The Nightmare Returns
After experiencing a deep sleep for the very first time in ages, I glanced to the side and found the spot where Lily had been last night was empty.
“Lily? You woke up first?”
“Mmm~”
Lily sat at the table, examining the envelope I had received yesterday.
“I got curious, so I opened it early~.” You told me not to look, but... if it’s Lily, it shouldn’t matter.
“So, what is it?”
“Ah, it’s the personal information and addresses of the hero party members. It says to decide the meeting place and time, then send letters here?”
Ah, so that’s what it was.
“Well, the sooner the better.”
“You want to defeat the Demon King that way?”
“No, not really... I just think it’s better to start quickly. Something might happen.”
“Hmm. And there’s a portrait attached here too? Let me see.”
“Okay, fine. Give it here.”
The first one I received was Maisha.
“Well, it’s all the information I already know. Her archery skill, which tribe she belongs to, and the position for sending the letter.”
The next one was Clotine, the same as before.
“An outstanding mage with strong adaptability, and the position for sending the letter.”
But the fact that these two came out means the next one...
“Here.”
“Huh?”
“Not taking it? One left.”
I thought for a moment and answered.
“I don’t want to see that person.”
“Why?”
“Just... I don’t want to see.”
“Why? This one is the prettiest.”
“I don’t like it.”
“No, why are you like that? It’s not like you’ll die if you see it.”
With a long sigh, I took the letter.
Name: Floris. Saintess. And...
“Look, there’s nothing wrong with it.”
There was nothing wrong. The moment I saw the portrait attached to the paper, a chill ran down my spine.
Sweat spread across my entire body, and soon even nausea hit me.
“Cough, cough. Hic, hic.”
“Opba, why are you acting like this all of a sudden! Opba!”
It was hard to breathe. My vision darkened.
Lily’s voice calling my name was barely audible.
It was hard to breathe.
Air.
I need air. Air. Air...
“Honey, wake up. Eat breakfast.”
This voice... it’s the voice I’ve tried to erase from my memories countless times, but couldn’t.
Floris.
“You... why are you...?”
“What are you saying, dear? Are you not feeling well?”
“No... this is fake. It’s my hallucination. I need to wake up, wake up...”
“You’re not really not feeling well, are you? How about resting today instead of working?”
“Working?”
“Yes. You said you’d plant seeds in the field today, right? You can do it tomorrow.”
“No, you... came back? Why... did you run away?”
“What? I ran away? Where would I go leaving you behind?”
This doesn’t make sense. Something’s wrong. It’s strange.
Too vivid.
“Let’s spend time together today, just the three of us. It’s been a while.”
“Son?”
“Yes, your son. Our son. He’s at school now, he’ll be back soon.”
What is this? Is this really my dream? It’s so vivid.
Is this... real?
Did I dream it?
Was everything fake? The regression, the new chance... Lily too.
Lily? Who is she? Someone important... the memory doesn’t come back.
“Honey, what shall we do today? It’s been a while since we’ve been together.”
“Um, I don’t know...”
“Then when the son comes, we’ll go on a picnic, and I’ll make bento?”
“...Yeah.”
“Menu: roasted chicken and vegetable stew~”
“Yeah. I’ll help.”
“Here, the chicken is already marinated, so just put it in the oven.”
“Yeah.”
I opened the oven and placed the chicken inside. An oven in the house?
“Hey, Floris?”
“Yes, honey?”
“Was there such a thing in the house?”
“Any... ah!”
“Ah... I cut it.”
“Give it here.”
“Ah...”
“It wasn’t cut deep. Wash it in clean water and disinfect well, it won’t scar.”
“Yes...”
“Be careful. You could have gotten badly hurt.”
“I’m sorry...”
“You don’t have to apologize to me. You’re worrying...”
Sudden dizziness hit me.
This situation... this dialogue. I’ve heard it somewhere.
“Why are you like that?”
“No, this is weird... something doesn’t match.”
“What are you saying again? You should rest more.”
“No... just, something’s weird. This doesn’t feel real.”
“Mom, Dad~”
“Ah, our son. I’ll go open the door.”
“Dad~ I went to school~.”
“Yeah, okay. You’re back.”
“Mom said she’s going on a picnic today?”
“Yeah, son.”
“But why call me son all the time? Usually you call me by name.”
Right. Why call me son? Our son’s name, the son’s name...
What was it?
“Dad, you didn’t forget your son’s name, did you?”
