Chapter 8
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 8
Chapter Title: Secret Lesson
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Eventually, pushing today's plans aside, Senior Disciple turned her steps back toward the inn where we'd stayed last night.
My footsteps returning to the Clear Wind Inn felt as heavy as if lead weights were tied to them.
The events at the magistrate's office kept circling in my mind, refusing to leave.
Was what I did right?
Was sheathing my sword and letting them live truly the act of a true hero?
Or was it just a cowardly self-consolation?
Even after entering the inn room, I sat on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the floor.
My mind was a tangled mess, like a knotted ball of thread.
At that moment, the door creaked open, and Senior Disciple entered.
In her hands, she held steaming hot steamed buns, their warmth rising gently.
The sweet, nutty aroma filled the room, but the tightness in my chest wouldn't ease.
"Yi Yi."
Senior Disciple sat quietly beside me and offered me one of the buns.
"You loved these since you were little. Eat it before it gets cold."
"......Thank you."
I took the bun weakly but couldn't bring myself to put it in my mouth.
The warmth seeped into my palm, but the chill in my heart lingered.
"Senior Disciple..."
"Yes."
"Did I... do something wrong?"
My voice was small and pathetic.
"Should I have just... cut them down like you said? If they get out and do more evil... it'll be my fault."
Senior Disciple took a bite of her bun, chewed slowly, then spoke.
"Yi Yi."
"Yes."
"Your actions were righteous. Avoiding needless killing and valuing life—that's a fine quality in a martial artist."
I looked up at her words, but her expression wasn't pure praise.
She gazed at me with serious eyes.
"But... righteous intentions don't always lead to good outcomes. The jianghu isn't that simple."
"......"
"The mercy you showed might turn into a blade striking back at someone else. That's the karma of a warrior, the weight we must bear."
A sharp pang stabbed my chest.
She was right about everything.
I might have just spared them to ease my own mind.
Ignoring what the consequences might be.
"Don't blame yourself too much."
Senior Disciple set down her half-eaten bun and gently wrapped her arms around my shoulders.
Her warm body heat made tears well up in my eyes.
"You're still learning. You don't yet know how contradictory the world is, how treacherous people's hearts can be... That's why it's okay."
"Senior Disciple..."
"You can learn it slowly from now on. I'll be right here with you."
She patted my back like she was soothing a child.
Her embrace, scented with plum blossoms and the nutty smell of the bun, was endlessly warm and comforting.
I buried my face in it, letting my tangled emotions melt away bit by bit.
Senior Disciple's embrace was still warm and peaceful.
Just like in my childhood, when I'd run to her on thundering nights.
I leaned into that familiar warmth, trying to relax.
The tension in my stiffened body slowly unwound, and instinctively, I burrowed deeper into her arms.
That embrace I'd clung to in fear as a child had surely been warm and solid.
But the sensation pressing against my cheek now was entirely different.
Softer than the freshly bought steamed bun, like a ripe peach yielding under pressure.
Mingled with the plum blossom scent tickling my nose came a dizzying, musky sweetness.
Each breath drew her bodily scent deep into my lungs.
Thump.
I heard my heart pounding against my ribs.
A hot heat coiled like a snake from deep in my lower abdomen and rose.
It was that unfamiliar sensation from last night, dominating my body.
Blood rushed in, muscles tensed taut.
My manhood swelled uncontrollably, straining against my pants as if to burst free.
"It's okay, Yi Yi. That's why big sis came with you. I'll teach you everything, one step at a time. Don't be so upset."
Senior Disciple, oblivious to my change, pulled me even deeper into her arms.
With each wrap of her arms around my back, the pressure on my chest intensified.
I barely clung to my fading senses and twisted my body away in haste.
Pop—.
I sprang from her embrace like someone bitten by a snake.
Scrambling to the corner of the bed, I hunched over, panting roughly.
"Hah, hah... S-sorry. It suddenly got hot..."
Senior Disciple's eyes widened at my sudden movement.
She looked at me in confusion and concern.
"Yi Yi? What's wrong? Are you hurt? Your face is red as a beet..."
She reached out with worried eyes.
Her pale fingertips approached my forehead.
I reflexively pulled back further, but that caused my awkwardly bent waist to straighten, exposing the part I'd tried to hide in stark relief.
Senior Disciple's hand froze in midair.
Her gaze slid naturally from my face to my chest, then lower.
