How to Spend a Holiday (5)
In the end, I spent the entire day wandering around with Ailen, right up through dinner.
We had climbed a nearby hill and were watching the sun sink toward the horizon.
Ailen gazed at the sunset for a while, then turned her head toward me.
"Well? A light hike isn't so bad, is it?"
"I still think it's inefficient. But the view is nice, I'll give you that."
"This is what real rest looks like—the kind that heals both body and mind."
"Whatever we did earlier today definitely doesn't count. Still, I've more or less picked out what I want to show the Young Lady."
"Hmm. Like what?"
"Why would I tell you?"
"Because I'm curious?"
"That is not a reason."
"Cold."
"Still warmer than your mana, at least."
Ailen let out a soft chuckle, clearly amused.
"Frey really is fun."
"I am not fun. May I speak honestly for a moment?"
"What is it?"
"Ailen, you will never get the reward you're hoping for."
"Hmm. Go on."
I knew full well that Ailen had dragged me around all day out of pure self-interest. Even so, I had experienced so many new things because of her. Truth be told, the only time I had ever gone out to play with a friend was with Ailen. Without the slightest exaggeration, I felt I was seeing a wider world by her side than I ever did attending the Academy.
Outwardly I kept pushing her away and calling her a nuisance, yet I knew perfectly well how much she was giving me.
"For some reason, you like me."
"That's right."
"And so you keep giving me things. That's also true, isn't it?"
"I won't deny it."
"But I have nothing I can give you in return."
The gulf between our stations was despairingly vast.
"An imperial princess like you never has to worry about wealth."
I, on the other hand, was merely a butler.
"You already understand every lecture at the Academy perfectly."
I was at the same level. There was nothing I could teach her.
"Even your skill at handling people far outstrips mine."
I knew how to deal with superiors. But the art of navigating relationships between friends? I barely understood it at all.
"I have nothing I can offer you, Ailen. In everything except magical ability, I fall short of you."
"Leaving magic out as the one thing you're better at is so very Frey of you. But no—there is one thing."
"I know what you're about to say."
I placed a hand over my own chest.
"But even this heart already belongs to someone else. You know that, Ailen. As someone who can only ever be your friend, let me say this: if you keep going like this, you will regret it."
Yes.
Looking at Ailen's face sometimes made my heart race. Her beauty was so overwhelming that I occasionally found myself staring without realizing it. Yet the feelings I held for the Young Lady ran deeper still. She was the one who had saved my entire life.
She must know. There's no way she doesn't.
I had always poured my whole heart into serving her. Both the Young Lady and the Duke surely understood that I loved her. Because of the difference in our stations, however, she had never answered those feelings in kind. That was only natural. How could the daughter of a ducal house ever harbor romantic love for a commoner? Ailen, an imperial princess doing exactly that, was the strange one.
In the Young Lady's eyes, Frey was simply a capable butler and a comfortable friend—nothing more, nothing less. And so I had to live by that truth. Like a sunflower forever gazing at a distant sun, that would be the endpoint of my life.
Even so, I could not divide the heart I had dedicated to her. My insides were not spacious enough to share that feeling with anyone else. Therefore, what Ailen desired could never come to pass.
I would remain the Young Lady's butler forever; I could never become Ailen's retainer. My heart already belonged entirely to the Young Lady, so I could never whisper love to Ailen. That was all there was to it.
"Couldn't you simply think of me as a friend? We get along rather well as friends, don't we? Spending time with you really is enjoyable—that's the truth."
"Just friends, is it."
A soft crackling sound rose as the grass beneath Ailen's hand froze solid and crumbled. So she was angry after all, hearing it put so bluntly.
But this was who I was—a timid commoner who had no desire to toy with anyone's heart.
"Frey."
Ailen stretched her hand straight toward my face. Ah. So I was going to get hit.
I had said something harsh; a slap was only fair. I just hoped she would release her mana first.
A light tap. Her fingers brushed my cheek.
Not a slap. Warmth spread across my skin. I opened my eyes.
Ailen was gently stroking my cheek, wearing a tender, almost maternal smile.
"You really are an idiot."
The words that came out were the complete opposite of her expression.
"Pardon?"
"That's exactly why I always call you an idiot. I give you things because I want to. Why are you fretting over it?"
