Dohesi (2)
"This seems pretty serious... It doesn't look like an ordinary cold."
Cough, cough—.
"See? That's why Mom told you to stay inside."
"I'm sorry, Mom..."
A few days after meeting that boy, I suddenly came down with a severe illness. The village doctor rushed over for a house call, but his expression was far from reassuring.
"The fact that I can't even identify the disease is troubling enough, but... the real problem is that this blizzard makes it impossible to bring the priest here."
"Will it be difficult to recover without healing magic...?"
"Unfortunately, yes. For now, the best we can do is brew medicinal herbs and try to endure it."
The doctor left behind a warning that any further delay would only make things more dangerous. That night felt cruelly long. A cold compress rose and fell across my burning forehead until dawn. Through my half-lidded eyes, I caught glimpses of Mother's face—her expression so full of heartache it hurt to see. The shop alone was already too much for her, yet here I was, forcing her to spend another sleepless night because of me. I felt so guilty and sad I could hardly bear it.
But to Mother, that didn't seem to be the issue at all.
I'm so sorry I couldn't stay by your side. I love you, Dohesi.
— Mother
Her trembling prayer lingered in my ears. Hearing that voice was almost unbearable. After losing Father, her shoulders had to be heavy enough already. If I became nothing but another burden on top of that...
Please.
The cold, merciless reality cut deeper into my chest than the pain of the illness itself. By tomorrow—maybe by tomorrow morning—the sickness would be completely gone, wouldn't it? I repeated that desperate prayer dozens of times in my heart until sleep finally claimed me.
The next morning, the house was silent when I opened my eyes. Forcing my fever-heated body upright, I made my way down to the living room. On the table sat a bowl of warm soup beside a note from Mother.
I forced down the cooling soup and the bitter herbal brew. Even after taking the medicine, I felt no improvement at all. With a weary heart, I sank into the chair by the window and stared silently out at the world beyond. Just as I expected. The same white-drenched landscape filled my vision.
I'm... alone again.
The air inside the empty house felt chilled. Or maybe that was just the loneliness. The feelings I'd tried so hard to forget while wandering the village came rushing back, stabbing into my bones alongside the pain. Once again, I'd returned to this hollow routine. Today, the empty space Father had left behind ached even more sharply.
When had the cold winter wind begun to reach all the way into my heart? My eyes grew hot. It must have been because my body was so wretchedly sick that tears threatened to spill.
"...Huh?"
That was when I saw it—beyond the window, a small shadow moving between the snow-covered hills. It was the boy I'd seen a few days ago. He was walking alone across the white expanse.
"Ah...!"
Before I knew it, I'd bolted up from the chair. Just moments earlier I'd barely been able to lift a finger, yet my body moved on its own. I struggled with the doorknob and stumbled outside.
—Whoooosh!
The freezing blizzard lashed mercilessly at my fevered skin. It hurt, but for some reason I couldn't bear to let him disappear.
"Hey...! Cough, cough— Ah...!!"
Only a ragged, metallic sound escaped my throat. The moment I opened my mouth, the cold air rushed into my lungs and triggered another fit of coughing.
He didn't seem to hear me. He simply continued walking away, indifferent.
"No—riel...! Cough— Hey, ah...! Cough, cough!!"
I staggered forward, forcing my way through the snow. If my voice could reach him, maybe he'd stop. Please. Just turn around once.
"Ah—?!"
—Thud.
My legs, pushed beyond their limit, caught in a deep drift. A short cry tore from me as I crumpled into the snow like a discarded straw doll.
"Cough, cough!! Aah..."
I had no strength left to stand. The cold snow pierced my skin like shards of glass.
Again. Once again, something precious was vanishing right before my eyes. The pure white snow, the freezing winter—it had only ever taken from me. It took Father. It stole Mother's presence. Even so, I'd refused to cry. I'd simply shoved my emotions into that empty daily life and forced myself to endure.
Then that boy had suddenly pushed his way into my frozen world. He wasn't particularly endearing, yet while I'd lain sick, his face refused to leave my mind. And now, in the end, I'd let him slip through my fingers again. Why wouldn't this wretched snow leave me with even one single thing—
"—Hey, are you okay?!"
"Uh, ah...?"
Suddenly I heard someone calling me. When I lifted my heavy eyelids, there he was—already right in front of me. Breathing hard as if he might collapse at any moment, Noriel looked down at me buried in the snow with genuine worry etched across his face.
"Th-thank you. Cough."
"No need for that."