“No, of course not...”
“Right? Then call me by name.”
I couldn’t say anything.
“You forgot after all. Then do you remember my face?”
The son’s face blurred, like a mosaic.
“Hic, your face... what is this...”
“Even if it was erased, forgetting your son’s name and face? This is complete garbage, isn’t it?”
“You, what are you saying...”
“So, Mom and I didn’t leave, right? You still don’t get it?”
“If it wasn’t you, but someone else, Mom and I would have been happy. You, you caused this.”
“It’s all your fault.”
The son disappeared into the fog, and the light shining from outside gradually faded.
Night. Too dark a night. In the house where night had come, only I remained.
“Kyle-ssi.”
“Balbo-ssi? How did you get here?”
“It’s all your fault.”
“What?”
“It’s all your fault. That’s why this happened.”
“Like this bastard! Why is it all my fault! Why am I the one to blame! The one who betrayed is that bitch! But why am I the one to blame! I did my best... I only thought about family, only family...”
“Kiik.”
Balbo-ssi was gone,
In the fog surrounding me, the son’s voice mocked me.
“Just like that day. This is the day it all ended.”
Something flew in the fog.
The Holy Sword.
“You know what to do, right? You’ve done it once before.”
In the end, this is it. I took the Holy Sword again and pierced my heart.
“It’s not my fault...”
The Holy Sword pierced the hero’s heart again.
“Hic! Hah... hah.”
The person who had been submerged in water, like coming up to the surface, I gasped for breath.
“Opba! You’re awake! Are you okay? You suddenly collapsed and I was scared! I called but you didn’t wake up, and you were sweating a lot...”
“Lily? Is it really you?”
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m here.”
“That’s good... you, really...”
“I don’t know what you’re saying, but are you really okay?”
“I’m okay... just a nightmare.”
Outside was dark. Did I sleep through the whole day...
“Opba, first you should take a bath, right? You sweated a lot.”
I looked at my wet clothes and the bed soaked in sweat.
“Yeah, that’s right. Then, can you change the new clothes and bed sheet?”
“Um, when the bath is ready, I’ll tell you.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Haa...”
I put my fatigued body into the warm water.
At least my head felt clearer.
Steam rising from the hot bath.
Seeing this, the fog from the dream rose.
What meaning does this dream have for me.
Am I still attached? To the life I lived before regression.
About Floris.
The son. What is the meaning of the son.
Unlike in the dream, the son’s name and face were clear.
Just... when I think about it, I rarely recalled the son after regression.
The guilt about that, did it manifest through my unconscious?
Then my unconscious has something blaming me.
I knew I wasn’t normal.
Right after regression, I was... unnaturally optimistic?
I changed so suddenly I couldn’t imagine.
But even then, like this incident, suddenly anger, sadness, powerlessness, betrayal, everything covered me at once.
Bipolar disorder?
The bipolar disorder that was a companion of modern people, is it affecting me living in this world?
I don’t know. I know nothing. My thoughts are not organized.
Kuk.
Am I going crazy?
That’s not bad either...
After taking a deep breath, I slowly submerged my head underwater.
With each exhale, the air bubbles popping reflected my madness.
I just watched them.
“Opba. Now sleep. Don’t think about anything. From tomorrow, we’ll start.”
Uhn, that’s right. But...
I can’t sleep.
Actually, I’m afraid. After the dream, I’m scared to fall asleep again.
Will I return to that hell again?
Will I be able to wake up this time?
Feeling terrifying imaginations filling my inside, I mocked myself who felt fear from somewhere strange.
“Opba, are you okay?”
“Opba is fine. No, actually I’m so happy I might go crazy.”
“Interesting... I thought of something.”
“Opba.”
“Huh?”
“Tonight too, I have to be with you.”
“No, why?”
“The current you, I can’t leave you alone.”
“Turn off the light, close your eyes, Opba. You only had nightmares today, you should have good dreams.”
Turn off the light, Lily entered the blanket with me.
“Lily. Can I hug?”
“Yeah. This is the first time you’ve said that first.”
“Um... Opba. If it’s hard, you can rely on me sometimes. No matter what you say, I’ll accept it.”
“And, whatever troubles you, it’s not your fault.”
Huh? Where did she hear this? Did I mutter in my sleep?
I felt strange, but didn’t say anything.
I wanted to keep the warmth of Lily’s comfort a bit more.
So I closed my eyes without saying anything.