I Just Want to Die and Go to Another World
I muttered those words as I stretched, slouched in a cheap office chair. Looking at the mountain of overtime work still left to do—enough to drive anyone mad—I let out a heavy sigh.
Empty energy drink cans were piled like a mountain on my desk. I kept telling myself I needed to clean them up, but I couldn't bring myself to lift a finger. My limbs felt like lead, and a heavy weight pressed down on my chest. I was merely moving my hands, staring mechanically at the monitor. It made me wonder if this was really what life was supposed to be.
'Should I take a quick break...?' It was an amount of work that would require pulling an all-nighter anyway. Taking a brief rest wouldn't hurt. Dragging my heavy feet, I trudged toward the breakroom.
While the water in the electric kettle heated up, I pulled out my phone and opened the web novel I had been reading lately. Well, I was thoroughly enjoying it, but it wasn't exactly a popular series. More than anything, it didn't really fit modern sensibilities. The genre of this novel was what people commonly called "angst"—a story of pure, unadulterated misery.
The protagonist's name was Sera Rustier, the princess of the Rustier Kingdom. Once beloved by her people and deeply trusted by her royal father and his vassals, her life was dragged down into the absolute depths of hell one day. The catalyst was her father's remarriage. The woman who became the new queen was named Carmel Dehezard. A noblewoman from a distant land, she was a widow who had been living alone.
Well, you can probably guess what happens next without me even saying it, right? She was a villainess of unparalleled malice, and the king soon fell bedridden with a mysterious illness. Naturally, the villainess stretched her evil clutches toward the princess as well, subjecting her to all kinds of horrific trials. That was the gist of it.
No matter how much readers might enjoy angst, they lose interest if the protagonist is stupid. Furthermore, they hate it when the cause of the protagonist's endless suffering is their own foolishness. That was likely the reason this novel was so unpopular. Yet, ironically, that was precisely why I loved it.
The one I truly sympathized with wasn't the protagonist, but the villainess, Carmel. Unfettered by morality or conscience, she dragged foolishly innocent people down into the abyss of ruin, and watching her do so gave me an unbearable sense of catharsis. Perhaps I was drawn to such evil because of how starkly it contrasted with my own miserable reality.
Having worked at a black company for three years, severe overwork and power harassment plagued me day after day. I was probably seeking vicarious satisfaction through Carmel, who destroyed everything in her path without a single care in the world. Well, of course, it might also just be that my basic nature leaned heavily toward sadism.
In any case, I opened the latest chapter of the novel. As I scrolled down, completely absorbed in the text, a faint, twisted smile formed on my lips. Carmel was blackmailing Princess Sera, using her father's life as leverage to make an offer she couldn't refuse. Consequently, Princess Sera was forced to carve the word 'Whore' as a tattoo onto her own back. Carmel's mockery—that Sera could never show her body to any man again—pierced the princess's heart like a poisoned dagger.
"Mmm... delicious as always..." The electric kettle had finished boiling long ago. The moment I reached my arm up toward the cupboard to grab a mug, the floor suddenly rushed up to meet my eyes.
"Huh...?"
Thud!
A violent impact rattled my skull. A numbing sensation rapidly spread throughout my entire body. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't even wiggle a finger. 'My body... I can't move! Wait, is this...?' And just like that, my consciousness slowly faded into pitch-black darkness.
"Ah!" Gasping, I snapped my eyes open and bolted upright. My last memory was, of course, collapsing at the office. In that case, was this a hospital? I slowly scanned my surroundings. The interior was lavish and antique, looking like something straight out of medieval Europe. Even the bed I was lying on was of an immense size, resembling a suite in a super-luxury hotel.
'...Where on earth am I...?' At the very least, it certainly wasn't a hospital. There was even a maid standing right by the bedside.
"Good morning, Princess Sera."
"Excuse me?"
A massive question mark popped up in my head at the maid's words. Princess Sera? I suddenly realized that a cascade of dazzling blonde hair was draping down over my chest.
"A-A mirror! Bring me a hand mirror! Quickly!"
"Right away, Princess."
The maid calmly fetched a mirror and handed it to me. Just as I had suspected, the reflection staring back at me with wide, startled eyes was the breathtakingly beautiful Princess Sera.
"...Sera..."