I was back in the soft chair thanks to Noriel carrying me on his back all the way from the snowfield to the house. His back had looked so small, yet it felt strangely steady and warm.
Noriel slowly scanned the interior of the house before speaking.
"So why were you collapsed out there?"
"...I saw you through the window..."
"You could barely walk. What were you planning to do if I hadn't spotted you?"
"..."
I wanted to say something back, but all that came out was another coughing fit.
"Cough, cough cough...! Ugh..."
"Hmm... You really are in bad shape."
"...Yeah."
He glanced around and quickly found a blanket. Then he approached me where I sat in a daze and draped it over my shoulders.
"...?"
"What are you staring at? You looked cold."
He avoided my gaze and moved toward the kettle resting on the mantel. I heard water pouring, and soon a warm cup was placed between my hands.
"Thank you..."
"Where are your parents?"
"...It's just Mom. She's busy at the shop right now... cough!"
"......I see. That explains it."
Noriel walked slowly to the fireplace and picked up some of the stacked firewood. With surprisingly practiced movements, he arranged the kindling and began adding logs one by one.
Crackle.
The dying flames rose in bright orange, filling the empty house with gentle warmth.
"You're... pretty good at that."
"Hm? Oh, I've been wandering by myself for a long time."
"...So you really don't have a home to go back to..."
"Well, something like that."
Noriel answered indifferently, his eyes fixed on the burning fire. His words echoed in my ears. Maybe it was because I'd lost my own father that his past didn't feel like a stranger's story. He spoke in such a flat tone, pretending to be strong, but perhaps he'd endured the same pain I had.
No. It was different. At least I still had a kind mother. I had a warm house waiting to thaw my frozen body when I returned. But that boy was truly alone. Had he been wandering this cold world all by himself?
Even when I trembled with sadness because I couldn't endure a single moment of loneliness, he must have been silently carving his way through the world like this. How heavy must the weight on those small shoulders have been? The reason he'd looked as if he'd given up on everything a few days ago was—
"..."
Suddenly a corner of my chest throbbed as though it would tear apart. The emotions I'd been pressing down so hard finally broke through, spilling from my eyes.
"Hic... Sob, ugh! Sob...!"
"Wh-what is it? Why are you crying all of a sudden?"
"It's not— Huuuh...!"
"...Don't tell me you're crying because of what I said?"
Sniffle.
"Man, you've got a weird personality too."
He turned his head in embarrassment and scratched his cheek.
"...Still, it doesn't feel bad. Having someone like you around."
"Huh...?"
"Never mind. It's nothing."
Noriel seemed to consider something for a moment, then strode right up and pushed his face close to mine.
"...!? E-eh, why—?!"
"Hold still."
He placed his hand on my forehead and closed his eyes. The cool touch against my burning skin felt indescribably good.
"Are you really dizzy right now?"
"Eh? Yeah..."
"Do your joints feel heavy? Or like your movements are sluggish?"
"...The wording's a little strange, but... yeah, something like that."
"And your vision's blurry too, right? Like everything's covered in fog."
"Cough—were you a doctor or something?"
"Hardly."
Noriel stepped back and nodded as if he'd figured something out.
"I think I know the cause. Not sure why you'd catch something like this, though."
"...?"
After that cryptic remark, Noriel headed straight for the front door. He took down Father's old coat from the hook.
"I'll borrow this for a bit. It's cold out there for me too. Don't worry—I'll bring it back in one piece."
"...?? Wait—where are you going?!"
The door creaked open. An icy gust swept into the living room.
"Stay put and don't move. If my memory's right, I should be able to find the ingredients in the forest up ahead."
"What—?! How do you even know that—cough!"
Thud—.
Noriel vanished into the blizzard without waiting for me to finish. I dragged my heavy body to the window and watched his fading silhouette. Beyond the glass, his small back grew smaller as he headed toward the woods.
To me, that retreating figure overlapped terrifyingly with the last glimpse I'd ever had of Father.
"Ah, aah...!!"
I stumbled desperately toward the door. My body, heavy as lead, offered no help at all.
—Crash!
The world spun violently. Before I could even reach the doorknob, I collapsed to the floor.
"Ugh, haa, haa...!"
I couldn't breathe properly. My legs convulsed and refused to obey.
I had to stop him. I had to hold him back from going.
My body won't move.
I couldn't lose anyone else. Not when someone was about to disappear in front of me again.
My head feels like it's going to split open.
My consciousness blurred. The only thing I could hear was my own ragged, desperate panting. And then, everything went dark.