A massive mound strained against the thin martial robes, twitching like an angry beast.
"Ah..."
A soft sigh escaped her lips.
Embarrassment spread across her gentle face, flushing it red.
Her eyes lingered on my swollen crotch.
The room fell into such heavy silence that even the sound of swallowing felt loud.
Shame burned my face like fire.
To act like this toward Senior Disciple again.
I hung my head, wishing I could bite my tongue and faint, when a warm touch gently covered my trembling hand.
"Yi Yi."
I looked up, and Senior Disciple no longer seemed flustered.
Her flushed cheeks bore a forced smile as she spoke softly to reassure me.
"It's okay. Don't feel ashamed or think there's something wrong with you."
"But... it keeps happening whenever you touch me. I feel like a beast."
"No. That's not true at all."
Senior Disciple shook her head and gently took my hand.
She hesitated, lips parting slightly, then continued in a very careful, low voice.
"All men... all real men are like that. It's natural as your body grows."
Her voice was calm and kind, like teaching a child about the ways of the world.
But there was a faint tremor at the end.
"Normally, you share that with someone you cherish, your beloved, confirming your love through intimacy. That's the proper way for man and woman."
Her gaze wandered lost over my shoulder.
Her ears flushed red as she struggled to continue.
"If you keep holding it back alone, letting it build up, it harms body and mind. Heat builds inside, ruining your health."
"It makes me... sick?"
"Yes. So it's not your fault. You just don't have a partner yet, no one to help release it."
Senior Disciple's eyes met mine again.
Her moist, glistening pupils stared deeply, soothing my guilt.
Then her gaze slowly drifted back down to my taut front.
"Does it... hurt a lot? Being so swollen like that... isn't it painful?"
A strange heat mingled in her concerned voice.
"It hurts... it's hot, and my body feels weird."
"It's okay, Yi Yi. This isn't something to be ashamed of."
Senior Disciple whispered as she gently brushed back my disheveled hair.
Her eyes delved deep into mine, then flicked troubled to the floor.
After her lips trembled a few times, she spoke in a resolute whisper.
"Last night... we made a little secret just between us, remember?"
My face burned at her words.
Senior Disciple watched my reaction and continued carefully.
"Truth is... big sis was helping you because you looked so distressed."
Her voice clung to my ear, secretive and sticky.
Like a master imparting a forbidden manual, yet utterly primal.
"From now on, when you're alone, you can do it yourself. Grip that hot part firmly with your hand, stroke it up and down, soothe it... and the heat will fade."
As she spoke, Senior Disciple unconsciously clenched and released her hand.
The motion of her pale fingers grasping at air etched into my mind.
"Keep touching until it feels good. Got it? Big sis will step out for a bit, so try it on your own."
She turned to rise from her seat.
In my urgency—or perhaps to confirm if her method was right—I reached for my waistband.
The heavy, throbbing mass filled my grip over the thin martial pants.
Without hesitation, I clutched it and began kneading.
"L-like... this?"
Her steps halted at my voice.
Senior Disciple slowly turned her head.
Her flushed face stared blankly at the twitching thing in my grasp.
Her eyes, about to leave, fixed on my crotch like iron drawn to a magnet, unable to tear away.
"Y-Yi Yi...!"
Senior Disciple exhaled raggedly in a urgent whisper.
Her pupils shook wildly, unmoored.
"That's... something you do alone! Lock the door, when no one's around...! You must never let anyone see!"
But contrary to her words, her feet didn't cross the threshold.
No, her hand fell limply from the doorknob.
Her gaze pursued my hand's motion like a serpent, relentlessly.
Through her panting breaths shone a strange longing, a voyeuristic desire.
I didn't stop.
I couldn't.
The fact that Senior Disciple was watching only burned my mind whiter.
I moved my hand clumsily and let out a groan.
"Hah... Senior Disciple... it's weird. It's getting hotter... my hand... it won't move right..."
My moan filled the room, and her shoulders twitched.
She swallowed dryly and bit her lip.
Glancing between my pained expression and my bulging front, she approached slowly, entranced.
Rustle.
With the sound of fabric brushing, Senior Disciple knelt slowly on the floor between my legs at the bed's edge.
Her trembling hand hovered in the air before settling cautiously on my thigh.
Her wet eyes looked up, locking with mine.
"Is it hard... to do alone?"
Her voice was soaked.
"Should... big sis help a little?"