"B-but you're only doing it to seduce me."
"I won't deny that either. Still, I gave them simply because I wanted to give them to you. I'm not expecting any special repayment."
"…You truly want nothing in return?"
"That's right. Forcing something into someone's mouth and then demanding payment would be far too shameless, wouldn't it? And there's something else you're mistaken about."
She took the hand that had been caressing my cheek and pressed it firmly against her own chest, looking utterly confident.
"No matter what you say, you will fall for me eventually. So stop making such a fuss all by yourself about whether you can give me your heart or not."
"I consider myself rather firm of will."
"I'll melt that will of yours until it's soft and pliable. All you need to do is prepare yourself to be conquered."
The last light of the setting sun caught in Ailen's eyes. Her blue irises sparkled like stars scattered across the night sky.
"I swear on the name of Valencia—I will make you fall in love with me."
"Pfft! What is that? You're staking the imperial name on something like this?"
"Because I mean every word. You'd better brace yourself."
Honestly.
I almost nodded without thinking. Only now did I feel I was seeing her true nature.
Ailen was vast, radiant, and brilliant.
"As I said earlier, don't get your hopes up."
"I'm not hoping. I'm simply going to claim you."
"Some people would call that kind of confidence a form of expectation."
"Stop playing word games!"
The sun had fully set. Ailen shrugged her shoulders.
"I should be going now. You're heading back to the ducal estate, right?"
"I am. How will you return to the palace?"
"My escort will arrive soon. You should leave before then."
"Understood. See you next week, then."
"Yeah. Come prepared to fall for me, okay?"
"I will not."
And so I parted ways with Ailen.
My feelings had grown thoroughly complicated. Why did someone so dazzling desire me this much? Even after I had told her so plainly that I could not accept her feelings, she continued to pursue me. That could only mean she truly loved me.
Yet the reason remained unclear. It was hardly a case of love at first sight.
"If I asked her why, would she answer?"
Curiosity stirred. I wanted to know what lay inside Ailen's heart. Without thinking, my fingers brushed the vial of Truth Elixir I always carried in my coat.
"Haa… I really shouldn't be thinking about getting myself executed."
I shuddered and pulled my hand away. Contemplating using a Truth Elixir on someone who liked me this much—how was that any different from an ungrateful beast?
Lost in thought, I reached the estate in no time. One of the gate guards spotted me and called out in recognition.
"If it isn't the young butler himself! What brings you back at this hour?"
"Good evening, Walton. I had a few things to take care of."
"So even the butler gets weekends off now?"
"Not exactly. His Grace granted me leave."
"Ahaha! In all my years I've never seen a butler take a day off! Something strange must be in the air today."
Something in the air? The way he phrased it suggested I wasn't the only one acting out of character.
"Did something happen today?"
"The Young Lady went out."
"The Young Lady?!"
"That's right. She came back about ten minutes before you did."
Could it be—when she hadn't been in her room earlier, she hadn't been somewhere else inside the estate at all? She had gone outside and stayed out until this late hour?
"Excuse me!"
"Whoa! Watch yourself!"
I shoved past Walton and sprinted into the mansion, heading straight for the Young Lady's chambers. The moment I arrived I knocked urgently.
"Young Lady, it's Frey. May I come in?"
"Ah, Frey? It's fine. Come in. Cough!"
A metallic rasp undercut that final cough. I threw the door open at once.
"Ah…"
The Young Lady stared at me with startled eyes. Her hand, held a short distance from her mouth, was stained with a thick smear of blood.
Hemoptysis. A chill swept through my entire body.
"F-Frey, this is—"
"Young Lady."
I clenched my teeth and approached her. First, the blood on her hand.
Clean
A sharp whoosh filled the air as the blood she had coughed up vanished. I immediately eased her onto the bed.
"Eek?! Frey?!"
"Please lie still. Your complexion is deathly pale."
Displeasure flickered across her face, yet thankfully she obeyed.
"All right. I'll stay lying down."
"Forgive me, but I need to examine you as well. May I borrow your wrist for a moment?"
"Here."
I sent a faint thread of mana into the wrist she offered.
A butler of the Katram Ducal House had to be versatile. I had thoroughly mastered the medical knowledge required to care for her.
