Me, Impotent?!
The only sound in the inn was the slurping of noodles. At the table bathed in the slanting evening glow, three steaming bowls sat waiting. The village was eerily quiet, deathly still, with no other guests besides us huddled in the corner.
"Ugh... this tastes like shit."
Jegal Jiun grumbled as she stirred the plump, overcooked noodles with her chopsticks.
"What the hell is this? It's just salty and fills you up with nothing but gas."
"Just eat it," Hwa Yeon shot back, slurping her broth without leaving a drop.
"That's why I said we should've gone up to Shaanxi instead of this backwater Henan dump."
Jegal Jiun pouted, her lips pursing in complaint.
"Just eat it."
"Haa... Should've packed some garlic if I knew it'd be like this. It's so bland without it. Damn Henan hicks. Probably 'cause those Shaolin monks are still kicking around—everything tastes like temple slop."
"It's not temple slop, so just eat it. Why do you have to mutter through every bite?"
Hwa Yeon's patience was wearing thin. Veins bulged on the hand gripping her chopsticks.
But Jegal Jiun ignored her, picking up a single strand of noodle and eyeing it with disgust.
"Look at this. No chew at all. It snaps like..."
She shot me a sly sidelong glance and grinned wickedly.
"...some guy's limp dick."
"...!"
Thwack! Hwa Yeon slammed her chopsticks down on the table. The bowls rattled, broth splashing everywhere.
"Say that one more time, and I'll smash your fucking head into that noodle bowl."
Jegal Jiun just shrugged at Hwa Yeon's murderous warning.
"Joking, joking. Can't our sword fairy take a little tease? Tch, you're so uptight."
She grumbled but, glancing warily at Hwa Yeon, poked at her noodles.
I sat silently between them, head bowed, sipping my broth. It wasn't gourmet, sure, but in my current state, I had no room to complain. I just prayed this suffocating meal would end soon.
"Done? Let's go."
Hwa Yeon stood first.
"Got one room. Gotta keep an eye on you so you don't pull any shit. You're bunking with us."
"What? All three of us in one room?"
Jegal Jiun's eyes went wide.
"Hell no. I can't sleep without my own space. I'm sensitive."
"Shut your trap, prisoner. Follow before I tie you up."
Hwa Yeon cut her off sharply and grabbed my arm, pulling me along. Jegal Jiun trailed behind with a pout.
We climbed the creaky wooden stairs to a corner room on the second floor. The rickety door swung open to reveal a musty stench of mold and a cramped space: one worn bed, one table. Pathetic.
"Eek! What the fuck is this room?! If we're sharing, at least get something livable—this looks like a rat hole!"
Jegal Jiun swiped dust from the grimy window frame, wrinkling her nose. Her voice dripped with irritation, but Hwa Yeon ignored her, unpacking silently. She spread a clean cloth over the bed and lit some incense she'd brought, masking the mildew. Her movements were swift, practiced, efficient.
"Hey! Don't ignore me! I saw that Wudang geezer stuff you with travel money. And what about my family's coin pouches? Those weren't peanuts—why skimp?!"
Jegal Jiun stomped her foot in protest.
Hwa Yeon said nothing, gently helping me onto the bed.
"Yi Yi, lie down. I'll make you more comfortable."
Her touch was tender as she loosened my collar and checked my pulse.
"Your body's still not right."
She clasped my hand, rubbing it against her cheek, whispering with worry. Her eyes brimmed with deep affection and pity, as if Jegal Jiun's yapping didn't exist. All her focus was on me.
"Hey! You suffocating bitch! Give me my money! It's not like silk sheets will kill me!"
Jegal Jiun flopped onto the bed's edge, exhausted. She glared at Hwa Yeon, panting, but Hwa Yeon just stroked my hair, murmuring softly.
"...Shut up. Don't you get every word out of your mouth disturbs Yi Yi's rest?"
Hwa Yeon's voice was low and chilling. Jegal Jiun flinched and clamped her mouth shut. But her eyes still burned with resentment, glaring holes into the shabby ceiling.
"Fuck... Fucking someone in a dump like this would give you a disease even if you didn't have one."
With an irritated huff, Jegal Jiun stripped off her clothes.
"There. Touch all you want. Horny? Shove it in anytime. Wanna make out? Wake me up. Relax."
