Poison Master (2)
Poison Master (2)
"First, you must begin by sensing the scattered qi around you. Keep this in mind. You are to feel the qi, not the poison."
Feeling poison was not difficult. Having been steeped in poison for most of her life since birth, she could now read the flow of poison drifting outside; even with her eyes closed, the shapes of people moving within the poison naturally surfaced in her mind.
In fact, this very familiarity made sensing the flow of qi difficult. Whenever she closed her eyes, the scattered poison around her immediately became apparent. For her, poison was qi. Poison Human opened her eyes again. Each time she closed her eyes, only the flow of poison stood out in the pitch-black night. Amid the chaotic currents, 'qi' remained invisible.
"I don't feel anything."
"You must not be impatient. In martial arts training, impatience and haste are fierce poison. Empty your mind, and try to feel the qi."
"...I don't really know what this 'qi' is. All I can feel right now is poison."
The greatest reason Poison Human could not feel qi was that she could not concretely imagine this thing called 'qi' flowing through nature. Except for her earliest childhood, she had lived confined in a space where poison flowed, so whenever she thought of something flowing, only the drifting currents of poison aura came to mind.
Qi ultimately revealed its flow only to those who could give it clear form. To Poison Human, qi was nothing but a fictional tale, so it was not something she could simply call to mind by closing her eyes and meditating.
"I don't know."
After repeated failures at meditating and trying to feel qi this way, the man changed his approach. Instead of blindly trying to feel qi through meditation, he would begin by making her concretely perceive its existence.
"...In Sichuan, there is a massive mountain called Mount Hua. It is so high that its rocky peak rises majestically as if to touch the sky, and it is always shrouded in mist so that from afar the ridgeline resembles the shape of a dragon."
He wanted to plant a concrete image of the flow of qi within Poison Human's vague imagination, so that she would seek out and yearn for that flow on her own. Each time the man told her stories of the outside world, Poison Human's eyes sparkled, and she concentrated on his words so intently that her body leaned forward.
"To reach the summit, you must climb narrow stairs so steep, flanked on both sides by sharply jutting trees, that some people jokingly call it Sword Mountain Hell—as though you are climbing a blade."
Whenever the man shared stories of the outside scenery, Poison Human tried hard to imagine herself within it. One day she was before a mountain path. The sun was shining, and young people full of dreams of learning martial arts were walking the path in pairs and small groups.
The towering mountain was ringed with mist like a coiled dragon, and the trees stood so sharp that a biting wind blew.
"I have been to a lake called Dongga Lake. It is in Hebei Province. The lake is mirror-clear, perfectly reflecting the mountain shadows; when you look down, you can see people's forms reflected just as they are. The place is filled with people strolling hand in hand and enjoying the sights, and there are also those who float boats on the water. When night falls, insects from beyond the mountain fly in, struggling to cross the river, and the sight of a swarm of green lights pouring down over the water's surface is truly a spectacle."
One day Poison Human was before a lake. The clear, mirror-like water reflected her face just as it was. She smiled with a neat, cute childhood face. When she lifted her head, her father Tang Ui-gyeong was waving at her. Poison Human's mother was there too. The three of them had reunited as a family after a long time, and they were spending time even more joyfully than usual.
They lit a campfire, roasted and ate snake and tree fruit, and she performed songs and dances before her father, acting cute. Then, as she nodded off with her head on his thigh, Tang Ui-gyeong poked her cheek.
Then she hazily gazed upon the rising green light. It was the sight of a swarm of insects swirling, scattering beautiful light far and wide. Because she had never seen the real thing, the insect swarm blazed and faded in even more intense and splendid forms.
And from somewhere, a biting wind blew.
"The rice paddies spread out near the Kunlun Mountains are also truly a fine sight. Sitting on a mountain slope and gazing at the broad fields, you lose track of time. An ox pulling a plow, a farmer humming a song as he tills the field, and on one side the women are gathered preparing refreshments. People who finish work early sit on the paddy banks and shout to the others, and those who have gotten hungry throw down their farming tools and come running breathlessly."
This was a landscape Poison Human remembered. When she was very young, stepping just outside her house had brought the rice paddies into view. The farmers, even when hard at work, would laugh widely and greet her when they saw her, and the women preparing refreshments would sometimes toss her a sweet potato or a potato. While she sat on the paddy banks chatting with children her own age, a rough-looking farmer would come to chase them off, shouting like this:
"Go play somewhere else, you're in the way."
Understanding that this wasn't a scolding but a way of telling them to stop helping with the farm work and go play, the children cheered and ran off. Poison Human had joined in and run, shouting as well. And at that time, too, there was a biting wind pressing against her back.
"Ah...."
Poison Human opened her eyes. A single gust of wind seemed to blow from somewhere. It was not a real wind, but she could feel that faint current. It was a wind that had always been there, everywhere. As she blinked and tried to look in the direction it was blowing, she lost the flow again.
"...I lost it."
"No, do not forget that feeling. Seize that flow, and try to make it move."
Poison Human felt her heart pound for some reason. It was the first time. Even though she had learned many things as a Poison Human, she had never been this happy.
She bit her lip tightly and closed her eyes again.
From somewhere, a biting wind blew.
******
Several days passed like that.
"I did it."
Poison Human smiled as she said it. She believed the man beyond the wall was smiling, too. From then on, the man began asking her how she was doing.
"How was it today? Is it going well?"
Then Poison Human would chatter away to him as if she had been waiting. There was never a time she failed to notice the Tang clan members arriving, for they always came with a commotion.
"Today I was able to feel the flow of qi more concretely. It feels like it's accumulating little by little inside my body. And when I breathe according to the breathing technique you taught me, my head clears and my mood improves."
"For now, you must concentrate on that flow of qi. The practice of controlling poison comes after that."
"I understand, mister."
Poison Human called the man beyond the wall mister. She didn't know who he was, but he knew so many things and spoke with the ideal adult tone she had always imagined. She kept speaking to the presence that still lingered near her.
"Mister."
"What is it?"
"What do you look like, mister?"
These days, as she felt qi, a new imagination was joining the others in Poison Human's mind. Not just the imagination of playing with her family, but the imagination of going somewhere together with mister. Mister had strong hands and would guide her with a warm smile; he was someone who would always stroke her back, stay close, and share his warmth.
Sometimes the two of them headed to Dongga Lake, and sometimes they headed to Mount Hua. And they would go to mister's house, sit in the yard, and chat. Laughter could be heard from across the way. It was a voice that sounded truly joyful.
"Are you that curious?"
"Yes."
"I am very handsome. Everyone who knows me calls me a handsome man."
"Heheheh..."
Poison Human's laughter spread. As much as she laughed, the man beyond the wall laughed merrily too. Poison Human suddenly stopped laughing and pulled herself forward a little more. The chains pulled tight and clanked loudly.
"Mister."
"What is it?"
"When we get outside, let's travel together. I want to go to Dongga Lake, and I want to visit your house, too."
"Alright. Let's definitely do that. Until the day we can go out together like that, let's both do our best."
Poison Human nodded and smiled. Thanks to the sound of the chains moving, the man knew how eagerly she was responding.
"Well, it's late again today, so I'll be on my way."
"Yes. See you again, mister."
Even after he disappeared, Poison Human did not lose her smile for a long while. It was because she knew he would come back the next day. Even if the Tang clan came down, even if they fed her strange medicine, she was no longer afraid. Because there was someone who believed in her and wanted to protect her.