Moonlight Conversation (2)
For a moment, words completely failed me. The chirping of insects in the surrounding grass felt distant and muted.
"…Are you saying you intend to kill Ian Miller?"
A faint smile played across Kaiden’s lips. He tilted his head slightly and asked, "Isn't this an ideal opportunity by any measure?"
A subjugation campaign where demonic creatures ran rampant. It wouldn't be strange in the least if someone were to suddenly lose their life out there.
"Judging by your expression, however," Kaiden murmured, studying the subtle shifts in my face, "you don't seem particularly pleased."
"…How could that be?"
Ian was the sworn enemy who had murdered me. One way or another, I intended to end him with my own two hands. Just picturing the bastard’s face made my fists clench tightly on their own.
"It's simply that I haven't heard the reason from him yet."
"The reason?"
I kept my voice as even and composed as possible. "Yes. I have yet to discover why he killed someone so precious to me."
The reason Ian took my life. Before cutting his breath short, that was the one truth I absolutely had to unearth.
"The reason, is it?" An enigmatic look crossed Kaiden’s face. "I can't fathom why you're curious about such a thing."
"Are you not curious as well, Your Majesty?"
Kaiden had claimed that he, too, had lost someone irreplaceable to Ian.
"Why that man killed the person precious to you, I mean."
"I'm not curious in the least." His reply was far more resolute and unyielding than I had anticipated.
"Why is that?"
"Because searching for a reason behind a murder is nothing more than seeking an excuse to forgive."
Why did those words strike so hard? Heat rushed to my cheeks the instant Kaiden's answer left his mouth. It felt as though he had laid bare a shameful secret—one I had buried so deeply that even I hadn't dared to confront it.
"I have no intention of forgiving him," Kaiden said, flashing a bright, tooth-baring grin. "Under any circumstances whatsoever."
I stood frozen, fists trembling in a tight grip. Though my feet rested on solid, level ground, the earth beneath me felt as if it were rocking violently.
Me? Forgiving him?
The final words Ian had whispered just before I died echoed through my head—mockingly telling me to ponder in the afterlife why I had to die.
I only wanted the answer to that question.
When the lover you cherished more than your own life plunges a dagger into your back without warning, isn't it only natural to demand to know why?
Yet in truth…
If vengeance had truly been my sole priority, couldn't I have slit Ian's throat the very first moment our eyes met? Back at the imperial palace, Ian had no inkling of who I was; he had been completely off his guard.
Was I really just searching for an excuse to forgive him?
In the end, what did the reason even matter? The brutal truth remained: I had died by Ian's treacherous hand. Had I not miraculously awakened in this new body, I would have died a pointless, forgotten dog's death.
And yet, there is no reason on earth he deserves pardon.
The moment I opened my eyes inside Rachel's body, I made a solemn vow: I would never, under any circumstances, forgive Ian for killing me.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Blood demanded blood. It was the simplest, cleanest form of retribution known to the world.
Even so… There were plenty of reasons why I hadn't struck him down immediately.
Simply dealing out death isn't always the sweetest vengeance.
What if what he craved most was wealth and prestige? What if he butchered me purely to climb that ladder? If so, stripping away everything he ever dreamed of grasping and leaving him with nothing—that would be the true torment. Even now, my conviction on that front hadn't wavered.
"…Your Majesty."
I looked up at Kaiden. The young monarch was gazing down at me with piercing eyes, as if measuring the depths of my heart.
"My thoughts are the exact opposite of yours."
"…The opposite?" One of Kaiden's dark brows arched sharply. "How so?"
"Death strikes me as far too lenient a punishment."
Death was the end of all things—of joy and pleasure, but also of misery and agony.
"I want him to suffer, to writhe in torment, for a very, very long time."
Death was a full stop, a definitive finality. There was no guarantee Ian would borrow another corpse and reincarnate as I had, nor was I confident I could hunt him down through eternity just to inflict pain upon his soul. That was why he had to stay alive—so he could thrash and gasp in the same agony I had tasted.
Slowly, endlessly, exquisitely.
"Hmm."
An inscrutable glint flickered across Kaiden’s golden eyes. He appeared oddly pleased with my response, yet a trace of dissatisfaction lingered beneath the surface.
"It doesn't entirely suit my tastes, but…" Kaiden smirked, one corner of his lips curling upward. "I suppose indulging your method wouldn't be the worst thing."
He tapped his fingers lightly against the pommel of his sword. "Very well. I shall hold off on eliminating that bastard during this campaign."
"Thank—"
I caught myself before the word could slip out, clamping my mouth shut. Offering gratitude would sound as though I were thanking him for sparing Ian’s life.
"I've thought this for a while now," the King of Adamant murmured. Fortunately, he didn't seem inclined to reprimand me for swallowing my manners. "The more I observe you, the more amusing you become."