Stark naked, she pressed against my back. Her cool, smooth skin sent a shiver racing up my spine. Her hands were already snaking toward my waist.
Hwa Yeon shot her a look of disgust but sighed in resignation. She too slipped off her outer robes and slid in front of me.
"Fine. If you want, cling to your big sis all you like. Just relax."
She nestled into my arms. Her full breasts pressed softly against my chest. Her scorching body heat seeped in, warming my chilled frame ever so slightly.
Hot waves from the front, cool chill from behind—they clashed and mingled, weaving an odd comfort. Exhaustion crashed over me. My eyelids grew impossibly heavy. I drifted off.
Not fully asleep, but in that hazy half-dream state where reality blurred. Then, the women's voices buzzed faintly in my ears.
"...What're we gonna do?"
"About what."
"You know damn well. His dick. Don't you know what he likes?"
"......"
"Come on, you two look like you've done everything—sucking, fucking. And you don't know what gets him off?"
Silence hung for a moment.
"...Breasts."
Hwa Yeon's voice trembled faintly.
"He seems to like breasts the most."
"Ugh, fucking typical. Guys go nuts for those massive udders. Tch, it's just fat lumps anyway."
Jegal Jiun tsked in annoyance. I felt her cool skin twitch—probably comparing her flat chest to Hwa Yeon's ample ones.
"Tell me more. Why do you think he likes tits?"
"Well..."
Hwa Yeon hesitated forever. Even in the dark, I could picture her face flushing crimson.
"I don't know... But he came the most... on my breasts."
"Holy shit, you two are total freaks. Acting all prim and proper, but you Hua Sect folks are all..."
Thud! A heavy thud rent the silence—far meatier than bone on flesh.
"Ow! You crazy bitch!"
The bed shook violently with Jegal Jiun's yelp.
"Why bring up my sect here?!"
Hwa Yeon's voice seethed with rage. She sounded like she'd grabbed Jegal Jiun by the collar, breathing hard.
"Fine... my bad. Fuck, thought you broke my nose."
Jegal Jiun groaned, clutching her face.
"Jeez, your temper. Okay, okay. I won't trash-talk Hua Sect. Chill. Point is, to get this guy's dick up, you need those epic tits of yours."
"...Yeah."
A cool weight rose from behind me. Jegal Jiun brazenly climbed over, her chilly fingers reaching for Hwa Yeon's chest.
"Lemme see."
"See what?!"
"Whoa... For tits this huge, you'd expect big nipples and areolas, but these are coin-sized? Hmm... pretty, though."
Jegal Jiun's admiration was blatant. Her finger poked Hwa Yeon's perky areola.
Smack!
"You perverted freak!"
Hwa Yeon slapped her hand away viciously.
"No, seriously—gotta figure out how to make him lose it with these."
Jegal Jiun rubbed her hand, whining like she'd been wronged.
"I'll handle it. Butt out."
Hwa Yeon's tone was icy as frost. She cradled her breasts protectively, glaring at Jegal Jiun with contempt.
"Butt out? Be real—have you fucked any guys besides him? Or have you spread for every Hua Sect dude...?"
Hwa Yeon's killing intent flooded the room before Jegal Jiun could finish. Even in the dark, her eyes flashed blue murder.
"...Okay, okay. Won't say it."
Jegal Jiun recoiled, tail between her legs. Instinct screamed danger.
"Anyway. If he's your only guy experience, you need my help."
"Don't. I know Yi Yi better than anyone."
Hwa Yeon snapped firmly, pulling up the blanket. But Jegal Jiun pressed on relentlessly.
"Nah, all guys are the same. I've fucked Nine Great Factions monks, Five Great Families heirs—you name it. Daoists, Buddhists, scholars, martial artists—they all melt for the same shit."
She tsked again.
"Wudang taoists acting all lofty, Nangong heirs playing noble... Suck 'em off once, and they drool like dogs. You might know 'Hua Sect Yi Yi,' but not 'stud Yi Yi'?"
"Shut up."
"Shut what? This ain't the time to protect your pride. If his dick won't rise for the Ice Maidens, no cure."
Jegal Jiun's words cut deep.
"...So."
After a long silence, Hwa Yeon spoke haltingly.
"What do we do?"