislike, a feeling of shame."
It was a word that meant a heart that is ashamed of one's own mistakes and hates unrighteous actions, and at the same time, it could be seen as the beginning of righteousness. They say it is an attitude of following what is right and rejecting what is wrong, but to me, I lacked the eyes and brain to distinguish what was right and what was wrong.
Even if I cheat on a test, I have no discomfort in my heart, and if I get caught, I just consider it 'bad luck'.
Even if I betray a friend, there would probably be no ripples in my heart. Like a lake on any given day, my heart would be calm.
Even if I saw someone bullying the weak, I would probably have no other impression besides 'They are bullying the weak'.
"It is a moral nature innate to anyone who is human. I would like you to focus on this as much as possible, Saintess."
Does he genuinely believe that I have a heart that feels ashamed because I myself feel it is wrong, not out of fear of other people's gazes?
"The third is deference and compliance, easily put, a yielding heart."
"Hmm."
A heart that knows how to step back in consideration of others rather than putting one's own interests first.
When food is scarce, rather than offering it to others first, I wanted to eat it first to fill my stomach.
"Because if people only try to take things for themselves first, and competition and conflict become too severe, the social order will collapse in an instant. You could even call it the moral foundation for maintaining a community. It can be called the beginning of propriety."
"……" "If this community collapses and the social system breaks down, the food you naturally enjoyed, Saintess, might no longer be supplied."
I see. Having confirmed earlier that the method of simply appealing to the heart doesn't work, is he now trying to draw out my agreement by directly talking about things that would be bad for me? It felt as if Ed understood my nature, but was always leaving the possibility open that it might change even a little.
The changed me and the unchanged me.
So that he could respond to either one.
It was such an annoyingly correct choice that I had nothing to say.
"The last is right and wrong, a heart that knows how to distinguish between right and wrong."
"That's the one I understand the least. That kind of thing changes all the time, doesn't it? It changes depending on the era or the situation."
"That is a correct statement. There are things we currently call barbaric that were not considered so in the past."
Ed smiled.
"For example, slavery; in the past, it was legal and considered a system that maintained the economy and social order, but currently, it is treated as a grave human rights crime that infringes upon a person's basic rights."
"Yet it's still important?"
"Because if you cannot judge what is right, you become easily swept up by the opinions or emotions of the majority, and the moral standard must not collapse."
I don't really know about that 'must not'.
Honestly speaking, I didn't know if I could follow along well. I had a guess that these were probably emotions I would never be able to understand for the rest of my life. Nevertheless, seeing him not giving up and continuing to try and teach me made me feel strange.
For these two months, I had studied, but I never showed an attitude of empathizing with anything. It definitely must have been boring, yet Ed didn't show any emotion and was instead accommodating me while educating me.
Right and wrong, huh.
Seeing a friend lie and feeling that it is 'not right'.
An attitude of rejecting wrong behavior even if everyone else is doing it.
Agonizing over right and wrong regarding social issues.
I might at least be able to do the second one, but it would be no exaggeration to say that my behavior wouldn't be because it's wrong, but definitely because I dislike doing it. Conversely, even if it were the right behavior, if it was annoying, I would curse inwardly and let out a sigh saying it's annoying.
I fiddled with my hair and looked at Ed.
"It's annoying."
"Yes, it is annoying. ……Honestly speaking, you don't have to worry about it too much, Saintess. As I told you before, it's because you are strong. Not vaguely strong, but just strong." "……." "Even now, you could easily beat most adults, and as you continue to grow, your mana capacity will increase absurdly, and your technical capabilities will gradually increase, too. Then you will become amazing. Honestly, there might come a time when no one can beat you in a head-on fight."
"Then aren't I learning something I don't need to learn even more?"
"Yes, that might be so."
Shouldn't he be trying to persuade me more actively or something?
Shouldn't he act a bit more desperate to make me want to pretend to be a good person?
Why is he so leisurely?
It's annoying.
"But you still lost, didn't you? You have to keep learning until you come of age. You don't have a choice, right?"
"……." Ah.
Seriously, this bastard?