Softly waving golden hair. Eyes that shone like brilliant rubies. And facial features so delicate and fine that one might be afraid to even touch them. Everything combined to form the very definition of a dazzlingly beautiful young girl.
'Could this really be... inside the novel?' I pinched my cheek, but it only looked adorable in the mirror, and the illusion before my eyes showed no signs of shattering. The maid gave a slightly awkward smile and spoke to me.
"Um, Princess... Is something the matter?"
"What is today's date? No, wait. Tell me my schedule for today!"
"Your schedule for today, Princess? You have a visit to the orphanage scheduled for this morning, and in the evening, a dinner with His Majesty the King and Lady Carmel."
"Lady Carmel...? Not Her Majesty the Queen?"
"Pardon? Ah, of course, since she enjoys His Majesty's deep favor, she will soon hold that title... but isn't it a bit too early to call her that just yet?"
Hearing the maid's response, I let out a quiet sigh of relief. Thank goodness. The timeline I had transmigrated into was before the king had officially made Carmel his queen. This was the absolute beginning of the novel. No matter how much I had enjoyed watching Sera suffer as a reader, I had absolutely no desire to experience that torment firsthand.
I had read this novel over and over again. I knew exactly how Carmel would try to trap me. I knew what she would use for blackmail. I knew what mistakes the princess and the king would make. I knew what schemes she would employ to become queen, and which of the vassals would betray us... I knew every single detail inside out.
In other words, Carmel could never defeat Sera. Not as long as I was inside Sera's body. No matter how wicked she was, no matter what conspiracies she plotted, she was ultimately just a single woman. With the status of a princess and the deep trust I had built up in this place, there was no way a Sera who refused to fall for her tricks would ever be defeated by Carmel. I could expose all of her schemes and ruin her instead.
Well, it did feel a bit strange to destroy Carmel, whom I had cheered for while reading the novel. No, actually, that was a lie. In truth, it felt absolutely exhilarating. Just imagining it made the sadism deep within me rear its head.
"Fufu, ufufufufufu."
"Um, Princess Sera... that laugh is a bit..."
In the hand mirror, Sera's elegant features were flushed with a crimson desire, wearing a smile that was the very epitome of sadistic pleasure.
Dinner time. This was the moment of the first meeting between Sera and Carmel in the novel. Even now, Carmel wore a benevolent expression perfectly suited for a future queen, hiding her fangs dripping with lethal venom.
Attended by the maids, I walked past the table laden with all kinds of delicacies and greeted the king.
"Sera Rustier, First Princess of the Kingdom, greets Your Majesty. Since this is such a special occasion, I have been looking forward to it immensely, Father!"
"Oh, Sera. Welcome. Come, greet her. This is Carmel. She has come from the far north."
Carmel sat beside the king. She offered me a gentle smile and greeted me.
"It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Carmel. I have heard so much about you from His Majesty. I look forward to our time together, Princess Sera."
Carmel's beauty, which was said to have bewitched an entire nation. I had imagined it countless times through the descriptions in the novel. Long hair like polished ebony. Pale skin that looked as if the snow of a mountain peak had been carefully scooped up and applied to it. Seductive eyes. A face that exuded a mysterious yet dangerous allure. However, seeing her in person, her beauty was far beyond what any words could ever describe.
'...She's so fucking gorgeous...' That was the limit of my pathetic vocabulary. But it was also the most honest expression. Carmel's beauty went beyond mere attractiveness; it felt as if it sent ripples straight through my very soul.
Of course, the Sera I had possessed was no slouch in the looks department either. However, rather than Sera's classic, princess-like beauty, Carmel's dangerous scent was much more to my liking. Honestly, her face was a plot device in itself. The fact that a king of a nation would fall so hopelessly in love and act so foolishly was entirely justified by this appearance alone. With a face like that, anyone would lose their mind.
At the same time, I felt a dark desire writhing deep within me. I wanted to devour her. I wanted to see this proud, haughty villainess begging for mercy amidst the absolute extremes of shame and humiliation. Suppressing a twisted smile, I replied to her.
"I look forward to getting to know you, Carmel."
Carmel gently grasped the hand I offered. Her hand was slightly cold. Perhaps at this very moment, Carmel and I were thinking the exact same thing.
'Foolish girl.'