Checking her condition made my heart ache.
"Your heart and lungs are far weaker than usual. I heard you went out. Why would you do such a thing?"
"There was something I absolutely had to do."
"Please, think of your body. At the very least, take me with you next time."
"But today I really had to go. I had to."
"Haaa…"
Our Young Lady was stubborn to a fault.
"You must not do anything like this for at least several months. Do you understand?"
"I understand. I'll be careful."
"Honestly. I feel like you're shaving years off my life."
"Don't say things like that. Bad."
"I'm not a child."
"Ahh, little Frey used to be so cute."
"We're the same age. What are you talking about?"
"Hehe."
She giggled as though something delighted her. Troublesome. When she laughed alone like that, it was a sure sign she had no intention of telling me what she had done outside.
"I thought of nothing but you the entire time I was out, you know."
"What? Are you sulking, Frey?"
"I'm not sulking. I'm simply angry."
"That's even worse!"
"Please don't raise your voice. It makes treatment more difficult."
In truth I was already channeling mana through her body, restoring vitality to her weakened frame. That she could still laugh in this condition only reaffirmed why I respected and loved her so deeply.
"I learned a great many things for you today. I'll let you experience them next time."
"Ooh. I'm looking forward to it."
"You will be thoroughly satisfied. For now, eat this."
After finishing her treatment, I slipped an illusion-magic cookie into her mouth. She beamed.
"It's delicious no matter when I eat it."
"Because it always becomes whatever flavor you love most. Dinner should arrive soon. Even though I'm on leave, I'll still attend you."
"You got leave? Then you should go rest!"
"I can't rest easy knowing you're alone, so this is better."
"You're such a workaholic, Frey."
"I wonder whose fault that is."
A maid soon brought the meal, and I fed it to her myself. Watching her nibble at the soft porridge was almost unbearably endearing.
Once she finished eating, I read to her. Lately she had been devouring romance novels.
"…And so the noble young lady deliberately trapped herself with the wandering knight. She thought, Here is where I make this knight mine!"
"Ohhh."
"Trapped together, the young lady began to undress while gazing at the knight with tearful eyes…"
"Ohhhh!"
"…Hmm."
"Frey? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just a strange sense of déjà vu."
Why did this wandering knight's story feel so familiar? While I was still pondering, the Young Lady snatched the book from my hands.
"Read something else! I'm tired of this!"
"O-oh? Then how about this?"
"What is it?"
"One Hundred Mysterious Tales of the Archmage Klifford Esteban."
"You're trying to put me to sleep, aren't you?"
"Come now, just listen. It's interesting."
She wore a sulky expression at first, but soon she was drawn into the One Hundred Mysterious Tales of the Archmage Klifford Esteban as I read them aloud.
And roughly ten minutes later—
"Kuuuul…"
"Whew. She's asleep."
Dreamlike stories, for all their fascination, have a way of lulling people to sleep. It isn't only boring books that send someone off to dreamland.
I gently smoothed the sleeping Young Lady's hair and rose from my seat.
"Sweet dreams, Young Lady."
Time to return to my own room. Tomorrow morning I would sleep in properly and recover my strength.
That was the plan, yet my feet refused to move. It wasn't the first time I had seen her sleeping face, yet I found myself wanting—just for a moment—to press a light kiss to her forehead.
Haa. It's those ridiculous thoughts again.
The fortune-teller's mad claim that Ailen and I were blood relatives. I had dismissed it as nonsense at the time. If it had been true, I could have proposed to the Young Lady without hesitation. With imperial blood, there would have been nothing to hold me back.
Delusion. Pure delusion.
Damn fortune-teller. To surface in my mind at a moment like this… The shock must have been too great for me to erase the memory completely.
I was a butler—someone who served the Young Lady. Hadn't I just reaffirmed that while caring for her this evening? Exhausted as I should have been, attending her had filled me with renewed energy. That only proved how thoroughly I was suited to a life of service.
There could be no secret of birth, no hidden destiny. I shook off the idle thoughts and left her room.
The next day.
"Ahaha! Frey! This is so much fun!"
"…"
Of all the countless illusion magics I had prepared, the Young Lady had chosen the high-speed freefall haunted house and was shrieking with delight.
How on earth had things turned out exactly the way Ailen predicted?