He was merely studying me with open intrigue. "And remarkably eccentric, too."
Look who's talking, I thought. Staring flatly at Kaiden's rugged face, I let slip, "I imagine Your Majesty hears that quite often yourself."
"Which part? That I'm amusing, or that I'm eccentric?"
"The eccentric part."
Kaiden seemed to ponder the thought for a moment before narrowing one eye with a dry chuckle. "Well. There may be those who think it, but I've yet to meet anyone with the audacity to say it to my face."
Naturally. No one sane would risk it unless they had completely lost their fear of death. I swept my eyes down Kaiden’s imposing, broad-shouldered frame before raising them once more, sensing his gaze tracing over me in return.
What is it now?
It wasn't offensive. Unlike the appraising, predatory leers of other men, his look resembled that of an owner fretting over sending an unbroken, undersized colt into a perilous jousting match.
"Is something the matter?"
"Will you truly be all right?"
"Regarding what?"
"What else? The subjugation campaign." Kaiden frowned, genuinely baffled. "I have no idea how much training you've undergone, but wading into battle against beasts for days on end with a fragile frame like that is…"
"I appreciate your concern, but I will manage just fine." I turned my head away, deliberately ignoring his scrutiny. "I have prepared thoroughly."
"Knowing your temperament, I suppose you have." Kaiden's eyes narrowed slightly as if struck by a sudden realization. "By the way… how exactly do you produce a man's voice? If you had used magic or an elixir, you wouldn't be able to slip back into your original voice like this mid-conversation."
"I merely imitate it on my own."
"A man's voice?" The young king looked at me with genuine astonishment. "Where on earth did you pick up such a parlor trick?"
"Did you not say you would ask only one question?"
I had assumed we would settle Ian's fate and make a clean parting tonight.
"I believe I've already answered your single question."
"Can you not show a little flexibility?"
"My apologies, but I happen to be a person of strict principles."
I hadn't meant it as a joke, yet Kaiden burst into quiet laughter again, thoroughly entertained by my prickliness.
"Helpless, truly. Our steadfast, principled Brown…" He trailed off, pausing to peer at me. "What should I call you?"
"Pardon?"
"Your name. Surely you aren't using your real one here?"
Ah, right. I hadn't told him yet. Shaking my head, I replied, "No, of course not."
"Then how should I address you?"
I doubted the King of Adamant would ever have cause to call the Third Prince's attendant by name, but if he demanded to know, there was no harm in answering.
"Kyle," I stated casually. "Kyle Angela. The cover story is that I hail from a mercenary background, so you may simply call me Kyle."
A brief, inexplicable silence settled between us. Kaiden stared down at me without a word, his golden eyes unreadable.
Is it because it sounds too similar to Kyla?
Truthfully, it was an alias derived directly from my former identity. Hearing an entirely foreign name in a crisis might cause a fatal hesitation in my reflexes. Still, something felt strange. Kaiden clearly harbored a deep grudge against both Breath of the Angel and Ian, yet hearing a name so reminiscent of Kyla didn't provoke a shred of hostility in him.
In fact…
I studied Kaiden’s features carefully. The emotion etched across his striking face looked far closer to sorrow than wrath.
"…Kyle, is it?" Kaiden broke the quiet, muttering almost to himself. "It suits you remarkably well."
"Does it?"
"At the very least, it fits you far better than 'Rachel' ever did."
Whether that was meant as a compliment or an insult remained unclear. It rubbed me slightly the wrong way, but I chose not to show it.
"The hour has grown late."
Gazing upon someone’s sorrowful countenance was never pleasant. I glanced up at the waning moon, subtly shifting the subject. "I should retire for the night."
Fortunately, Kaiden seemed to have no desire to prolong the talk either. He turned his head and nodded in agreement. "You should."
"Did you bring a maidservant along to attend to your chambers?"
"No."
"Then how will you rest…?"
"Don't concern yourself," Kaiden chuckled softly. "I don't sleep on a battlefield."
What? Did that mean he planned to go without sleep for the entire duration of the campaign? Wielding a blade ceaselessly without a wink of rest?
What an absolute lunatic.
Swallowing the inward shout that threatened to spill past my lips, I offered a polite, formal bow. Just as Kaiden seemed about to vanish into the shadows, he called out to me once more.
"Ra—no, Kyle."
"Yes, Your Majesty?"
The young warrior king turned halfway back toward me.
"Tomorrow… see that you survive."
Somehow, that single parting phrase carried an immense, unspoken weight. I dipped my head quietly in return.
"May Your Majesty remain safe as well."
When I lifted my gaze, Kaiden was already gone. Nothing remained in the moonlit clearing save for the flattened patch of grass where he had stood.